"This is the south terrace," Anna said. "Should you like towalk down to the river?"She seemed to listen to herself speaking from a far-off airyheight, and yet to be wholly gathered into the circle ofconsciousness which drew its glowing ring about herself andDarrow. To the aerial listener her words sounded flat andcolourless, but to the self within the ring each one beatwith a separate heart.
It was the day after Darrow's arrival, and he had come downearly, drawn1 by the sweetness of the light on the lawns andgardens below his window. Anna had heard the echo of hisstep on the stairs, his pause in the stone- flagged hall,his voice as he asked a servant where to find her. She wasat the end of the house, in the brown-panelled sitting-roomwhich she frequented at that season because it caught thesunlight first and kept it longest. She stood near thewindow, in the pale band of brightness, arranging somesalmon-pink geraniums in a shallow porcelain3 bowl. Everysensation of touch and sight was thrice-alive in her. Thegrey- green fur of the geranium leaves caressed5 her fingersand the sunlight wavering across the irregular surface ofthe old parquet6 floor made it seem as bright and shifting asthe brown bed of a stream.
Darrow stood framed in the door-way of the farthest drawing-room, a light-grey figure against the black and whiteflagging of the hall; then he began to move toward her downthe empty pale-panelled vista7, crossing one after anotherthe long reflections which a projecting cabinet or screencast here and there upon the shining floors.
As he drew nearer, his figure was suddenly displaced by thatof her husband, whom, from the same point, she had so oftenseen advancing down the same perspective. Straight, spare,erect, looking to right and left with quick precise turns ofthe head, and stopping now and then to straighten a chair oralter the position of a vase, Fraser Leath used to marchtoward her through the double file of furniture like ageneral reviewing a regiment8 drawn up for his inspection9.
At a certain point, midway across the second room, he alwaysstopped before the mantel-piece of pinkish-yellow marble andlooked at himself in the tall garlanded glass thatsurmounted it. She could not remember that he had everfound anything to straighten or alter in his own studiedattire, but she had never known him to omit the inspectionwhen he passed that particular mirror.
When it was over he continued more briskly on his way, andthe resulting expression of satisfaction was still on hisface when he entered the oak sitting-room2 to greet hiswife...
The spectral10 projection11 of this little daily scene hung butfor a moment before Anna, but in that moment she had time tofling a wondering glance across the distance between herpast and present. Then the footsteps of the present cameclose, and she had to drop the geraniums to give her hand toDarrow...
"Yes, let us walk down to the river."They had neither of them, as yet, found much to say to eachother. Darrow had arrived late on the previous afternoon,and during the evening they had had between them Owen Leathand their own thoughts. Now they were alone for the firsttime and the fact was enough in itself. Yet Anna wasintensely aware that as soon as they began to talk moreintimately they would feel that they knew each other lesswell.
They passed out onto the terrace and down the steps to thegravel walk below. The delicate frosting of dew gave thegrass a bluish shimmer12, and the sunlight, sliding in emeraldstreaks along the tree-boles, gathered itself into greatluminous blurs13 at the end of the wood-walks, and hung abovethe fields a watery14 glory like the ring about an autumnmoon.
"It's good to be here," Darrow said.
They took a turn to the left and stopped for a moment tolook back at the long pink house-front, plainer, friendlier,less adorned15 than on the side toward the court. Soprolonged yet delicate had been the friction16 of time uponits bricks that certain expanses had the bloom and textureof old red velvet17, and the patches of gold lichen18 spreadingover them looked like the last traces of a dim embroidery19.
The dome20 of the chapel21, with its gilded22 cross, rose aboveone wing, and the other ended in a conical pigeon-house,above which the birds were flying, lustrous23 and slatey,their breasts merged24 in the blue of the roof when theydropped down on it.
"And this is where you've been all these years."They turned away and began to walk down a long tunnel ofyellowing trees. Benches with mossy feet stood against themossy edges of the path, and at its farther end it widenedinto a circle about a basin rimmed25 with stone, in which theopaque water strewn with leaves looked like a slab26 of gold-flecked agate27. The path, growing narrower, wound oncircuitously through the woods, between slender serriedtrunks twined with ivy28. Patches of blue appeared above themthrough the dwindling29 leaves, and presently the trees drewback and showed the open fields along the river.
They walked on across the fields to the tow-path. In acurve of the wall some steps led up to a crumbling30 pavilionwith openings choked with ivy. Anna and Darrow seatedthemselves on the bench projecting from the inner wall ofthe pavilion and looked across the river at the slopesdivided into blocks of green and fawn-colour, and at thechalk-tinted village lifting its squat31 church-tower and greyroofs against the precisely32 drawn lines of the landscape.
Anna sat silent, so intensely aware of Darrow's nearnessthat there was no surprise in the touch he laid on her hand.
They looked at each other, and he smiled and said: "Thereare to be no more obstacles now.""Obstacles?" The word startled her. "What obstacles?""Don't you remember the wording of the telegram that turnedme back last May? 'Unforeseen obstacle': that was it. Whatwas the earth-shaking problem, by the way? Finding agoverness for Effie, wasn't it?""But I gave you my reason: the reason why it was anobstacle. I wrote you fully33 about it.""Yes, I know you did." He lifted her hand and kissed it.
"How far off it all seems, and how little it all matterstoday!"She looked at him quickly. "Do you feel that? I suppose I'mdifferent. I want to draw all those wasted months intotoday--to make them a part of it.""But they are, to me. You reach back and take everything--back to the first days of all."She frowned a little, as if struggling with an inarticulateperplexity. "It's curious how, in those first days, too,something that I didn't understand came between us.""Oh, in those days we neither of us understood, did we? It'spart of what's called the bliss34 of being young.""Yes, I thought that, too: thought it, I mean, in lookingback. But it couldn't, even then, have been as true of youas of me; and now----""Now," he said, "the only thing that matters is that we'resitting here together."He dismissed the rest with a lightness that might haveseemed conclusive35 evidence of her power over him. But shetook no pride in such triumphs. It seemed to her that shewanted his allegiance and his adoration36 not so much forherself as for their mutual37 love, and that in treatinglightly any past phase of their relation he took somethingfrom its present beauty. The colour rose to her face.
"Between you and me everything matters.""Of course!" She felt the unperceiving sweetness of hissmile. "That's why," he went on, "'everything,' for me, ishere and now: on this bench, between you and me."She caught at the phrase. "That's what I meant: it's hereand now; we can't get away from it.""Get away from it? Do you want to? AGAIN?"Her heart was beating unsteadily. Something in her,fitfully and with reluctance39, struggled to free itself, butthe warmth of his nearness penetrated40 every sense as thesunlight steeped the landscape. Then, suddenly, she feltthat she wanted no less than the whole of her happiness.
"'Again'? But wasn't it YOU, the last time----?"She paused, the tremor41 in her of Psyche42 holding up the lamp.
But in the interrogative light of her pause her companion'sfeatures underwent no change.
"The last time? Last spring? But it was you who--for thebest of reasons, as you've told me--turned me back from yourvery door last spring!"She saw that he was good-humouredly ready to "thresh out,"for her sentimental43 satisfaction, a question which, for hisown, Time had so conclusively44 dealt with; and the sense ofhis readiness reassured45 her.
"I wrote as soon as I could," she rejoined. "I explainedthe delay and asked you to come. And you never evenanswered my letter.""It was impossible to come then. I had to go back to mypost.""And impossible to write and tell me so?""Your letter was a long time coming. I had waited a week--ten days. I had some excuse for thinking, when it came,that you were in no great hurry for an answer.""You thought that--really--after reading it?""I thought it."Her heart leaped up to her throat. "Then why are you heretoday?"He turned on her with a quick look of wonder. "God knows--if you can ask me that!""You see I was right to say I didn't understand."He stood up abruptly46 and stood facing her, blocking the viewover the river and the checkered47 slopes. "Perhaps I mightsay so too.""No, no: we must neither of us have any reason for saying itagain." She looked at him gravely. "Surely you and Ineedn't arrange the lights before we show ourselves to eachother. I want you to see me just as I am, with all myirrational doubts and scruples48; the old ones and the newones too."He came back to his seat beside her. "Never mind the oldones. They were justified--I'm willing to admit it. Withthe governess having suddenly to be packed off, and Effie onyour hands, and your mother-in-law ill, I see theimpossibility of your letting me come. I even see that, atthe moment, it was difficult to write and explain. But whatdoes all that matter now? The new scruples are the ones Iwant to tackle."Again her heart trembled. She felt her happiness so near,so sure, that to strain it closer might be like a child'scrushing a pet bird in its caress4. But her very securityurged her on. For so long her doubts had been knife-edged:
now they had turned into bright harmless toys that she couldtoss and catch without peril49!
"You didn't come, and you didn't answer my letter; and afterwaiting four months I wrote another.""And I answered that one; and I'm here.""Yes." She held his eyes. "But in my last letter I repeatedexactly what I'd said in the first--the one I wrote you lastJune. I told you then that I was ready to give you theanswer to what you'd asked me in London; and in telling youthat, I told you what the answer was.""My dearest! My dearest!" Darrow murmured.
"You ignored that letter. All summer you made no sign. Andall I ask now is, that you should frankly50 tell me why.""I can only repeat what I've just said. I was hurt andunhappy and I doubted you. I suppose if I'd cared less Ishould have been more confident. I cared so much that Icouldn't risk another failure. For you'd made me feel thatI'd miserably51 failed. So I shut my eyes and set my teethand turned my back. There's the whole pusillanimous52 truthof it!""Oh, if it's the WHOLE truth!----" She let him claspher. "There's my torment53, you see. I thought that was whatyour silence meant till I made you break it. Now I want tobe sure that I was right.""What can I tell you to make you sure?""You can let me tell YOU everything first." She drewaway, but without taking her hands from him. "Owen saw youin Paris," she began.
She looked at him and he faced her steadily38. The light wasfull on his pleasantly-browned face, his grey eyes, hisfrank white forehead. She noticed for the first time aseal-ring in a setting of twisted silver on the hand he hadkept on hers.
"In Paris? Oh, yes...So he did.""He came back and told me. I think you talked to him amoment in a theatre. I asked if you'd spoken of my havingput you off--or if you'd sent me any message. He didn'tremember that you had.""In a crush--in a Paris foyer? My dear!""It was absurd of me! But Owen and I have always been on oddkind of brother-and-sister terms. I think he guessed aboutus when he saw you with me in London. So he teased me alittle and tried to make me curious about you; and when hesaw he'd succeeded he told me he hadn't had time to say muchto you because you were in such a hurry to get back to thelady you were with."He still held her hands, but she felt no tremor in his, andthe blood did not stir in his brown cheek. He seemed to behonestly turning over his memories.
"Yes: and what else did he tell you?""Oh, not much, except that she was awfully54 pretty. When Iasked him to describe her he said you had her tucked away ina baignoire and he hadn't actually seen her; but he saw thetail of her cloak, and somehow knew from that that she waspretty. One DOES, you know...I think he said the cloakwas pink."Darrow broke into a laugh. "Of course it was--they alwaysare! So that was at the bottom of your doubts?""Not at first. I only laughed. But afterward55, when I wroteyou and you didn't answer----Oh, you DO see?" sheappealed to him.
He was looking at her gently. "Yes: I see.""It's not as if this were a light thing between us. I wantyou to know me as I am. If I thought that at thatmoment...when you were on your way here, almost----"He dropped her hand and stood up. "Yes, yes--I understand.""But do you?" Her look followed him. "I'm not a goose of agirl. I know...of course I KNOW...but there are thingsa woman feels...when what she knows doesn't make anydifference. It's not that I want you to explain--I meanabout that particular evening. It's only that I want you tohave the whole of my feeling. I didn't know what it wastill I saw you again. I never dreamed I should say suchthings to you!""I never dreamed I should be here to hear you say them!" Heturned back and lifting a floating end of her scarf put hislips to it. "But now that you have, I know--I know," hesmiled down at her.
"You know?""That this is no light thing between us. Now you may ask meanything you please! That was all I wanted to ask YOU."For a long moment they looked at each other withoutspeaking. She saw the dancing spirit in his eyes turn graveand darken to a passionate56 sternness. He stooped and kissedher, and she sat as if folded in wings.
收听单词发音 |
1
drawn
|
|
| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
sitting-room
|
|
| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
porcelain
|
|
| n.瓷；adj.瓷的，瓷制的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
caress
|
|
| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
caressed
|
|
| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
parquet
|
|
| n.镶木地板 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
vista
|
|
| n.远景，深景，展望，回想 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
regiment
|
|
| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
inspection
|
|
| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
spectral
|
|
| adj.幽灵的，鬼魂的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
projection
|
|
| n.发射，计划，突出部分 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
shimmer
|
|
| v./n.发微光，发闪光；微光 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
blurs
|
|
| n.模糊( blur的名词复数 )；模糊之物；（移动的）模糊形状；模糊的记忆v.（使）变模糊( blur的第三人称单数 )；（使）难以区分 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
watery
|
|
| adj.有水的，水汪汪的；湿的，湿润的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
adorned
|
|
| [计]被修饰的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
friction
|
|
| n.摩擦，摩擦力 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
velvet
|
|
| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
lichen
|
|
| n.地衣, 青苔 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
embroidery
|
|
| n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
dome
|
|
| n.圆屋顶，拱顶 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
chapel
|
|
| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
gilded
|
|
| a.镀金的，富有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
lustrous
|
|
| adj.有光泽的；光辉的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
merged
|
|
| （使）混合( merge的过去式和过去分词 )； 相融； 融入； 渐渐消失在某物中 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
rimmed
|
|
| adj.有边缘的，有框的v.沿…边缘滚动；给…镶边 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
slab
|
|
| n.平板，厚的切片；v.切成厚板，以平板盖上 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
agate
|
|
| n.玛瑙 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
ivy
|
|
| n.常青藤，常春藤 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
dwindling
|
|
| adj.逐渐减少的v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
crumbling
|
|
| adj.摇摇欲坠的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
squat
|
|
| v.蹲坐，蹲下；n.蹲下；adj.矮胖的，粗矮的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
precisely
|
|
| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
fully
|
|
| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
bliss
|
|
| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
conclusive
|
|
| adj.最后的，结论的；确凿的，消除怀疑的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
adoration
|
|
| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
mutual
|
|
| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
steadily
|
|
| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
reluctance
|
|
| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
penetrated
|
|
| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
tremor
|
|
| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
psyche
|
|
| n.精神；灵魂 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
sentimental
|
|
| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
conclusively
|
|
| adv.令人信服地，确凿地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
reassured
|
|
| adj.使消除疑虑的；使放心的v.再保证，恢复信心( reassure的过去式和过去分词) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
abruptly
|
|
| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
checkered
|
|
| adj.有方格图案的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
scruples
|
|
| n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 )；顾虑，顾忌v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
peril
|
|
| n.(严重的)危险；危险的事物 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
frankly
|
|
| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
miserably
|
|
| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
pusillanimous
|
|
| adj.懦弱的，胆怯的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
torment
|
|
| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
awfully
|
|
| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
afterward
|
|
| adv.后来；以后 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
passionate
|
|
| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |