That talk with Lord Hurdly made a distinct epoch1 in their relations to each other. Neither ever referred to it, but it had left its impress upon both. To Bettina it gave the assurance that she had done all that could possibly be required of her, in her desire to come to a true and amicable2 understanding with her husband, and, after it, she had a greater sense of freedom. To Lord Hurdly it gave an insight into Bettina’s nature which he had not had before. He found her to be possessed3 of a power of caustic4 speech which, he was bound to acknowledge, had made him feel uncomfortable. He felt also that he had not succeeded in asserting his supremacy5 over her quite so conclusively6 as he could have wished. He had, moreover, an uncomfortable warning, from the recollection of her words and looks, that it might be better for him to think twice in future before crossing swords with her. He was a man who hated opposition7, and who [Pg 109]was quite unused to dealing8 with it in his own house. He was still master, and his sovereignty no one had even questioned. As he desired to keep this so, he did not care to enter into any further discussion with Bettina. There were circumstances not beyond his conceiving which might cause him a greater loss of prestige than any already endured, and the thought of these made him careful to avoid coming again into close quarters with Bettina.
This position on his part led to an attitude toward his wife which might have been interpreted agreeably, since he no longer seemed to watch her so narrowly as he had done. He seemed, without speaking on the subject, to give her rather more freedom, and he never again referred to her interest in the Indian famine or in the doings of Horace Spotswood.
Yet Bettina had the same uncomfortable sense of being criticised and held to strict account. She felt as if evidence were rolling up against her which might one day be brought before her all at once.
She had, however, acquired a thirst for some knowledge of things beyond her own narrow interests, which was not to be calmed except by indulgence. When she looked about her in the [Pg 110]great throbbing9 life of London, she found so many objects which seemed absolutely to stand waiting for her interest and participation10 that she was soon caught in the strong movement of woman’s work in social life in its wider and deeper meaning.
No sooner was it found that Lady Hurdly was willing to interest herself in such matters than they came crowding upon her. It was a new and delightful11 consciousness to her that she might become part of the power that was working against the evil in the world, and she threw herself into the effort with spirit and enthusiasm.
Life became better for her after that. The importance of her position was borne into her in a new and better way. By being Lady Hurdly she might hope, perhaps, to do some little service in bettering the lots of those who were at the other extreme of life’s scale from her, whereas if she had remained in her former position she would have had as little value at one end as at the other.
Apart from these considerations of pure altruism12 was the sweet thought that she was drawing nearer to her mother in spirit, now that she was trying so hard to give help to others; and sometimes another thought would come. This was [Pg 111]that, far apart as their lives must be, she was trying to do in her sphere what Horace was doing in his, and perhaps with the same hope in the heart of each—namely, that the record of the future might help to compensate13 for the mistakes and wrong-doings of the past. She found herself passionately14 hoping that he had flung his evil past behind him, just as she was trying to throw hers.
Under these changed conditions, Bettina’s second season in London was unlike the first in both its object and its results. From some unknown and unquestioned source she was becoming penetrated15 with the “scorn for miserable16 aims that end with self,” and by the time that she was ready to return to Kingdon Hall her life had become so informed with its new purpose that she looked forward to the leisure which her removal there would give with real satisfaction in its opportunity for better work. Besides, she had now in view a personal supervision17 of the affairs on the Kingdon Hall estate, which she was eager to enter into. She had awakened18 to the duty of looking after the interests of tenants19 and the good of the parish.
Whether she would have the approval of her husband in such work or not she was unable to [Pg 112]guess. So far, beyond a rather cynical20 and distant observation of her new interests he had never interfered22, but she guessed that the probable explanation of this fact was that he felt that her prominence23 in philanthropic activities, which had been approved by the best society, was a new way of reflecting glory upon himself.
For, as time had passed and Bettina had got a truer insight into the man she had married, the fact had confronted her that he was egoistic to the last degree. His cold neutrality of manner veiled this to most people, but to her keen and constant observation the length and breadth of his egoism were at times almost sickening.
She was therefore not unprepared for what happened when she began her visiting among the poor at Kingdon and her investigation24 into the needs of her husband’s tenants. She had gone to work openly about it, and he had taken no notice; but one morning, when he was about to leave for a few days’ hunting in one of the neighboring counties, he said to her, at the moment of departure:
“I want to tell you that I do not approve of the innovations which you are beginning to make in the management of affairs on the estate. The ladies of Kingdon Hall, heretofore, have left [Pg 113]these matters to their husbands, and I prefer that you do the same. I mention it now so that I may see no signs of interference on my return.”
It was not at all unusual for him to take this tone with her, and he was following his usual custom in speaking to her in a moment of haste, whenever he had anything unpleasant to say. He could, in this way, end the conversation where he chose, and she saw that he had no intention of lingering now. The cart was at the door, and he had on his overcoat and even his hat, and stood drawing on and buttoning his gloves, with an unlighted cigar between his teeth. His eyes were bent25 upon his task, under frowning brows.
His cool and careless words, which her knowledge of him taught her were the veneering for an inexorable resolution, gave her a shock of disappointment. She did not often take a humble26 tone with him, but there was humility27 as well as entreaty28 in her voice as she now said,
“You won’t forbid my going to see the tenants, and making things a little better for them, if I can, will you?”
“I forbid all interference,” he answered, in a tone that made her feel that he relished29 the exercise [Pg 114]of his power. “You can safely leave the affairs of my tenants to me. They have fared sufficiently30 well in my hands so far.”
At one time these words and tones would have provoked a sharp retort, but Bettina had so far changed since the early months of her marriage that the thoughts of her own wrongs and indignities31 were now less insistent32 than the troubles of these poor people, which she had hoped to be able to alleviate33.
“Oh, indeed you are mistaken!” she said, urgently. “You do not know how much they need what a very little money and effort would supply them with. Don’t refuse to let me help them. It is a thing so near to my heart.”
She saw his face grow harder.
“It is also,” he said, “near my pocket. Going in for charity is all very well, if it amuses you, and I did not interfere21 with your doing so in London. Here, however, it is different. The time has come to stop it.”
His words hurt her pride, and she felt, too, that he liked the position of being entreated34 by her. She had an instinct to retort sharply, but another instinct was stronger. She was feeling what was a new sensation to her—a willingness to humble her pride that others might be benefited.
[Pg 115]
“I have never given money without first satisfying myself that you approved it,” she said, “and I will promise you to regulate my public charities in future strictly35 in accordance with whatever limitations you may set. But don’t refuse to let me work a little here—it will not take much money—among the poor at our very doors.”
Instead of softening36 him, as she had hoped that this attitude of humility would do, her words seemed to have the opposite effect. She had a feeling, all at once, that he enjoyed making her appeal to him, because it would give him the still greater pleasure of refusing.
He did not answer at once. It seemed to please him to keep her waiting. His gloves were now neatly37 fastened on his long thin hands, and with great deliberation he took out his match-box and proceeded to light his cigar. She noticed that he did not ask permission to do so, as he would certainly have done at one time—as he would also, undoubtedly38, at one time have removed his hat while talking to her. Still, these signs of a diminished deference39 toward her touched her lightly compared with the importance which she attached to his answer to her question.
[Pg 116]
She watched him narrowing his eyes, to avoid the smoke which he was now puffing40 from his just-lighted cigar, and waited for him to speak.
Always scrupulously41 careful in small things, he walked to the window to throw away the end of the extinguished match. It suddenly came over her that he did not intend to answer her last words.
Perhaps he wanted to make her urge him further. At this her heart rebelled. She would not. Still, the idea of his going off for several days, leaving the question unsettled, was too annoying to contemplate42. As he moved toward the door she said:
“You have not answered me.”
“I beg your pardon,” he said, with chill politeness. “I answered you in the beginning. I wish you to leave the management of the tenants’ affairs where they properly belong—with me.”
So saying, he lifted his hat, bowed, and went.
Bettina stood where he had left her, trembling with indignation from the sense of being treated tyrannically by a person who exercised an arbitrary power over her which she could not dispute. What had she ever done to deserve such treatment at his hands? How dared he treat her so?
[Pg 117]
With the new-born instinct of rectitude within her she tried to see if there was any reasonable ground for the real dislike of her which now seemed to be in her husband’s mind. With every desire to be honest, she could think of none except the fact that she had not answered to his rein43. He could hardly resent her not loving him, for he had married her without asking that; and besides, what did he know of love, as she was now beginning to comprehend it? No, it was not that which he resented in her; it was the fact that, although she chose to conform to him in outward things, he had never obtained the mastery of her in the manner which, to his ideas, befitted the relationship of Lord and Lady Hurdly. She thought of the picture of his meek44 little mother and masterful-looking father.
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1
epoch
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| n.(新)时代；历元 | |
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2
amicable
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| adj.和平的，友好的；友善的 | |
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3
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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4
caustic
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| adj.刻薄的，腐蚀性的 | |
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supremacy
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| n.至上；至高权力 | |
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6
conclusively
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| adv.令人信服地，确凿地 | |
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7
opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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8
dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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9
throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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10
participation
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| n.参与，参加，分享 | |
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11
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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12
altruism
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| n.利他主义，不自私 | |
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13
compensate
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| vt.补偿，赔偿；酬报 vi.弥补；补偿；抵消 | |
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14
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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15
penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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16
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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17
supervision
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| n.监督，管理 | |
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18
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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19
tenants
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| n.房客( tenant的名词复数 )；佃户；占用者；占有者 | |
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20
cynical
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| adj.(对人性或动机)怀疑的，不信世道向善的 | |
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21
interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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22
interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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23
prominence
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| n.突出；显著；杰出；重要 | |
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24
investigation
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| n.调查，调查研究 | |
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25
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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26
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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28
entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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29
relished
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| v.欣赏( relish的过去式和过去分词 )；从…获得乐趣；渴望 | |
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30
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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31
indignities
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| n.侮辱，轻蔑( indignity的名词复数 ) | |
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32
insistent
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| adj.迫切的，坚持的 | |
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33
alleviate
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| v.减轻，缓和，缓解(痛苦等) | |
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34
entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35
strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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36
softening
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| 变软，软化 | |
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37
neatly
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| adv.整洁地，干净地，灵巧地，熟练地 | |
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38
undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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39
deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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40
puffing
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| v.使喷出( puff的现在分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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41
scrupulously
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| adv.一丝不苟地；小心翼翼地，多顾虑地 | |
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42
contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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43
rein
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| n.疆绳，统治，支配；vt.以僵绳控制，统治 | |
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44
meek
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| adj.温顺的，逆来顺受的 | |
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