Chapter 4 The Court Circular, and Its Influence On Snobs

Example is the best of precepts¹; so let us begin with a true and authentic² story, showing how young aristocratic snobs⁴ are reared, and how early their Snobbishness⁵ may be made to bloom. A beautiful and fashionable lady —(pardon, gracious madam, that your story should be made public; but it is so moral that it ought to be known to the universal world)— told me that in her early youth she had a little acquaintance, who is now indeed a beautiful and fashionable lady too. In mentioning Miss Snobky, daughter of Sir Snobby⁶ Snobky, whose presentation at Court caused such a sensation, need I say more?

When Miss Snobky was so very young as to be in the nursery regions, and to walk off early mornings in St. James’s Park, protected by a French governess and followed by a huge hirsute⁷ flunkey in the canary coloured livery of the Snobkys, she used occasionally in these promenades⁸ to meet with young Lord Claude Lollipop⁹, the Marquis of Sillabub’s younger son. In the very height of the season, from some unexplained cause, the Snobkys suddenly determined¹⁰ upon leaving town. Miss Snobky spoke¹¹ to her female friend and confidante. ‘What will poor Claude Lollipop say when he hears of my absence?’ asked the tender-hearted child.

‘Oh, perhaps he won’t hear of it,’ answers the confidante.

‘MY DEAR, HE WILL READ IT IN THE PAPERS,’ replied the dear little fashionable rogue¹² of seven years old. She knew already her importance, and how all the world of England, how all the would-be-genteel people, how all the silver-fork worshippers, how all the tattle-mongers, how all the grocers’ ladies, the tailors’ ladies, the attorneys’ and merchants’ ladies, and the people living at Clapham and Brunswick Square,— who have no more chance of consorting¹⁴ with a Snobky than my beloved reader has of dining with the Emperor of China — yet watched the movements of the Snobkys with interest and were glad to know when they came to London and left it.

Here is the account of Miss Snobky’s dress, and that of her mother, Lady Snobky, from the papers:—

‘MISS SNOBKY.

Habit de Cour, composed of a yellow nankeen illusion dress over a slip of rich pea-green corduroy, trimmed en tablier, with bouquets¹⁵ of Brussels sprouts¹⁶: the body and sleeves handsomely trimmed with calimanco, and festooned with a pink train and white radishes. Head-dress, carrots and lappets.

‘LADY SNOBKY.

‘Costume de Cour, composed of a train of the most superb Pekin bandannas¹⁷, elegantly trimmed with spangles, tinfoil¹⁸, and red-tape. Bodice and underdress of sky-blue velveteen, trimmed with bouffants and noeuds of bell-pulls. Stomacher a muffin. Head-dress a bird’s nest, with a bird of paradise, over a rich brass¹⁹ knocker en ferroniere. This splendid costume, by Madame Crinoline, of Regent Street, was the object of universal admiration²⁰.’

This is what you read. Oh, Mrs. Ellis! Oh, mothers, daughters, aunts, grandmothers of England, this is the sort of writing which is put in the newspapers for you! How can you help being the mothers, daughters, &c. of Snobs, so long as this balderdash is set before you?

You stuff the little rosy²¹ foot of a Chinese young lady of fashion into a slipper²² that is about the size of a salt-cruet, and keep the poor little toes there imprisoned²³ and twisted up so long that the dwarfishness becomes irremediable. Later, the foot would not expand to the natural size were you to give her a washing-tub for a shoe and for all her life she has little feet, and is a cripple. Oh, my dear Miss Wiggins, thank your stars that those beautiful feet of yours — though I declare when you walk they are so small as to be almost invisible — thank your stars that society never so practised upon them; but look around and see how many friends of ours in the highest circles have had their BRAINS so prematurely²⁴ and hopelessly pinched and distorted.

How can you expect that those poor creatures are to move naturally when the world and their parents have mutilated them so cruelly? As long as a COURT CIRCULAR exists, how the deuce are people whose names are chronicled in it ever to believe themselves the equals of the cringing²⁵ race which daily reads that abominable²⁶ trash? I believe that ours is the only country in the world now where the COURT CIRCULAR remains²⁷ in full flourish — where you read, ‘This day his Royal Highness Prince Pattypan was taken an airing in his go-cart.’ ‘The Princess Pimminy was taken a drive, attended by her ladies of honour, and accompanied by her doll,’ &c. We laugh at the solemnity with which Saint Simon announces that SA MAJESTE SE MEDICAMENTE AUJOURD’HUI. Under our very noses the same folly²⁸ is daily going on. That wonderful and mysterious man, the author of the COURT CIRCULAR, drops in with his budget at the newspaper offices every night. I once asked the editor of a paper to allow me to lie in wait and see him.

I am told that in a kingdom where there is a German King-Consort¹³ (Portugal it must be, for the Queen of that country married a German Prince, who is greatly admired and respected by the natives), whenever the Consort takes the diversion of shooting among the rabbit-warrens of Cintra, or the pheasant-preserve of Mafra, he has a keeper to load his guns, as a matter of course, and then they are handed to the nobleman, his equerry, and the nobleman hands them to the Prince who blazes away — gives back the discharged gun to the nobleman, who gives it to the keeper, and so on. But the Prince WON’T TAKE THE GUN FROM THE HANDS OF THE LOADER.

As long as this unnatural²⁹ and monstrous³⁰ etiquette³¹ continues, Snobs there must be. The three persons engaged in this transaction are, for the time being, Snobs.

1. The keeper — the least Snob³ of all, because he is discharging his daily duty; but he appears here as a Snob, that is to say, in a position of debasement before another human being (the Prince), with whom he is allowed to communicate through another party. A free Portuguese³² gamekeeper, who professes³³ himself to be unworthy to communicate directly with any person, confesses himself to be a Snob.

2. The nobleman in waiting is a Snob. If it degrades the Prince to receive the gun from the gamekeeper, it is degrading to the nobleman in waiting to execute that service. He acts as a Snob towards the keeper, whom he keeps from communication with the Prince — a Snob to the Prince, to whom he pays a degrading homage³⁴.

3. The King-Consort of Portugal is a Snob for insulting fellow-men in this way. There’s no harm in his accepting the services of the keeper directly; but indirectly³⁵ he insults the service performed, and the servants who perform it; and therefore, I say, respectfully, is a most undoubted, though royal Snob.

And then you read in the DIARIO DO GOBERNO—‘Yesterday his Majesty³⁶ the King took the diversion of shooting the woods off Cintra, attended by Colonel the honourable³⁷ Whiskerando Sombrero. His Majesty returned to the Necessidades to lunch, at,’ &c. &c..

Oh! that COURT CIRCULAR! once more, I exclaim.

Down with the COURT CIRCULAR— that engine and propagator of Snobbishness! I promise to subscribe³⁸ for a year to any daily paper that shall come out without a COURT CIRCULAR— were it the MORNING HERALD³⁹ itself. When I read that trash, I rise in my wrath⁴⁰; I feel myself disloyal, a regicide, a member of the Calf’s Head Club. The only COURT CIRCULAR story which ever pleased me, was that of the King of Spain, who in great part was roasted, because there was not time for the Prime Minister to command the Lord Chamberlain to desire the Grand Gold Stick to order the first page in waiting to bid the chief of the flunkeys to request the House-maid of Honour to bring up a pail of water to put his Majesty out.

I am like the Pasha of three tails, to whom the Sultan sends HIS COURT CIRCULAR, the bowstring.

It CHOKES me. May its usage be abolished for ever.

1 precepts   

n.规诫，戒律，箴言( precept的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• They accept the Prophet's precepts but reject some of his strictures. 他们接受先知的教训，但拒绝他的种种约束。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The legal philosopher's concern is to ascertain the true nature of all the precepts and norms. 法哲学家的兴趣在于探寻所有规范和准则的性质。 来自辞典例句

2 authentic   

a.真的，真正的；可靠的，可信的，有根据的

参考例句：

• This is an authentic news report. We can depend on it. 这是篇可靠的新闻报道, 我们相信它。
• Autumn is also the authentic season of renewal. 秋天才是真正的除旧布新的季节。

3 snob   

n.势利小人，自以为高雅、有学问的人

参考例句：

• Going to a private school had made her a snob.上私立学校后，她变得很势利。
• If you think that way, you are a snob already.如果你那样想的话，你已经是势利小人了。

4 snobs   

（谄上傲下的）势利小人( snob的名词复数 )； 自高自大者，自命不凡者

参考例句：

• She dislikes snobs intensely. 她极其厌恶势利小人。
• Most of the people who worshipped her, who read every tidbit about her in the gossip press and hung up pictures of her in their rooms, were not social snobs. 崇敬她大多数的人不会放过每一篇报导她的八卦新闻，甚至在他们的房间中悬挂黛妃的画像，这些人并非都是傲慢成性。

5 snobbishness   

势利； 势利眼

参考例句：

• We disdain a man for his snobbishness. 我们鄙夷势利小人。
• Maybe you have social faults such as snobbishness, talkativeness, and, etc. which drive away new acquaintances. 也许你有社交方面的缺点，诸如势利、饶舌、出语粗俗等，使你的新相识退避三舍。

6 snobby   

a.虚荣的

参考例句：

• Can I really tell my snobby friends that I now shop at-egads-Walmart? 天呐，我真得好意思告诉那帮势利的朋友们我在沃尔玛买东西？

7 hirsute   

adj.多毛的

参考例句：

• He was wearing shorts which showed his long,muscular,hirsute legs.他穿着短裤，露出自己强壮多毛的长腿。
• You're looking very hirsute,Richard are you growing a beard?理查德，瞧你一脸的胡子--是不是在留胡子了？

8 promenades   

n.人行道( promenade的名词复数 )；散步场所；闲逛v.兜风( promenade的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• He often promenades his wife along the Thames Embankment. 他常常带太太沿着泰晤士河堤防散步。 来自辞典例句
• Stoas lined marketplaces and sanctuaries and formed places of Business and public promenades. 柱廊围绕在市场和神庙的四周，是交易和公众散步的场所。 来自互联网

9 lollipop   

n.棒棒糖

参考例句：

• The child put out his tongue and licked his lollipop.那孩子伸出舌头舔着棒棒糖。
• I ate popcorn,banana and lollipop.我吃了爆米花、香蕉和棒棒糖。

10 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

11 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

12 rogue   

n.流氓；v.游手好闲

参考例句：

• The little rogue had his grandpa's glasses on.这淘气鬼带上了他祖父的眼镜。
• They defined him as a rogue.他们确定他为骗子。

13 consort   

v.相伴；结交

参考例句：

• They went in consort two or three together.他们三三两两结伴前往。
• The nurses are instructed not to consort with their patients.护士得到指示不得与病人交往。

14 consorting   

v.结伴( consort的现在分词 )；交往；相称；调和

参考例句：

• He' d been consorting with known criminals. 他一直与那些臭名昭着的罪犯有交往。 来自辞典例句
• Mr. Berlusconi's wife publicly accused him of 'consorting with minors' and demanded a divorce. 贝卢斯科尼的妻子公开指责他“与未成年人交往”，并提出离婚。 来自互联网

15 bouquets   

n.花束( bouquet的名词复数 )；（酒的）芳香

参考例句：

• The welcoming crowd waved their bouquets. 欢迎的群众摇动着花束。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• As the hero stepped off the platform, he was surrounded by several children with bouquets. 当英雄走下讲台时，已被几名手持花束的儿童围住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

16 sprouts   

n.新芽，嫩枝( sprout的名词复数 )v.发芽( sprout的第三人称单数 )；抽芽；出现；（使）涌现出

参考例句：

• The wheat sprouts grew perceptibly after the rain. 下了一场雨，麦苗立刻见长。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• The sprouts have pushed up the earth. 嫩芽把土顶起来了。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

17 bandannas   

n.印花大手帕( bandanna的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Long hair, overalls, bandannas, a Jesus beard on Dad. 长发，工作裤，大手帕，还有父亲的耶稣式胡子。 来自互联网
• They had standard-issue bandannas over their faces. 脸上蒙普通的大花巾。 来自互联网

18 tinfoil   

n.锡纸，锡箔

参考例句：

• You can wrap it up in tinfoil.你可以用锡箔纸裹住它。
• Drop by rounded tablespoon onto tinfoil.Bake for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown.用大餐勺把刚刚搅拌好的糊糊盛到锡纸上，烘烤9至11分钟，直到变成金黄色。

19 brass   

n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器

参考例句：

• Many of the workers play in the factory's brass band.许多工人都在工厂铜管乐队中演奏。
• Brass is formed by the fusion of copper and zinc.黄铜是通过铜和锌的熔合而成的。

20 admiration   

n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕

参考例句：

• He was lost in admiration of the beauty of the scene.他对风景之美赞不绝口。
• We have a great admiration for the gold medalists.我们对金牌获得者极为敬佩。

21 rosy   

adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的

参考例句：

• She got a new job and her life looks rosy.她找到一份新工作，生活看上去很美好。
• She always takes a rosy view of life.她总是对生活持乐观态度。

22 slipper   

n.拖鞋

参考例句：

• I rescued the remains of my slipper from the dog.我从那狗的口中夺回了我拖鞋的残留部分。
• The puppy chewed a hole in the slipper.小狗在拖鞋上啃了一个洞。

23 imprisoned   

下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He was imprisoned for two concurrent terms of 30 months and 18 months. 他被判处30个月和18个月的监禁，合并执行。
• They were imprisoned for possession of drugs. 他们因拥有毒品而被监禁。

24 prematurely   

adv.过早地，贸然地

参考例句：

• She was born prematurely with poorly developed lungs. 她早产，肺部未发育健全。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• His hair was prematurely white, but his busy eyebrows were still jet-black. 他的头发已经白了，不过两道浓眉还是乌黑乌黑的。 来自辞典例句

25 cringing   

adj.谄媚，奉承

参考例句：

• He had a cringing manner but a very harsh voice.他有卑屈谄媚的神情，但是声音却十分粗沙。
• She stepped towards him with a movement that was horribly cringing.她冲他走了一步，做出一个低三下四，令人作呕的动作。

26 abominable   

adj.可厌的，令人憎恶的

参考例句：

• Their cruel treatment of prisoners was abominable.他们虐待犯人的做法令人厌恶。
• The sanitary conditions in this restaurant are abominable.这家饭馆的卫生状况糟透了。

27 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。

28 folly   

n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话

参考例句：

• Learn wisdom by the folly of others.从别人的愚蠢行动中学到智慧。
• Events proved the folly of such calculations.事情的进展证明了这种估计是愚蠢的。

29 unnatural   

adj.不自然的；反常的

参考例句：

• Did her behaviour seem unnatural in any way?她有任何反常表现吗？
• She has an unnatural smile on her face.她脸上挂着做作的微笑。

30 monstrous   

adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的

参考例句：

• The smoke began to whirl and grew into a monstrous column.浓烟开始盘旋上升，形成了一个巨大的烟柱。
• Your behaviour in class is monstrous!你在课堂上的行为真是丢人！

31 etiquette   

n.礼仪，礼节；规矩

参考例句：

• The rules of etiquette are not so strict nowadays.如今的礼仪规则已不那么严格了。
• According to etiquette,you should stand up to meet a guest.按照礼节你应该站起来接待客人。

32 Portuguese   

n.葡萄牙人；葡萄牙语

参考例句：

• They styled their house in the Portuguese manner.他们仿照葡萄牙的风格设计自己的房子。
• Her family is Portuguese in origin.她的家族是葡萄牙血统。

33 professes   

声称( profess的第三人称单数 )； 宣称； 公开表明； 信奉

参考例句：

• She still professes her innocence. 她仍然声称自己无辜。
• He professes himself to be sad but doesn't look it. 他自称感到悲伤，但外表却看不出来。

34 homage   

n.尊敬，敬意，崇敬

参考例句：

• We pay homage to the genius of Shakespeare.我们对莎士比亚的天才表示敬仰。
• The soldiers swore to pay their homage to the Queen.士兵们宣誓效忠于女王陛下。

35 indirectly   

adv.间接地，不直接了当地

参考例句：

• I heard the news indirectly.这消息我是间接听来的。
• They were approached indirectly through an intermediary.通过一位中间人，他们进行了间接接触。

36 majesty   

n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权

参考例句：

• The king had unspeakable majesty.国王有无法形容的威严。
• Your Majesty must make up your mind quickly!尊贵的陛下，您必须赶快做出决定！

37 honourable   

adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的

参考例句：

• I don't think I am worthy of such an honourable title.这样的光荣称号，我可担当不起。
• I hope to find an honourable way of settling difficulties.我希望设法找到一个体面的办法以摆脱困境。

38 subscribe   

vi.(to)订阅，订购；同意；vt.捐助，赞助

参考例句：

• I heartily subscribe to that sentiment.我十分赞同那个观点。
• The magazine is trying to get more readers to subscribe.该杂志正大力发展新订户。

39 herald   

vt.预示...的来临，预告，宣布，欢迎

参考例句：

• In England, the cuckoo is the herald of spring.在英国杜鹃鸟是报春的使者。
• Dawn is the herald of day.曙光是白昼的先驱。

40 wrath   

n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒

参考例句：

• His silence marked his wrath. 他的沉默表明了他的愤怒。
• The wrath of the people is now aroused. 人们被激怒了。