"I LOVE YOU! I CAN NOT KEEP THE SECRET ANY LONGER!"
For a moment Bernardine rested in his arms while Jay Gardiner cried over and over again, reckless as to how it would end:
"Yes, I love you, Bernardine, with all my heart, with all my soul!"
But it was for a moment only; then the girl struggled out of the strong arms that infolded her, with the expression of a startled fawn1 in her dark, humid eyes.
"Oh, Doctor Gardiner, don't; please don't!" she gasped2, shrinking from him with quivering lips, and holding up her white hands as though to ward3 him off. "You must not speak to me; indeed, you must not!"
Before he could add another word, she answered, quickly:
"Let me tell you why it is not right to listen to you, Doctor Gardiner. I—I am the promised wife of Jasper Wilde!"
"You are to marry Jasper Wilde?" he cried, hoarsely. "I can not believe the evidence of my own senses, Bernardine!"
"You do not love him, Bernardine!" cried Jay Gardiner, bitterly. "Tell me—answer me this—why are you to marry him?"
Her lips moved, but no sound came from them.
"If I should sue to you upon my bended knees to be mine, Bernardine, would you not turn from him for me?"
He knew by the piteous sob8 that welled from the very depths of her heart how deeply this question must have struck her.
"Bernardine," he cried, hoarsely, "if ever I read love in a girl's heart when her eyes have met mine, I have read it in yours! You love me, Bernardine. You can not, you dare not deny it. I repeat, if I were to sue you on my bended knees, could you, would you refuse to be my wife?"
"I—must—marry—Jasper Wilde," she whispered, wretchedly.
Without another word, stung by pride and pain, Jay Gardiner turned from the girl he had learned to love so madly, and hurried down the dark, winding9 stairs, and out into the street.
For one moment poor Bernardine gazed at the open door-way through which his retreating form had passed; then she flung herself down on her knees, and wept as women weep but once in a life-time.
Wounded love, outraged10 pride, the sense of keen and bitter humiliation11, and yet of dread12 necessity, was strong upon her. And there was no help for her, no comfort in those tears.
"Was ever a girl so wronged?" she moaned.
She wept until there seemed to be no tears left in those dark, mournful eyes. As she lay there, like a pale, broken lily, with her head and heart aching, she wondered, in her gentle way, why this sorrow should have fallen upon her.
While she lay there, weeping her very heart out, Jay Gardiner was walking down the street, his brain in a whirl, his emotions wrenching13 his very soul.
Miss Pendleton had written him that she would expect him to call that evening. He had been about to write her that it would be an impossibility; but now he changed his mind. Going there would be of some benefit to him, after all, for it would bring him surcease of sorrow for one brief hour, forgetfulness of Bernardine during that time.
It touched him a little to see how delightedly the girl welcomed him. She, too, was a money-seeker like the rest of her sex; but he could also see that she was in love with him.
"I have been home for three days, and you have not even remembered that fact," she said, brightly, yet with a very reproachful look.
"I shall hold you to your word," she declared. "But dear me, how pale and haggard you look! That will never do for a soon-to-be bridegroom!"
His brow darkened. The very allusion16 to his coming marriage was most hateful to him. Sally could see that, though she pretended not to notice it.
Mr. and Mrs. Pendleton came in to welcome him, being so profuse17 in their greeting that they annoyed him.
Louisa was more sensible. Her welcome was quiet, not to say constrained18.
"If it had been Louisa instead of Sally," he mused19, bitterly, "the fate that I have brought upon myself would be more bearable."
He was so miserable20 as he listened to Sally's ceaseless chatter21 that he felt that if he had a revolver, he would shoot himself then and there, and thus end it all.
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1
fawn
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| n.未满周岁的小鹿；v.巴结，奉承 | |
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2
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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3
ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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4
hoarsely
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| adv.嘶哑地 | |
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5
astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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6
ashen
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| adj.灰的 | |
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7
drooped
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| 弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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8
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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9
winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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10
outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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11
humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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12
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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13
wrenching
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| n.修截苗根，苗木铲根（铲根时苗木不起土或部分起土）v.（猛力地）扭( wrench的现在分词 )；扭伤；使感到痛苦；使悲痛 | |
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14
offense
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| n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪 | |
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15
remiss
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| adj.不小心的，马虎 | |
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16
allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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17
profuse
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| adj.很多的，大量的，极其丰富的 | |
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18
constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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19
mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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20
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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21
chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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