When the weather was dark and cloudy Edna could not work. She needed the sun to mellow1 and temper her mood to the sticking point. She had reached a stage when she seemed to be no longer feeling her way, working, when in the humor, with sureness and ease. And being devoid2 of ambition, and striving not toward accomplishment3, she drew satisfaction from the work in itself.
On rainy or melancholy4 days Edna went out and sought the society of the friends she had made at Grand Isle5. Or else she stayed indoors and nursed a mood with which she was becoming too familiar for her own comfort and peace of mind. It was not despair; but it seemed to her as if life were passing by, leaving its promise broken and unfulfilled. Yet there were other days when she listened, was led on and deceived by fresh promises which her youth held out to her.
She went again to the races, and again. Alcee Arobin and Mrs. Highcamp called for her one bright afternoon in Arobin’s drag. Mrs. Highcamp was a worldly but unaffected, intelligent, slim, tall blonde woman in the forties, with an indifferent manner and blue eyes that stared. She had a daughter who served her as a pretext6 for cultivating the society of young men of fashion. Alcee Arobin was one of them. He was a familiar figure at the race course, the opera, the fashionable clubs. There was a perpetual smile in his eyes, which seldom failed to awaken7 a corresponding cheerfulness in any one who looked into them and listened to his good-humored voice. His manner was quiet, and at times a little insolent8. He possessed9 a good figure, a pleasing face, not overburdened with depth of thought or feeling; and his dress was that of the conventional man of fashion.
He admired Edna extravagantly10, after meeting her at the races with her father. He had met her before on other occasions, but she had seemed to him unapproachable until that day. It was at his instigation that Mrs. Highcamp called to ask her to go with them to the Jockey Club to witness the turf event of the season.
There were possibly a few track men out there who knew the race horse as well as Edna, but there was certainly none who knew it better. She sat between her two companions as one having authority to speak. She laughed at Arobin’s pretensions11, and deplored12 Mrs. Highcamp’s ignorance. The race horse was a friend and intimate associate of her childhood. The atmosphere of the stables and the breath of the blue grass paddock revived in her memory and lingered in her nostrils14. She did not perceive that she was talking like her father as the sleek15 geldings ambled16 in review before them. She played for very high stakes, and fortune favored her. The fever of the game flamed in her cheeks and eyes, and it got into her blood and into her brain like an intoxicant. People turned their heads to look at her, and more than one lent an attentive19 car to her utterances20, hoping thereby21 to secure the elusive22 but ever-desired “tip.” Arobin caught the contagion23 of excitement which drew him to Edna like a magnet. Mrs. Highcamp remained, as usual, unmoved, with her indifferent stare and uplifted eyebrows24.
Edna stayed and dined with Mrs. Highcamp upon being urged to do so. Arobin also remained and sent away his drag.
The dinner was quiet and uninteresting, save for the cheerful efforts of Arobin to enliven things. Mrs. Highcamp deplored the absence of her daughter from the races, and tried to convey to her what she had missed by going to the “Dante reading” instead of joining them. The girl held a geranium leaf up to her nose and said nothing, but looked knowing and noncommittal. Mr. Highcamp was a plain, bald-headed man, who only talked under compulsion. He was unresponsive. Mrs. Highcamp was full of delicate courtesy and consideration toward her husband. She addressed most of her conversation to him at table. They sat in the library after dinner and read the evening papers together under the droplight; while the younger people went into the drawing-room near by and talked. Miss Highcamp played some selections from Grieg upon the piano. She seemed to have apprehended25 all of the composer’s coldness and none of his poetry. While Edna listened she could not help wondering if she had lost her taste for music.
When the time came for her to go home, Mr. Highcamp grunted26 a lame18 offer to escort her, looking down at his slippered27 feet with tactless concern. It was Arobin who took her home. The car ride was long, and it was late when they reached Esplanade Street. Arobin asked permission to enter for a second to light his cigarette-his match safe was empty. He filled his match safe, but did not light his cigarette until he left her, after she had expressed her willingness to go to the races with him again.
Edna was neither tired nor sleepy. She was hungry again, for the Highcamp dinner, though of excellent quality, had lacked abundance. She rummaged28 in the larder29 and brought forth30 a slice of Gruyere and some crackers31. She opened a bottle of beer which she found in the icebox. Edna felt extremely restless and excited. She vacantly hummed a fantastic tune17 as she poked33 at the wood embers on the hearth34 and munched35 a cracker32.
She wanted something to happen-something, anything; she did not know what. She regretted that she had not made Arobin stay a half hour to talk over the horses with her. She counted the money she had won. But there was nothing else to do, so she went to bed, and tossed there for hours in a sort of monotonous36 agitation37.
In the middle of the night she remembered that she had forgotten to write her regular letter to her husband; and she decided38 to do so next day and tell him about her afternoon at the Jockey Club. She lay wide awake composing a letter which was nothing like the one which she wrote next day. When the maid awoke her in the morning Edna was dreaming of Mr. Highcamp playing the piano at the entrance of a music store on Canal Street, while his wife was saying to Alcee Arobin, as they boarded an Esplanade Street car:
“What a pity that so much talent has been neglected! but I must go.”
When, a few days later, Alcee Arobin again called for Edna in his drag, Mrs. Highcamp was not with him. He said they would pick her up. But as that lady had not been apprised39 of his intention of picking her up, she was not at home. The daughter was just leaving the house to attend the meeting of a branch Folk Lore13 Society, and regretted that she could not accompany them. Arobin appeared nonplused, and asked Edna if there were any one else she cared to ask.
She did not deem it worth while to go in search of any of the fashionable acquaintances from whom she had withdrawn40 herself. She thought of Madame Ratignolle, but knew that her fair friend did not leave the house, except to take a languid walk around the block with her husband after nightfall. Mademoiselle Reisz would have laughed at such a request from Edna. Madame Lebrun might have enjoyed the outing, but for some reason Edna did not want her. So they went alone, she and Arobin.
The afternoon was intensely interesting to her. The excitement came back upon her like a remittent fever. Her talk grew familiar and confidential41. It was no labor42 to become intimate with Arobin. His manner invited easy confidence. The preliminary stage of becoming acquainted was one which he always endeavored to ignore when a pretty and engaging woman was concerned.
He stayed and dined with Edna. He stayed and sat beside the wood fire. They laughed and talked; and before it was time to go he was telling her how different life might have been if he had known her years before. With ingenuous43 frankness he spoke44 of what a wicked, ill-disciplined boy he had been, and impulsively45 drew up his cuff46 to exhibit upon his wrist the scar from a saber cut which he had received in a duel47 outside of Paris when he was nineteen. She touched his hand as she scanned the red cicatrice on the inside of his white wrist. A quick impulse that was somewhat spasmodic impelled48 her fingers to close in a sort of clutch upon his hand. He felt the pressure of her pointed50 nails in the flesh of his palm.
She arose hastily and walked toward the mantel.
“The sight of a wound or scar always agitates51 and sickens me,” she said. “I shouldn’t have looked at it.”
“I beg your pardon,” he entreated52, following her; “it never occurred to me that it might be repulsive53.”
He stood close to her, and the effrontery54 in his eyes repelled55 the old, vanishing self in her, yet drew all her awakening56 sensuousness57. He saw enough in her face to impel49 him to take her hand and hold it while he said his lingering good night.
“Will you go to the races again?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “I’ve had enough of the races. I don’t want to lose all the money I’ve won, and I’ve got to work when the weather is bright, instead of-”
“Yes; work; to be sure. You promised to show me your work. What morning may I come up to your atelier? To-morrow?”
“No!”
“Day after?”
“No, no.”
“Oh, please don’t refuse me! I know something of such things. I might help you with a stray suggestion or two.”
“No. Good night. Why don’t you go after you have said good night? I don’t like you,” she went on in a high, excited pitch, attempting to draw away her hand. She felt that her words lacked dignity and sincerity58, and she knew that he felt it.
“I’m sorry you don’t like me. I’m sorry I offended you. How have I offended you? What have I done? Can’t you forgive me?” And he bent59 and pressed his lips upon her hand as if he wished never more to withdraw them.
“Mr. Arobin,” she complained, “I’m greatly upset by the excitement of the afternoon; I’m not myself. My manner must have misled you in some way. I wish you to go, please.” She spoke in a monotonous, dull tone. He took his hat from the table, and stood with eyes turned from her, looking into the dying fire. For a moment or two he kept an impressive silence.
“Your manner has not misled me, Mrs. Pontellier,” he said finally. “My own emotions have done that. I couldn’t help it. When I’m near you, how could I help it? Don’t think anything of it, don’t bother, please. You see, I go when you command me. If you wish me to stay away, I shall do so. If you let me come back, I-oh! you will let me come back?”
He cast one appealing glance at her, to which she made no response. Alcee Arobin’s manner was so genuine that it often deceived even himself.
Edna did not care or think whether it were genuine or not. When she was alone she looked mechanically at the back of her hand which he had kissed so warmly. Then she leaned her head down on the mantelpiece. She felt somewhat like a woman who in a moment of passion is betrayed into an act of infidelity, and realizes the significance of the act without being wholly awakened60 from its glamour61. The thought was passing vaguely62 through her mind, “What would he think?”
She did not mean her husband; she was thinking of Robert Lebrun. Her husband seemed to her now like a person whom she had married without love as an excuse.
She lit a candle and went up to her room. Alcee Arobin was absolutely nothing to her. Yet his presence, his manners, the warmth of his glances, and above all the touch of his lips upon her hand had acted like a narcotic63 upon her.
She slept a languorous64 sleep, interwoven with vanishing dreams.
1 mellow | |
adj.柔和的;熟透的;v.变柔和;(使)成熟 | |
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2 devoid | |
adj.全无的,缺乏的 | |
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3 accomplishment | |
n.完成,成就,(pl.)造诣,技能 | |
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4 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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5 isle | |
n.小岛,岛 | |
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6 pretext | |
n.借口,托词 | |
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7 awaken | |
vi.醒,觉醒;vt.唤醒,使觉醒,唤起,激起 | |
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8 insolent | |
adj.傲慢的,无理的 | |
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9 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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10 extravagantly | |
adv.挥霍无度地 | |
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11 pretensions | |
自称( pretension的名词复数 ); 自命不凡; 要求; 权力 | |
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12 deplored | |
v.悲叹,痛惜,强烈反对( deplore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13 lore | |
n.传说;学问,经验,知识 | |
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14 nostrils | |
鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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15 sleek | |
adj.光滑的,井然有序的;v.使光滑,梳拢 | |
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16 ambled | |
v.(马)缓行( amble的过去式和过去分词 );从容地走,漫步 | |
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17 tune | |
n.调子;和谐,协调;v.调音,调节,调整 | |
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18 lame | |
adj.跛的,(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
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19 attentive | |
adj.注意的,专心的;关心(别人)的,殷勤的 | |
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20 utterances | |
n.发声( utterance的名词复数 );说话方式;语调;言论 | |
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21 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
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22 elusive | |
adj.难以表达(捉摸)的;令人困惑的;逃避的 | |
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23 contagion | |
n.(通过接触的疾病)传染;蔓延 | |
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24 eyebrows | |
眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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25 apprehended | |
逮捕,拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 ); 理解 | |
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26 grunted | |
(猪等)作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 ); (指人)发出类似的哼声; 咕哝着说 | |
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27 slippered | |
穿拖鞋的 | |
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28 rummaged | |
翻找,搜寻( rummage的过去式和过去分词 ); 已经海关检查 | |
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29 larder | |
n.食物贮藏室,食品橱 | |
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30 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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31 crackers | |
adj.精神错乱的,癫狂的n.爆竹( cracker的名词复数 );薄脆饼干;(认为)十分愉快的事;迷人的姑娘 | |
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32 cracker | |
n.(无甜味的)薄脆饼干 | |
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33 poked | |
v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 );戳出;拨弄;与(某人)性交 | |
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34 hearth | |
n.壁炉炉床,壁炉地面 | |
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35 munched | |
v.用力咀嚼(某物),大嚼( munch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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36 monotonous | |
adj.单调的,一成不变的,使人厌倦的 | |
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37 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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38 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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39 apprised | |
v.告知,通知( apprise的过去式和过去分词 );评价 | |
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40 withdrawn | |
vt.收回;使退出;vi.撤退,退出 | |
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41 confidential | |
adj.秘(机)密的,表示信任的,担任机密工作的 | |
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42 labor | |
n.劳动,努力,工作,劳工;分娩;vi.劳动,努力,苦干;vt.详细分析;麻烦 | |
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43 ingenuous | |
adj.纯朴的,单纯的;天真的;坦率的 | |
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44 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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45 impulsively | |
adv.冲动地 | |
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46 cuff | |
n.袖口;手铐;护腕;vt.用手铐铐;上袖口 | |
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47 duel | |
n./v.决斗;(双方的)斗争 | |
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48 impelled | |
v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49 impel | |
v.推动;激励,迫使 | |
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50 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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51 agitates | |
搅动( agitate的第三人称单数 ); 激怒; 使焦虑不安; (尤指为法律、社会状况的改变而)激烈争论 | |
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52 entreated | |
恳求,乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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53 repulsive | |
adj.排斥的,使人反感的 | |
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54 effrontery | |
n.厚颜无耻 | |
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55 repelled | |
v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 );使厌恶;排斥;推开 | |
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56 awakening | |
n.觉醒,醒悟 adj.觉醒中的;唤醒的 | |
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57 sensuousness | |
n.知觉 | |
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58 sincerity | |
n.真诚,诚意;真实 | |
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59 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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60 awakened | |
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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61 glamour | |
n.魔力,魅力;vt.迷住 | |
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62 vaguely | |
adv.含糊地,暖昧地 | |
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63 narcotic | |
n.麻醉药,镇静剂;adj.麻醉的,催眠的 | |
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64 languorous | |
adj.怠惰的,没精打采的 | |
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