CAMILLA went on to Etherington in deep distress1; every ray of hope was chaced from her prospects2, with a certainty more cruel, though less offensive, to her feelings, than the crush given them by Miss Margland. He cares not for me! she cried; he even destines me for another! He is the willing agent of the Major; he would portion me, I suppose, for him, to accelerate the impossibility of ever thinking of me! And I imagined he loved me! what a dream!-what a dream!-how has he deceived me!-or, alas3 I how have I deceived myself!
She rejoiced, however, that she had made so decided4 an answer with regard to Major Cerwood, whom she could not doubt to be the person meant, and who, presented in such a point of view, grew utterly5 odious6 to her.
The tale she had to relate to Mr. Tyrold, of the sufferings and sad resolution of Eugenia, obviated7 all comment upon her own disturbance8. He was wounded to the heart by the recital9. ‘Alas!’ he cried, ‘your wise and excellent mother always foresaw some mischief10 would ensue, from the extreme caution used to keep this dear unfortunate child ignorant of her peculiar11 situation. This dreadful shake might have been palliated, at least, if not spared, by the lessons of fortitude12 that noble woman would have inculcated in her young and ductile13 mind. But I could not resist the painful entreaties14 of my poor brother, who, thinking himself the author of her calamities15, believed he was responsible for saving her from feeling them; and, imagining all the world as soft-hearted as himself, concluded, that what her own family would not tell her, she could never hear elsewhere. But who should leave any events to the caprices of chance, which the precautions of foresight16 can determine?’
These reflections, and the thoughts of her sister, led at once and aided Camilla to stifle17 her own unhappiness; and for three days following, she devoted18 herself wholly to Eugenia.
On the morning of the fourth, instead of sending the carriage, Sir Hiugh arrived himself to fetch Camilla, and to tell his brother, he must come also, to give comfort to Eugenia; for, though he had thought the worst was over, because she appeared quiet in his presence, he had just surprised her in tears, by coming upon her unawares. He had done all he could, he said, in vain; and nothing remained but for Mr. Tyrold to try his hand himself: ‘For it is but justice,’ he added, ‘to Dr. Orkborne, to say she is wiser than all our poor heads put together; so that there is no answering her for want of sense.’ He then told him to be sure to put one of his best sermons in his pocket to read to her.
Mr. Tyrold was extremely touched for his poor Eugenia, yet said he had half an hour’s business to transact19 in the neighbourhood, before he could go to Cleves. Sir Hugh waited his time, and all three then, proceeded together.
Eugenia received her Father with a deliberate coldness that shocked him. He saw how profound was the impression made upon her mind, not merely of her personal evils, but of what she conceived to be the misconduct of her friends.
After a little general discourse20, in which she bore no share, he proposed walking in the park; meaning there to take her aside, with less formality than he could otherwise desire to speak with her alone.
The ladies and Sir Hugh immediately looked for their hats or gloves: but Eugenia, saying she had a slight head-ache, walked away to her room.
‘This, my dear brother,’ cried Sir Hugh, sorrowfully following her with his eyes, ‘is the very thing I wanted you for; she says she’ll never more stir out of these doors as long as she’s alive; which is a sad thing to say, considering her young years; and nobody knowing how Clermont may approve it. However, it’s well I’ve had him brought up from the beginning to the classics, which I rejoice at every day more and more, it being the only wise thing I ever did of my own head; for as to talking Latin and Greek, which I suppose is what they will chiefly be doing, there’s no doubt but they may do it just as well in a room as in the fields, or the streets.’
Mr. Tyrold, after a little consideration, followed her. He tapped at her door; she asked, in a tone of displeasure, who was there? –‘Your Father, my dear,’ he answered; and then, hastily opening it, she proposed returning with him down stairs.
‘No,’ he said; ‘I wish to converse22 with you alone. The opinion I have long cherished of your heart and your understanding, I come now to put to the proof.’
Eugenia, certain of the subject to which he would lead, and feeling she could not have more to hear than to say, gave him a chair, and composedly seated herself next to him.
‘My dear Eugenia,’ said he, taking her passive hand, ‘this is the moment that more grievously than ever I lament23 the absence of your invaluable24 Mother. All I have to offer to your consideration she could much better have laid before you; and her dictates25 would have met with the attention they so completely deserve.’
‘Was my Mother, then, Sir,’ said she, reproachfully, ‘unapprized of the worldly darkness in which I have been brought up? Is she unacquainted that a little knowledge of books and languages is what alone I have been taught?’
‘We are all but too apt,’ answered Mr. Tyrold, mildly, though surprised, ‘to deem nothing worth attaining27 but what we have missed, nothing worth possessing but what we are denied. How many are there, amongst the untaught and unaccomplished, who would think an escape such as yours, of all intellectual darkness, a compensation for every other evil!’
‘They could think so only, Sir, while, like me, they lived immured28 always in the same house, were seen always by the same people, and were total strangers to the sensations they might excite in any others.’
‘My dear Eugenia, grieved as I am at the present subject of your ruminations, I rejoice to see in you a power of reflection, and of combination, so far above your years. And it is a soothing29 idea to me to dwell upon the ultimate benevolence30 of Providence31, even in circumstances the most afflicting32: for if chance has been unkind to you, Nature seems, with fostering foresight, to have endowed you with precisely33 those powers that may best set aside her malignity34.’
‘I see, Sir,’ cried she, a little moved, ‘the kindness of your intention; but pardon me if I anticipate to you its ill success. I have thought too much upon my situation and my destiny to admit any fallacious comfort. Can you, indeed, when once her eyes are opened, can you expect to reconcile to existence a poor young creature who sees herself an object of derision and disgust? Who, without committing any crime, without offending any human being, finds she cannot appear but to be pointed35 at, scoffed36 and insulted!’
‘O my child! with what a picture do you wound my heart, and tear your own peace and happiness! Wretches37 who in such a light can view outward deficiencies cannot merit a thought, are below even contempt, and ought not to be disdained38, but forgotten. Make a conquest, then, my Eugenia, of yourself; be as superior in your feelings as in your understanding, and remember what Addison admirably says in one of the Spectators: ‘A too acute sensibility of personal defects, is one of the greatest weaknesses of self-love.’
‘I should be sorry, Sir, you should attribute to vanity what I now suffer. No! it is simply the effect of never hearing, never knowing, that so severe a call was to be made upon my fortitude, and therefore never arming myself to sustain it.’
Then, suddenly, and with great emotion clasping her hands: ‘O if ever I have a family of my own,’ she cried, ‘my first care shall be to tell my daughters of all their infirmities! They shall be familiar, from their childhood, to their every defect–Ah! They must be odious indeed if they resemble their poor mother!’
‘My dearest Eugenia! let them but resemble you mentally, and there is no person, whose approbation39 is worth deserving, that will not love and respect them. Good and evil are much more equally divided in this world than you are yet aware: none possess the first without alloy40, nor the second without palliation. Indiana. for example, now in the full bloom of all that beauty can bestow41, tell me, and ask yourself strictly42, would you change with Indiana?’
‘With Indiana?’ she exclaimed; ‘O! I would forfeit43 every other good to change with Indiana! Indiana, who never appears but to be admired, who never speaks but to be applauded.’
‘Yet a little, yet a moment, question, and understand yourself before you settle you would change with her. Look forward, and look inward. Look forward, that you may view the short life of admiration44 and applause for such attractions from others, and their inutility to their possessor in every moment of solitude45 or repose46; and look inward, that you may learn to value your own peculiar riches, for times of retirement47, and for days of infirmity and age!’
‘Indeed, Sir,-and pray believe me, I do not mean to repine I have not the beauty of Indiana; I know and have always heard her loveliness is beyond all comparison. I have no more, therefore, thought of envying it, than of envying the brightness of the sun. I knew, too, I bore no competition with my sisters; but I never dreamt of competition. I knew I was not handsome, but I supposed many people besides not handsome, and that I should pass with the rest; and I concluded the world to be full of people who had been sufferers as well as myself, by disease or accident. These have been occasionally my passing thoughts; but the subject never seized my mind; I never reflected upon it at all, till abuse, without provocation48, all at once opened my eyes, and shewed me to myself! Bear with me, then, my father, in this first dawn of terrible conviction! Many have been unfortunate,-but none unfortunate like me! Many have met with evils-but who with an accumulation like mine!’
Mr. Tyrold, extremely affected49, embraced her with the utmost tenderness: ‘My dear, deserving, excellent child,’ he cried, ‘what would I not endure, what sacrifice not make, to soothe50 this cruel disturbance, till time and your own understanding can exert their powers?’ Then, while straining her to his breast with the fondest parental51 commiseration52, the tears, with which his eyes were overflowing53, bedewed her cheeks.
Eugenia felt them, and, sinking to the ground, pressed his knees. ‘O my father,’ she cried, ‘a tear from your revered54 eyes afflicts55 me more than all else! Let me not draw forth56 another, lest I should become not only unhappy, but guilty. Dry them up, my dearest father-let me kiss them away.’
‘Tell me, then, my poor girl, you will struggle against this ineffectual sorrow! Tell me you will assert that fortitude which only waits for your exertion58; and tell me you will forgive the misjudging compassion59 which feared to impress you earlier with pain!’
‘I will do all, every thing you desire! my injustice60 is subdued61! my complaints shall be hushed! you have conquered me, my beloved father! Your indulgence, your lenity shall take place of every hardship, and leave me nothing but filial affection!’
Seizing this grateful moment, he then required of her to relinquish62 her melancholy63 scheme of seclusion64 from the world: ‘The shyness and the fears which gave birth to it,’ said he, ‘will but grow upon you if listened to; and they are not worthy65 the courage I would instil66 into your bosom-the courage, my Eugenia, of virtue-the courage to pass by, as if unheard, the insolence67 of the hard-hearted, and ignorance of the vulgar. Happiness is in your power, though beauty is not; and on that to set too high a value would be pardonable only in a weak and frivolous68 mind; since, whatever is the involuntary admiration with which it meets, every estimable quality and accomplishment69 is attainable70 without it: and though, which I cannot deny, its immediate21 influence is universal, yet in every competition and in every decision of esteem71, the superior, the elegant, the better part of mankind give their suffrages72 to merit alone. And you, in particular, will find yourself, through life, rather the more than the less valued, by every mind capable of justice and compassion, for misfortunes which no guilt57 has incurred73.’
Observing her now to be softened74, though not absolutely consoled, he rang the bell, and begged the servant, who answered it, to request his brother would order the coach immediately, as he was obliged to return home; ‘And you, my love,’ said he, ‘shall accompany me; it will be the least exertion you can make in first breaking through your averseness to quit the house.’
Eugenia would not resist; but her compliance75 was evidently repugnant to her inclination76; and in going to the glass to put on her hat, she turned aside from it in shuddering77, and hid her face with both her hands.
‘My dearest child,’ cried Mr. Tyrold, wrapping her again in his arms, ‘this strong susceptibility will soon wear away; but you cannot be too speedy nor too firm in resisting it. The omission78 of what never was in our power cannot cause remorse79, and the bewailing what never can become in our power cannot afford comfort. Imagine but what would have been the fate of Indiana, had your situations been reversed, and had she, who can never acquire your capacity, and therefore never attain26 your knowledge, lost that beauty which is her all; but which to you, even if retained, could have been but a secondary gift. How short will be the reign80 of that all! how useless in sickness! how unavailing in solitude! how inadequate81 to long life! how forgotten, or repiningly remembered in old age! You will live to feel pity for all you now covet82 and admire; to grow sensible to a lot more lastingly83 happy in your own acquirements and powers; and to exclaim, with contrition84 and wonder, Time was when I would have changed with the poor mind-dependent Indiana!’
The carriage was now announced; Eugenia, with reluctant steps, descended85; Camilla was called to join them, and Sir Hugh saw them set off with the utmost delight.
收听单词发音 |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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obviated
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| v.避免，消除（贫困、不方便等）( obviate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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recital
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| n.朗诵，独奏会，独唱会 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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ductile
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| adj.易延展的，柔软的 | |
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entreaties
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| n.恳求，乞求( entreaty的名词复数 ) | |
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calamities
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| n.灾祸，灾难( calamity的名词复数 )；不幸之事 | |
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foresight
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| n.先见之明，深谋远虑 | |
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stifle
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| vt.使窒息；闷死；扼杀；抑止，阻止 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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transact
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| v.处理；做交易；谈判 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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lament
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| n.悲叹，悔恨，恸哭；v.哀悼，悔恨，悲叹 | |
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invaluable
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| adj.无价的，非常宝贵的，极为贵重的 | |
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dictates
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| n.命令，规定，要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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attain
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| vt.达到，获得，完成 | |
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attaining
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的现在分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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immured
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| v.禁闭，监禁( immure的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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afflicting
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| 痛苦的 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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malignity
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| n.极度的恶意，恶毒；（病的）恶性 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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scoffed
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| 嘲笑，嘲弄( scoff的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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wretches
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| n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋 | |
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disdained
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| 鄙视( disdain的过去式和过去分词 )； 不屑于做，不愿意做 | |
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approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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alloy
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| n.合金，(金属的)成色 | |
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bestow
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| v.把…赠与，把…授予；花费 | |
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strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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forfeit
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| vt.丧失；n.罚金，罚款，没收物 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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retirement
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| n.退休，退职 | |
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provocation
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| n.激怒，刺激，挑拨，挑衅的事物，激怒的原因 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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parental
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| adj.父母的；父的；母的 | |
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commiseration
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| n.怜悯，同情 | |
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overflowing
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| n. 溢出物,溢流 adj. 充沛的，充满的 动词overflow的现在分词形式 | |
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revered
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| v.崇敬，尊崇，敬畏( revere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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afflicts
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的名词复数 ) | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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relinquish
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| v.放弃，撤回，让与，放手 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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instil
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| v.逐渐灌输 | |
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insolence
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| n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度 | |
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frivolous
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| adj.轻薄的；轻率的 | |
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accomplishment
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| n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能 | |
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attainable
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| a.可达到的，可获得的 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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suffrages
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| （政治性选举的）选举权，投票权( suffrage的名词复数 ) | |
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incurred
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| [医]招致的，遭受的； incur的过去式 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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compliance
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| n.顺从；服从；附和；屈从 | |
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inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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78
omission
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| n.省略，删节；遗漏或省略的事物，冗长 | |
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79
remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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80
reign
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| n.统治时期，统治，支配，盛行；v.占优势 | |
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81
inadequate
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| adj.(for,to)不充足的，不适当的 | |
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82
covet
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| vt.垂涎；贪图(尤指属于他人的东西) | |
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83
lastingly
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| [医]有残留性，持久地，耐久地 | |
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84
contrition
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| n.悔罪，痛悔 | |
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85
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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