WHILE in the bosom1 of her faithful sister, Camilla reposed2 her feelings and her fears, alternately rejoicing and trembling in the temerity3 of the resolution she had exerted; Edgar sought his not less faithful, nor honourable4, but far more worldly friend, Dr. Marchmont.
He narrated5, with extreme emotion, the scene he had just had with Camilla; asserting her possession of every species of excellence6 from the nobleness of her rejection7, and abhorring8 himself for having given her a moment’s doubt of his fullest esteem9. Not a solicitude11, he declared, now remained with him, but how to appease12 her displeasure, satisfy her dignity, and recover her favour.
‘Softly, softly!’ said the Doctor; ‘measure your steps more temperately13, ere you run with such velocity14. If this refusal is the result of an offended sensibility, you cannot exert yourself too warmly in its consolation15; even if it is from pride, it has a just claim to your concessions16, since she thinks you have injured it; yet pause before you act, may it not be merely from a confidence of power that loves to tyrannize over its slaves, by playing with their chains? or a lurking17 spirit of coquetry, that desires to regain18 the liberty of trifling19 with some new Sir Sedley Clarendel? or, perhaps, with Sir Sedley himself?’
‘Dr. Marchmont! how wretchedly ill you think of women!’
‘I think of them as they are! I think of them as I have found them. They are artful, though feeble; they are shallow, yet subtle.’
‘You have been unfortunate in your connexions?’
‘Yet who had better prospects20? with energies as warm, with hopes as alive as your own, twice have I conducted to the altar two beings I thought framed for my peculiar21 felicity; but my peace, my happiness, and my honour, have been torn up by the root, exactly where I thought I had planted them for my whole temporal existence. This heart, which to you appears hard and suspicious, has been the dupe of its susceptibilities; first, in a creature of its own choice, next, where it believed itself chosen. That first, Mandlebert, had you seen her, you would have thought, as I thought her myself... an angel! She was another Camilla.’
‘Another Camilla!’
‘Grace, sweetness, and beauty vied in her for pre-eminence. Yes, another Camilla! though I see your incredulity; I see you think my comparison almost profane22; and that grace, sweetness, and beauty, waited the birth of Camilla to be made known to the world. Such, however, she was, and I saw and loved at once. I knew her character fair, I precipitately23 made my addresses, and concluded myself beloved in return... because I was accepted!’
Edgar shrunk back, and cast down his eyes.
‘Nor was it till the moment... heart-breaking yet to my recollection!... of her sudden death, that I knew the lifeless, soulless, inanimate frame was all she had bestowed24 upon me. In the private drawer of her bureau, I then found a pocketbook. In the first leaf, I saw a gentleman’s name;... I turned over, and saw it again; I looked further, and still it met my view; I opened by chance.... but nothing else appeared:... there it was still, traced in every hand, charactered in every form, shape, and manner, the wayward, wistful eye could delight to fashion, for varying, yet beholding25 it without end: while, over the intermediate spaces, verses, quotations26, short but affecting sentences, were every where scattered27, bewailing the misery28 of disappointed hope, and unrequited love; of a heartless hand devoted29 at the altar; of vows30 enchaining liberty, not sanctifying affection! I then... alas31, too late! dived deeper, with, then, useless investigation,... and discovered an early passion, never erased32 from her mind;... discovered... that I had never made her happy! that she was merely enduring, suffering me... while my whole confiding33 soul was undividedly hers!’
Edgar shuddered34 at this picture; ‘But why, then,’ he cried, ‘since she seemed amiable35 as well as fair, why did she accept you?’
‘Ask half the married women in the nation how they became wives: they will tell you their friends urged them;... that they had no other establishment in view;... that nothing is so uncertain as the repetition of matrimonial powers in women;... and that those who cannot solicit10 what they wish, must accommodate themselves to what offers. This first adventure, however, is now no longer useful to you, though upon its hard remembrance was founded my former caution: but I am even myself satisfied, at present, that the earliest partiality of Camilla has been yours; what now you have to weigh, is the strength or inadequacy36 of her character, for guiding that partiality to your mutual37 happiness. My second melancholy38 history will best illustrate39 this difficulty. You may easily believe, the last of my intentions was any further essay in a lottery40 I had found so inauspicious; but, while cold even to apathy41, it was my inevitable42 chance to fall in the way of a pleasing and innocent young creature, who gave me, unsought and unwished-for, her heart. The boon43, nevertheless, soon caught my own: for what is so alluring44 as the voluntary affection of a virtuous45 woman?’
‘Well,’ cried Edgar, ‘and what now could disturb your tranquillity46?’
‘The insufficiency of that heart to its own decision. I soon found her apparent predilection48 was simply the result of the casualty which brought me almost exclusively into her society, but unmarked by any consonance of taste, feeling, or understanding. Her inexperience had made her believe, since she preferred me to the few who surrounded her, I was the man of her choice: with equal facility I concurred49 in the same mistake;... for what is so credulous50 as self-love? But such a regard, the child of accident, not selection, was unequal, upon the discovery of the dissimilarity of our dispositions52, to the smallest sacrifice. My melancholy returned with the view of our mutual delusion53; lassitude of pleasing was the precursor54 of discontent. Dissipation then, in the form of amusement, presented itself to her aid: retirement55 and books came to mine. My resource was safe, though solitary56; her’s was gay, but perilous57. Dissipation, with its usual Proteus powers, from amusement changed its form to temptation, allured58 her into dangers, impeached59 her honour, and blighted60 her with disgrace. I just discerned the precipice61 whence she was failing, in time to avert62 the dreadful necessity of casting her off for ever:... but what was our life thence forward? Cares unparticipated, griefs uncommunicated, stifled63 resentments64, and unremitting weariness! She is now no more; and I am a lonely individual for the rest of my pilgrimage.
‘Take warning, my dear young friend, by my experience. The entire possession of the heart of the woman you marry is not more essential to your first happiness, than the complete knowledge of her disposition51 is to your ultimate peace.’
Edgar thanked him, in deep concern to have awakened65 emotions which the absorption of study, and influence of literature, held generally dormant66. The lesson, however, which they inculcated, he engaged to keep always present to his consideration; though, but for the strange affair of Sir Sedley Clarendel, he should feel confident that, in Camilla, there was not more of exterior67 attraction, than of solid excellence: and, with regard to their concordance of taste and humour, he had never seen her so gay, nor so lovely, as in scenes of active benevolence68, or domestic life. She had promised to clear, hereafter, the transaction with Sir Sedley; but he could not hold back for that explanation: hurt, already, by his apparent scruples69, she had openly named them as the motives70 of her rejection: could he, then, shew her he yet demurred71, without forfeiting72 all hope of a future accommodation?
‘Delicacy,’ said Dr. Marchmont, ‘though the quality the most amiable we can practise in the service of others, must not take place of common sense, and sound judgment73, for ourselves. Her dismission does not discard you from her society; on the contrary, it invites your friendship...’
‘Ah, Doctor! what innocence74, what sweetness does that very circumstance display!’
‘Learn, however, their concomitants, ere you yield to their charms: learn if their source is from a present, yet accidental preference, or from the nobler spring of elevated sentiment. The meeting you surprised with Sir Sedley, the presumption75 you acknowledge of his letters, and the confession76 made by herself that she had submitted to be duped by him.’
‘O, Dr. Marchmont! what harrowing drawbacks to felicity! And how much must we rather pity than wonder at the errors of common young women, when a creature such as this is so easy to be misled!’
‘You must not imagine I mean a censure77 upon the excellent Mr. Tyrold, when I say she is left too much to herself: the purity of his principles, and the virtue78 of his character, must exempt79 him from blame; but his life has been both too private and too tranquil47, to be aware of the dangers run by Female Youth, when straying from the mother’s careful wing. All that belongs to religion, and to principle, he feels, and he has taught; but the impediments they have to encounter in a commerce with mankind, he could not point out, for he does not know. Yet there is nothing more certain, than that seventeen weeks is not less able to go alone in a nursery, than seventeen years in the world.’
This suggestion but added to the bias80 of Edgar to take her, if possible, under his own immediate81 guidance.
‘Know, first,’ cried the Doctor, ‘if to your guidance she will give way; know if the affair with Sir Sedley has exculpations which render it single and adventitious82, or if there hang upon it a lightness of character that may invest caprice, chance, or fickleness83, with powers of involving such another entanglement84.’
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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reposed
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| v.将（手臂等）靠在某人（某物）上( repose的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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temerity
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| n.鲁莽，冒失 | |
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honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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narrated
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| v.故事( narrate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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excellence
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| n.优秀，杰出，(pl.)优点，美德 | |
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rejection
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| n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃 | |
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abhorring
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| v.憎恶( abhor的现在分词 )；（厌恶地）回避；拒绝；淘汰 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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solicit
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| vi.勾引；乞求；vt.请求，乞求；招揽(生意) | |
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solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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appease
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| v.安抚，缓和，平息，满足 | |
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temperately
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| adv.节制地，适度地 | |
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velocity
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| n.速度，速率 | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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concessions
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| n.（尤指由政府或雇主给予的）特许权( concession的名词复数 )；承认；减价；（在某地的）特许经营权 | |
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lurking
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| 潜在 | |
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regain
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| vt.重新获得，收复，恢复 | |
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trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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profane
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| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
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precipitately
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| adv.猛进地 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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quotations
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| n.引用( quotation的名词复数 )；[商业]行情（报告）；（货物或股票的）市价；时价 | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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erased
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| v.擦掉( erase的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；清除 | |
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confiding
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| adj.相信人的，易于相信的v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的现在分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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inadequacy
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| n.无法胜任，信心不足 | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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illustrate
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| v.举例说明，阐明；图解，加插图 | |
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lottery
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| n.抽彩；碰运气的事，难于算计的事 | |
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apathy
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| n.漠不关心，无动于衷；冷淡 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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boon
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| n.恩赐，恩物，恩惠 | |
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alluring
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| adj.吸引人的，迷人的 | |
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virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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tranquillity
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| n. 平静, 安静 | |
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tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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predilection
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| n.偏好 | |
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49
concurred
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| 同意（concur的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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credulous
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| adj.轻信的，易信的 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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dispositions
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| 安排( disposition的名词复数 )； 倾向； （财产、金钱的）处置； 气质 | |
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delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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precursor
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| n.先驱者；前辈；前任；预兆；先兆 | |
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retirement
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| n.退休，退职 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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allured
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| 诱引，吸引( allure的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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impeached
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| v.控告（某人）犯罪( impeach的过去式和过去分词 )；弹劾；对（某事物）怀疑；提出异议 | |
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blighted
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| adj.枯萎的，摧毁的 | |
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precipice
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| n.悬崖，危急的处境 | |
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avert
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| v.防止，避免；转移(目光、注意力等) | |
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stifled
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| （使）窒息， （使）窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 )； 镇压，遏制； 堵 | |
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resentments
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| （因受虐待而）愤恨，不满，怨恨( resentment的名词复数 ) | |
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awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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dormant
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| adj.暂停活动的；休眠的；潜伏的 | |
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exterior
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| adj.外部的，外在的；表面的 | |
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benevolence
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| n.慈悲，捐助 | |
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scruples
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| n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 )；顾虑，顾忌v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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demurred
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| v.表示异议，反对( demur的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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forfeiting
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| （因违反协议、犯规、受罚等）丧失，失去( forfeit的现在分词 ) | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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censure
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| v./n.责备；非难；责难 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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exempt
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| adj.免除的；v.使免除；n.免税者，被免除义务者 | |
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bias
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| n.偏见，偏心，偏袒；vt.使有偏见 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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adventitious
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| adj.偶然的 | |
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fickleness
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| n.易变；无常；浮躁；变化无常 | |
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entanglement
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| n.纠缠，牵累 | |
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