All the men of Saint Boniface will recognize Hugby and Crump in these two pictures. They were tutors in our time, and Crump is since advanced to be President of the College. He was formerly1, and is now, a rich specimen2 of a University Snob3.
At five-and-twenty, Crump invented three new metres, and published an edition of an exceedingly improper4 Greek Comedy, with no less than twenty emendations upon the German text of Schnupfenius and Schnapsius. These Services to religion instantly pointed5 him out for advancement6 in the Church, and he is now President of Saint Boniface, and very narrowly escaped the bench.
Crump thinks Saint Boniface the centre of the world, and his position as President the highest in England. He expects the fellows and tutors to pay him the same sort of service that Cardinals7 pay to the Pope. I am sure Crawler would have no objection to carry his trencher, or Page to hold up the skirts of his gown as he stalks into chapel8. He roars out the responses there as if it were an honour to heaven that the President of Saint Boniface should take a part in the service, and in his own lodge9 and college acknowledges the Sovereign only as his superior.
When the allied10 monarchs11 came down, and were made Doctors of the University, a breakfast was given at Saint Boniface; on which occasion Crump allowed the Emperor Alexander to walk before him, but took the PAS himself of the King of Prussia and Prince Blucher. He was going to put the Hetman Platoff to breakfast at a side-table with the under college tutors; but he was induced to relent, and merely entertained that distinguished12 Cossack with a discourse13 on his own language, in which he showed that the Hetman knew nothing about it.
As for us undergraduates, we scarcely knew more about Crump than about the Grand Llama. A few favoured youths are asked occasionally to tea at the lodge; but they do not speak unless first addressed by the Doctor; and if they venture to sit down, Crump’s follower14, Mr. Toady15, whispers, ‘Gentlemen, will you have the kindness to get up?— The President is passing;’ or ‘Gentlemen, the President prefers that undergraduates should not sit down;’ or words to a similar effect.
To do Crump justice, he does not cringe now to great people. He rather patronizes them than otherwise; and, in London, speaks quite affably to a Duke who has been brought up at his college, or holds out a finger to a Marquis. He does not disguise his own origin, but brags16 of it with considerable self-gratulation:—‘I was a Charity-boy,’ says he; ‘see what I am now; the greatest Greek scholar of the greatest College of the greatest University of the greatest Empire in the world.’ The argument being, that this is a capital world, for beggars, because he, being a beggar, has managed to get on horseback.
Hugby owes his eminence17 to patient merit and agreeable perseverance18. He is a meek19, mild, inoffensive creature, with just enough of scholarship to fit him to hold a lecture, or set an examination paper. He rose by kindness to the aristocracy. It was wonderful to see the way in which that poor creature grovelled20 before a nobleman or a lord’s nephew, or even some noisy and disreputable commoner, the friend of a lord. He used to give the young noblemen the most painful and elaborate breakfasts, and adopt a jaunty21 genteel air, and talk with them (although he was decidedly serious) about the opera, or the last run with the hounds. It was good to watch him in the midst of a circle of young tufts, with his mean, smiling, eager, uneasy familiarity. He used to write home confidential22 letters to their parents, and made it his duty to call upon them when in town, to condole23 or rejoice with them when a death, birth, or marriage took place in their family; and to feast them whenever they came to the University. I recollect24 a letter lying on a desk in his lecture-room for a whole term, beginning, ‘My Lord Duke.’ It was to show us that he corresponded with such dignities.
When the late lamented25 Lord Glenlivat, who broke his neck at a hurdle-race, at the premature26 age of twenty-four, was at the University, the amiable27 young fellow, passing to his rooms in the early morning, and seeing Hugby’s boots at his door, on the same staircase, playfully wadded the insides of the boots with cobbler’s wax, which caused excruciating pains to the Rev28. Mr. Hugby, when he came to take them off the same evening, before dining with the Master of St. Crispin’s.
Everybody gave the credit of this admirable piece of fun to Lord Glenlivat’s friend, Bob Tizzy, who was famous for such feats29, and who had already made away with the college pump-handle; filed St. Boniface’s nose smooth with his face; carried off four images of nigger-boys from the tobacconists; painted the senior proctor’s horse pea-green, &c. &c.; and Bob (who was of the party certainly, and would not peach,) was just on the point of incurring30 expulsion, and so losing the family living which was in store for him, when Glenlivat nobly stepped forward, owned himself to be the author of the delightful31 JEU-D’ESPRIT, apologized to the tutor, and accepted the rustication32.
Hugby cried when Glenlivat apologized; if the young nobleman had kicked him round the court, I believe the tutor would have been happy, so that an apology and a reconciliation33 might subsequently ensue. ‘My lord,’ said he, ‘in your conduct on this and all other occasions, you have acted as becomes a gentleman; you have been an honour to the University, as you will be to the peerage, I am sure, when the amiable vivacity34 of youth is calmed down, and you are called upon to take your proper share in the government of the nation.’ And when his lordship took leave of the University, Hugby presented him with a copy of his ‘Sermons to a Nobleman’s Family’ (Hugby was once private tutor to the Sons of the Earl of Muffborough), which Glenlivat presented in return to Mr. William Ramm, known to the fancy as the Tutbury Pet, and the sermons now figure on the boudoir-table of Mrs. Ramm, behind the bar of her house of entertainment, ‘The Game Cock and Spurs,’ near Woodstock, Oxon.
At the beginning of the long vacation, Hugby comes to town, and puts up in handsome lodgings35 near St. James’s Square; rides in the Park in the afternoon; and is delighted to read his name in the morning papers among the list of persons present at Muffborough House, and the Marquis of Farintosh’s evening-parties. He is a member of Sydney Scraper’s Club, where, however, he drinks his pint36 of claret.
Sometimes you may see him on Sundays, at the hour when tavern37 doors open, whence issue little girls with great jugs38 of porter; when charity-boys walk the streets, bearing brown dishes of smoking shoulders of mutton and baked ‘taturs; when Sheeny and Moses are seen smoking their pipes before their lazy shutters39 in Seven Dials; when a crowd of smiling persons in clean outlandish dresses, in monstrous40 bonnets41 and flaring42 printed gowns, or in crumpled43 glossy44 coats and silks that bear the creases45 of the drawers where they have lain all the week, file down High Street,— sometimes, I say, you may see Hugby coming out of the Church of St. Giles-inthe-Fields, with a stout46 gentlewoman leaning on his arm, whose old face bears an expression of supreme47 pride and happiness as she glances round at all the neighbours, and who faces the curate himself and marches into Holborn, where she pulls the bell of a house over which is inscribed48, ‘Hugby, Haberdasher.’ It is the mother of the Rev. F. Hugby, as proud of her son in his white choker as Cornelia of her jewels at Rome. That is old Hugby bringing up the rear with the Prayer-books, and Betsy Hugby the old maid, his daughter,— old Hugby, Haberdasher and Church-warden.
In the front room upstairs, where the dinner is laid out, there is a picture of Muffborough Castle; of the Earl of Muffborough, K.X., Lord-Lieutenant for Diddlesex; an engraving49, from an almanac, of Saint Boniface College, Oxon; and a sticking-plaster portrait of Hugby when young, in a cap and gown. A copy of his ‘Sermons to a Nobleman’s Family’ is on the bookshelf, by the ‘Whole Duty of Man,’ the Reports of the Missionary50 Societies, and the ‘Oxford University Calendar.’ Old Hugby knows part of this by heart; every living belonging to Saint Boniface, and the name of every tutor, fellow, nobleman, and undergraduate.
He used to go to meeting and preach himself, until his son took orders; but of late the old gentleman has been accused of Puseyism, and is quite pitiless against the Dissenters51.
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formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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specimen
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| n.样本，标本 | |
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snob
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| n.势利小人，自以为高雅、有学问的人 | |
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improper
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| adj.不适当的，不合适的，不正确的，不合礼仪的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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advancement
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| n.前进，促进，提升 | |
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cardinals
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| 红衣主教( cardinal的名词复数 )； 红衣凤头鸟（见于北美，雄鸟为鲜红色）； 基数 | |
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chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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lodge
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| v.临时住宿，寄宿，寄存，容纳；n.传达室，小旅馆 | |
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allied
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| adj.协约国的；同盟国的 | |
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monarchs
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| 君主，帝王( monarch的名词复数 ) | |
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12
distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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follower
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| n.跟随者；随员；门徒；信徒 | |
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toady
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| v.奉承；n.谄媚者，马屁精 | |
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brags
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| v.自夸，吹嘘( brag的第三人称单数 ) | |
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17
eminence
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| n.卓越，显赫；高地，高处；名家 | |
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perseverance
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| n.坚持不懈，不屈不挠 | |
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19
meek
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| adj.温顺的，逆来顺受的 | |
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grovelled
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| v.卑躬屈节，奴颜婢膝( grovel的过去式和过去分词 )；趴 | |
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jaunty
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| adj．愉快的，满足的；adv.心满意足地，洋洋得意地；n.心满意足；洋洋得意 | |
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confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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condole
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| v.同情；慰问 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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lamented
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| adj.被哀悼的，令人遗憾的v.（为…）哀悼，痛哭，悲伤( lament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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premature
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| adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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rev
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| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
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feats
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| 功绩，伟业，技艺( feat的名词复数 ) | |
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incurring
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| 遭受，招致，引起( incur的现在分词 ) | |
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31
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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32
rustication
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| n.被罚休学，定居农村；乡村生活 | |
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reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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34
vivacity
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| n.快活，活泼，精神充沛 | |
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35
lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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pint
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| n.品脱 | |
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tavern
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| n.小旅馆，客栈；小酒店 | |
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jugs
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| （有柄及小口的）水壶( jug的名词复数 ) | |
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shutters
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| 百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 )； （照相机的）快门 | |
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monstrous
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| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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bonnets
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| n.童帽( bonnet的名词复数 )；（烟囱等的）覆盖物；（苏格兰男子的）无边呢帽；（女子戴的）任何一种帽子 | |
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flaring
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| a.火焰摇曳的，过份艳丽的 | |
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crumpled
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| adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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45
creases
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| （使…）起折痕，弄皱( crease的第三人称单数 )； （皮肤）皱起，使起皱纹 | |
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supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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48
inscribed
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| v.写，刻( inscribe的过去式和过去分词 )；内接 | |
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49
engraving
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| n.版画；雕刻（作品）；雕刻艺术；镌版术v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的现在分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中） | |
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missionary
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| adj.教会的，传教(士)的；n.传教士 | |
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51
dissenters
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| n.持异议者，持不同意见者( dissenter的名词复数 ) | |
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