Some Sage1 Observations that Naturally Introduce Our Important History.
Cardinal2 de Retz very judiciously3 observes, that all historians must of necessity be subject to mistakes, in explaining the motives4 of those actions they record, unless they derive5 their intelligence from the candid6 confession7 of the person whose character they represent; and that, of consequence, every man of importance ought to write his own memoirs8, provided he has honesty enough to tell the truth, without suppressing any circumstance that may tend to the information of the reader. This, however, is a requisite9 that, I am afraid, would be very rarely found among the number of those who exhibit their own portraits to the public. Indeed, I will venture to say, that, how upright soever a man’s intentions may be, he will, in the performance of such a task, be sometimes misled by his own phantasy, and represent objects, as they appeared to him, through the mists of prejudice and passion.
An unconcerned reader, when he peruses11 the history of two competitors, who lived two thousand years ago, or who perhaps never had existence, except in the imagination of the author, cannot help interesting himself in the dispute, and espousing12 one side of the contest, with all the zeal13 of a warm adherent14. What wonder, then, that we should be heated in our own concerns, review our actions with the same self-approbation that they had formerly15 acquired, and recommend them to the world with all the enthusiasm of paternal16 affection?
Supposing this to be the case, it was lucky for the cause of historical truth, that so many pens have been drawn17 by writers, who could not be suspected of such partiality; and that many great personages, among the ancients as well as moderns, either would not or could not entertain the public with their own memoirs. From this want of inclination18 or capacity to write, in our hero himself, the undertaking19 is now left to me, of transmitting to posterity20 the remarkable21 adventures of FERDINAND COUNT FATHOM22; and by the time the reader shall have glanced over the subsequent sheets, I doubt not but he will bless God that the adventurer was not his own historian.
This mirror of modern chivalry23 was none of those who owe their dignity to the circumstances of their birth, and are consecrated24 from the cradle for the purposes of greatness, merely because they are the accidental children of wealth. He was heir to no visible patrimony26, unless we reckon a robust27 constitution, a tolerable appearance, and an uncommon28 capacity, as the advantages of inheritance. If the comparison obtains in this point of consideration, he was as much as any man indebted to his parent; and pity it was, that, in the sequel of his fortune, he never had an opportunity of manifesting his filial gratitude29 and regard. From this agreeable act of duty to his sire, and all those tendernesses that are reciprocally enjoyed betwixt the father and the son, he was unhappily excluded by a small circumstance; at which, however, he was never heard to repine. In short, had he been brought forth30 in the fabulous31 ages of the world, the nature of his origin might have turned to his account; he might, like other heroes of antiquity32, have laid claim to divine extraction, without running the risk of being claimed by an earthly father. Not that his parents had any reason to disown or renounce33 their offspring, or that there was anything preternatural in the circumstances of his generation and birth; on the contrary, he was, from the beginning, a child of promising34 parts, and in due course of nature ushered35 into the world amidst a whole cloud of witnesses. But, that he was acknowledged by no mortal sire, solely36 proceeded from the uncertainty37 of his mother, whose affections were so dissipated among a number of admirers, that she could never pitch upon the person from whose loins our hero sprung.
Over and above this important doubt under which he was begotten38, other particularities attended his birth, and seemed to mark him out as something uncommon among the sons of men. He was brought forth in a waggon39, and might be said to be literally40 a native of two different countries; for, though he first saw the light in Holland, he was not born till after the carriage arrived in Flanders; so that, all these extraordinary circumstances considered, the task of determining to what government he naturally owed allegiance, would be at least as difficult as that of ascertaining41 the so much contested birthplace of Homer.
Certain it is, the Count’s mother was an Englishwoman, who, after having been five times a widow in one campaign, was, in the last year of the renowned42 Marlborough’s command, numbered among the baggage of the allied43 army, which she still accompanied, through pure benevolence44 of spirit, supplying the ranks with the refreshing45 streams of choice Geneva, and accommodating individuals with clean linen46, as the emergency of their occasions required. Nor was her philanthropy altogether confined to such ministration; she abounded47 with “the milk of human kindness,” which flowed plentifully48 among her fellow-creatures; and to every son of Mars who cultivated her favour, she liberally dispensed49 her smiles, in order to sweeten the toils50 and dangers of the field.
And here it will not be amiss to anticipate the remarks of the reader, who, in the chastity and excellency of his conception, may possibly exclaim, “Good Heaven! will these authors never reform their imaginations, and lift their ideas from the obscene objects of low life? Must the public be again disgusted with the grovelling51 adventures of a waggon? Will no writer of genius draw his pen in the vindication52 of taste, and entertain us with the agreeable characters, the dignified53 conversation, the poignant54 repartee55, in short, the genteel comedy of the polite world?”
Have a little patience, gentle, delicate, sublime56 critic; you, I doubt not, are one of those consummate57 connoisseurs58, who, in their purifications, let humour evaporate, while they endeavour to preserve decorum, and polish wit, until the edge of it is quite worn off. Or, perhaps, of that class, who, in the sapience59 of taste, are disgusted with those very flavours in the productions of their own country which have yielded infinite delectation to their faculties60, when imported from another clime; and d — n an author in despite of all precedent61 and prescription;— who extol62 the writings of Petronius Arbiter63, read with rapture64 the amorous65 sallies of Ovid’s pen, and chuckle66 over the story of Lucian’s ass10; yet, if a modern author presumes to relate the progress of a simple intrigue67, are shocked at the indecency and immorality69 of the scene;— who delight in following Guzman d’Alfarache, through all the mazes70 of squalid beggary; who with pleasure accompany Don Quixote and his squire71, in the lowest paths of fortune; who are diverted with the adventures of Scarron’s ragged72 troop of strollers, and highly entertained with the servile situations of Gil Blas; yet, when a character in humble73 life occasionally occurs in a performance of our own growth, exclaim, with an air of disgust, “Was ever anything so mean! sure, this writer must have been very conversant74 with the lowest scenes of life”;— who, when Swift or Pope represents a coxcomb75 in the act of swearing, scruple76 not to laugh at the ridiculous execrations; but, in a less reputed author, condemn77 the use of such profane78 expletives;— who eagerly explore the jakes of Rabelais, for amusement, and even extract humour from the dean’s description of a lady’s dressing-room; yet in a production of these days, unstamped with such venerable names, will stop their noses, with all the signs of loathing79 and abhorrence80, at a bare mention of the china chamber-pot;— who applauded Catullus, Juvenal, Persius, and Lucan, for their spirit in lashing81 the greatest names of antiquity; yet, when a British satirist82, of this generation, has courage enough to call in question the talents of a pseudo-patron in power, accuse him of insolence83, rancour, and scurrility84.
If such you be, courteous85 reader, I say again, have a little patience; for your entertainment we are about to write. Our hero shall, with all convenient despatch86, be gradually sublimed87 into those splendid connexions of which you are enamoured; and God forbid, that, in the meantime, the nature of his extraction should turn to his prejudice in a land of freedom like this, where individuals are every day ennobled in consequence of their own qualifications, without the least retrospective regard to the rank or merit of their ancestors. Yes, refined reader, we are hastening to that goal of perfection, where satire88 dares not show her face; where nature is castigated89, almost even to still life; where humour turns changeling, and slavers in an insipid90 grin; where wit is volatilised into a mere25 vapour; where decency68, divested91 of all substance, hovers92 about like a fantastic shadow; where the salt of genius, escaping, leaves nothing but pure and simple phlegm; and the inoffensive pen for ever drops the mild manna of soul-sweetening praise.
1 sage | |
n.圣人,哲人;adj.贤明的,明智的 | |
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2 cardinal | |
n.(天主教的)红衣主教;adj.首要的,基本的 | |
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3 judiciously | |
adv.明断地,明智而审慎地 | |
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4 motives | |
n.动机,目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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5 derive | |
v.取得;导出;引申;来自;源自;出自 | |
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6 candid | |
adj.公正的,正直的;坦率的 | |
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7 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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8 memoirs | |
n.回忆录;回忆录传( mem,自oir的名词复数) | |
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9 requisite | |
adj.需要的,必不可少的;n.必需品 | |
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10 ass | |
n.驴;傻瓜,蠢笨的人 | |
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11 peruses | |
v.读(某篇文字)( peruse的第三人称单数 );(尤指)细阅;审阅;匆匆读或心不在焉地浏览(某篇文字) | |
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12 espousing | |
v.(决定)支持,拥护(目标、主张等)( espouse的现在分词 ) | |
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13 zeal | |
n.热心,热情,热忱 | |
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14 adherent | |
n.信徒,追随者,拥护者 | |
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15 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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16 paternal | |
adj.父亲的,像父亲的,父系的,父方的 | |
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17 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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18 inclination | |
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好 | |
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19 undertaking | |
n.保证,许诺,事业 | |
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20 posterity | |
n.后裔,子孙,后代 | |
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21 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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22 fathom | |
v.领悟,彻底了解 | |
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23 chivalry | |
n.骑士气概,侠义;(男人)对女人彬彬有礼,献殷勤 | |
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24 consecrated | |
adj.神圣的,被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣,给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 );奉献 | |
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25 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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26 patrimony | |
n.世袭财产,继承物 | |
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27 robust | |
adj.强壮的,强健的,粗野的,需要体力的,浓的 | |
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28 uncommon | |
adj.罕见的,非凡的,不平常的 | |
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29 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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30 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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31 fabulous | |
adj.极好的;极为巨大的;寓言中的,传说中的 | |
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32 antiquity | |
n.古老;高龄;古物,古迹 | |
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33 renounce | |
v.放弃;拒绝承认,宣布与…断绝关系 | |
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34 promising | |
adj.有希望的,有前途的 | |
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35 ushered | |
v.引,领,陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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36 solely | |
adv.仅仅,唯一地 | |
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37 uncertainty | |
n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物 | |
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38 begotten | |
v.为…之生父( beget的过去分词 );产生,引起 | |
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39 waggon | |
n.运货马车,运货车;敞篷车箱 | |
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40 literally | |
adv.照字面意义,逐字地;确实 | |
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41 ascertaining | |
v.弄清,确定,查明( ascertain的现在分词 ) | |
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42 renowned | |
adj.著名的,有名望的,声誉鹊起的 | |
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43 allied | |
adj.协约国的;同盟国的 | |
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44 benevolence | |
n.慈悲,捐助 | |
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45 refreshing | |
adj.使精神振作的,使人清爽的,使人喜欢的 | |
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46 linen | |
n.亚麻布,亚麻线,亚麻制品;adj.亚麻布制的,亚麻的 | |
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47 abounded | |
v.大量存在,充满,富于( abound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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48 plentifully | |
adv. 许多地,丰饶地 | |
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49 dispensed | |
v.分配( dispense的过去式和过去分词 );施与;配(药) | |
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50 toils | |
网 | |
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51 grovelling | |
adj.卑下的,奴颜婢膝的v.卑躬屈节,奴颜婢膝( grovel的现在分词 );趴 | |
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52 vindication | |
n.洗冤,证实 | |
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53 dignified | |
a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
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54 poignant | |
adj.令人痛苦的,辛酸的,惨痛的 | |
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55 repartee | |
n.机敏的应答 | |
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56 sublime | |
adj.崇高的,伟大的;极度的,不顾后果的 | |
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57 consummate | |
adj.完美的;v.成婚;使完美 [反]baffle | |
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58 connoisseurs | |
n.鉴赏家,鉴定家,行家( connoisseur的名词复数 ) | |
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59 sapience | |
n.贤明,睿智 | |
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60 faculties | |
n.能力( faculty的名词复数 );全体教职员;技巧;院 | |
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61 precedent | |
n.先例,前例;惯例;adj.在前的,在先的 | |
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62 extol | |
v.赞美,颂扬 | |
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63 arbiter | |
n.仲裁人,公断人 | |
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64 rapture | |
n.狂喜;全神贯注;着迷;v.使狂喜 | |
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65 amorous | |
adj.多情的;有关爱情的 | |
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66 chuckle | |
vi./n.轻声笑,咯咯笑 | |
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67 intrigue | |
vt.激起兴趣,迷住;vi.耍阴谋;n.阴谋,密谋 | |
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68 decency | |
n.体面,得体,合宜,正派,庄重 | |
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69 immorality | |
n. 不道德, 无道义 | |
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70 mazes | |
迷宫( maze的名词复数 ); 纷繁复杂的规则; 复杂难懂的细节; 迷宫图 | |
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71 squire | |
n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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72 ragged | |
adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的 | |
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73 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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74 conversant | |
adj.亲近的,有交情的,熟悉的 | |
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75 coxcomb | |
n.花花公子 | |
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76 scruple | |
n./v.顾忌,迟疑 | |
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77 condemn | |
vt.谴责,指责;宣判(罪犯),判刑 | |
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78 profane | |
adj.亵神的,亵渎的;vt.亵渎,玷污 | |
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79 loathing | |
n.厌恶,憎恨v.憎恨,厌恶( loathe的现在分词);极不喜欢 | |
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80 abhorrence | |
n.憎恶;可憎恶的事 | |
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81 lashing | |
n.鞭打;痛斥;大量;许多v.鞭打( lash的现在分词 );煽动;紧系;怒斥 | |
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82 satirist | |
n.讽刺诗作者,讽刺家,爱挖苦别人的人 | |
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83 insolence | |
n.傲慢;无礼;厚颜;傲慢的态度 | |
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84 scurrility | |
n.粗俗下流;辱骂的言语 | |
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85 courteous | |
adj.彬彬有礼的,客气的 | |
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86 despatch | |
n./v.(dispatch)派遣;发送;n.急件;新闻报道 | |
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87 sublimed | |
伟大的( sublime的过去式和过去分词 ); 令人赞叹的; 极端的; 不顾后果的 | |
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88 satire | |
n.讽刺,讽刺文学,讽刺作品 | |
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89 castigated | |
v.严厉责骂、批评或惩罚(某人)( castigate的过去式 ) | |
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90 insipid | |
adj.无味的,枯燥乏味的,单调的 | |
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91 divested | |
v.剥夺( divest的过去式和过去分词 );脱去(衣服);2。从…取去…;1。(给某人)脱衣服 | |
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92 hovers | |
鸟( hover的第三人称单数 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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