WHEN the sisters were summoned down stairs to dinner, planted at the door, ready to receive them at their entrance, stood Edgar. Lavinia and Eugenia addressed him as usual; but Camilla could not speak, could not return his salutation, could not look at him. She sat hastily down in her accustomed place by her uncle, and even the presence of her father scarcely restrained her tears, as she contrasted the hopeless uncertainties1 of Edgar, with the perilous2 pursuit of Sir Sedley.
Edgar, for the first time, saw her avoidance without suspecting that it flowed from repugnance3. The interest she had shewn for his safety was still bounding in his breast, and as, from time to time he stole a glance at her, and observed her emotion, his heart whispered him the softest hopes, that soon the most perfect confidence would make every feeling reciprocal.
But these hopes were not long without alloy4; he soon discerned something that far exceeded what could give him pleasure in her perturbation; he read in it not merely hurry and alarm, but suffering and distress5.
He now ventured to look at her no more; his confidence gave place to pity; he saw she was unhappy, and breathed no present wish but to relieve and console her.
When the dessert was served, she was preparing to retire; but she caught the eye of her father, and saw she should not long be alone; she reseated herself, therefore, in haste, to postpone7, at least, his scrutiny8.
Every body, at length, arose, and Sir Hugh proposed that they should all walk in the park, during his nap, but keep close to the pales, that they might listen for all passengers, in case of Clermont’s coming.
To this, also, Camilla could make no objection, and they set out. She took an arm of each sister, and indulged the heaviness of her heart in not uttering a word.
They had not gone far, when a servant ran after Mr. Tyrold with a pacquet, just arrived, by a private hand, from Lisbon. He returned to read it in his own room; Lavinia and Eugenia accompanied him to hear its contents, and Camilla, for the first time, seemed the least affectionate of his daughters; she durst not encounter him but in the mixt company of all the house; she told Lavinia to make haste back with the news, and took the arm of Indiana.
The compulsion of uninteresting discourse9 soon became intolerable; and no longer chained to the party by the awe10 of her father, she presently left Indiana to Miss Margland, and perceiving that Edgar was conversing11 with Dr. Orkborne, said she would wait for her sisters; and, turning a little aside, sat down upon a bench under a large oak.
Here her painful struggle and unwilling12 forbearance ended; she gave free vent6 to her tears, and thought herself the most wretched of human beings; she found her heart, her aching heart, more than ever devoted13 to Mandlebert, filled with his image, revering14 his virtues15, honouring even his coldness, from a persuasion16 she deserved not his affection, and sighing solely17 for the privilege to consign18 herself to his remembrance for life, though unknown to himself, and unsuspected by the world. The very idea of Sir Sedley was horror to her; she felt guilty to have involved herself in an intercourse19 so fertile of danger; she thought over, with severest repentance20, her short, but unjustifiable deviation21 from that transparent22 openness, and undesigning plainness of conduct, which her disposition23 as much as her education ought to have rendered unchangeable. To that, alone, was owing all her actual difficulty, for to that alone was owing her own opinion of any claim upon her justice. How dearly, she cried, do I now pay for the unthinking plan with which I risked the peace of another, for the re-establishment of my own! She languished24 to throw herself into the arms of her father, to unbosom to him all her errors and distresses27, and owe their extrication28 to his wisdom and kindness. She was sure he would be unmoved by the glare of a brilliant establishment, and that far from desiring her to sacrifice her feelings to wealth and shew, he would himself plead against the alliance when he knew the state of her mind, and recommend to her, so circumstanced, the single life, in the true spirit of Christian29 philosophy and moderation: but all was so closely interwoven in the affairs and ill conduct of her brother, that she believed herself engaged in honour to guard the fatal secret, though hazarding by its concealment30 impropriety and misery32.
These afflicting33 ruminations were at length interrupted by the sound of feet; she took her handkerchief from her eyes, expecting to see her sisters; she was mistaken, and beheld34 Mandlebert.
She started and rose; she strove to chace the tears from her eyes without wiping them, and asked what he had done with Dr. Orkborne?
‘You are in grief!’ cried he in a tone of sympathy; ‘some evil has befallen you!... let me ask....’
‘No; I am only waiting for my sisters. They have just received letters from Lisbon.’
‘You have been weeping! you are weeping now! why do you turn away from me? I will not obtrusively35 demand your confidence yet, could I give you the most distant idea what a weight it might remove from my mind,... you would find it difficult to deny yourself the pleasure of doing so much good!’
The tears of Camilla now streamed afresh. Words so kind from Edgar, the cold, the hard-hearted Edgar, surprised and overset her; yet she endeavoured to hide her face, and made an effort to pass him.
‘Is not this a little unkind?’ cried he, gravely; ‘however, I have no claim to oppose you.’
‘Unkind!’ she repeated, and involuntarily turning to him, shewed a countenance36 so disconsolate37, that he lost his self-control, and taking her reluctant hand, said: ‘O Camilla! Torture me no longer!’
Almost transfixed with astonishment39, she looked at him for a moment in a speechless wonder; but the interval40 short; the character of Edgar, for unalienable steadiness, unalterable honour, was fixed38 in her mind, like ‘truths from holy writ,’ and she knew, with certainty incontrovertible, that his fate was at her disposal, from the instant he acknowledged openly her power over his feelings.
Every opposite sensation, that with violence the most ungovernable could encounter but to combat, now met in her bosom26, elevating her to rapture41, harrowing her with terror, menacing even her understanding. The most exquisite42 wish of her heart seemed accorded at a period so nearly too late for its acceptance that her faculties43, bewildered, confused, deranged44, lost the capacity of clearly conceiving if still she were a free agent or not.
He saw her excess of disorder45 with alarm; he sought to draw her again to her seat; but she put her hand upon her forehead, and leant it against the bark of the tree.
‘You will not speak to me!’ cried he; ‘you will not trust me! shall I call you cruel? No! for you are not aware of the pain you inflict46, the anguish25 you make me suffer! the generosity47 of your nature would else, unbidden, impulsively48 interfere49.’
‘You suffer! You!’ cried she, again distressfully, almost incredulously, looking at him, while her hands were uplifted with amazement50: ‘I thought you above any suffering! superior to all calamity51!... almost to all feeling!..’
‘Ah, Camilla! what thus estranges52 you from candor53? justice? what is it can prompt you to goad54 thus a heart which almost from its first beating...’
He stopt, desirous to check himself; while penetrated55 his softness, and ashamed of what, in the bitterness of her spirit she had pronounced, she again melted into tears, and sunk down upon the bench; yet holding out to him one hand, while with the other she covered her face: ‘Forgive me,’ she cried, ‘I entreat-for I scarce know what I say.’
Such a speech, and so accompanied, might have the stoicism of an older philosopher than Edgar; he fervently56 kissed her proffered57 hand, exclaiming: ‘Forgive you! Can Camilla use such a word? has she the slightest care for my opinion? The most remote concern for me, or for my happiness?’
‘Farewell! farewell!’ cried she, hastily drawing away her hand, ‘go now, I beseech58 you!’
‘What a moment to expect me to depart! O Camilla! my soul sickens of this suspence! End it, generous Camilla! Beloved as lovely! my heart is all your own! use it gently, and accept it nobly!’
Every other emotion, now, in the vanquished59 Camilla, every retrospective fear, every actual regret, yielded to the conquering charm of grateful tenderness; and restoring the hand she had withdrawn60. ‘O Edgar,’ she cried, ‘how little can I merit such a gift! Yet I prize it far, far beyond all words!’
The agitation61 of Edgar was, at first, too mighty62 and too delicious for speech; but his eyes, now cast up to heaven, now fixed upon her own, spoke63 the most ardent64, yet purest felicity; while her hand, now held to his heart, now pressed to his lips, strove vainly to recover its liberty. ‘Blest moment!’ he at length uttered, ‘that finishes for ever such misery of uncertainty65! that gives my life to happiness-my existence to Camilla!’
Again speech seemed too poor for him. Perfect satisfaction is seldom loquacious66; its character is rather tender than gay; and where happiness succeeds abruptly67 to long solicitude68 and sorrow, its enjoyment69 is fearful; it softens70 rather than exhilarates. Sudden joy is sportive, but sudden happiness is awful.
The pause however, that on his side was ecstatic thankfulness, soon became mixt, on that of Camilla, with confusion and remorse71; Sir Sedley returned to her memory, and with him every reflection, and every apprehension72, that most cruelly could sully each trembling, though nearly gratified hope.
The cloud that so soon dimmed the transient radiance of her countenance, was instantly perceived by Edgar; but as he was beginning the most anxious inquiries73, the two sisters approached, and Camilla, whose hand he then relinquished74, rushed forward, and throwing her arms around their necks, wept upon their bosoms75.
‘Sweet sisters!’ cried Edgar, embracing them all three in one; ‘long may ye thus endearingly entwine each other, in the sacred links of affectionate affinity76! Where shall I find our common father?-where is Mr. Tyrold?’
The amazed sisters could with difficulty answer that he was with their uncle, to whom he was communicating news from their mother.
Edgar looked tenderly at Camilla, but, perceiving her emotion, forbore to speak to her, though he could not deny himself the pleasure of snatching one kiss of the hand which hung down upon the shoulder of Eugenia; he then whispered to both the sisters: ‘You will not, I trust, be my enemies?’ and hurried to he house.
‘What can this mean?’ cried Eugenia and Lavinia in a breath.
‘It means,’ said Camilla, ‘that I am the most distressed77... the happiest of human beings!’
This little speech, began with the deepest sigh, but finished with the most refulgent78 smile, only added to their wonder.
‘I hope you have been consulting with Edgar,’ said the innocent Eugenia; ‘nobody can more ably advise you, since, in generosity to Lionel, you are prohibited from counselling with my father.’
Again the most expressive79 smiles played in every feature through the tears of Camilla, as she turned, with involuntary archness, to Eugenia, and answered: ‘And shall I follow his counsel, my dear sister, if he gives me any?’
‘Why not? he is wise, prudent80, and much attached to us all. How he can have supposed it possible we could be his enemies, is past all divination81!’
Gaiety was so truly the native growth of the mind of Camilla that neither care nor affliction could chace it long from its home. The speeches of the unsuspicious Eugenia, that a moment before would have past unheeded, now regaled her renovated82 fancy with a thousand amusing images,which so vigorously struggled against her sadness and her terrors, that they were soon nearly driven from the field by their sportive assailants; and, by the time she reached her chamber83, whither, lost in amaze, her sisters followed her, the surprise she had in store for them, the pleasure with which she knew they would sympathise in her happiness, a security of Edgar’s decided84 regard, had liberated85 her mind from the shackles86 of reminiscence, and restored her vivacity87 to original spirit.
Fastening, then, her door, she turned to them with a countenance of the brightest animation88; alternately and almost wildly embraced them, and related the explicit89 declaration of Edgar; now hiding in their bosoms the blushes of her modest joy, offering up to Heaven the thanksgiving of her artless rapture, now dissolving in the soft tears of the tenderest sensibility, according to the quick changing impulses of her natural and lively, yet feeling and susceptible90 character. Nor once did she look at the reverse of this darling portrait of chosen felicity, till Eugenia, with a gentle sigh, uttered: ‘Unhappy Sir Sedley Clarendel! How may this stroke be softened91 to him?’
‘Ah Eugenia!’ she cried; ‘that alone is my impediment to the most perfect, the most unmixt content! why have you made me think of him?’
‘My dear Camilla,’ said Eugenia, with a look of curious earnestness, and taking both her hands, while she seemed examining her face, ‘you are then, it seems, in love? and with Edgar Mandlebert?’
Camilla, blushing, yet laughing, broke away from her, denying the charge.
A consultation92 succeeded upon the method of proceeding93 with the young baronet. Tommy Hodd was not yet returned with the answer; it was five miles to Clarendel Place, which made going and returning his day’s work. She resolved to wait but this one reply, and then to acknowledge to Edgar the whole of her situation. The delicacy94 of Lavinia, and the high honour of Eugenia, concurred95 in the propriety31 of this confession96; and they all saw the urgent necessity of an immediate97 explanation with Sir Sedley, whose disappointment might every hour receive added weight from delay. Painful, therefore, confusing and distasteful, as was the task, Camilla determined98 upon the avowal99, and as completely to be guided by Edgar in this difficult conjuncture, as if his advice were already sanctioned by conjugal100 authority.
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uncertainties
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| 无把握( uncertainty的名词复数 )； 不确定； 变化不定； 无把握、不确定的事物 | |
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perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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repugnance
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| n.嫌恶 | |
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alloy
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| n.合金，(金属的)成色 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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postpone
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| v.延期，推迟 | |
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scrutiny
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| n.详细检查，仔细观察 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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conversing
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| v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 ) | |
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unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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revering
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| v.崇敬，尊崇，敬畏( revere的现在分词 ) | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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consign
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| vt.寄售（货品），托运，交托，委托 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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deviation
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| n.背离，偏离；偏差，偏向；离题 | |
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transparent
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| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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languished
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| 长期受苦( languish的过去式和过去分词 )； 受折磨； 变得（越来越）衰弱； 因渴望而变得憔悴或闷闷不乐 | |
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anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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distresses
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| n.悲痛( distress的名词复数 )；痛苦；贫困；危险 | |
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extrication
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| n.解脱；救出，解脱 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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concealment
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| n.隐藏, 掩盖，隐瞒 | |
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propriety
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| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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afflicting
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| 痛苦的 | |
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beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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obtrusively
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| adv.冒失地，莽撞地 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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disconsolate
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| adj.忧郁的，不快的 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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deranged
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| adj.疯狂的 | |
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disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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inflict
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| vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担 | |
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generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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impulsively
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| adv.冲动地 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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calamity
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| n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件 | |
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estranges
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| v.使疏远（尤指家庭成员之间）( estrange的第三人称单数 ) | |
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candor
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| n.坦白，率真 | |
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goad
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| n.刺棒，刺痛物；激励；vt.激励，刺激 | |
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penetrated
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| adj. 击穿的，鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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fervently
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| adv.热烈地，热情地，强烈地 | |
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proffered
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| v.提供，贡献，提出( proffer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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beseech
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| v.祈求，恳求 | |
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vanquished
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| v.征服( vanquish的过去式和过去分词 )；战胜；克服；抑制 | |
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withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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loquacious
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| adj.多嘴的，饶舌的 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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softens
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| （使）变软( soften的第三人称单数 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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relinquished
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 )； 放弃 | |
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bosoms
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| 胸部( bosom的名词复数 )； 胸怀； 女衣胸部（或胸襟）； 和爱护自己的人在一起的情形 | |
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affinity
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| n.亲和力，密切关系 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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78
refulgent
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| adj.辉煌的，灿烂的 | |
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79
expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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80
prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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divination
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| n.占卜，预测 | |
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renovated
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| 翻新，修复，整修( renovate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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83
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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liberated
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| a.无拘束的，放纵的 | |
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86
shackles
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| 手铐( shackle的名词复数 )； 脚镣； 束缚； 羁绊 | |
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vivacity
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| n.快活，活泼，精神充沛 | |
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animation
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| n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作 | |
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explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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consultation
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| n.咨询；商量；商议；会议 | |
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proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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concurred
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| 同意（concur的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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avowal
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| n.公开宣称，坦白承认 | |
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conjugal
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| adj.婚姻的，婚姻性的 | |
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