Book 15 Chapter 19

THERE was nothing in Pierre's soul now like what had passed within him in similar circumstances during the time of his being betrothed¹ to Ellen.

He did not go over, as he had then, with a sickening sense of shame the words he had uttered; he did not say to himself: “Oh, why did I not say that, and why, oh why, did I say then: I love you.” Now, on the contrary, every word of hers and of his own, he went over in his imagination with every detail of look and smile, and wanted to add nothing, to take nothing away, he longed only to hear it over again. As for doubts— whether what he contemplated² doing was right or wrong—there was never a trace of them now. Only one terrible doubt sometimes assailed³ his mind. Was it not all a dream? Was not Princess Marya mistaken? Am I not too conceited⁴ and self-confident? I believe in it; but all at once— and it's what is sure to happen—Princess Marya tells her; and she smiles and answers: “How queer! He has certainly made a mistake. Doesn't he know that he is a man, a mere⁵ man, while I? … I am something altogether different, higher.”

This doubt alone often beset⁶ Pierre. He made no plans of any sort now. The happiness before him seemed to him so incredible that the only thing that mattered was to bring it to pass, and nothing could be beyond. Everything else was over.

A joyful⁷, unexpected frenzy⁸, of which Pierre had believed himself incapable⁹, seized upon him. The whole meaning of life, not for him only, but for all the world, seemed to him centred in his love and the possibility of her loving him. Sometimes all men seemed to him to be absorbed in nothing else than his future happiness. It seemed to him sometimes that they were all rejoicing as he was himself, and were only trying to conceal¹⁰ that joy, by pretending to be occupied with other interests. In every word and gesture he saw an allusion¹¹ to his happiness. He often surprised people by his significant and blissful looks and smiles, that seemed to express some secret understanding with them. But when he realised that people could not know of his happiness, he pitied them from the bottom of his heart, and felt an impulse to try to make them somehow understand that all that they were interested in was utter nonsense and trifles not deserving of attention.

When suggestions were made to him that he should take office under government, or when criticisms of any sort on general, political questions, or on the war, were made before him, on the supposition that one course of events or another would affect the happiness of all men, he listened with a gentle smile of commiseration¹², and astounded¹³ the persons conversing¹⁴ with him by his strange observations. But both those persons, who seemed to Pierre to grasp the true significance of life, that is, his feeling, and those luckless wretches¹⁵ who obviously had no notion of it—all at this period appeared to Pierre in the radiant light of his own glowing feeling; so that on meeting any one, he saw in him without the slightest effort everything that was good and deserving of love.

As he looked through his dead wife's papers and belongings¹⁶, he had no feeling towards her memory but one of pity that she had not known the happiness he knew now. Prince Vassily, who was particularly haughty¹⁷ just then, having received a new post and a star, struck him as a pathetic and kind-hearted old man, very much to be pitied.

Often afterwards Pierre recalled that time of happy insanity¹⁸. All the judgments¹⁹ he formed of men and circumstances during that period remained for ever true to him. Far from renouncing²⁰ later on those views of men and things, on the contrary, in inner doubts and contradictions, he flew back to the view he had had during that time of madness; and that view always turned out to be a true one.

“Perhaps,” he thought, “I did seem strange and absurd then; but I was not so mad then as I seemed. On the contrary, I was cleverer and had more insight then than at any time, and I understood everything worth understanding in life, because … I was happy.”

Pierre's madness showed itself in his not waiting, as in old days, for those personal grounds, which he had called good qualities in people, in order to love them; but as love was brimming over in his heart he loved men without cause, and so never failed to discover incontestable reasons that made them worth loving.

皮埃尔现在的心情，与他在向海伦求婚时的处境虽然相似，但心情却完全不同。

他从来不愿意重复他当时带着一种病态的羞愧心情对海伦说出的那些话，他不会对自己说：“哎呀，我为什么不说这一点，为什么，为什么我当时说‘Jevousaime'①？”相反，他现在重复着她说过的每一句话和他说过的每一句话，既不添加一个字，也不减少一个字，在他头脑中像过电影似的，详细地回顾了她的表情和她的微笑，他现在所想的只是不停地重复。他对自己所做的事情是好还是坏，连一丝一毫怀疑的影子也不存在了。只有一团可怕的疑云不时在头脑中掠过。所有这一切莫非是在做梦吧？玛丽亚公爵小姐没有弄错了吧？我是不是太自负，或者是太自信了呢？我有信心；可是突然之间说不定会发生这种事：玛丽亚公爵小姐告诉了她，她一定会微微一笑，回答她说：“真是太奇怪了！他多半是弄错了。难道他不知道他自己是一个什么样的人，是一个普普通通的人嘛！可是我呢？……我则完全不同，我是另一种人，高尚的人。”

①法语：我爱您。

只有这团疑云常常在他的脑海中掠过，他现在也还没有制定任何计划。他似乎觉得眼前的这个幸福是那么不可思议，然而，他只要能够得到它，往后就不再会有什么事了，一切都圆满告终了。

一种令人喜悦的、意外的疯狂支配着皮埃尔，而这种喜悦和疯狂是他从前不认为自己也会有的。人生的全部意义，不仅对于他一个人，而是对整个世界来说，他觉得只在于他的爱情，只在于她能不能爱他，有时候，他觉得所有的人所忙的就只有一件事——就是为他们的未来的幸福而奔忙。有时候，他又觉得，所有的人都同他一样高兴，只不过他们尽力掩饰这种高兴，假装他们的兴趣在其他方面罢了。他把人们的一言一行都看作是对他的幸福所作的暗示。他经常以他那意味深长的自己感到幸福的目光和微笑（似乎他们之间已有默契），使遇见他的人感到吃惊。但是，当他明白了人家可能尚不知道他的幸福的时候，他就十分可怜他们，并且想对他们加以解释，他们所忙碌的一切都只不过是一种不值得注意的无足轻重的一些小事罢了。

当人们建议他出来做点事，或者当人们讨论某种公共的、国家的事情和战争时；人们认为某件事这样或那样的结局将决定大家的幸福的时候，他总是以一种温和的、同情的微笑聆听着，并且发表一些奇谈怪论，使同他说话的人感到惊奇。皮埃尔觉得，那些懂得生命的真正意义的人，也就是懂得他的感情的人，以及那些显然不懂得这一点的人，——在这一时期里，所有的人，他觉得都被他的光辉感情照得通体透亮，不管遇见什么人，他立刻毫不费力地从他们身上看出一切好的值得爱的东西来。

他在处理亡妻的事务和一些文件的时候，除了惋惜她已经永远不可能知道他现在所知道的幸福之外，对亡妻竟然没有丝毫怀念之情。瓦西里公爵现在由于已经谋得一个新官职和获得了几枚勋章，特别骄傲，而在皮埃尔的心目中，他只不过是一个令人感动的、善良的、可怜的老头子。

皮埃尔在后来经常回忆在这一段时间里幸福的狂热。他认为，在这一段时间里所形成的对人们和对环境的一切见解，永远都是正确的。他后来不仅不放弃这些对人和对事物的观点，而且恰恰相反，每当在他的内心产生某种怀疑和产生矛盾的时候，他总是要求助于在那段狂热时期所形成的看法，而这个观点永远都被证明是正确的。

“可能，”他想，“我在当时的确显得有点稀奇和古怪；然而，当时我并不像从表面上看到的那样狂热。正相反，我在当时却比任何时候都更聪明，更能够看清楚一切事情，只要是在生活中值得了解的一切，全都了解了，因为……当时我是幸福的。”

皮埃尔的狂热就在于，他不像以往那样，一定要在他所爱的人身上发现被他称之为人所应当具有的优秀品质的时候，才爱他们，而现在他的内心充满了爱，他在无缘无故地爱人们的时候，他总能找到值得他爱他们的无可争辩的理由。

1 betrothed   

n. 已订婚者 动词betroth的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• She is betrothed to John. 她同约翰订了婚。
• His daughter was betrothed to a teacher. 他的女儿同一个教师订了婚。

2 contemplated   

adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式

参考例句：

• The doctor contemplated the difficult operation he had to perform. 医生仔细地考虑他所要做的棘手的手术。
• The government has contemplated reforming the entire tax system. 政府打算改革整个税收体制。

3 assailed   

v.攻击( assail的过去式和过去分词 )；困扰；质问；毅然应对

参考例句：

• He was assailed with fierce blows to the head. 他的头遭到猛烈殴打。
• He has been assailed by bad breaks all these years. 这些年来他接二连三地倒霉。 来自《用法词典》

4 conceited   

adj.自负的，骄傲自满的

参考例句：

• He could not bear that they should be so conceited.他们这样自高自大他受不了。
• I'm not as conceited as so many people seem to think.我不像很多人认为的那么自负。

5 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

6 beset   

v.镶嵌；困扰，包围

参考例句：

• She wanted to enjoy her retirement without being beset by financial worries.她想享受退休生活而不必为金钱担忧。
• The plan was beset with difficulties from the beginning.这项计划自开始就困难重重。

7 joyful   

adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的

参考例句：

• She was joyful of her good result of the scientific experiments.她为自己的科学实验取得好成果而高兴。
• They were singing and dancing to celebrate this joyful occasion.他们唱着、跳着庆祝这令人欢乐的时刻。

8 frenzy   

n.疯狂，狂热，极度的激动

参考例句：

• He was able to work the young students up into a frenzy.他能激起青年学生的狂热。
• They were singing in a frenzy of joy.他们欣喜若狂地高声歌唱。

9 incapable   

adj.无能力的，不能做某事的

参考例句：

• He would be incapable of committing such a cruel deed.他不会做出这么残忍的事。
• Computers are incapable of creative thought.计算机不会创造性地思维。

10 conceal   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽

参考例句：

• He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方，他只好隐瞒身份。
• He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。

11 allusion   

n.暗示，间接提示

参考例句：

• He made an allusion to a secret plan in his speech.在讲话中他暗示有一项秘密计划。
• She made no allusion to the incident.她没有提及那个事件。

12 commiseration   

n.怜悯，同情

参考例句：

• I offered him my commiseration. 我对他表示同情。
• Self- commiseration brewed in her heart. 她在心里开始自叹命苦。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

13 astounded   

v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶

参考例句：

• His arrogance astounded her. 他的傲慢使她震惊。
• How can you say that? I'm absolutely astounded. 你怎么能说出那种话？我感到大为震惊。

14 conversing   

v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• I find that conversing with her is quite difficult. 和她交谈实在很困难。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• They were conversing in the parlor. 他们正在客厅谈话。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

15 wretches   

n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋

参考例句：

• The little wretches were all bedraggledfrom some roguery. 小淘气们由于恶作剧而弄得脏乎乎的。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The best courage for us poor wretches is to fly from danger. 对我们这些可怜虫说来，最好的出路还是躲避危险。 来自辞典例句

16 belongings   

n.私人物品，私人财物

参考例句：

• I put a few personal belongings in a bag.我把几件私人物品装进包中。
• Your personal belongings are not dutiable.个人物品不用纳税。

17 haughty   

adj.傲慢的，高傲的

参考例句：

• He gave me a haughty look and walked away.他向我摆出傲慢的表情后走开。
• They were displeased with her haughty airs.他们讨厌她高傲的派头。

18 insanity   

n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐

参考例句：

• In his defense he alleged temporary insanity.他伪称一时精神错乱，为自己辩解。
• He remained in his cell,and this visit only increased the belief in his insanity.他依旧还是住在他的地牢里，这次视察只是更加使人相信他是个疯子了。

19 judgments   

判断( judgment的名词复数 )； 鉴定； 评价； 审判

参考例句：

• A peculiar austerity marked his judgments of modern life. 他对现代生活的批评带着一种特殊的苛刻。
• He is swift with his judgments. 他判断迅速。

20 renouncing   

v.声明放弃( renounce的现在分词 )；宣布放弃；宣布与…决裂；宣布摒弃

参考例句：

• He enraged the government by renouncing the agreement. 他否认那项协议，从而激怒了政府。 来自辞典例句
• What do you get for renouncing Taiwan and embracing Beijing instead? 抛弃台湾，并转而拥抱北京之后，你会得到什么？ 来自互联网