I
HE awoke to stretch cheerfully as he listened to the sparrows, then to remember that everything was wrong; that he was determined1 to go astray, and not in the least enjoying the process. Why, he wondered, should he be in rebellion? What was it all about? “Why not be sensible; stop all this idiotic2 running around, and enjoy himself with his family, his business, the fellows at the club?” What was he getting out of rebellion? Misery3 and shame — the shame of being treated as an offensive small boy by a ragamuffin like Ida Putiak! And yet — Always he came back to “And yet.” Whatever the misery, he could not regain5 contentment with a world which, once doubted, became absurd.
Only, he assured himself, he was “through with this chasing after girls.”
By noontime he was not so sure even of that. If in Miss McGoun, Louetta Swanson, and Ida he had failed to find the lady kind and lovely, it did not prove that she did not exist. He was hunted by the ancient thought that somewhere must exist the not impossible she who would understand him, value him, and make him happy.
II
Mrs. Babbitt returned in August.
On her previous absences he had missed her reassuring6 buzz and of her arrival he had made a fete. Now, though he dared not hurt her by letting a hint of it appear in his letters, he was sorry that she was coming before he had found himself, and he was embarrassed by the need of meeting her and looking joyful7.
He loitered down to the station; he studied the summer-resort posters, lest he have to speak to acquaintances and expose his uneasiness. But he was well trained. When the train clanked in he was out on the cement platform, peering into the chair-cars, and as he saw her in the line of passengers moving toward the vestibule he waved his hat. At the door he embraced her, and announced, “Well, well, well, well, by golly, you look fine, you look fine.” Then he was aware of Tinka. Here was something, this child with her absurd little nose and lively eyes, that loved him, believed him great, and as he clasped her, lifted and held her till she squealed8, he was for the moment come back to his old steady self.
Tinka sat beside him in the car, with one hand on the steering-wheel, pretending to help him drive, and he shouted back to his wife, “I’ll bet the kid will be the best chuffer in the family! She holds the wheel like an old professional!”
All the while he was dreading9 the moment when he would be alone with his wife and she would patiently expect him to be ardent10.
III
There was about the house an unofficial theory that he was to take his vacation alone, to spend a week or ten days in Catawba, but he was nagged11 by the memory that a year ago he had been with Paul in Maine. He saw himself returning; finding peace there, and the presence of Paul, in a life primitive12 and heroic. Like a shock came the thought that he actually could go. Only, he couldn’t, really; he couldn’t leave his business, and “Myra would think it sort of funny, his going way off there alone. Course he’d decided13 to do whatever he darned pleased, from now on, but still — to go way off to Maine!”
He went, after lengthy14 meditations15.
With his wife, since it was inconceivable to explain that he was going to seek Paul’s spirit in the wilderness16, he frugally17 employed the lie prepared over a year ago and scarcely used at all. He said that he had to see a man in New York on business. He could not have explained even to himself why he drew from the bank several hundred dollars more than he needed, nor why he kissed Tinka so tenderly, and cried, “God bless you, baby!” From the train he waved to her till she was but a scarlet18 spot beside the brown bulkier presence of Mrs. Babbitt, at the end of a steel and cement aisle19 ending in vast barred gates. With melancholy20 he looked back at the last suburb of Zenith.
All the way north he pictured the Maine guides: simple and strong and daring, jolly as they played stud-poker in their unceiled shack21, wise in woodcraft as they tramped the forest and shot the rapids. He particularly remembered Joe Paradise, half Yankee, half Indian. If he could but take up a backwoods claim with a man like Joe, work hard with his hands, be free and noisy in a flannel22 shirt, and never come back to this dull decency23!
Or, like a trapper in a Northern Canada movie, plunge24 through the forest, make camp in the Rockies, a grim and wordless caveman! Why not? He COULD do it! There’d be enough money at home for the family to live on till Verona was married and Ted4 self-supporting. Old Henry T. would look out for them. Honestly! Why NOT? Really LIVE—
He longed for it, admitted that he longed for it, then almost believed that he was going lo do it. Whenever common sense snorted, “Nonsense! Folks don’t run away from decent families and partners; just simply don’t do it, that’s all!” then Babbitt answered pleadingly, “Well, it wouldn’t take any more nerve than for Paul to go to jail and — Lord, how I’d’ like to do it! Moccasins-six-gun-frontier town-gamblers — sleep under the stars — be a regular man, with he-men like Joe Paradise — gosh!”
So he came to Maine, again stood on the wharf25 before the camp-hotel, again spat26 heroically into the delicate and shivering water, while the pines rustled27, the mountains glowed, and a trout28 leaped and fell in a sliding circle. He hurried to the guides’ shack as to his real home, his real friends, long missed. They would be glad to see him. They would stand up and shout? “Why, here’s Mr. Babbitt! He ain’t one of these ordinary sports! He’s a real guy!”
In their boarded and rather littered cabin the guides sat about the greasy29 table playing stud-poker with greasy cards: half a dozen wrinkled men in old trousers and easy old felt hats. They glanced up and nodded. Joe Paradise, the swart aging man with the big mustache, grunted30, “How do. Back again?”
Silence, except for the clatter31 of chips.
Babbitt stood beside them, very lonely. He hinted, after a period of highly concentrated playing, “Guess I might take a hand, Joe.”
“Sure. Sit in. How many chips you want? Let’s see; you were here with your wife, last year, wa’n’t you?” said Joe Paradise.
That was all of Babbitt’s welcome to the old home.
He played for half an hour before he spoke32 again. His head was reeking33 with the smoke of pipes and cheap cigars, and he was weary of pairs and four-flushes, resentful of the way in which they ignored him. He flung at Joe:
“Working now?”
“Nope.”
“Like to guide me for a few days?”
“Well, jus’ soon. I ain’t engaged till next week.”
Only thus did Joe recognize the friendship Babbitt was offering him. Babbitt paid up his losses and left the shack rather childishly. Joe raised his head from the coils of smoke like a seal rising from surf, grunted, “I’ll come ‘round t’morrow,” and dived down to his three aces34.
Neither in his voiceless cabin, fragrant35 with planks36 of new-cut pine, nor along the lake, nor in the sunset clouds which presently eddied37 behind the lavender-misted mountains, could Babbitt find the spirit of Paul as a reassuring presence. He was so lonely that after supper he stopped to talk with an ancient old lady, a gasping38 and steadily39 discoursing40 old lady, by the stove in the hotel-office. He told her of Ted’s presumable future triumphs in the State University and of Tinka’s remarkable41 vocabulary till he was homesick for the home he had left forever.
Through the darkness, through that Northern pine-walled silence, he blundered down to the lake-front and found a canoe. There were no paddles in it but with a board, sitting awkwardly amidships and poking42 at the water rather than paddling, he made his way far out on the lake. The lights of the hotel and the cottages became yellow dots, a cluster of glow-worms at the base of Sachem Mountain. Larger and ever more imperturbable43 was the mountain in the star-filtered darkness, and the lake a limitless pavement of black marble. He was dwarfed44 and dumb and a little awed45, but that insignificance46 freed him from the pomposities of being Mr. George F. Babbitt of Zenith; saddened and freed his heart. Now he was conscious of the presence of Paul, fancied him (rescued from prison, from Zilla and the brisk exactitudes of the tar-roofing business) playing his violin at the end of the canoe. He vowed47, “I will go on! I’ll never go back! Now that Paul’s out of it, I don’t want to see any of those damn people again! I was a fool to get sore because Joe Paradise didn’t jump up and hug me. He’s one of these woodsmen; too wise to go yelping48 and talking your arm off like a cityman. But get him back in the mountains, out on the trail —! That’s real living!” IV
Joe reported at Babbitt’s cabin at nine the next morning. Babbitt greeted him as a fellow caveman:
“Well, Joe, how d’ you feel about hitting the trail, and getting away from these darn soft summerites and these women and all?”
“All right, Mr. Babbitt.”
“What do you say we go over to Box Car Pond — they tell me the shack there isn’t being used — and camp out?”
“Well, all right, Mr. Babbitt, but it’s nearer to Skowtuit Pond, and you can get just about as good fishing there.”
“No, I want to get into the real wilds.”
“Well, all right.”
“We’ll put the old packs on our backs and get into the woods and really hike.”
“I think maybe it would be easier to go by water, through Lake Chogue. We can go all the way by motor boat — flat-bottom boat with an Evinrude.”
“No, sir! Bust49 up the quiet with a chugging motor? Not on your life! You just throw a pair of socks in the old pack, and tell ’em what you want for eats. I’ll be ready soon ‘s you are.”
“Most of the sports go by boat, Mr. Babbitt. It’s a long walk.
“Look here, Joe: are you objecting to walking?”
“Oh, no, I guess I can do it. But I haven’t tramped that far for sixteen years. Most of the sports go by boat. But I can do it if you say so — I guess.” Joe walked away in sadness.
Babbitt had recovered from his touchy50 wrath51 before Joe returned. He pictured him as warming up and telling the most entertaining stories. But Joe had not yet warmed up when they took the trail. He persistently52 kept behind Babbitt, and however much his shoulders ached from the pack, however sorely he panted, Babbitt could hear his guide panting equally. But the trail was satisfying: a path brown with pine-needles and rough with roots, among the balsams, the ferns, the sudden groves54 of white birch. He became credulous55 again, and rejoiced in sweating. When he stopped to rest he chuckled56, “Guess we’re hitting it up pretty good for a couple o’ old birds, eh?”
“Uh-huh,” admitted Joe.
“This is a mighty57 pretty place. Look, you can see the lake down through the trees. I tell you, Joe, you don’t appreciate how lucky you are to live in woods like this, instead of a city with trolleys58 grinding and typewriters clacking and people bothering the life out of you all the time! I wish I knew the woods like you do. Say, what’s the name of that little red flower?”
Rubbing his back, Joe regarded the flower resentfully “Well, some folks call it one thing and some calls it another I always just call it Pink Flower.”
Babbitt blessedly ceased thinking as tramping turned into blind plodding59. He was submerged in weariness. His plump legs seemed to go on by themselves, without guidance, and he mechanically wiped away the sweat which stung his eyes. He was too tired to be consciously glad as, after a sun-scourged mile of corduroy tote-road through a swamp where flies hovered60 over a hot waste of brush, they reached the cool shore of Box Car Pond. When he lifted the pack from his back he staggered from the change in balance, and for a moment could not stand erect61. He lay beneath an ample-bosomed maple62 tree near the guest-shack, and joyously63 felt sleep running through his veins64.
He awoke toward dusk, to find Joe efficiently65 cooking bacon and eggs and flapjacks for supper, and his admiration66 of the woodsman returned. He sat on a stump67 and felt virile68.
“Joe, what would you do if you had a lot of money? Would you stick to guiding, or would you take a claim ‘way back in the woods and be independent of people?”
For the first time Joe brightened. He chewed his cud a second, and bubbled, “I’ve often thought of that! If I had the money, I’d go down to Tinker’s Falls and open a swell69 shoe store.”
After supper Joe proposed a game of stud-poker but Babbitt refused with brevity, and Joe contentedly70 went to bed at eight. Babbitt sat on the stump, facing the dark pond, slapping mosquitos. Save the snoring guide, there was no other human being within ten miles. He was lonelier than he had ever been in his life. Then he was in Zenith.
He was worrying as to whether Miss McGoun wasn’t paying too much for carbon paper. He was at once resenting and missing the persistent53 teasing at the Roughnecks’ Table. He was wondering what Zilla Riesling was doing now. He was wondering whether, after the summer’s maturity71 of being a garageman, Ted would “get busy” in the university. He was thinking of his wife. “If she would only — if she wouldn’t be so darn satisfied with just settling down — No! I won’t! I won’t go back! I’ll be fifty in three years. Sixty in thirteen years. I’m going to have some fun before it’s too late. I don’t care! I will!”
He thought of Ida Putiak, of Louetta Swanson, of that nice widow — what was her name?— Tanis Judique?— the one for whom he’d found the flat. He was enmeshed in imaginary conversations. Then:
“Gee, I can’t seem to get away from thinking about folks!”
Thus it came to him merely to run away was folly72, because he could never run away from himself.
That moment he started for Zenith. In his journey there was no appearance of flight, but he was fleeing, and four days afterward73 he was on the Zenith train. He knew that he was slinking back not because it was what he longed to do but because it was all he could do. He scanned again his discovery that he could never run away from Zenith and family and office, because in his own brain he bore the office and the family and every street and disquiet74 and illusion of Zenith.
“But I’m going to — oh, I’m going to start something!” he vowed, and he tried to make it valiant75.
收听单词发音 |
1
determined
|
|
| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
idiotic
|
|
| adj.白痴的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
misery
|
|
| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
ted
|
|
| vt.翻晒，撒，撒开 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
regain
|
|
| vt.重新获得，收复，恢复 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
reassuring
|
|
| a.使人消除恐惧和疑虑的，使人放心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
joyful
|
|
| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
squealed
|
|
| v.长声尖叫，用长而尖锐的声音说( squeal的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
dreading
|
|
| v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
ardent
|
|
| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
nagged
|
|
| adj.经常遭责怪的；被压制的；感到厌烦的；被激怒的v.不断地挑剔或批评（某人）( nag的过去式和过去分词 )；不断地烦扰或伤害（某人）；无休止地抱怨；不断指责 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
primitive
|
|
| adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
decided
|
|
| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
lengthy
|
|
| adj.漫长的，冗长的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
meditations
|
|
| 默想( meditation的名词复数 )； 默念； 沉思； 冥想 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
wilderness
|
|
| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
frugally
|
|
| adv. 节约地, 节省地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
scarlet
|
|
| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
aisle
|
|
| n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
melancholy
|
|
| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
shack
|
|
| adj.简陋的小屋，窝棚 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
flannel
|
|
| n.法兰绒；法兰绒衣服 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
decency
|
|
| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
plunge
|
|
| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
wharf
|
|
| n.码头，停泊处 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
spat
|
|
| n.口角，掌击；v.发出呼噜呼噜声 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
rustled
|
|
| v.发出沙沙的声音( rustle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
trout
|
|
| n.鳟鱼；鲑鱼(属) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
greasy
|
|
| adj. 多脂的，油脂的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
grunted
|
|
| （猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
clatter
|
|
| v./n.(使)发出连续而清脆的撞击声 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
reeking
|
|
| v.发出浓烈的臭气( reek的现在分词 )；散发臭气；发出难闻的气味 (of sth)；明显带有（令人不快或生疑的跡象） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
aces
|
|
| abbr.adjustable convertible-rate equity security (units) 可调节的股本证券兑换率；aircraft ejection seat 飞机弹射座椅；automatic control evaluation simulator 自动控制评估模拟器n.擅长…的人( ace的名词复数 )；精于…的人；（ 网球 ）（对手接不到发球的）发球得分；爱司球 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
fragrant
|
|
| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
planks
|
|
| （厚）木板( plank的名词复数 )； 政纲条目，政策要点 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
eddied
|
|
| 起漩涡，旋转( eddy的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
gasping
|
|
| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
steadily
|
|
| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
discoursing
|
|
| 演说（discourse的现在分词形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
remarkable
|
|
| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
poking
|
|
| n. 刺，戳，袋 vt. 拨开，刺，戳 vi. 戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
imperturbable
|
|
| adj.镇静的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
dwarfed
|
|
| vt.（使）显得矮小（dwarf的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
awed
|
|
| adj.充满敬畏的，表示敬畏的v.使敬畏，使惊惧( awe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
insignificance
|
|
| n.不重要；无价值；无意义 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
vowed
|
|
| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
yelping
|
|
| v.发出短而尖的叫声( yelp的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
bust
|
|
| vt.打破；vi.爆裂；n.半身像；胸部 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
touchy
|
|
| adj.易怒的；棘手的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
wrath
|
|
| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
persistently
|
|
| ad.坚持地；固执地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
persistent
|
|
| adj.坚持不懈的，执意的；持续的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
groves
|
|
| 树丛，小树林( grove的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
credulous
|
|
| adj.轻信的，易信的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
chuckled
|
|
| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
mighty
|
|
| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
trolleys
|
|
| n.（两轮或四轮的）手推车( trolley的名词复数 )；装有脚轮的小台车；电车 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
plodding
|
|
| a.proceeding in a slow or dull way | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
hovered
|
|
| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
erect
|
|
| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
maple
|
|
| n.槭树，枫树，槭木 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
joyously
|
|
| ad.快乐地, 高兴地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
veins
|
|
| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
efficiently
|
|
| adv.高效率地，有能力地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
66
admiration
|
|
| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
67
stump
|
|
| n.残株，烟蒂，讲演台；v.砍断，蹒跚而走 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
68
virile
|
|
| adj.男性的；有男性生殖力的；有男子气概的；强有力的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
69
swell
|
|
| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
70
contentedly
|
|
| adv.心满意足地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
71
maturity
|
|
| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
72
folly
|
|
| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
73
afterward
|
|
| adv.后来；以后 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
74
disquiet
|
|
| n.担心，焦虑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
75
valiant
|
|
| adj.勇敢的，英勇的；n.勇士，勇敢的人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |