Book 15 Chapter 20

FROM THAT FIRST EVENING, when Natasha had said to Princess Marya, with a gaily¹ mocking smile, that he looked exactly, yes, exactly, as if he had come out of a bath with his short jacket and his cropped hair—from that minute something hidden and unrecognised by herself, yet irresistible², awakened³ in Natasha's soul.

Everything—face, gait, eyes, voice—everything was at once transformed in her. To her own surprise, the force of life and hopes of happiness floated to the surface and demanded satisfaction. From that first evening Natasha seemed to have forgotten all that had happened to her. From that time she never once complained of her position; she said not one word about the past, and was not afraid of already making light-hearted plans for the future. She spoke⁴ little of Pierre; but when Princess Marya mentioned him, a light that had long been dim gleamed in her eyes, and her lips curved in a strange smile.

The change that took place in Natasha at first surprised Princess Marya; but when she understood what it meant, that change mortified⁵ her. “Can she have loved my brother so little that she can so soon forget him?” thought Princess Marya, when she thought over it alone. But when she was with Natasha she was not vexed⁶ with her, and did not blame her. The awakened force of life that had regained⁷ possession of Natasha was obviously so irresistible and so unexpected by herself, that in Natasha's presence Princess Marya felt that she had no right to blame her even in her heart.

Natasha gave herself up with such completeness and sincerity⁸ to her new feeling that she did not even attempt to conceal⁹ that she was not now sorrowful, but glad and happy.

When Princess Marya had returned to her room that night after her interview with Pierre, Natasha met her on the threshold.

“He has spoken? Yes? He has spoken?” she repeated. And a joyful¹⁰, and at the same time piteous, expression, that begged forgiveness for its joy, was in Natasha's face. “I wanted to listen at the door; but I knew you would tell me.”

Ready as Princess Marya was to understand and to be touched by the expression with which Natasha looked at her, and much as she felt for her agitation¹¹, yet her words for the first moment mortified her. She thought of her brother and his love.

“But what is one to do? She cannot help it,” thought Princess Marya; and with a sad and somewhat severe face she repeated to Natasha all Pierre had said to her. Natasha was stupefied to hear he was going to Petersburg. “To Petersburg!” she repeated, as though unable to take it in.

But looking at the mournful expression of Princess Marya's face she divined the cause of her sadness, and suddenly burst into tears.

“Marie,” she said, “tell me what I am to do. I am afraid of being horrid¹². Whatever you say, I will do; tell me …”

“You love him?”

“Yes!” whispered Natasha.

“What are you crying for, then? I am very glad for you,” said Princess Marya, moved by those tears to complete forgiveness of Natasha's joy.

“It will not be soon … some day. Only think how happy it will be when I am his wife and you marry Nikolay!”

“Natasha, I have begged you not to speak of that. Let us talk of you.”

Both were silent.

“Only why go to Petersburg?” cried Natasha suddenly, and she hastened to answer herself. “No, no; it must be so … Yes, Marie? It must be …”

自从皮埃尔走后的那第一个晚上，当娜塔莎带着一种快乐的、讥讽的微笑对玛丽亚公爵小姐说，他真的像是刚从浴室内走出来一样，穿着常礼服，头发剪得短短的，从这一刻起，在娜塔莎的心中却有某一种隐蔽的，甚至连她自己本身也莫明其妙的，又难以克制的东西苏醒了。

所有的一切：面孔、脚步、目光、声音——她的所有的一切，突然间都完全改变了。就连她自身也感到意外的东西——生命的力量以及对幸福的渴望，都浮升到表面上来了，而且渴望予以满足。从第一天晚上起，娜塔莎好像把她自己以往的所有的一切都忘得一干二净了。她从此之后，没有一次埋怨过自己的处境，她对过去哪怕是一个字也从不提及，她已经不害怕制订未来的美好的计划了。她很难得谈到皮埃尔，每当玛丽亚公爵小姐提起他时，在她的眼睛里久已熄灭了的那种亮光又重新燃烧起来了，她的嘴唇咧着独特的微笑。

在娜塔莎身上所发生的变化最初使玛丽亚公爵小姐感到吃惊；但当她明白了这种变化的意义时，这一变化使她感到痛心。“难道她对我哥哥的爱情就那么淡漠，这样快就把他给忘掉了。”当玛丽亚公爵小姐独自一人在忖度娜塔莎所发生的这种改变时，她在内心里这样想。但是，当她和娜塔莎在一起的时候，她并不生的气，也不责备她。在娜塔莎身上洋溢着的一种复苏的生命力，十分明显地，是无法遏止的，对于玛丽亚公爵小姐来说，却是完全出乎意料之外，以致使她在娜塔莎的面前觉得她没有任何权利哪怕是只在内心里去责怪她。

娜塔莎以全部身心和所有的真诚沉湎于这一新的感情之中，她并不想掩饰它，她现在没有悲哀，而只有高兴和快乐。

那天夜间，当玛丽亚公爵小姐和皮埃尔谈过话之后回自己的房间时，娜塔莎在房门口迎着她。

“他说了？是吗？他说了？”她翻来覆去地说道。娜塔莎脸上露出欢喜的、同时又是怪可怜的、为这种欢喜请求原谅的表情。

“我原本想在门口听的；但是，我知道你一定会告诉我。”

对于娜塔莎看她的那种眼神，尽管玛丽亚公爵小姐已经非常理解，已经非常感动；尽管娜塔莎那激动的样子确实令人同情；然而，娜塔莎所说的话，在最初的一刹那间仍然使玛丽亚公爵小姐感到屈辱。她想起了哥哥，想起了他的爱情。

“可是有什么办法呢！她不能不这样，”玛丽亚公爵小姐想；于是她带着忧郁的、有几分严肃的表情，把皮埃尔对她说的话全都告诉了娜塔莎。听说皮埃尔要动身去彼得堡；娜塔莎吃了一惊。

“去彼得堡！”她重复说，似乎没有听懂似的。但是当她一看玛丽亚公爵小姐脸上忧郁的神情，就猜到了她难过的原因，她突然哭了起来。“玛丽，”她说，“告诉我，我应当怎么办：我生怕会做出傻事来；你告诉我该怎么办我就怎么办；告诉我吧……”

“你爱他吗？”

“爱。”娜塔莎细声说。

“那你哭什么？我为你高兴。”玛丽亚公爵小姐说，由于她流了泪，她已经原谅了娜塔莎的快乐了。

“这不会很快了，总有这么一天。你想一想，我做了他的妻子，你嫁给尼古拉，那该是多幸福啊！”

“娜塔莎，我不是求你别谈这个吗？咱们只谈你的事。”

她们沉默了一会儿。

“不过他为什么要去彼得堡！”娜塔莎说，她连忙自己作出了回答：“不，不，应该去……玛丽，你说是吗？应该去……”

1 gaily   

adv.欢乐地，高兴地

参考例句：

• The children sing gaily.孩子们欢唱着。
• She waved goodbye very gaily.她欢快地挥手告别。

2 irresistible   

adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的

参考例句：

• The wheel of history rolls forward with an irresistible force.历史车轮滚滚向前，势不可挡。
• She saw an irresistible skirt in the store window.她看见商店的橱窗里有一条叫人着迷的裙子。

3 awakened   

v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到

参考例句：

• She awakened to the sound of birds singing. 她醒来听到鸟的叫声。
• The public has been awakened to the full horror of the situation. 公众完全意识到了这一状况的可怕程度。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

5 mortified   

v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等）

参考例句：

• She was mortified to realize he had heard every word she said. 她意识到自己的每句话都被他听到了，直羞得无地自容。
• The knowledge of future evils mortified the present felicities. 对未来苦难的了解压抑了目前的喜悦。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 vexed   

adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论

参考例句：

• The conference spent days discussing the vexed question of border controls. 会议花了几天的时间讨论边境关卡这个难题。
• He was vexed at his failure. 他因失败而懊恼。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

7 regained   

复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 )； 赢回； 重回； 复至某地

参考例句：

• The majority of the people in the world have regained their liberty. 世界上大多数人已重获自由。
• She hesitated briefly but quickly regained her poise. 她犹豫片刻，但很快恢复了镇静。

8 sincerity   

n.真诚，诚意；真实

参考例句：

• His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
• He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。

9 conceal   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽

参考例句：

• He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方，他只好隐瞒身份。
• He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。

10 joyful   

adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的

参考例句：

• She was joyful of her good result of the scientific experiments.她为自己的科学实验取得好成果而高兴。
• They were singing and dancing to celebrate this joyful occasion.他们唱着、跳着庆祝这令人欢乐的时刻。

11 agitation   

n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动

参考例句：

• Small shopkeepers carried on a long agitation against the big department stores.小店主们长期以来一直在煽动人们反对大型百货商店。
• These materials require constant agitation to keep them in suspension.这些药剂要经常搅动以保持悬浮状态。

12 horrid   

adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的

参考例句：

• I'm not going to the horrid dinner party.我不打算去参加这次讨厌的宴会。
• The medicine is horrid and she couldn't get it down.这种药很难吃，她咽不下去。