My sister Clara is four years younger than I am. In form of face, in complexion1, and — except the eyes — in features, she bears a striking resemblance to my father. Her expressions however, must be very like what my mother’s was. Whenever I have looked at her in her silent and thoughtful moments, she has always appeared to freshen, and even to increase, my vague, childish recollections of our lost mother. Her eyes have that slight tinge2 of melancholy3 in their tenderness, and that peculiar4 softness in their repose5, which is only seen in blue eyes. Her complexion, pale as my father’s when she is neither speaking nor moving, has in a far greater degree than his the tendency to flush, not merely in moments of agitation7, but even when she is walking, or talking on any subject that interests her. Without this peculiarity8 her paleness would be a defect. With it, the absence of any colour in her complexion but the fugitive9 uncertain colour which I have described, would to some eyes debar her from any claims to beauty. And a beauty perhaps she is not — at least, in the ordinary acceptation of the term.
The lower part of her face is rather too small for the upper, her figure is too slight, the sensitiveness of her nervous organization is too constantly visible in her actions and her looks. She would not fix attention and admiration10 in a box at the opera; very few men passing her in the street would turn round to look after her; very few women would regard her with that slightingly attentive11 stare, that steady depreciating12 scrutiny13, which a dashing decided14 beauty so often receives (and so often triumphs in receiving) from her personal inferiors among her own sex. The greatest charms that my sister has on the surface, come from beneath it.
When you really knew her, when she spoke15 to you freely, as to a friend — then, the attraction of her voice, her smile her manner, impressed you indescribably. Her slightest words and her commonest actions interested and delighted you, you knew not why. There was a beauty about her unassuming simplicity16, her natural — exquisitely17 natural — kindness of heart, and word, and manner, which preserved its own unobtrusive influence over you, in spite of all other rival influences, be they what they might. You missed and thought of her, when you were fresh from the society of the most beautiful and the most brilliant women. You remembered a few kind, pleasant words of hers when you forgot the wit of the wittiest18 ladies, the learning of the most learned. The influence thus possessed19, and unconsciously possessed, by my sister over every one with whom she came in contact — over men especially — may, I think be very simply accounted for, in very few sentences.
We live in an age when too many women appear to be ambitious of morally unsexing themselves before society, by aping the language and the manners of men — especially in reference to that miserable20 modern dandyism of demeanour, which aims at repressing all betrayal of warmth of feeling; which abstains21 from displaying any enthusiasm on any subject whatever; which, in short, labours to make the fashionable imperturbability22 of the face the faithful reflection of the fashionable imperturbability of the mind. Women of this exclusively modern order, like to use slang expressions in their conversation; assume a bastard-masculine abruptness23 in their manners, a bastard-masculine licence in their opinions; affect to ridicule24 those outward developments of feeling which pass under the general appellation25 of “sentiment.” Nothing impresses, agitates26, amuses, or delights them in a hearty27, natural, womanly way. Sympathy looks ironical28, if they ever show it: love seems to be an affair of calculation, or mockery, or contemptuous sufferance, if they ever feel it.
To women such as these, my sister Clara presented as complete a contrast as could well be conceived. In this contrast lay the secret of her influence, of the voluntary tribute of love and admiration which followed her wherever she went.
Few men have not their secret moments of deep feeling — moments when, amid the wretched trivialities and hypocrisies29 of modern society, the image will present itself to their minds of some woman, fresh, innocent, gentle, sincere; some woman whose emotions are still warm and impressible, whose affections and sympathies can still appear in her actions, and give the colour to her thoughts; some woman in whom we could put as perfect faith and trust, as if we were children; whom we despair of finding near the hardening influences of the world; whom we could scarcely venture to look for, except in solitary31 places far away in the country; in little rural shrines32, shut up from society, among woods and fields, and lonesome boundary-hills. When any women happen to realise, or nearly to realise, such an image as this, they possess that universal influence which no rivalry33 can ever approach. On them really depends, and by then is really preserved, that claim upon the sincere respect and admiration of men, on which the power of the whole sex is based — the power so often assumed by the many, so rarely possessed but by the few.
It was thus with my sister. Thus, wherever she went, though without either the inclination34, or the ambition to shine, she eclipsed women who were her superiors in beauty, in accomplishments35, in brilliancy of manners and conversation — conquering by no other weapon than the purely36 feminine charm of everything she said, and everything she did.
But it was not amid the gaiety and grandeur37 of a London season that her character was displayed to the greatest advantage. It was when she was living where she loved to live, in the old country-house, among the old friends and old servants who would every one of them have died a hundred deaths for her sake, that you could study and love her best. Then, the charm there was in the mere6 presence of the kind, gentle, happy young English girl, who could enter into everybody’s interests, and be grateful for everybody’s love, possessed its best and brightest influence. At picnics, lawn-parties, little country gatherings38 of all sorts, she was, in her own quiet, natural manner, always the presiding spirit of general comfort and general friendship. Even the rigid39 laws of country punctilio relaxed before her unaffected cheerfulness and irresistible40 good-nature. She always contrived41 — nobody ever knew how — to lure42 the most formal people into forgetting their formality, and becoming natural for the rest of the day. Even a heavy-headed, lumbering43, silent country squire44 was not too much for her. She managed to make him feel at his ease, when no one else would undertake the task; she could listen patiently to his confused speeches about dogs, horses, and the state of the crops, when other conversations were proceeding45 in which she was really interested; she could receive any little grateful attention that he wished to pay her — no matter how awkward or ill-timed — as she received attentions from any one else, with a manner which showed she considered it as a favour granted to her sex, not as a right accorded to it.
So, again, she always succeeded in diminishing the long list of those pitiful affronts46 and offences, which play such important parts in the social drama of country society. She was a perfect Apostle-errant of the order of Reconciliation47; and wherever she went, cast out the devil Sulkiness from all his strongholds — the lofty and the lowly alike. Our good rector used to call her his Volunteer Curate; and declare that she preached by a timely word, or a persuasive48 look, the best practical sermons on the blessings49 of peace-making that were ever composed.
With all this untiring good-nature, with all this resolute50 industry in the task of making every one happy whom she approached, there was mingled51 some indescribable influence, which invariably preserved her from the presumption52, even of the most presuming people. I never knew anybody venturesome enough — either by word or look — to take a liberty with her. There was something about her which inspired respect as well as love. My father, following the bent53 of his peculiar and favourite ideas, always thought it was the look of her race in her eyes, the ascendancy54 of her race in her manners. I believe it to have proceeded from a simpler and a better cause. There is a goodness of heart, which carries the shield of its purity over the open hand of its kindness: and that goodness was hers.
To my father, she was more, I believe, than he himself ever imagined — or will ever know, unless he should lose her. He was often, in his intercourse55 with the world, wounded severely56 enough in his peculiar prejudices and peculiar refinements57 — he was always sure to find the first respected, and the last partaken by her. He could trust in her implicitly58, he could feel assured that she was not only willing, but able, to share and relieve his domestic troubles and anxieties. If he had been less fretfully anxious about his eldest59 son; if he had wisely distrusted from the first his own powers of persuading and reforming, and had allowed Clara to exercise her influence over Ralph more constantly and more completely than he really did, I am persuaded that the long-expected epoch60 of my brother’s transformation61 would have really arrived by this time, or even before it.
The strong and deep feelings of my sister’s nature lay far below the surface — for a woman, too far below it. Suffering was, for her, silent, secret, long enduring; often almost entirely62 void of outward vent30 or development. I never remember seeing her in tears, except on rare and very serious occasions. Unless you looked at her narrowly, you would judge her to be little sensitive to ordinary griefs and troubles. At such times, her eyes only grew dimmer and less animated63 than usual; the paleness of her complexion became rather more marked; her lips closed and trembled involuntarily — but this was all: there was no sighing, no weeping, no speaking even. And yet she suffered acutely. The very strength of her emotions was in their silence and their secresy. I, of all others — I, guilty of infecting with my anguish64 the pure heart that loved me — ought to know this best!
How long I might linger over all that she has done for me! As I now approach nearer and nearer to the pages which are to reveal my fatal story, so I am more and more tempted65 to delay over those better and purer remembrances of my sister which now occupy my mind. The first little presents — innocent girlish presents — which she secretly sent to me at school; the first sweet days of our uninterrupted intercourse, when the close of my college life restored me to home; her first inestimable sympathies with my first fugitive vanities of embryo66 authorship, are thronging67 back fast and fondly on my thoughts, while I now write.
But these memories must be calmed and disciplined. I must be collected and impartial68 over my narrative69 — if it be only to make that narrative show fairly and truly, without suppression or exaggeration, all that I have owed to her.
Not merely all that I have owed to her; but all that I owe to her now. Though I may never see her again, but in my thoughts; still she influences, comforts, cheers me on to hope, as if she were already the guardian70 spirit of the cottage where I live. Even in my worst moments of despair, I can still remember that Clara is thinking of me and sorrowing for me: I can still feel that remembrance, as an invisible hand of mercy which supports me, sinking; which raises me, fallen; which may yet lead me safely and tenderly to my hard journey’s end.
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complexion
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| n.肤色；情况，局面；气质，性格 | |
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tinge
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| vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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peculiarity
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| n.独特性，特色；特殊的东西；怪癖 | |
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fugitive
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| adj.逃亡的，易逝的；n.逃犯，逃亡者 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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depreciating
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| v.贬值，跌价，减价( depreciate的现在分词 )；贬低，蔑视，轻视 | |
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scrutiny
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| n.详细检查，仔细观察 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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exquisitely
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| adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地 | |
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wittiest
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| 机智的，言辞巧妙的，情趣横生的( witty的最高级 ) | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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abstains
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| 戒（尤指酒），戒除( abstain的第三人称单数 )； 弃权（不投票） | |
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imperturbability
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| n.冷静；沉着 | |
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abruptness
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| n. 突然，唐突 | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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appellation
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| n.名称，称呼 | |
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agitates
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| 搅动( agitate的第三人称单数 )； 激怒； 使焦虑不安； （尤指为法律、社会状况的改变而）激烈争论 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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ironical
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| adj.讽刺的，冷嘲的 | |
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hypocrisies
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| n.伪善，虚伪( hypocrisy的名词复数 ) | |
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vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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shrines
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| 圣地，圣坛，神圣场所( shrine的名词复数 ) | |
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rivalry
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| n.竞争，竞赛，对抗 | |
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inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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accomplishments
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| n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就 | |
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purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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grandeur
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| n.伟大，崇高，宏伟，庄严，豪华 | |
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gatherings
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| 聚集( gathering的名词复数 )； 收集； 采集； 搜集 | |
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rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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lure
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| n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引 | |
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lumbering
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| n.采伐林木 | |
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squire
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| n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
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proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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affronts
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| n.（当众）侮辱，（故意）冒犯( affront的名词复数 )v.勇敢地面对( affront的第三人称单数 )；相遇 | |
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reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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persuasive
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| adj.有说服力的，能说得使人相信的 | |
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blessings
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| n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福 | |
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resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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51
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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52
presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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ascendancy
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| n.统治权，支配力量 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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refinements
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| n.（生活）风雅；精炼( refinement的名词复数 )；改良品；细微的改良；优雅或高贵的动作 | |
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implicitly
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| adv. 含蓄地, 暗中地, 毫不保留地 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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epoch
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| n.(新)时代；历元 | |
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transformation
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| n.变化；改造；转变 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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animated
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| adj.生气勃勃的，活跃的，愉快的 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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embryo
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| n.胚胎，萌芽的事物 | |
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thronging
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| v.成群，挤满( throng的现在分词 ) | |
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impartial
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| adj.(in,to)公正的，无偏见的 | |
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narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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