When a family is possessed1 of large landed property, the individual of that family who shows least interest in its welfare; who is least fond of home, least connected by his own sympathies with his relatives, least ready to learn his duties or admit his responsibilities, is often that very individual who is to succeed to the family inheritance — the eldest2 son.
My brother Ralph was no exception to this remark. We were educated together. After our education was completed, I never saw him, except for short periods. He was almost always on the continent, for some years after he left college. And when he returned definitely to England, he did not return to live under our roof. Both in town and country he was our visitor, not our inmate3.
I recollect4 him at school — stronger, taller, handsomer than I was; far beyond me in popularity among the little community we lived with; the first to lead a daring exploit, the last to abandon it; now at the bottom of the class, now at the top — just that sort of gay, boisterous5, fine-looking, dare-devil boy, whom old people would instinctively6 turn round and smile after, as they passed him by in a morning walk.
Then, at college, he became illustrious among rowers and cricketers, renowned7 as a pistol shot, dreaded8 as a singlestick player. No wine parties in the university were such wine parties as his; tradesmen gave him the first choice of everything that was new; young ladies in the town fell in love with him by dozens; young tutors with a tendency to dandyism, copied the cut of his coat and the tie of his cravat9; even the awful heads of houses looked leniently10 on his delinquencies. The gay, hearty11, handsome young English gentleman carried a charm about him that subdued12 everybody. Though I was his favourite butt13, both at school and college, I never quarrelled with him in my life. I always let him ridicule14 my dress, manners, and habits in his own reckless, boisterous way, as if it had been a part of his birthright privilege to laugh at me as much as he chose.
Thus far, my father had no worse anxieties about him than those occasioned by his high spirits and his heavy debts. But when he returned home — when the debts had been paid, and it was next thought necessary to drill the free, careless energies into something like useful discipline — then my father’s trials and difficulties began in earnest.
It was impossible to make Ralph comprehend and appreciate his position, as he was desired to comprehend and appreciate it. The steward15 gave up in despair all attempts to enlighten him about the extent, value, and management of the estates he was to inherit. A vigorous effort was made to inspire him with ambition; to get him to go into parliament. He laughed at the idea. A commission in the Guards was next offered to him. He refused it, because he would never be buttoned up in a red coat; because he would submit to no restraints, fashionable or military; because in short, he was determined17 to be his own master. My father talked to him by the hour together, about his duties and his prospects18, the cultivation19 of his mind, and the example of his ancestors; and talked in vain. He yawned and fidgetted over the emblazoned pages of his own family pedigree, whenever they were opened before him.
In the country, he cared for nothing but hunting and shooting — it was as difficult to make him go to a grand county dinner-party, as to make him go to church. In town, he haunted the theatres, behind the scenes as well as before; entertained actors and actresses at Richmond; ascended20 in balloons at Vauxhall; went about with detective policemen, seeing life among pickpockets21 and housebreakers; belonged to a whist club, a supper club, a catch club, a boxing club, a picnic club, an amateur theatrical22 club; and, in short, lived such a careless, convivial23 life, that my father, outraged24 in every one of his family prejudices and family refinements25, almost ceased to speak to him, and saw him as rarely as possible. Occasionally, my sister’s interference reconciled them again for a short time; her influence, gentle as it was, was always powerfully felt for good, but she could not change my brother’s nature. Persuade and entreat26 as anxiously as she might, he was always sure to forfeit27 the paternal28 favour again, a few days after he had been restored to it.
At last, matters were brought to their climax29 by an awkward love adventure of Ralph’s with one of our tenants’ daughters. My father acted with his usual decision on the occasion. He determined to apply a desperate remedy: to let the refractory30 eldest son run through his career in freedom, abroad, until he had well wearied himself, and could return home a sobered man. Accordingly, he procured31 for my brother an attache’s place in a foreign embassy, and insisted on his leaving England forthwith. For once in a way, Ralph was docile33. He knew and cared nothing about diplomacy34; but he liked the idea of living on the continent, so he took his leave of home with his best grace. My father saw him depart, with ill-concealed agitation35 and apprehension36; although he affected37 to feel satisfied that, flighty and idle as Ralph was, he was incapable38 of voluntarily dishonouring39 his family, even in his most reckless moods.
After this, we heard little from my brother. His letters were few and short, and generally ended with petitions for money. The only important news of him that reached us, reached us through public channels.
He was making quite a continental40 reputation — a reputation, the bare mention of which made my father wince41. He had fought a duel42; he had imported a new dance from Hungary; he had contrived43 to get the smallest groom44 that ever was seen behind a cabriolet; he had carried off the reigning45 beauty among the opera-dancers of the day from all competitors; a great French cook had composed a great French dish, and christened it by his name; he was understood to be the “unknown friend,” to whom a literary Polish countess had dedicated46 her “Letters against the restraint of the Marriage Tie;” a female German metaphysician, sixty years old, had fallen (Platonically) in love with him, and had taken to writing erotic romances in her old age. Such were some of the rumours47 that reached my father’s ears on the subject of his son and heir!
After a long absence, he came home on a visit. How well I remember the astonishment48 he produced in the whole household! He had become a foreigner in manners and appearance. His mustachios were magnificent; miniature toys in gold and jewellery hung in clusters from his watch-chain; his shirt-front was a perfect filigree49 of lace and cambric. He brought with him his own boxes of choice liqueurs and perfumes; his own smart, impudent50, French valet; his own travelling bookcase of French novels, which he opened with his own golden key. He drank nothing but chocolate in the morning; he had long interviews with the cook, and revolutionized our dinner table. All the French newspapers were sent to him by a London agent. He altered the arrangements of his bed-room; no servant but his own valet was permitted to enter it. Family portraits that hung there, were turned to the walls, and portraits of French actresses and Italian singers were stuck to the back of the canvasses51. Then he displaced a beautiful little ebony cabinet which had been in the family three hundred years; and set up in its stead a Cyprian temple of his own, in miniature, with crystal doors, behind which hung locks of hair, rings, notes written on blush-coloured paper, and other love-tokens kept as sentimental52 relics53. His influence became all-pervading among us. He seemed to communicate to the house the change that had taken place in himself, from the reckless, racketty young Englishman to the super-exquisite foreign dandy. It was as if the fiery54, effervescent atmosphere of the Boulevards of Paris had insolently55 penetrated56 into the old English mansion57, and ruffled58 and infected its quiet native air, to the remotest corners of the place.
My father was even more dismayed than displeased59 by the alteration60 in my brother’s habits and manners — the eldest son was now farther from his ideal of what an eldest son should be, than ever. As for friends and neighbours, Ralph was heartily61 feared and disliked by them, before he had been in the house a week. He had an ironically patient way of listening to their conversation; an ironically respectful manner of demolishing62 their old-fashioned opinions, and correcting their slightest mistakes, which secretly aggravated63 them beyond endurance. It was worse still, when my father, in despair, tried to tempt16 him into marriage, as the one final chance of working his reform; and invited half the marriageable young ladies of our acquaintance to the house, for his especial benefit.
Ralph had never shown much fondness at home, for the refinements of good female society. Abroad, he had lived as exclusively as he possibly could, among women whose characters ranged downwards64 by infinitesimal degrees, from the mysteriously doubtful to the notoriously bad. The highly-bred, highly-refined, highly-accomplished young English beauties had no charm for him. He detected at once the domestic conspiracy65 of which he was destined66 to become the victim. He often came up-stairs, at night, into my bed-room; and while he was amusing himself by derisively67 kicking about my simple clothes and simple toilette apparatus68; while he was laughing in his old careless way at my quiet habits and monotonous69 life, used to slip in, parenthetically, all sorts of sarcasms70 about our young lady guests. To him, their manners were horribly inanimate; their innocence71, hypocrisy72 of education. Pure complexions73 and regular features were very well, he said, as far as they went; but when a girl could not walk properly, when she shook hands with you with cold fingers, when having good eyes she could not make a stimulating74 use of them, then it was time to sentence the regular features and pure complexions to be taken back forthwith to the nursery from which they came. For his part, he missed the conversation of his witty75 Polish Countess, and longed for another pancake-supper with his favourite grisettes.
The failure of my father’s last experiment with Ralph soon became apparent. Watchful76 and experienced mothers began to suspect that my brother’s method of flirtation77 was dangerous, and his style of waltzing improper78. One or two ultra-cautious parents, alarmed by the laxity of his manners and opinions, removed their daughters out of harm’s way, by shortening their visits. The rest were spared any such necessity. My father suddenly discovered that Ralph was devoting himself rather too significantly to a young married woman who was staying in the house. The same day he had a long private interview with my brother. What passed between them, I know not; but it must have been something serious. Ralph came out of my father’s private study, very pale and very silent; ordered his luggage to be packed directly; and the next morning departed, with his French valet, and his multifarious French goods and chattels79, for the continent.
Another interval80 passed; and then we had another short visit from him. He was still unaltered. My father’s temper suffered under this second disappointment. He became more fretful and silent; more apt to take offence than had been his wont81. I particularly mention the change thus produced in his disposition82, because that change was destined, at no very distant period, to act fatally upon me.
On this last occasion, also, there was another serious disagreement between father and son; and Ralph left England again in much the same way that he had left it before.
Shortly after that second departure, we heard that he had altered his manner of life. He had contracted, what would be termed in the continental code of morals, a reformatory attachment83 to a woman older than himself, who was living separated from her husband, when he met with her. It was this lady’s lofty ambition to be Mentor84 and mistress, both together! And she soon proved herself to be well qualified85 for her courageous86 undertaking87. To the astonishment of everyone who knew him, Ralph suddenly turned economical; and, soon afterwards, actually resigned his post at the embassy, to be out of the way of temptation! Since that, he has returned to England; has devoted88 himself to collecting snuff-boxes and learning the violin; and is now living quietly in the suburbs of London, still under the inspection89 of the resolute90 female missionary91 who first worked his reform.
Whether he will ever become the high-minded, high-principled country gentleman, that my father has always desired to see him, it is useless for me to guess. On the domains92 which he is to inherit, I shall never perhaps set foot again: in the halls where he will one day preside as master, I shall never more be sheltered. Let me now quit the subject of my elder brother, and turn to a theme which is nearer to my heart; dear to me as the last remembrance left that I can love; precious beyond all treasures in my solitude93 and my exile from home.
My sister!— well may I linger over your beloved name in such a record as this. A little farther on, and the darkness of crime and grief will encompass94 me; here, my recollections of you kindle95 like a pure light before my eyes — doubly pure by contrast with what lies beyond. May your kind eyes, love, be the first that fall on these pages, when the writer has parted from them for ever! May your tender hand be the first that touches these leaves, when mine is cold! Backward in my narrative96, Clara, wherever I have but casually97 mentioned my sister, the pen has trembled and stood still. At this place, where all my remembrances of you throng98 upon me unrestrained, the tears gather fast and thick beyond control; and for the first time since I began my task, my courage and my calmness fail me.
It is useless to persevere99 longer. My hand trembles; my eyes grow dimmer and dimmer. I must close my labours for the day, and go forth32 to gather strength and resolution for to-morrow on the hill-tops that overlook the sea.
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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inmate
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| n.被收容者；(房屋等的)居住人；住院人 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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boisterous
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| adj.喧闹的，欢闹的 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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renowned
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| adj.著名的，有名望的，声誉鹊起的 | |
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dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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cravat
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| n.领巾，领结；v.使穿有领结的服装，使结领结 | |
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leniently
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| 温和地，仁慈地 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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butt
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| n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶 | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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steward
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| n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员 | |
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tempt
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| vt.引诱，勾引，吸引，引起…的兴趣 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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cultivation
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| n.耕作，培养，栽培（法），养成 | |
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ascended
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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pickpockets
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| n.扒手( pickpocket的名词复数 ) | |
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theatrical
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| adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的 | |
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convivial
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| adj.狂欢的，欢乐的 | |
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outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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refinements
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| n.（生活）风雅；精炼( refinement的名词复数 )；改良品；细微的改良；优雅或高贵的动作 | |
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entreat
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| v.恳求，恳请 | |
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forfeit
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| vt.丧失；n.罚金，罚款，没收物 | |
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paternal
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| adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的 | |
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climax
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| n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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refractory
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| adj.倔强的，难驾驭的 | |
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procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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docile
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| adj.驯服的，易控制的，容易教的 | |
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diplomacy
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| n.外交；外交手腕，交际手腕 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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dishonouring
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| 使（人、家族等）丧失名誉（dishonour的现在分词形式） | |
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continental
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| adj.大陆的，大陆性的，欧洲大陆的 | |
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wince
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| n.畏缩，退避，（因痛苦，苦恼等)面部肌肉抽动；v.畏缩，退缩，退避 | |
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duel
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| n./v.决斗；(双方的)斗争 | |
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contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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groom
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| vt.给（马、狗等）梳毛，照料，使...整洁 | |
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reigning
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| adj.统治的，起支配作用的 | |
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dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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rumours
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| n.传闻( rumour的名词复数 )；风闻；谣言；谣传 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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filigree
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| n.金银丝做的工艺品；v.用金银细丝饰品装饰；用华而不实的饰品装饰；adj.金银细丝工艺的 | |
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impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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canvasses
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| n.检票员，游说者，推销员( canvass的名词复数 )v.（在政治方面）游说( canvass的第三人称单数 )；调查（如选举前选民的）意见；为讨论而提出（意见等）；详细检查 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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relics
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| [pl.］n.遗物，遗迹，遗产；遗体，尸骸 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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insolently
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| adv.自豪地，自傲地 | |
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penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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displeased
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| a.不快的 | |
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alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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demolishing
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| v.摧毁( demolish的现在分词 )；推翻；拆毁（尤指大建筑物）；吃光 | |
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aggravated
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| 使恶化( aggravate的过去式和过去分词 )； 使更严重； 激怒； 使恼火 | |
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downwards
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| adj./adv.向下的（地），下行的（地） | |
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conspiracy
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| n.阴谋，密谋，共谋 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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derisively
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| adv. 嘲笑地，嘲弄地 | |
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apparatus
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| n.装置，器械；器具，设备 | |
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monotonous
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| adj.单调的，一成不变的，使人厌倦的 | |
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sarcasms
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| n.讥讽，讽刺，挖苦( sarcasm的名词复数 ) | |
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innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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complexions
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| 肤色( complexion的名词复数 )； 面色； 局面； 性质 | |
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stimulating
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| adj.有启发性的，能激发人思考的 | |
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witty
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| adj.机智的，风趣的 | |
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watchful
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| adj.注意的，警惕的 | |
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flirtation
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| n.调情，调戏，挑逗 | |
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improper
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| adj.不适当的，不合适的，不正确的，不合礼仪的 | |
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chattels
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| n.动产，奴隶( chattel的名词复数 ) | |
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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81
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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mentor
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| n.指导者，良师益友；v.指导 | |
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qualified
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| adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的 | |
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courageous
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| adj.勇敢的，有胆量的 | |
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undertaking
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| n.保证，许诺，事业 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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resolute
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| adj.坚决的，果敢的 | |
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missionary
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| adj.教会的，传教(士)的；n.传教士 | |
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92
domains
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| n.范围( domain的名词复数 )；领域；版图；地产 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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encompass
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| vt.围绕，包围；包含，包括；完成 | |
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kindle
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| v.点燃，着火 | |
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narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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persevere
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| v.坚持，坚忍，不屈不挠 | |
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