LOST to all happiness, and for the first time in her life, divested1 of hope, Camilla at a late hour returned to Mrs. Berlinton’s . And here, her heart-breaking disappointment received the cruel aggravation2 of the most severe self-reproach, when, in facing the mirror to deposit her ornaments3 upon the toilette table, she considered the expensive elegance4 of her whole dress, now, even in her own estimation, by its abortive5 purpose, rendered glaringly extravagant6. Since her project had failed, she saw the impropriety of having risked so much in its attempt; and a train of just reflections ensued, to which her understanding was always equal, though her gaiety was seldom disposed. ‘Would Edgar,’ thought she, ‘wait the event of a meeting at a ball to decide his conduct? Had he not every title to claim a conference with me, if he had the smallest inclination7? Rejected as he calls himself, I had not pretended to demand our separation from any doubts, any displeasure of my own. From the moment he suffered me to quit, without reclamation8, the roof under which I had proposed our parting, I ought to have seen it was but his own desire, perhaps design, I was executing. And all the reluctance9 he seemed to feel, which so weakly I attributed to regard, was but the expiring sensibility of the last moment of intercourse10. Not with murmurs11, he says, he will quit me-nor with murmurs will I now resign him!-with blessings12, he says, he leaves me–O Edgar! mayest thou too be blest! The erring13 and unequal Camilla deserved thee not!’
A more minute examination of her attire14 was not calculated to improve her serenity15. Her robe was everywhere edged with the finest Valencienne lace; her lilac shoes, sash, and gloves, were richly spangled with silver, and finished with a silver fringe; her ear-rings and necklace were of lilac and gold beads16; her fan and shoe roses were brilliant with lilac foil, and her bouquet17 of artificial lilac flowers, and her plumes18 of lilac feathers, were here and there tipt with the most tiny transparent19 white beads, to give them the effect of being glittering with the dew.
Of the cost of all this she was no judge, but, certain its amount must be high, a warm displeasure arose against the incorrigible20 Mrs. Mittin, who had not only taken the pattern, but the value of Mrs. Berlinton’s dress for her guide: and a yet greater dissatisfaction ensued with herself, for trusting the smallest commission to so vain and ungovernable an agent. She could only hope to hoard21 the payment from the whole of her next year’s allowance, by living in so forbearing and retired22 a manner, as to require nothing for herself.
The new, but all powerful guest which now assailed23 her, unhappiness, had still kept her eyes from closing, when she was called up to Mr. Tennet, the landlord of Higden. Her fuller knowledge of her own hopeless debts, could not make her faithless to her engagement; for her acquaintance with misery24 awakened25 but more pity for the misery of others. She admitted him, therefore, without demur26; and found he was a land surveyor, who had often been employed by Sir Hugh at Cleves. He accepted her verbal promise to be answerable for the rent now due, declining her note of hand, which her minority made illegal, and engaging not to hurry her for the money; well satisfied, by the Tyrold character in the whole county, he might abide27 by her word of honour, founded upon the known munificence28 of her uncle.
This delay was a relief, as it saved a partial demand, that must have forced an abrupt29 confession30 of her own debts, or have deceived the baronet into a belief she had nothing to solicit31.
When this business was transacted32, she hastened to Eugenia, to console whose sufferings was all that could mitigate33 her own.
One of the maids then came to say she had forgotten to inform her, that, some time after she had set out for Lord Pervil’s a stranger, much muffled34 up, and with a hat flapped over his face so as wholly to hide it, had enquired35 for her, and seemed much disturbed when he heard she was at the ball, but said he would call again the next day at noon.
No conjecture36 occurred to Camilla but that this must be Edgar; it was contrary to all probability; but no other image could find way to her mind. She hastened, inexpressibly perturbed37, to her sister, determining to be at home before twelve o’clock, and fashioning to herself all the varieties such a meeting could afford; every one of which, however they began, ended regularly with a reconciliation38.
She found Eugenia weeping in bed. She embraced her with the extremest tenderness: ‘Ah my sister!’ said the unhappy mourner, ‘I weep not for my disappointment, great as it may be-and I do not attempt describing it!-it is but my secondary sorrow. I weep, Camilla, for my own infatuation! for the folly39, the blindness of which I find myself culpable40. O Camilla! is it possible I could ever-for a moment, a single moment, suppose Melmond could willingly be mine! could see his exquisite41 susceptibility of every thing that is most perfect, yet persuade myself, he could take, by choice, the poor Eugenia for his wife! the mangled42, deformed43, unfortunate Eugenia!’
Camilla, touched to the heart, wept now more than her sister. ‘That Eugenia,’ she cried, ‘has but to be known, to leave all beauty, all figure, every exterior44 advantage aloof45, by the nobler, the more just superiority of intrinsic worth. Let our estimates but be mental, and who will not be proud to be placed in parallel with Eugenia?’
She was then beginning her own sad relation, when an unopened letter upon the toilette table caught her eye. It had been placed there by Molly Mill, who thought her mistress asleep. Struck by the shape of the seal, Camilla rose to examine it: what was her palpitation, then, to see the cypher E.M., and, turning to the other side, to perceive the hand writing of Edgar!
She put it into her sister’s hand, with expectation too big for speech. Eugenia opened it, and they read it silently together.
To Miss EUGENIA TYROLD,
Southampton.
’Tis yet but a short time-in every account but my own-since I thought myself forming a legal claim to address Miss Eugenia Tyrold as my sister. Every other claim to that affectionate and endearing title has been hers beyond her own memory; hers by the filial love I bear her venerated46 parents; hers, by the tender esteem47 due to the union of almost every virtue48. These first and early ties must remain for ever. Disappointment here cannot pierce her barbarous shafts49, fortune cannot wanton in reversing, nor can time dissolve them.–
‘O Edgar!’ exclaimed Camilla, stopping the reading, and putting her hand, as in benediction50, upon the paper, ‘do you deign51 to talk of disappointment? do you condescend52 to intimate you are unhappy? Ah, my Eugenia, you shall clear this dreadful error! ’tis to you he applies-you shall be peace-maker; restorer!’
Eugenia dried her tears at the thought of so sweet an office, and they read on.
Of the other-yet nearer claim, I will not speak. You have probably known longer than myself, its annihilation, and I will not pain your generous heart with any view of my sufferings in such a deprivation53. I write but to take with my pen the leave I dare not trust myself to take by word of mouth; to wish to your opening prospects55 all the happiness that has flown mine, and to entreat56 you to answer for me to the whole of your loved family, that its name is what, through life, my ear with most reverence57 will hear, my heart with most devotion will love.
EDGAR MANDLEBERT.
At the kind wish upon her own opening prospects, Eugenia wept afresh; but when Camilla took the letter to press to her lips and her heart what he said of his sufferings, she perceived at the doubling down, two lines more:–
I am this moment leaving Southampton for the Isle58 of Wight, whence I shall sail to the first port, that the first vessel59 with which I may meet shall be bound.
‘No, my dear Eugenia,’ cried she, then colouring, and putting down the letter, ‘your mediation60 will be spared. He acquaints us he is quitting England. He can only mention it to avoid the persecution61 of an answer. Certainly none shall be obtruded62 upon him.’
Eugenia pleaded that still a letter might overtake him at the Isle of Wight, and all misunderstanding might be rectified63. ‘And then, my sister, all may be well, and your happiness renewed.–It has not flown you-like that of Eugenia-from any radical64 cause. Her’s is not only gone, past all resource, but has left behind it disgrace with sorrow, derision with disappointment!’
Camilla strove to soothe65 her, but would no longer listen to any mediation; she resolved, at once, to write of the separation to her father, and beseech66 him to send for her to Etherington, and never again suffer her to quit that roof, where alone her peace was without disturbance67, her conduct without reproach. Even her debts, now, she felt equal to avowing68, for as, far from contracting new ones, she meant in future to reside in complete obscurity, she hoped the feelings of this moment would procure69 pardon for her indiscretions, which her own sedulous70 future oeconomy should be indefatigable71 to repair.
Eugenia would not strive longer against a procedure which she deemed dignified72, and the departure of Camilla was hurried by a messenger, who brought word that the strange man, with the flapped hat, was returned, and entreated73 her, for Heaven’s sake, to let him speak with her one moment.
Dead, now, to the hope she had entertained of this enquirer74, she merely from his own urgency complied with his call; for her curiosity was gone since she now knew it could not be Edgar.
* * *
Edgar, indeed, was actually departed. His heart was loaded with sorrow, his prospect54 seemed black with despondence; but Camilla was lost to that perfect confidence, and unbounded esteem, he required to feel for his wife, and no tenderness without them, no partial good opinion, nor general admiration75, could make him wish to lead her to the altar. ‘No!’ cried he, ‘Dr. Marchmont; you judged me better than my first passion, and her untried steadiness enabled me to judge myself. Misery only could have followed my view of her in the mixt society in which the thousand accidents of life might occasionally have placed us. I can only be happy with a character as simple in the world, as in retirement76; as artless at an assembly, as in a cottage. Without that heavenly simplicity77, the union of all else that renders life desirable, were vain! without that-all her enchanting78 qualities, with which nothing can vie, and which are entwined around my heartstrings, were ineffectual to my peace.’
‘You are right,’ said the Doctor, ‘and your timely caution, and early wisdom, will protect you from the bitterness of a personal experience like mine. With all the charms she assembles, her character seems too unstable79 for private domestic life. When a few years more have blunted the wild vivacity80, the floating ambition, the changing propensities81 which now render her inconsistent to others, and fluctuating even to herself, she may yet become as respectable, as she must always be amiable82. But now,... whoever takes her from the circle in which she is playing, will see her lost to all piety83, though without daring to complain, from the restraint of bidden duties, which make the bidder84 a tyrant85.’
Edgar shrunk from such a part, and immediately prepared for his long projected tour.
He had, originally, purposed visiting Mr. Tyrold before he set out, and conversing86 with him upon the state of danger in which he thought his daughter; but his tenderness for her feelings, during his last adieu, had beguiled87 him of this plan, lest it should prove painful, injurious, or inauspicious to her own views or designs in breaking to her friends their breach88. He now addressed a few lines to his revered89 guardian90, to be delivered by Dr. Marchmont; to whom he gave discretionary powers, if any explanation should be demanded; though clogged91 with an earnest clause, that he would neither advance, nor confess any thing that could hurt Camilla, even a moment, unless to avert92 from her some danger, or substantiate93 some good.
Dr. Marchmont determined94 to accompany him to the Isle of Wight, whither he resolved to go, and wait for his baggage; and undertook the superintendance of his estate and affairs in his absence.
When they were summoned to the little vessel, Edgar changed colour, his heart beat quick, and he sighed rather than breathed. He held his hand upon his eyes and forehead for a few minutes, in agony inexpressible, then silently gave his servant the letter he had written for Eugenia, took the Doctor by the arm, walked to the beach, and got aboard; his head still turned wholly towards the town, his eyes looking above it, as if seeking to fix the habitation of Camilla. Dr. Marchmont sought to draw his attention another way, but it was rivetted to the spot they were quitting.
‘I feel truly your unhappiness, my dear Mandlebert,’ said he, ‘that this young creature, with defects of so cruel a tendency, mingles95 qualities of so endearing a nature. Judge, however, the predominance of what is faulty, since parents so exemplary have not been able to make the scales weigh down on the side of right. Alas96! Mr. Tyrold has himself erred97, in committing, at so early a period, her conduct into her own reins98. The very virtues99, in the first youth, are so little regulated by reflection, that, were not watched nor aided, they run into extremes nearly as pernicious, though not so unamiable as the vices100. What instance more than this now before us can shew the futility101 of education, and the precariousness102 of innate103 worth, when the contaminating world is allowed to seize its inexperienced prey104, before the character is fixed105 as well as formed?’
A deeply assenting106 sigh broke from the bosom107 of Edgar, whose strained eyes held their purpose, till neither beach, nor town, nor even a spire108 of Southampton, were discernible. Again, then, for a moment, he covered them with his hand, and exclaimed ‘Farewell! Camilla, farewell!’
1 divested | |
v.剥夺( divest的过去式和过去分词 );脱去(衣服);2。从…取去…;1。(给某人)脱衣服 | |
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2 aggravation | |
n.烦恼,恼火 | |
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3 ornaments | |
n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 );点缀;装饰品;首饰v.装饰,点缀,美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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4 elegance | |
n.优雅;优美,雅致;精致,巧妙 | |
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5 abortive | |
adj.不成功的,发育不全的 | |
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6 extravagant | |
adj.奢侈的;过分的;(言行等)放肆的 | |
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7 inclination | |
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好 | |
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8 reclamation | |
n.开垦;改造;(废料等的)回收 | |
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9 reluctance | |
n.厌恶,讨厌,勉强,不情愿 | |
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10 intercourse | |
n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
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11 murmurs | |
n.低沉、连续而不清的声音( murmur的名词复数 );低语声;怨言;嘀咕 | |
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12 blessings | |
n.(上帝的)祝福( blessing的名词复数 );好事;福分;因祸得福 | |
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13 erring | |
做错事的,错误的 | |
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14 attire | |
v.穿衣,装扮[同]array;n.衣着;盛装 | |
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15 serenity | |
n.宁静,沉着,晴朗 | |
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16 beads | |
n.(空心)小珠子( bead的名词复数 );水珠;珠子项链 | |
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17 bouquet | |
n.花束,酒香 | |
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18 plumes | |
羽毛( plume的名词复数 ); 羽毛饰; 羽毛状物; 升上空中的羽状物 | |
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19 transparent | |
adj.明显的,无疑的;透明的 | |
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20 incorrigible | |
adj.难以纠正的,屡教不改的 | |
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21 hoard | |
n./v.窖藏,贮存,囤积 | |
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22 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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23 assailed | |
v.攻击( assail的过去式和过去分词 );困扰;质问;毅然应对 | |
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24 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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25 awakened | |
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到 | |
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26 demur | |
v.表示异议,反对 | |
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27 abide | |
vi.遵守;坚持;vt.忍受 | |
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28 munificence | |
n.宽宏大量,慷慨给与 | |
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29 abrupt | |
adj.突然的,意外的;唐突的,鲁莽的 | |
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30 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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31 solicit | |
vi.勾引;乞求;vt.请求,乞求;招揽(生意) | |
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32 transacted | |
v.办理(业务等)( transact的过去式和过去分词 );交易,谈判 | |
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33 mitigate | |
vt.(使)减轻,(使)缓和 | |
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34 muffled | |
adj.(声音)被隔的;听不太清的;(衣服)裹严的;蒙住的v.压抑,捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 );用厚厚的衣帽包着(自己) | |
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35 enquired | |
打听( enquire的过去式和过去分词 ); 询问; 问问题; 查问 | |
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36 conjecture | |
n./v.推测,猜测 | |
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37 perturbed | |
adj.烦燥不安的v.使(某人)烦恼,不安( perturb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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38 reconciliation | |
n.和解,和谐,一致 | |
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39 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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40 culpable | |
adj.有罪的,该受谴责的 | |
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41 exquisite | |
adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的 | |
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42 mangled | |
vt.乱砍(mangle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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43 deformed | |
adj.畸形的;变形的;丑的,破相了的 | |
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44 exterior | |
adj.外部的,外在的;表面的 | |
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45 aloof | |
adj.远离的;冷淡的,漠不关心的 | |
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46 venerated | |
敬重(某人或某事物),崇敬( venerate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47 esteem | |
n.尊敬,尊重;vt.尊重,敬重;把…看作 | |
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48 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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49 shafts | |
n.轴( shaft的名词复数 );(箭、高尔夫球棒等的)杆;通风井;一阵(疼痛、害怕等) | |
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50 benediction | |
n.祝福;恩赐 | |
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51 deign | |
v. 屈尊, 惠允 ( 做某事) | |
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52 condescend | |
v.俯就,屈尊;堕落,丢丑 | |
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53 deprivation | |
n.匮乏;丧失;夺去,贫困 | |
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54 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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55 prospects | |
n.希望,前途(恒为复数) | |
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56 entreat | |
v.恳求,恳请 | |
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57 reverence | |
n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬 | |
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58 isle | |
n.小岛,岛 | |
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59 vessel | |
n.船舶;容器,器皿;管,导管,血管 | |
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60 mediation | |
n.调解 | |
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61 persecution | |
n. 迫害,烦扰 | |
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62 obtruded | |
v.强行向前,强行,强迫( obtrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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63 rectified | |
[医]矫正的,调整的 | |
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64 radical | |
n.激进份子,原子团,根号;adj.根本的,激进的,彻底的 | |
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65 soothe | |
v.安慰;使平静;使减轻;缓和;奉承 | |
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66 beseech | |
v.祈求,恳求 | |
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67 disturbance | |
n.动乱,骚动;打扰,干扰;(身心)失调 | |
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68 avowing | |
v.公开声明,承认( avow的现在分词 ) | |
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69 procure | |
vt.获得,取得,促成;vi.拉皮条 | |
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70 sedulous | |
adj.勤勉的,努力的 | |
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71 indefatigable | |
adj.不知疲倦的,不屈不挠的 | |
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72 dignified | |
a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
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73 entreated | |
恳求,乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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74 enquirer | |
寻问者,追究者 | |
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75 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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76 retirement | |
n.退休,退职 | |
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77 simplicity | |
n.简单,简易;朴素;直率,单纯 | |
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78 enchanting | |
a.讨人喜欢的 | |
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79 unstable | |
adj.不稳定的,易变的 | |
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80 vivacity | |
n.快活,活泼,精神充沛 | |
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81 propensities | |
n.倾向,习性( propensity的名词复数 ) | |
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82 amiable | |
adj.和蔼可亲的,友善的,亲切的 | |
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83 piety | |
n.虔诚,虔敬 | |
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84 bidder | |
n.(拍卖时的)出价人,报价人,投标人 | |
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85 tyrant | |
n.暴君,专制的君主,残暴的人 | |
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86 conversing | |
v.交谈,谈话( converse的现在分词 ) | |
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87 beguiled | |
v.欺骗( beguile的过去式和过去分词 );使陶醉;使高兴;消磨(时间等) | |
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88 breach | |
n.违反,不履行;破裂;vt.冲破,攻破 | |
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89 revered | |
v.崇敬,尊崇,敬畏( revere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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90 guardian | |
n.监护人;守卫者,保护者 | |
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91 clogged | |
(使)阻碍( clog的过去式和过去分词 ); 淤滞 | |
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92 avert | |
v.防止,避免;转移(目光、注意力等) | |
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93 substantiate | |
v.证实;证明...有根据 | |
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94 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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95 mingles | |
混合,混入( mingle的第三人称单数 ); 混进,与…交往[联系] | |
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96 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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97 erred | |
犯错误,做错事( err的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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98 reins | |
感情,激情; 缰( rein的名词复数 ); 控制手段; 掌管; (成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的)保护带 | |
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99 virtues | |
美德( virtue的名词复数 ); 德行; 优点; 长处 | |
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100 vices | |
缺陷( vice的名词复数 ); 恶习; 不道德行为; 台钳 | |
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101 futility | |
n.无用 | |
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102 precariousness | |
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103 innate | |
adj.天生的,固有的,天赋的 | |
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104 prey | |
n.被掠食者,牺牲者,掠食;v.捕食,掠夺,折磨 | |
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105 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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106 assenting | |
同意,赞成( assent的现在分词 ) | |
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107 bosom | |
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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108 spire | |
n.(教堂)尖顶,尖塔,高点 | |
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