EDGAR remained behind, almost petrified1: he stood in the little building, looking after them, yet neither descending2 nor stirring, till one of the workmen advanced to fetch the ladder. He then hastily quitted the spot, mounted his horse, and galloped3 after the carriage; though without any actual design to follow it, or any formed purpose whither to go.
The sight, however, of the Major, pursuing the same route, made him, with deep disgust, turn about, and take the shortest road to Beech4 Park.
He hardly breathed the whole way from indignation; yet his wrath5 was without definition, and nearly beyond comprehensibility even to himself, till suddenly recurring6 to the lovely smile with which Camilla had accepted the assistance of Major Cerwood, he involuntarily clasped his hands and called out: ‘O happy Major!’
Awakened7 by his ejaculation to the true state of his feelings, he started as from a sword held at his breast. ‘Jealousy8!’ he cried, ‘am I reduced to so humiliating a passion? Am I capable of love without trust? Unhappy enough to cherish it with hope? No! I will not be such a slave to the delusions9 of inclination10. I will abandon neither my honour nor my judgment11 to my wishes. It is not alone even her heart that can fully12 satisfy me; its delicacy13 must be mine as well as its preference. Jealousy is a passion for which my mind is not framed, and which I must not find a torment14, but an impossibility!’
He now began to fear he had made a choice the most injudicious, and that coquetry and caprice had only waited opportunity, to take place of candour and frankness.
Yet, recollecting15 the disclaiming16 speeches he had been compelled to make at Cleves, he thought, if she had heard them, she might be actuated by resentment17. Even then, however, her manner of shewing it was alarming, and fraught18 with mischief19. He reflected with fresh repugnance20 upon the gay and dissipated society with which she was newly mixing, and which, from her extreme openness and facility, might so easily, yet so fatally, sully the fair artlessness of her mind.
He then felt tempted21 to hint to Mr. Tyrold, who, viewing all things, and all people in the best light, rarely foresaw danger, and never suspected deception22, the expediency23 of her breaking off this intercourse24, till she could pursue it under the security of her mother’s penetrating25 protection. But it occurred to him next, it was possible the Major might have pleased her. Ardent26 as were his own views, they had never been declared, while those of the Major seemed proclaimed without reserve. He felt his face tingle27 at the idea, though it nearly made his heart cease to beat; and determined28 to satisfy his conjecture29 ere he took any measure for himself.
To speak to her openly, he thought the surest as well as fairest way, and resolved, with whatever anguish30, should he find the Major favoured, to aid her choice in his fraternal character, and then travel till he should forget her in every other.
For this purpose, it was necessary to make immediate31 enquiry into the situation of the Major, and then, if she would hear him, relate to her the result; well assured to gather the state of her heart upon this subject, by her manner of attending to the least word by which it should be introduced.
Camilla, meanwhile, was somewhat comforted by the exertion32 she had shewn, and by her hopes it had struck Edgar with respect.
* * *
The next morning, Sir Hugh sent for her again, and begged she would pass the whole day with her sister Eugenia, and use all her pretty ways to amuse her; for she had returned home, the preceding morning, quite moped with melancholy33, and had continued pining ever since; refusing to leave her room, even for meals, yet giving no reason for her behaviour. What had come to her he could not tell; but to see her so, went to his heart; for she had always, he said, till now, been chearful and even tempered, though thinking over her learning made her not much of a young person.
Camilla flew up stairs, and found her, with a look of despondence seated in a corner of her room, which she had darkened by nearly shutting all the shutters34.
She knew but too well the rude shock she had received, and sought to revive her with every expression of soothing35 kindness. But she shook her head, and continued mute, melancholy, and wrapt in meditation36.
More than an hour was spent thus, the strict orders of Sir Hugh forbidding them any intrusion: but when, at length, Camilla ventured to say, ‘Is it possible, my dearest Eugenia, the passing insolence37 of two or three brutal38 wretches39 can affect you thus deeply?’ She awakened from her silent trance, and raising her head, while something bordering upon resentment began to kindle40 in her breast, cried, ‘Spare me this question, Camilla, and I will spare you all reproach.’
‘What reproach, my dear sister,’ cried Camilla, amazed, ‘what reproach have I merited?’
‘The reproach,’ answered she, solemnly; ‘that, from me, all my family merit! the reproach of representing to me, that thousands resembled me! of assuring me I had nothing peculiar41 to myself, though I was so unlike all my family-of deluding42 me into utter ignorance of my unhappy defects, and then casting me, all unconscious and unprepared, into the wide world to hear them!’
She would now have shut herself into her book-closet; but Camilla, forcing her way, and almost kneeling to be heard, conjured43 her to drive such cruel ideas from her mind, and to treat the barbarous insults that she had suffered with the contempt they deserved.
‘Camilla,’ said she, firmly; ‘I am no longer to be deceived nor trifled with. I will no more expose to the light a form and face so hideous:–I will retire from all mankind, and end my destined44 course in a solitude45 that no one shall discover.’
Camilla, terrified, besought46 her to form no such plan, bewailed the unfortunate adventure of the preceding day, inveighed47 against the inhuman48 women, and pleaded the love of all her family with the most energetic affection.
‘Those women,’ said she, calmly, ‘are not to blame; they have been untutored, but not false; and they have only uttered such truths as I ought to have learnt from my cradle. My own blindness has been infatuated; but it sprung from inattention and ignorance.–It is now removed!–Leave me, Camilla; give notice to my Uncle he must find me some retreat. Tell all that has passed to my father. I will myself write to my mother-and when my mind is more subdued49, and when sincerely and unaffectedly I can forgive you all from my heart, I may consent to see you again.’
She then positively50 insisted upon being left.
Camilla, penetrated51 with her undeserved, yet irremediable distress52, still continued at her door, supplicating53 for re-admittance in the softest terms; but without any success till the second dinner bell summoned her down stairs. She then fervently54 called upon her sister to speak once more, and tell her what she must do, and what say?
Eugenia steadily55 answered: ‘You have already my commission: I have no change to make in it.’
Unable to obtain anything further, she painfully descended56: but the voice of her Uncle no sooner reached her ears from the dining parlour, than, shocked to convey to him so terrible a message, she again ran up stairs, and casting herself against her sister’s door, called out ‘Eugenia, I dare not obey you! would you kill my poor Uncle? My Uncle, who loves us all so tenderly? Would you afflict-would you make him unhappy?’
‘No, not for the universe!’ she answered, opening the door; and then, more gently, yet not less steadfastly57, looking at her, ‘I know,’ she continued, ‘you are all very good; I know all was meant for the best; I know I must be a monster not to love you for the very error to which I am a victim.–I forgive you therefore all! and I blush to have felt angry.–But yet-at the age of fifteen-at the instant of entering into the world-at the approach of forming a connection which–O Camilla! what a time, what a period, to discover-to know-that I cannot even be seen without being derided58 and offended!’
Her voice faltered59 and, running to the window curtain, she entwined herself in its folds, and called out: ‘O hide me! hide me! from every human eye, from every thing that lives and breathes! Pursue me, persecute60 me no longer, but suffer me to abide61 by myself, till my fortitude62 is better strengthened to meet my destiny!’
The least impatience63 from Eugenia was too rare to be opposed; and Camilla, who, in common with all her family, notwithstanding her extreme youth, respected as much as she loved her, sought only to appease64 her by promising65 compliance66. She gave to her, therefore, an unresisted, though unreturned embrace, and went to the dining-parlour.
Sir Hugh was much disappointed to see her without her sister; but she evaded67 any account of her commission till the meal was over, and then begged to speak with him alone.
Gently and gradually she disclosed the source of the sadness of Eugenia: but Sir Hugh heard it with a dismay that almost overwhelmed him. All his contrition68 for the evils of which, unhappily, he had been the cause, returned with severest force, and far from opposing her scheme of retreat, he empowered Camilla to offer her any residence she chose; and to tell her he would keep out of her sight, as the cause of all her misfortunes; or give her the immediate possession and disposal of his whole estate, if that would make her better amends69 than to wait till his death.
This message was no sooner delivered to Eugenia, than losing at once every angry impression, she hastened down stairs, and casting herself at the knees of her Uncle, begged him to pardon her design, and promised never to leave him while she lived.
Sir Hugh, most affectionately embracing her, said–‘You are too good, my dear, a great deal too good, to one who has used you so ill, at the very time when you were too young to help yourself. I have not a word to offer in my own behalf; except to hope you will forgive me, for the sake of its being all done out of pure ignorance.’
‘Alas, my dearest Uncle! all I owe to your intentions, is the deepest gratitude70; and it is your’s from the bottom of my heart. Chance alone was my enemy; and all I have to regret is, that no one was sincere enough, kind enough, considerate enough, to instruct me of the extent of my misfortunes, and prepare me for the attacks to which I am liable.’
‘My dear girl,’ said he, while tears started into his eyes, ‘what you say nobody can reply to; and I find I have been doing you one wrong after another, instead of the least good: for all this was by my own order; which it is but fair to your brothers and sisters, and father and mother, and the servants, to confess. God knows, I have faults enough of my own upon my head, without taking another of pretending to have none!’
Eugenia now sought to condole71 him in her turn, voluntarily promising to mix with the family as usual, and only desiring to be excused from going abroad, or seeing any strangers.
‘My dear,’ said he, ‘you shall judge just what you think fit, which is the least thing I can do for you, after your being so kind as to forgive me; which I hope to do nothing in future not to deserve more; meaning always to ask my brother’s advice; which might have saved me all my worst actions, if I had done it sooner: for I’ve used poor Camilla no better; except not giving her the small pox, and that bad fall. But don’t hate me, my dears, if you can help it, for it was none of it done for want of love; only not knowing how to shew it in the proper manner; which I hope you’ll excuse for the score of my bad education.’
‘O, my Uncle!’ cried Camilla, throwing her arms round his neck, while Eugenia embraced his knees, ‘what language is this for nieces who owe so much to your goodness, and who, next to their parents, love you more than anything upon earth!’
‘You are both the best little girls in the world, my dears, and I need have nothing upon my conscience if you two pass it over; which is a great relief to me; for there’s nobody else I’ve used so bad as you two young girls; which, God knows, goes to my heart whenever I think of it.–Poor little innocents!-what had you ever done to provoke me?’
The two sisters, with the most virtuous72 emulation73, vied with each other in demonstrative affection, till he was tolerably consoled.
The rest of the day was ruffled74 but for one moment; upon Sir Hugh’s answering, to a proposition of Miss Margland for a party to the next Middleton races,-that there was no refusing to let Eugenia take that pleasure, after her behaving so nobly: her face was then again overcast75 with the deepest gloom; and she begged not to hear of the races, nor of any other place, public or private, for going abroad, as she meant during the rest of her life, immoveably to remain at home.
He looked much concerned, but assured her she should be mistress in every thing.
Camilla left them in the evening, with a promise to return the next day; and with every anxiety of her own, lost in pity for her innocent and unfortunate sister.
She was soon, however, called back to herself, when, with what light yet remained, she saw Edgar ride up to the coach door.
With indefatigable76 pains he had devoted77 the day to the search of information concerning the Major. Of Mrs. Arlbery he had learned, that he was a man of fashion, but small fortune; and from the Ensign he had gathered, that even that small fortune was gone, and that the estate in which it was vested, had been mortgaged for three thousand pounds, to pay certain debts of honour.
Edgar had already been to the Parsonage House, but hearing Camilla was at Cleves, had made a short visit, and determined to walk his horse upon the road till he met the carriage of Sir Hugh; believing he could have no better opportunity of seeing her alone.
Yet when the coach, upon his riding up to the door, stopt, he found himself in an embarrassment78 for which he was unprepared. He asked how she did; desired news of the health of all the family one by one; and then, struck by the coldness of her answers, suffered the carriage to drive on.
Confounded at so sudden a loss of all presence of mind, he continued, for a minute or two, just where she left him; and then galloped after the coach, and again presented himself at its window.
In a voice and manner the most hurried, he apologised for this second detention79. ‘But, I believe,’ he said, ‘some genius of officiousness has today taken possession of me, for I began it upon a Quixote sort of enterprise, and a spirit of knight-errantry seems willing to accompany me through it to the end.’
He stopt; but she did not speak. Her first sensation at his sight had been wholly indignant: but when she found he had something to say which he knew not how to pronounce, her curiosity was awakened, and she looked earnest for an explanation.
‘I know,’ he resumed, with considerable hesitation80, ‘that to give advice and to give pain is commonly the same thing:–I do not, therefore, mean–I have no intention-though so lately you allowed me a privilege never to be forgotten’–
He could not get on; and his embarrassment, and this recollection, soon robbed Camilla of every angry emotion. She looked down, but her countenance81 was full of sensibility, and Edgar, recovering his voice, proceeded–
‘My Quixotism, I was going to say, of this morning, though for a person of whom I know almost nothing, would urge me to every possible effort-were I certain the result would give pleasure to the person for whom alone-since with regard to himself–I-it is merely–’
Involved in expressions he knew not how to clear or to finish, he was again without breath: and Camilla, raising her eyes, looked at him with astonishment82.
Endeavouring then to laugh, ‘One would think,’ cried he, ‘this same Quixotism had taken possession of my intellects, and rendered them as confused as if, instead of an agent, I were a principal.’–
Still wholly in the dark as to his aim, yet, satisfied by these last words, it had no reference to himself, she now lost enough of the acuteness of her curiosity to dare avow83 what yet remained; and begged him, without further preface, to be more explicit84.
Stammering85, he then said, that the evident admiration86 with which a certain gentleman was seen to sigh in her train, had awakened for him an interest, which had induced some inquiries87 into the state of his prospects88 and expectations. ‘These,’ he continued, ‘turn out to be, though not high, nor by any means adequate to-to-however they are such as some previous friendly exertions89, with settled future economy, might render more propitious90: and for those previous exertions–Mr. Tyrold has a claim which it would be the pride and happiness of my life to see him honour;-if-if–’
The if almost dropt inarticulated: but he added–‘I shall make some further enquiries before I venture to say any more.’
‘For yourself, then, be they made, Sir!’ cried she, suddenly seizing the whole of the meaning–‘not for me?-whoever this person may be to whom you allude-to me he is utterly91 indifferent.’
A flash of involuntary delight beamed in the eyes of Edgar at these words: he had almost thanked her, he had almost dropt the reins92 of his horse to clasp his hands: but filled only with her own emotions, without watching his, or waiting for any answer, she coldly bid him good night, and called to the coachman to drive fast home.
Edgar, however, was left with a sunbeam of the most lively delight. ‘He is wholly indifferent to her,’ he cried, ‘she is angry at my interference; she has but acted a part in the apparent preference-and for me, perhaps, acted it!’
Momentary93, however, was the pleasure such a thought could afford him–‘O, Camilla,’ he cried, ‘if, indeed, I might hope from you any partiality, why act any part at all?-how plain, how easy, how direct your road to my heart, if but straightly pursued!’
收听单词发音 |
1
petrified
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| adj.惊呆的；目瞪口呆的v.使吓呆，使惊呆；变僵硬；使石化(petrify的过去式和过去分词) | |
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descending
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| n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
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galloped
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| （使马）飞奔，奔驰( gallop的过去式和过去分词 )； 快速做[说]某事 | |
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beech
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| n.山毛榉；adj.山毛榉的 | |
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wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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recurring
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| adj.往复的，再次发生的 | |
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awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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delusions
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| n.欺骗( delusion的名词复数 )；谬见；错觉；妄想 | |
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inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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recollecting
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| v.记起，想起( recollect的现在分词 ) | |
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disclaiming
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| v.否认( disclaim的现在分词 ) | |
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resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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fraught
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| adj.充满…的，伴有(危险等)的；忧虑的 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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repugnance
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| n.嫌恶 | |
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tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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expediency
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| n.适宜；方便；合算；利己 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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penetrating
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| adj.（声音）响亮的，尖锐的adj.（气味）刺激的adj.（思想）敏锐的，有洞察力的 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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tingle
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| vi.感到刺痛，感到激动；n.刺痛，激动 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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conjecture
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| n./v.推测，猜测 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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shutters
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| 百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 )； （照相机的）快门 | |
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soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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meditation
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| n.熟虑，（尤指宗教的）默想，沉思，（pl.）冥想录 | |
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insolence
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| n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度 | |
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brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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wretches
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| n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋 | |
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kindle
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| v.点燃，着火 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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deluding
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| v.欺骗，哄骗( delude的现在分词 ) | |
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conjured
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| 用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 )； 祈求，恳求； 变戏法； （变魔术般地） 使…出现 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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besought
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| v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的过去式和过去分词 )；(beseech的过去式与过去分词) | |
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inveighed
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| v.猛烈抨击，痛骂，谩骂( inveigh的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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supplicating
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| v.祈求，哀求，恳求( supplicate的现在分词 ) | |
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fervently
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| adv.热烈地，热情地，强烈地 | |
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55
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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56
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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steadfastly
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| adv.踏实地，不变地；岿然；坚定不渝 | |
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derided
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| v.取笑，嘲笑( deride的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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persecute
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| vt.迫害，虐待；纠缠，骚扰 | |
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abide
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| vi.遵守；坚持；vt.忍受 | |
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fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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appease
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| v.安抚，缓和，平息，满足 | |
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promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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compliance
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| n.顺从；服从；附和；屈从 | |
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evaded
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| 逃避( evade的过去式和过去分词 )； 避开； 回避； 想不出 | |
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contrition
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| n.悔罪，痛悔 | |
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amends
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| n. 赔偿 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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condole
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| v.同情；慰问 | |
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virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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emulation
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| n.竞争；仿效 | |
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ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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overcast
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| adj.阴天的，阴暗的，愁闷的；v.遮盖，（使）变暗，包边缝；n.覆盖，阴天 | |
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indefatigable
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| adj.不知疲倦的，不屈不挠的 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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detention
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| n.滞留，停留；拘留，扣留；(教育)留下 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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avow
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| v.承认，公开宣称 | |
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explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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stammering
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的现在分词 ) | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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exertions
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| n.努力( exertion的名词复数 )；费力；（能力、权力等的）运用；行使 | |
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propitious
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| adj.吉利的；顺利的 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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reins
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| 感情，激情； 缰( rein的名词复数 )； 控制手段； 掌管； （成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的）保护带 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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