Chapter 43 Club Snobs

The misfortune which befell the simple and good-natured young Sackville, arose entirely² from that abominable³ ‘Sarcophagus Club;’ and that he ever entered it was partly the fault of the present writer.

For seeing Mrs. Chuff, his mother-inlaw, had a taste for the genteel —(indeed, her talk was all about Lord Collingwood, Lord Gambier, Sir Jahaleel Brenton, and the Gosport and Plymouth balls)— Wagley and I, according to our wont⁴, trumped⁵ her conversation, and talked about Lords, Dukes, Marquises, and Baronets, as if those dignitaries were our familiar friends.

‘Lord Sextonbury,’ says I, ‘seems to have recovered her ladyship’s death. He and the Duke were very jolly over their wine at the “Sarcophagus” last night; weren’t they, Wagley?’

‘Good fellow, the Duke,’ Wagley replied. ‘Pray, ma’am’ (to Mrs. Chuff), ‘you who know the world and etiquette⁶, will you tell me what a man ought to do in my case? Last June, his Grace, his son Lord Castlerampant, Tom Smith, and myself were dining at the Club, when I offered the odds⁷ against DADDYLONGLEGS for the Derby — forty to one, in sovereigns only. His Grace took the bet, and of course I won. He has never paid me. Now, can I ask such a great man for a sovereign?— One more lump of sugar, if you please, my dear madam.’

It was lucky Wagley gave her this opportunity to elude⁸ the question, for it prostrated⁹ the whole worthy¹⁰ family among whom we were. They telegraphed each other with wondering eyes. Mrs. Chuff’s stories about the naval¹¹ nobility grew quite faint and kind little Mrs. Sackville became uneasy, and went upstairs to look at the children — not at that young monster, Nelson Collingwood, who was sleeping off the whisky-and-water — but at a couple of little ones who had made their appearance at dessert, and of whom she and Sackville were the happy parents.

The end of this and subsequent meetings with Mr. Maine was, that we proposed and got him elected as a member of the ‘Sarcophagus Club.’

It was not done without a deal of opposition¹² — the secret having been whispered that the candidate was a coal-merchant. You may be sure some of the proud people and most of the parvenus¹³ of the Club were ready to blackball him. We combated this opposition successfully, however. We pointed¹⁴ out to the parvenus that the Lambtons and the Stuarts sold coals: we mollified the proud by accounts of his good birth, good nature, and good behaviour; and Wagley went about on the day of election, describing with great eloquence¹⁵, the action between the ‘Pitchfork’ and the ‘Furibonde,’ and the valour of Captain Maine, our friend’s father. There was a slight mistake in the narrative¹⁶; but we carried our man, with only a trifling¹⁷ sprinkling of black beans in the boxes: Byles’s, of course, who blackballs everybody: and Bung’s, who looks down upon a coal-merchant, having himself lately retired¹⁸ from the wine-trade.

Some fortnight afterwards I saw Sackville Maine under the following circumstances:—

He was showing the Club to his family. He had ‘brought them thither¹⁹ in the light-blue fly, waiting at the Club door; with Mrs. Chuff’s hobbadehoy footboy on the box, by the side of the flyman, in a sham²⁰ livery. Nelson Collingwood; pretty Mrs. Sackville; Mrs. Captain Chuff (Mrs. Commodore Chuff we call her), were all there; the latter, of course, in the vermilion tabinet, which, splendid as it is, is nothing in comparison to the splendour of the ‘Sarcophagus.’ The delighted Sackville Maine was pointing out the beauties of the place to them. It seemed as beautiful as Paradise to that little party.

The ‘Sarcophagus’ displays every known variety of architecture and decoration. The great library is Elizabethan; the small library is pointed Gothic; the dining-room is severe Doric; the strangers’ room has an Egyptian look; the drawing-rooms are Louis Quatorze (so called because the hideous²¹ ornaments²² displayed were used in the time of Louis Quinze); the CORTILE, or hall, is Morisco-Italian. It is all over marble, maplewood, looking-glasses, arabesques²³, ormolu, and scagliola. Scrolls²⁴, ciphers²⁵, dragons, Cupids, polyanthuses, and other flowers writhe²⁶ up the walls in every kind of cornucopiosity. Fancy every gentleman in Jullien’s band playing with all his might, and each performing a different tune¹; the ornaments at our Club, the ‘Sarcophagus,’ so bewilder and affect me. Dazzled with emotions which I cannot describe, and which she dared not reveal, Mrs. Chuff, followed by her children and son-inlaw, walked wondering amongst these blundering splendours.

In the great library (225 feet long by 150) the only man Mrs. Chuff saw, was Tiggs. He was lying on a crimson-velvet sofa, reading a French novel of Paul de Kock. It was a very little book. He is a very little man. In that enormous hall he looked like a mere²⁷ speck²⁸. As the ladies passed breathless and trembling in the vastness of the magnificent solitude²⁹, he threw a knowing, killing³⁰ glance at the fair strangers, as much as to say, ‘Ain’t I a fine fellow?’ They thought so, I am sure.

‘WHO IS THAT?’ hisses³¹ out Mrs. Chuff, when we were about fifty yards off him at the other end of the room.

‘Tiggs!’ says I, in a similar whisper.

‘Pretty comfortable this, isn’t it, my dear?’ says Maine in a free-and-easy way to Mrs. Sackville; ‘all the magazines, you see — writing materials — new works — choice library, containing every work of importance — what have we here?—“Dugdale’s Monasticon,” a most valuable and, I believe, entertaining book.’

And proposing to take down one of the books for Mrs. Maine’s inspection³², he selected Volume VII., to which he was attracted by the singular fact that a brass³³ door-handle grew out of the back. Instead of pulling out a book, however, he pulled open a cupboard, only inhabited by a lazy housemaid’s broom and duster, at which he looked exceedingly discomfited³⁴; while Nelson Collingwood, losing all respect, burst into a roar of laughter.

‘That’s the rummest book I ever saw,’ says Nelson. ‘I wish we’d no others at Merchant Taylors’.’

‘Hush, Nelson!’ cries Mrs. Chuff, and we went into the other magnificent apartments.

How they did admire the drawing-room hangings, (pink and silver brocade, most excellent wear for London,) and calculated the price per yard; and revelled³⁵ on the luxurious³⁶ sofas; and gazed on the immeasurable looking-glasses.

‘Pretty well to shave by, eh?’ says Maine to his mother-inlaw. (He was getting more abominably³⁷ conceited³⁸ every minute.) ‘Get away, Sackville,’ says she, quite delighted, and threw a glance over her shoulder, and spread out the wings of the red tabinet, and took a good look at herself; so did Mrs. Sackville — just one, and I thought the glass reflected a very smiling, pretty creature.

But what’s a woman at a looking-glass? Bless the little dears, it’s their place. They fly to it naturally. It pleases them, and they adorn³⁹ it. What I like to see, and watch with increasing joy and adoration⁴⁰, is the Club MEN at the great looking-glasses. Old Gills pushing up his collars and grinning at his own mottled face. Hulker looking solemnly at his great person, and tightening⁴¹ his coat to give himself a waist. Fred Minchin simpering by as he is going out to dine, and casting upon the reflection of his white neckcloth a pleased moony smile. What a deal of vanity that Club mirror has reflected, to be sure!

Well, the ladies went through the whole establishment with perfect pleasure. They beheld⁴² the coffee-rooms, and the little tables laid for dinner, and the gentlemen who were taking their lunch, and old Jawkins thundering away as usual; they saw the reading-rooms, and the rush for the evening papers; they saw the kitchens — those wonders of art — where the CHEF was presiding over twenty pretty kitchen-maids, and ten thousand shining saucepans: and they got into the light-blue fly perfectly⁴³ bewildered with pleasure.

Sackville did not enter it, though little Laura took the back seat on purpose, and left him the front place alongside of Mrs. Chuff’s red tabinet.

‘We have your favourite dinner,’ says she, in a timid voice; ‘won’t you come, Sackville?’

‘I shall take a chop here today, my dear,’ Sackville replied. ‘Home, James.’ And he went up the steps of the ‘Sarcophagus,’ and the pretty face looked very sad out of the carriage, as the blue fly drove away.

1 tune   

n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整

参考例句：

• He'd written a tune,and played it to us on the piano.他写了一段曲子，并在钢琴上弹给我们听。
• The boy beat out a tune on a tin can.那男孩在易拉罐上敲出一首曲子。

2 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

3 abominable   

adj.可厌的，令人憎恶的

参考例句：

• Their cruel treatment of prisoners was abominable.他们虐待犯人的做法令人厌恶。
• The sanitary conditions in this restaurant are abominable.这家饭馆的卫生状况糟透了。

4 wont   

adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯

参考例句：

• He was wont to say that children are lazy.他常常说小孩子们懒惰。
• It is his wont to get up early.早起是他的习惯。

5 trumped   

v.（牌戏）出王牌赢（一牌或一墩）( trump的过去分词 )；吹号公告，吹号庆祝；吹喇叭；捏造

参考例句：

• That woman trumped up various baseless charges against him. 那个女人捏造种种毫无根据的罪名指控他。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Several of his colleagues trumped up a complaint to get him removed from the job. 他的几位同事诬告他，使他丟掉了工作。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 etiquette   

n.礼仪，礼节；规矩

参考例句：

• The rules of etiquette are not so strict nowadays.如今的礼仪规则已不那么严格了。
• According to etiquette,you should stand up to meet a guest.按照礼节你应该站起来接待客人。

7 odds   

n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别

参考例句：

• The odds are 5 to 1 that she will win.她获胜的机会是五比一。
• Do you know the odds of winning the lottery once?你知道赢得一次彩票的几率多大吗？

8 elude   

v.躲避，困惑

参考例句：

• If you chase it,it will elude you.如果你追逐着它， 它会躲避你。
• I had dared and baffled his fury.I must elude his sorrow.我曾经面对过他的愤怒，并且把它挫败了；现在我必须躲避他的悲哀。

9 prostrated   

v.使俯伏，使拜倒( prostrate的过去式和过去分词 )；（指疾病、天气等）使某人无能为力

参考例句：

• He was prostrated by the loss of his wife. 他因丧妻而忧郁。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• They prostrated themselves before the emperor. 他们拜倒在皇帝的面前。 来自《简明英汉词典》

10 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

11 naval   

adj.海军的，军舰的，船的

参考例句：

• He took part in a great naval battle.他参加了一次大海战。
• The harbour is an important naval base.该港是一个重要的海军基地。

12 opposition   

n.反对，敌对

参考例句：

• The party leader is facing opposition in his own backyard.该党领袖在自己的党內遇到了反对。
• The police tried to break down the prisoner's opposition.警察设法制住了那个囚犯的反抗。

13 parvenus   

n.暴富者( parvenu的名词复数 )；暴发户；新贵；傲慢自负的人

参考例句：

• Well, we've no need for relatives who are such stingy, snobbish parvenus as that.\" 这种鄙吝势利的暴发户，咱们不希罕和他们做亲家。” 来自汉英文学 - 围城

14 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

15 eloquence   

n.雄辩；口才，修辞

参考例句：

• I am afraid my eloquence did not avail against the facts.恐怕我的雄辩也无补于事实了。
• The people were charmed by his eloquence.人们被他的口才迷住了。

16 narrative   

n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的

参考例句：

• He was a writer of great narrative power.他是一位颇有记述能力的作家。
• Neither author was very strong on narrative.两个作者都不是很善于讲故事。

17 trifling   

adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的

参考例句：

• They quarreled over a trifling matter.他们为这种微不足道的事情争吵。
• So far Europe has no doubt, gained a real conveniency,though surely a very trifling one.直到现在为止,欧洲无疑地已经获得了实在的便利，不过那确是一种微不足道的便利。

18 retired   

adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的

参考例句：

• The old man retired to the country for rest.这位老人下乡休息去了。
• Many retired people take up gardening as a hobby.许多退休的人都以从事园艺为嗜好。

19 thither   

adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的

参考例句：

• He wandered hither and thither looking for a playmate.他逛来逛去找玩伴。
• He tramped hither and thither.他到处流浪。

20 sham   

n./adj.假冒(的)，虚伪(的)

参考例句：

• They cunningly played the game of sham peace.他们狡滑地玩弄假和平的把戏。
• His love was a mere sham.他的爱情是虚假的。

21 hideous   

adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的

参考例句：

• The whole experience had been like some hideous nightmare.整个经历就像一场可怕的噩梦。
• They're not like dogs,they're hideous brutes.它们不像狗，是丑陋的畜牲。

22 ornaments   

n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• The shelves were chock-a-block with ornaments. 架子上堆满了装饰品。
• Playing the piano sets up resonance in those glass ornaments. 一弹钢琴那些玻璃饰物就会产生共振。 来自《简明英汉词典》

23 arabesques   

n.阿拉伯式花饰( arabesque的名词复数 )；错综图饰；阿拉伯图案；阿拉贝斯克芭蕾舞姿（独脚站立，手前伸，另一脚一手向后伸）

参考例句：

24 scrolls   

n.（常用于录写正式文件的）纸卷( scroll的名词复数 )；卷轴；涡卷形（装饰）；卷形花纹v.（电脑屏幕上）从上到下移动（资料等），卷页( scroll的第三人称单数 )；（似卷轴般）卷起；（像展开卷轴般地）将文字显示于屏幕

参考例句：

• Either turn it off or only pick up selected stuff like wands, rings and scrolls. 把他关掉然后只捡你需要的物品，像是魔杖(wand)，戒指(rings)和滚动条(scrolls)。 来自互联网
• Ancient scrolls were found in caves by the Dead Sea. 死海旁边的山洞里发现了古代的卷轴。 来自辞典例句

25 ciphers   

n.密码( cipher的名词复数 )；零；不重要的人；无价值的东西

参考例句：

• The ciphers unlocked the whole letter. 解密码的方法使整封信的意义得到说明。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• The writers often put their results in ciphers or anagrams. 写信人常常把成果写成密码或者搞成字谜。 来自辞典例句

26 writhe   

vt.挣扎，痛苦地扭曲；vi.扭曲，翻腾，受苦；n.翻腾，苦恼

参考例句：

• They surely writhe under this pressure.他们肯定对这种压力感到苦恼。
• Her words made him writhe with shame.她的话使他惭愧地感到浑身不自在。

27 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

28 speck   

n.微粒，小污点，小斑点

参考例句：

• I have not a speck of interest in it.我对它没有任何兴趣。
• The sky is clear and bright without a speck of cloud.天空晴朗，一星星云彩也没有。

29 solitude   

n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方

参考例句：

• People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
• They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。

30 killing   

n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财

参考例句：

• Investors are set to make a killing from the sell-off.投资者准备清仓以便大赚一笔。
• Last week my brother made a killing on Wall Street.上个周我兄弟在华尔街赚了一大笔。

31 hisses   

嘶嘶声( hiss的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The speaker was received with a mixture of applause and hisses. 那演说者同时得到喝彩声和嘘声。
• A fire hisses if water is thrown on it. 把水浇到火上，火就发出嘶嘶声。

32 inspection   

n.检查，审查，检阅

参考例句：

• On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查，发现肉变质了。
• The soldiers lined up for their daily inspection by their officers.士兵们列队接受军官的日常检阅。

33 brass   

n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器

参考例句：

• Many of the workers play in the factory's brass band.许多工人都在工厂铜管乐队中演奏。
• Brass is formed by the fusion of copper and zinc.黄铜是通过铜和锌的熔合而成的。

34 discomfited   

v.使为难( discomfit的过去式和过去分词)；使狼狈；使挫折；挫败

参考例句：

• He was discomfited by the unexpected questions. 意料不到的问题使得他十分尴尬。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• He will be particularly discomfited by the minister's dismissal of his plan. 部长对他计划的不理会将使他特别尴尬。 来自辞典例句

35 revelled   

v.作乐( revel的过去式和过去分词 )；狂欢；着迷；陶醉

参考例句：

• The foreign guests revelled in the scenery of the lake. 外宾们十分喜爱湖上的景色。 来自辞典例句
• He revelled in those moments of idleness stolen from his work. 他喜爱学习之余的闲暇时刻。 来自辞典例句

36 luxurious   

adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的

参考例句：

• This is a luxurious car complete with air conditioning and telephone.这是一辆附有空调设备和电话的豪华轿车。
• The rich man lives in luxurious surroundings.这位富人生活在奢侈的环境中。

37 abominably   

adv. 可恶地，可恨地，恶劣地

参考例句：

• From her own point of view Barbara had behaved abominably. 在她看来，芭芭拉的表现是恶劣的。
• He wanted to know how abominably they could behave towards him. 他希望能知道他们能用什么样的卑鄙手段来对付他。

38 conceited   

adj.自负的，骄傲自满的

参考例句：

• He could not bear that they should be so conceited.他们这样自高自大他受不了。
• I'm not as conceited as so many people seem to think.我不像很多人认为的那么自负。

39 adorn   

vt.使美化，装饰

参考例句：

• She loved to adorn herself with finery.她喜欢穿戴华丽的服饰。
• His watercolour designs adorn a wide range of books.他的水彩设计使许多图书大为生色。

40 adoration   

n.爱慕，崇拜

参考例句：

• He gazed at her with pure adoration.他一往情深地注视着她。
• The old lady fell down in adoration before Buddhist images.那老太太在佛像面前顶礼膜拜。

41 tightening   

上紧，固定，紧密

参考例句：

• Make sure the washer is firmly seated before tightening the pipe. 旋紧水管之前，检查一下洗衣机是否已牢牢地固定在底座上了。
• It needs tightening up a little. 它还需要再收紧些。

42 beheld   

v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟

参考例句：

• His eyes had never beheld such opulence. 他从未见过这样的财富。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The soul beheld its features in the mirror of the passing moment. 灵魂在逝去的瞬间的镜子中看到了自己的模样。 来自英汉文学 - 红字

43 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。