OF some new ferment1 at work in him Nick Lansing himself wasequally aware. He was a better judge of the book he was tryingto write than either Susy or Strefford; he knew its weaknesses,its treacheries, its tendency to slip through his fingers justas he thought his grasp tightest; but he knew also that at thevery moment when it seemed to have failed him it would suddenlybe back, beating its loud wings in his face.
He had no delusions2 as to its commercial value, and had wincedmore than he triumphed when Susy produced her allusion3 toMarius. His book was to be called The Pageant4 of Alexander.
His imagination had been enchanted5 by the idea of picturing theyoung conqueror's advance through the fabulous6 landscapes ofAsia: he liked writing descriptions, and vaguely7 felt thatunder the guise8 of fiction he could develop his theory ofOriental influences in Western art at the expense of lesslearning than if he had tried to put his ideas into an essay.
He knew enough of his subject to know that he did not knowenough to write about it; but he consoled himself by rememberingthat Wilhelm Meister has survived many weighty volumes onaesthetics; and between his moments of self-disgust he tookhimself at Susy's valuation, and found an unmixed joy in histask.
Never--no, never!--had he been so boundlessly10, so confidentlyhappy. His hack-work had given him the habit of application,and now habit wore the glow of inspiration. His previousliterary ventures had been timid and tentative: if this one wasgrowing and strengthening on his hands, it must be because theconditions were so different. He was at ease, he was secure, hewas satisfied; and he had also, for the first time since hisearly youth, before his mother's death, the sense of having someone to look after, some one who was his own particular care, andto whom he was answerable for himself and his actions, as he hadnever felt himself answerable to the hurried and indifferentpeople among whom he had chosen to live.
Susy had the same standards as these people: she spoke11 theirlanguage, though she understood others, she required theirpleasures if she did not revere12 their gods. But from the momentthat she had become his property he had built up in himself aconception of her answering to some deep-seated need ofveneration. She was his, he had chosen her, she had taken herplace in the long line of Lansing women who had been loved,honoured, and probably deceived, by bygone Lansing men. Hedidn't pretend to understand the logic13 of it; but the fact thatshe was his wife gave purpose and continuity to his scatteredimpulses, and a mysterious glow of consecration14 to his task.
Once or twice, in the first days of his marriage, he had askedhimself with a slight shiver what would happen if Susy shouldbegin to bore him. The thing had happened to him with otherwomen as to whom his first emotions had not differed inintensity from those she inspired. The part he had played inhis previous love-affairs might indeed have been summed up inthe memorable15 line: "I am the hunter and the prey," for he hadinvariably ceased to be the first only to regard himself as thesecond. This experience had never ceased to cause him theliveliest pain, since his sympathy for his pursuer was only lesskeen than his commiseration16 for himself; but as he was always alittle sorrier for himself, he had always ended by distancingthe pursuer.
All these pre-natal experiences now seemed utterly17 inapplicableto the new man he had become. He could not imagine being boredby Susy--or trying to escape from her if he were. He could notthink of her as an enemy, or even as an accomplice18, sinceaccomplices are potential enemies: she was some one with whom,by some unheard-of miracle, joys above the joys of friendshipwere to be tasted, but who, even through these fleetingecstasies, remained simply and securely his friend.
These new feelings did not affect his general attitude towardlife: they merely confirmed his faith in its ultimate"jolliness." Never had he more thoroughly19 enjoyed the things hehad always enjoyed. A good dinner had never been as good tohim, a beautiful sunset as beautiful; he still rejoiced in thefact that he appreciated both with an equal acuity20. He was asproud as ever of Susy's cleverness and freedom from prejudice:
she couldn't be too "modern" for him now that she was his. Heshared to the full her passionate21 enjoyment22 of the present, andall her feverish23 eagerness to make it last. He knew when shewas thinking of ways of extending their golden opportunity, andhe secretly thought with her, wondering what new means theycould devise. He was thankful that Ellie Vanderlyn was stillabsent, and began to hope they might have the palace tothemselves for the remainder of the summer. If they did, hewould have time to finish his book, and Susy to lay up a littleinterest on their wedding cheques; and thus their enchanted yearmight conceivably be prolonged to two.
Late as the season was, their presence and Strefford's in Venicehad already drawn24 thither25 several wandering members of theirset. It was characteristic of these indifferent butagglutinative people that they could never remain long partedfrom each other without a dim sense of uneasiness. Lansing wasfamiliar with the feeling. He had known slight twinges of ithimself, and had often ministered to its qualms26 in others. Itwas hardly stronger than the faint gnawing27 which recalls thetea-hour to one who has lunched well and is sure of dining asabundantly; but it gave a purpose to the purposeless, and helpedmany hesitating spirits over the annual difficulty of decidingbetween Deauville and St. Moritz, Biarritz and Capri.
Nick was not surprised to learn that it was becoming thefashion, that summer, to pop down to Venice and take a look atthe Lansings. Streffy had set the example, and Streffy'sexample was always followed. And then Susy's marriage was stilla subject of sympathetic speculation28. People knew the story ofthe wedding cheques, and were interested in seeing how long theycould be made to last. It was going to be the thing, that year,to help prolong the honey-moon by pressing houses on theadventurous couple. Before June was over a band of friends werebasking with the Lansings on the Lido.
Nick found himself unexpectedly disturbed by their arrival. Toavoid comment and banter29 he put his book aside and forbade Susyto speak of it, explaining to her that he needed an interval30 ofrest. His wife instantly and exaggeratedly adopted this view,guarding him from the temptation to work as jealously as she haddiscouraged him from idling; and he was careful not to let herfind out that the change in his habits coincided with his havingreached a difficult point in his book. But though he was notsorry to stop writing he found himself unexpectedly oppressed bythe weight of his leisure. For the first time communal31 dawdlinghad lost its charm for him; not because his fellow dawdlers wereless congenial than of old, but because in the interval he hadknown something so immeasurably better. He had always felthimself to be the superior of his habitual32 associates, but nowthe advantage was too great: really, in a sense, it was hardlyfair to them.
He had flattered himself that Susy would share this feeling; buthe perceived with annoyance33 that the arrival of their friendsheightened her animation34. It was as if the inward glow whichhad given her a new beauty were now refracted upon her by thepresence of the very people they had come to Venice to avoid.
Lansing was vaguely irritated; and when he asked her how sheliked being with their old crowd again his irritation35 wasincreased by her answering with a laugh that she only hoped thepoor dears didn't see too plainly how they bored her. Thepatent insincerity of the reply was a shock to Lansing. He knewthat Susy was not really bored, and he understood that she hadsimply guessed his feelings and instinctively36 adopted them:
that henceforth she was always going to think as he thought. Toconfirm this fear he said carelessly: "Oh, all the same, it'srather jolly knocking about with them again for a bit;" and sheanswered at once, and with equal conviction: "Yes, isn't it?
The old darlings--all the same!"A fear of the future again laid its cold touch on Lansing.
Susy's independence and self-sufficiency had been among herchief attractions; if she were to turn into an echo theirdelicious duet ran the risk of becoming the dullest ofmonologues. He forgot that five minutes earlier he had resentedher being glad to see their friends, and for a moment he foundhimself leaning dizzily over that insoluble riddle37 of thesentimental life: that to be differed with is exasperating38, andto be agreed with monotonous39.
Once more he began to wonder if he were not fundamentallyunfitted for the married state; and was saved from despair onlyby remembering that Susy's subjection to his moods was notlikely to last. But even then it never occurred to him toreflect that his apprehensions40 were superfluous41, since their tiewas avowedly42 a temporary one. Of the special understanding onwhich their marriage had been based not a trace remained in histhoughts of her; the idea that he or she might ever renounceeach other for their mutual45 good had long since dwindled46 to theghost of an old joke.
It was borne in on him, after a week or two of unbrokensociability, that of all his old friends it was the MortimerHickses who bored him the least. The Hickses had left the Ibisfor an apartment in a vast dilapidated palace near theCanareggio. They had hired the apartment from a painter (one oftheir newest discoveries), and they put up philosophically47 withthe absence of modern conveniences in order to secure theinestimable advantage of "atmosphere." In this privileged airthey gathered about them their usual mixed company of quietstudious people and noisy exponents48 of new theories, themselvestotally unconscious of the disparity between their differentguests, and beamingly convinced that at last they were seated atthe source of wisdom.
In old days Lansing would have got half an hour's amusement,followed by a long evening of boredom49, from the sight of Mrs.
Hicks, vast and jewelled, seated between a quiet-lookingprofessor of archaeology50 and a large-browed composer, or thehigh priest of a new dance-step, while Mr. Hicks, beaming abovehis vast white waistcoat, saw to it that the champagne51 flowedmore abundantly than the talk, and the bright young secretariesindustriously "kept up" with the dizzy cross-current of prophecyand erudition. But a change had come over Lansing. Hitherto itwas in contrast to his own friends that the Hickses had seemedmost insufferable; now it was as an escape from these samefriends that they had become not only sympathetic but eveninteresting. It was something, after all, to be with people whodid not regard Venice simply as affording exceptionalopportunities for bathing and adultery, but who were reverentlyif confusedly aware that they were in the presence of somethingunique and ineffable52, and determined53 to make the utmost of theirprivilege.
"After all," he said to himself one evening, as his eyeswandered, with somewhat of a convalescent's simple joy, from oneto another of their large confiding54 faces, "after all, they'vegot a religion ...." The phrase struck him, in the moment ofusing it, as indicating a new element in his own state of mind,and as being, in fact, the key to his new feeling about theHickses. Their muddled55 ardour for great things was related tohis own new view of the universe: the people who felt, howeverdimly, the wonder and weight of life must ever after be nearerto him than those to whom it was estimated solely56 by one'sbalance at the bank. He supposed, on reflexion, that that waswhat he meant when he thought of the Hickses as having "areligion" ....
A few days later, his well-being57 was unexpectedly disturbed bythe arrival of Fred Gillow. Lansing had always felt a tolerantliking for Gillow, a large smiling silent young man with anintense and serious desire to miss nothing attainable58 by one ofhis fortune and standing43. What use he made of his experiences,Lansing, who had always gone into his own modest adventuresrather thoroughly, had never been able to guess; but he hadalways suspected the prodigal59 Fred of being no more than a well-disguised looker-on. Now for the first time he began to viewhim with another eye. The Gillows were, in fact, the one uneasypoint in Nick's conscience. He and Susy from the first, hadtalked of them less than of any other members of their group:
they had tacitly avoided the name from the day on which Susy hadcome to Lansing's lodgings60 to say that Ursula Gillow had askedher to renounce44 him, till that other day, just before theirmarriage, when she had met him with the rapturous cry: "Here'sour first wedding present! Such a thumping61 big cheque from Fredand Ursula!"Plenty of sympathizing people were ready, Lansing knew, to tellhim just what had happened in the interval between those twodates; but he had taken care not to ask. He had even affectedan initiation62 so complete that the friends who burned toenlighten him were discouraged by his so obviously knowing morethan they; and gradually he had worked himself around to theirview, and had taken it for granted that he really did.
Now he perceived that he knew nothing at all, and that the"Hullo, old Fred!" with which Susy hailed Gillow's arrival mightbe either the usual tribal63 welcome--since they were all "old,"and all nicknamed, in their private jargon--or a greeting thatconcealed inscrutable depths of complicity.
Susy was visibly glad to see Gillow; but she was glad ofeverything just then, and so glad to show her gladness! Thefact disarmed64 her husband and made him ashamed of hisuneasiness. "You ought to have thought this all out sooner, orelse you ought to chuck thinking of it at all," was the soundbut ineffectual advice he gave himself on the day after Gillow'sarrival; and immediately set to work to rethink the wholematter.
Fred Gillow showed no consciousness of disturbing any one'speace of mind. Day after day he sprawled65 for hours on the Lidosands, his arms folded under his head, listening to Streffy'snonsense and watching Susy between sleepy lids; but he betrayedno desire to see her alone, or to draw her into talk apart fromthe others. More than ever he seemed content to be thegratified spectator of a costly66 show got up for his privateentertainment. It was not until he heard her, one morning,grumble a little at the increasing heat and the menace ofmosquitoes, that he said, quite as if they had talked the matterover long before, and finally settled it: "The moor67 will beready any time after the first of August."Nick fancied that Susy coloured a little, and drew herself upmore defiantly68 than usual as she sent a pebble69 skimming acrossthe dying ripples70 at their feet.
"You'll be a lot cooler in Scotland," Fred added, with what, forhim, was an unusual effort at explicitness71.
"Oh, shall we?" she retorted gaily72; and added with an air ofmystery and importance, pivoting73 about on her high heels:
"Nick's got work to do here. It will probably keep us allsummer.""Work? Rot! You'll die of the smells." Gillow staredperplexedly skyward from under his tilted74 hat-brim; and thenbrought out, as from the depth of a rankling75 grievance76: "Ithought it was all understood.""Why," Nick asked his wife that night, as they re-enteredEllie's cool drawing-room after a late dinner at the Lido, "didGillow think it was understood that we were going to his moor inAugust?" He was conscious of the oddness of speaking of theirfriend by his surname, and reddened at his blunder.
Susy had let her lace cloak slide to her feet, and stood beforehim in the faintly-lit room, slim and shimmering-white throughblack transparencies.
She raised her eyebrows77 carelessly. "I told you long ago he'dasked us there for August.""You didn't tell me you'd accepted."She smiled as if he had said something as simple as Fred. "Iaccepted everything--from everybody!"What could he answer? It was the very principle on which theirbargain had been struck. And if he were to say: "Ah, but thisis different, because I'm jealous of Gillow," what light wouldsuch an answer shed on his past? The time for being jealous-ifso antiquated78 an attitude were on any ground defensible-wouldhave been before his marriage, and before the acceptance of thebounties which had helped to make it possible. He wondered alittle now that in those days such scruples79 had not troubledhim. His inconsistency irritated him, and increased hisirritation against Gillow. "I suppose he thinks he owns us!" hegrumbled inwardly.
He had thrown himself into an armchair, and Susy, advancingacross the shining arabesques80 of the floor, slid down at hisfeet, pressed her slender length against him, and whispered withlifted face and lips close to his: "We needn't ever go anywhereyou don't want to." For once her submission81 was sweet, andfolding her close he whispered back through his kiss: "Notthere, then."In her response to his embrace he felt the acquiescence82 of herwhole happy self in whatever future he decided83 on, if only itgave them enough of such moments as this; and as they held eachother fast in silence his doubts and distrust began to seem likea silly injustice84.
"Let us stay here as long as ever Ellie will let us," he said,as if the shadowy walls and shining floors were a magic boundarydrawn about his happiness.
She murmured her assent85 and stood up, stretching her sleepy armabove her shoulders. "How dreadfully late it is .... Will youunhook me? ... Oh, there's a telegram."She picked it up from the table, and tearing it open stared amoment at the message. "It's from Ellie. She's coming to-morrow."She turned to the window and strayed out onto the balcony. Nickfollowed her with enlacing arm. The canal below them lay inmoonless shadow, barred with a few lingering lights. A lastsnatch of gondola-music came from far off, carried upward on asultry gust9.
"Dear old Ellie. All the same ... I wish all this belonged toyou and me." Susy sighed.
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ferment
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| vt.使发酵；n./vt.（使）激动，（使）动乱 | |
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delusions
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| n.欺骗( delusion的名词复数 )；谬见；错觉；妄想 | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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pageant
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| n.壮观的游行；露天历史剧 | |
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enchanted
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| adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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fabulous
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| adj.极好的；极为巨大的；寓言中的，传说中的 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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guise
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| n.外表，伪装的姿态 | |
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gust
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| n.阵风，突然一阵（雨、烟等），（感情的）迸发 | |
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boundlessly
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| adv.无穷地，无限地 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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revere
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| vt.尊崇，崇敬，敬畏 | |
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logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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consecration
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| n.供献，奉献，献祭仪式 | |
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memorable
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| adj.值得回忆的，难忘的，特别的，显著的 | |
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commiseration
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| n.怜悯，同情 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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accomplice
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| n.从犯，帮凶，同谋 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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acuity
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| n.敏锐，（疾病的）剧烈 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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qualms
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| n.不安；内疚 | |
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gnawing
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| a.痛苦的，折磨人的 | |
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speculation
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| n.思索，沉思；猜测；投机 | |
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banter
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| n.嘲弄，戏谑；v.取笑，逗弄，开玩笑 | |
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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communal
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| adj.公有的，公共的，公社的，公社制的 | |
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habitual
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| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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animation
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| n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作 | |
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irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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riddle
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| n.谜，谜语，粗筛；vt.解谜，给…出谜，筛，检查，鉴定，非难，充满于；vi.出谜 | |
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exasperating
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| adj. 激怒的 动词exasperate的现在分词形式 | |
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monotonous
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| adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的 | |
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apprehensions
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| 疑惧 | |
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superfluous
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| adj.过多的，过剩的，多余的 | |
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avowedly
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| adv.公然地 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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renounce
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| v.放弃；拒绝承认，宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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dwindled
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| v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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philosophically
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| adv.哲学上；富有哲理性地；贤明地；冷静地 | |
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exponents
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| n.倡导者( exponent的名词复数 )；说明者；指数；能手 | |
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boredom
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| n.厌烦，厌倦，乏味，无聊 | |
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archaeology
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| n.考古学 | |
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champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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ineffable
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| adj.无法表达的，不可言喻的 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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confiding
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| adj.相信人的，易于相信的v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的现在分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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muddled
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| adj.混乱的；糊涂的；头脑昏昏然的v.弄乱，弄糟( muddle的过去式)；使糊涂；对付，混日子 | |
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solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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well-being
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| n.安康，安乐，幸福 | |
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attainable
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| a.可达到的，可获得的 | |
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prodigal
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| adj.浪费的，挥霍的，放荡的 | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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thumping
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| adj.重大的，巨大的；重击的；尺码大的；极好的adv.极端地；非常地v.重击(thump的现在分词)；狠打；怦怦地跳；全力支持 | |
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initiation
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| n.开始 | |
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tribal
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| adj.部族的，种族的 | |
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disarmed
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| v.裁军( disarm的过去式和过去分词 )；使息怒 | |
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sprawled
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| v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的过去式和过去分词)；蔓延；杂乱无序地拓展；四肢伸展坐着（或躺着） | |
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costly
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| adj.昂贵的，价值高的，豪华的 | |
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moor
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| n.荒野，沼泽；vt.(使)停泊；vi.停泊 | |
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defiantly
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| adv.挑战地，大胆对抗地 | |
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pebble
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| n.卵石，小圆石 | |
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ripples
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| 逐渐扩散的感觉( ripple的名词复数 ) | |
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explicitness
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gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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pivoting
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| n.绕轴旋转，绕公共法线旋转v.（似）在枢轴上转动( pivot的现在分词 )；把…放在枢轴上；以…为核心，围绕（主旨）展开 | |
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tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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rankling
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| v.（使）痛苦不已，（使）怨恨不已( rankle的现在分词 ) | |
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grievance
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| n.怨愤，气恼，委屈 | |
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eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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antiquated
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| adj.陈旧的，过时的 | |
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scruples
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| n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 )；顾虑，顾忌v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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arabesques
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| n.阿拉伯式花饰( arabesque的名词复数 )；错综图饰；阿拉伯图案；阿拉贝斯克芭蕾舞姿（独脚站立，手前伸，另一脚一手向后伸） | |
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submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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82
acquiescence
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| n.默许；顺从 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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84
injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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