Last Sunday week, being at church in this city, and the service just ended, I heard two Snobs2 conversing3 about the Parson. One was asking the other who the clergyman was? ‘He is Mr. So-and-so,’ the second Snob1 answered, ‘domestic chaplain to the Earl of What-d’ye-call’im.’ ‘Oh, is he’ said the first Snob, with a tone of indescribable satisfaction.— The Parson’s orthodoxy and identity were at once settled in this Snob’s mind. He knew no more about the Earl than about the Chaplain, but he took the latter’s character upon the authority of the former; and went home quite contented4 with his Reverence5, like a little truckling Snob.
This incident gave me more matter for reflection even than the sermon: and wonderment at the extent and prevalence of Lordolatory in this country. What could it matter to Snob whether his Reverence were chaplain to his Lordship or not? What Peerageworship there is all through this free country! How we are all implicated6 in it, and more or less down on our knees.— And with regard to the great subject on hand, I think that the influence of the Peerage upon Snobbishness7 has been more remarkable8 than that of any other institution. The increase, encouragement, and maintenance of Snobs are among the ‘priceless services,’ as Lord John Russell says, which we owe to the nobility.
It can’t be otherwise. A man becomes enormously rich, or he jobs successfully in the aid of a Minister, or he wins a great battle, or executes a treaty, or is a clever lawyer who makes a multitude of fees and ascends9 the bench; and the country rewards him for ever with a gold coronet (with more or less balls or leaves) and a title, and a rank as legislator. ‘Your merits are so great,’ says the nation, ‘that your children shall be allowed to reign10 over us, in a manner. It does not in the least matter that your eldest11 son be a fool: we think your services so remarkable, that he shall have the reversion of your honours when death vacates your noble shoes. If you are poor, we will give you such a sum of money as shall enable you and the eldest-born of your race for ever to live in fat and splendour. It is our wish that there should be a race set apart in this happy country, who shall hold the first rank, have the first prizes and chances in all government jobs and patronages. We cannot make all your dear children Peers — that would make Peerage common and crowd the House of Lords uncomfortably — but the young ones shall have everything a Government can give: they shall get the pick of all the places: they shall be Captains and Lieutenant-Colonels at nineteen, when hoary-headed old lieutenants12 are spending thirty years at drill: they shall command ships at one-and-twenty, and veterans who fought before they were born. And as we are eminently13 a free people, and in order to encourage all men to do their duty, we say to any man of any rank — get enormously rich, make immense fees as a lawyer, or great speeches, or distinguish yourself and win battles — and you, even you, shall come into the privileged class, and your children shall reign naturally over ours.’
How can we help Snobbishness, with such a prodigious14 national institution erected15 for its worship? How can we help cringing16 to Lords? Flesh and blood can’t do otherwise. What man can withstand this prodigious temptation? Inspired by what is called a noble emulation17, some people grasp at honours and win them; others, too weak or mean, blindly admire and grovel18 before those who have gained them; others, not being able to acquire them, furiously hate, abuse, and envy. There are only a few bland19 and not-inthe-least-conceited philosophers, who can behold20 the state of society, viz., Toadyism21, organised:— base Man-and-Mammon worship, instituted by command of law:— Snobbishness, in a word, perpetuated,— and mark the phenomenon calmly. And of these calm moralists, is there one, I wonder, whose heart would not throb22 with pleasure if he could be seen walking arm-inarm with a couple of dukes down Pall23 Mall? No it is impossible in our condition of society, not to be sometimes a Snob.
On one hand it encourages the commoner to be snobbishly24 mean, and the noble to be snobbishly arrogant25. When a noble marchioness writes in her travels about the hard necessity under which steam-boat travellers labour of being brought into contact ‘with all sorts and conditions of people:’ implying that a fellowship with God’s creatures is disagreeable to to her Ladyship, who is their superior:— when, I say, the Marchioness of —— writes in this fashion, we must consider that out of her natural heart it would have been impossible for any woman to have had such a sentiment; but that the habit of truckling and cringing, which all who surround her have adopted towards this beautiful and magnificent lady,— this proprietor26 of so many black and other diamonds,— has really induced her to believe that she is the superior of the world in general: and that people are not to associate with her except awfully27 at a distance. I recollect28 being once at the city of Grand Cairo, through which a European Royal Prince was passing India-wards. One night at the inn there was a great disturbance29: a man had drowned himself in the well hard by: all the inhabitants of the hotel came bustling30 into the Court, and amongst others your humble31 servant, who asked of a certain young man the reason of the disturbance. How was I to know that this young gent was a prince? He had not his crown and sceptre on: he was dressed in a white jacket and felt hat: but he looked surprised at anybody speaking to him: answered an unintelligible32 monosyllable, and — BECKONED33 HIS AID-DE-CAMP TO COME AND SPEAK TO ME. It is our fault, not that of the great, that they should fancy themselves so far above us. If you WILL fling yourself under the wheels, Juggernaut will go over you, depend upon it; and if you and I, my dear friend, had Kotow performed before us every day,— found people whenever we appeared grovelling34 in slavish adoration35, we should drop into the airs of superiority quite naturally, and accept the greatness with which the world insisted upon endowing us.
Here is an instance, out of Lord L——‘s travels, of that calm, good-natured, undoubting way in which a great man accepts the homage36 of his inferiors. After making some profound and ingenious remarks about the town of Brussells, his lordship says:—‘Staying some day at the Hotel de Belle37 Vue, a greatly overrated establishment, and not nearly as comfortable as the Hotel de France — I made acquaintance with Dr. L——, the physician of the Mission. He was desirous of doing the honours of the place to me, and he ordered for us a DINER EN GOURMAND38 at the chief restaurateur’s, maintaining it surpassed the Rocher at Paris. Six or eight partook of the entertainment, and we all agreed it was infinitely39 inferior to the Paris display, and much more extravagant40. So much for the copy.
And so much for the gentleman who gave the dinner. Dr. L——, desirous to do his lordship ‘the honour of the place,’ feasts him with the best victuals41 money can procure42 — and my lord finds the entertainment extravagant and inferior. Extravagant! it was not extravagant to HIM;— Inferior! Mr. L—— did his best to satisfy those noble jaws43, and my lord receives the entertainment, and dismisses the giver with a rebuke44. It is like a three-tailed Pasha grumbling45 about an unsatisfactory backsheesh.
But how should it be otherwise in a country where Lordolatry is part of our creed46, and where our children are brought up to respect the ‘Peerage’ as the Englishman’s second Bible?
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snob
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| n.势利小人，自以为高雅、有学问的人 | |
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snobs
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| （谄上傲下的）势利小人( snob的名词复数 )； 自高自大者，自命不凡者 | |
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conversing
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 ) | |
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contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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implicated
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| adj.密切关联的；牵涉其中的 | |
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snobbishness
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| 势利； 势利眼 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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ascends
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的第三人称单数 ) | |
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reign
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| n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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lieutenants
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| n.陆军中尉( lieutenant的名词复数 )；副职官员；空军；仅低于…官阶的官员 | |
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eminently
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| adv.突出地；显著地；不寻常地 | |
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prodigious
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| adj.惊人的，奇妙的；异常的；巨大的；庞大的 | |
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ERECTED
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| adj. 直立的，竖立的，笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立，建立 | |
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cringing
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| adj.谄媚，奉承 | |
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emulation
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| n.竞争；仿效 | |
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grovel
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| vi.卑躬屈膝，奴颜婢膝 | |
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bland
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| adj.淡而无味的，温和的，无刺激性的 | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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toadyism
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| n.谄媚，奉承 | |
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throb
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| v.震颤，颤动；(急速强烈地)跳动，搏动 | |
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pall
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| v.覆盖，使平淡无味；n.柩衣，棺罩；棺材；帷幕 | |
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snobbishly
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arrogant
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| adj.傲慢的，自大的 | |
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proprietor
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| n.所有人；业主；经营者 | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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bustling
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| adj.喧闹的 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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unintelligible
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| adj.无法了解的，难解的，莫明其妙的 | |
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beckoned
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| v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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grovelling
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| adj.卑下的，奴颜婢膝的v.卑躬屈节，奴颜婢膝( grovel的现在分词 )；趴 | |
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adoration
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| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
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homage
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| n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬 | |
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belle
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| n.靓女 | |
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gourmand
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| n.嗜食者 | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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40
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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41
victuals
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| n.食物；食品 | |
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42
procure
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| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
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43
jaws
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| n.口部；嘴 | |
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44
rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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45
grumbling
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| adj. 喃喃鸣不平的, 出怨言的 | |
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46
creed
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| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
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