WHEN the first violence of this paroxysm of sorrow abated1, Camilla again strove to pray, and found that nothing so much stilled her. Yet, her faculties2 confused, hurried, and in anguish3, permitted little more than incoherent ejaculations. Again she sighed for her Father; again the spirit of his instructions recurred4, and she enquired5 who was the clergyman of the parish, and if he would be humane6 enough to come and pray by one who had no claim upon him as a parishioner.
Peggy said he was a very good gentleman, and never refused even the poorest person, that begged his attendance.
‘O go to him, then,’ cried she, ‘directly! Tell him a sick and helpless stranger implores9 that he will read to her the prayers for the dying!... Should I yet live... they will compose and make me better;-if not... they will give me courage for my quick exit.’
Peggy went forth10, and she lay her beating head upon the pillow, and endeavoured to quiet her nerves for the sacred ceremony she demanded.
It was dark, and she was alone; the corpse11 she had just quitted seemed still bleeding in full view. She closed her eyes, but still saw it; she opened them, but it was always there. She felt nearly stiff with horrour, chilled, frozen, with speechless apprehension12.
A slumber13, feverish14 nearly to delirium15, at length surprised her harassed16 faculties; but not to afford them rest. Death, in a visible figure, ghastly, pallid17, severe, appeared before her, and with its hand, sharp and forked, struck abruptly18 upon her breast. She screamed-but it was heavy as cold, and she could not remove it. She trembled; she shrunk from its touch; but it had iced her heart-strings. Every vein19 was congealed20; every stiffened21 limb stretched to its full length, was hard as marble: and when again she made a feeble effort to rid her oppressed lungs of the dire7 weight that had fallen upon them, a voice hollow, deep, and distant, dreadfully pierced her ear, calling out: ‘Thou hast but thy own wish! Rejoice, thou murmurer22, for thou diest!’ Clearer, shriller, another voice quick vibrated in the air: ‘Whither goest thou,’ it cried, ‘and whence comest thou?’
A voice from within, over which she thought she had no controul, though it seemed issuing from her vitals, low, hoarse23, and tremulous, answered, ‘Whither I go, let me rest! Whence I come from let me not look back! Those who gave me birth, I have deserted24; my life, my vital powers I have rejected.’ Quick then another voice assailed25 her, so near, so loud, so terrible... she shrieked26 at its horrible sound. ‘Prematurely,’ it cried, ‘thou art come, uncalled, unbidden; thy task unfulfilled, thy peace unearned. Follow, follow me! the Records of Eternity27 are opened. Come! write with thy own hand thy claims, thy merits to mercy!’ A repelling28 self-accusation instantaneously overwhelmed her. ‘O, no! no! no!’ she exclaimed, ‘let me not sign my own miserable29 insufficiency!’ In vain was her appeal. A force unseen, yet irresistible30, impelled31 her forward. She saw the immense volumes of Eternity, and her own hand involuntarily grasped a pen of iron, and with a velocity32 uncontroulable wrote these words: ‘Without resignation, I have prayed for death: from impatience33 of displeasure, I have desired annihilation: to dry my own eyes, I have left... pitiless, selfish, unnatural34!... a Father the most indulgent, a Mother almost idolizing, to weep out their’s !’ Her head would have sunk upon the guilty characters; but her eyelids35 refused to close, and kept them glaring before her. They became, then, illuminated36 with burning sulphur. She looked another way; but they partook of the same motion; she cast her eyes upwards37, but she saw the characters still; she turned from side to side; but they were always her object. Loud again sounded the same direful voice: ‘These are thy deserts; write now thy claims:-and next,-and quick,-turn over the immortal38 leaves, and read thy doom39–Oh, no!’ she cried, ‘Oh, no!’... ‘O, let me yet return! O, Earth, with all thy sorrows, take, take me once again, that better I may learn to work my way to that last harbour, which rejecting the criminal repiner, opens its soft bosom40 to the firm, though supplicating41 sufferer!’ In vain again she called;-pleaded, knelt, wept in vain. The time, she found, was past; she had slighted it while in her power; it would return to her no more; and a thousand voices at once, with awful vibration42, answered aloud to every prayer, ‘Death was thy own desire!’ Again, unlicensed by her will, her hand seized the iron instrument. The book was open that demanded her claims. She wrote with difficulty... but saw that her pen made no mark! She looked upon the page, when she thought she had finished,... but the paper was blank!... Voices then, by hundreds, by thousands, by millions, from side to side, above, below, around, called out, echoed and re-echoed, ‘Turn over, turn over... and read thy eternal doom!’ In the same instant, the leaf, untouched, burst open... and she awoke. But in a trepidation43 so violent, the bed shook under her, the cold sweat, in large drops, fell from her forehead, and her heart still seemed labouring under the adamantine pressure of the inflexibly44 cold grasp of death. So exalted45 was her imagination, so confused were all her thinking faculties, that she stared with wild doubt whether then, or whether now, what she experienced were a dream.
In this suspensive state, fearing to call, to move, or almost to breathe, she remained, in perfect stillness, and in the dark, till little Peggy crept softly into the chamber46.
Certain then of her situation, ‘This has been,’ she cried, ‘only a vision-but my conscience has abetted47 it, and I cannot shake it off.’
When she became calmer, and further recollected49 herself, she anxiously enquired if the clergyman would not come.
Peggy, hesitatingly, acknowledged he had not been sent for; her mistress had imagined the request proceeded from a disturbance50 of mind, owing to the sight of the corpse, and said she was sure, after a little sleep, it would be forgotten.
‘Alas!’ said Camilla, disappointed, ‘it is more necessary than ever! my senses are wandering; I seem hovering51 between life and death–Ah! let not my own fearful fancies absorb this hour of change, which religious rites52 should consecrate53!’
She then told Peggy to plead for her to her mistress, and assure her that nothing else, after the dreadful shock she had received, could still her mind.
Mrs. Marl, not long after came into the room herself; and enquiring54 how she did, said, if she was really bent55 upon such a melancholy56 thing, the clergyman had luckily just called, and would read the service to her directly, if it would give her any comfort.
‘O, great and infinite comfort!’ she cried, and begged he might come immediately, and read to her the prayer for those of whom there is but small hope of recovery. She would have risen, that she might kneel; but her limbs would not second her desire, and she was obliged to lie still upon the outside of the bed. Peggy drew the curtains, to shade her eyes, as a candle was brought into the room; but when she heard Mrs. Marl say: ‘Come in, Sir,’ and ‘here’s the prayer-book,’ overpowered with tender recollection of her Father, to whom such offices were frequent, she burst into an agony of tears, and hid her face upon the pillow.
She soon, however, recovered, and the solemnity of the preparation overawed her sorrow. Mrs. Marl placed the light as far as possible from the bed, and when Camilla waved her hand in token of being ready, said, ‘Now, Sir, if you please.’
He complied, though not immediately; but no sooner had he begun, no sooner devoutly57, yet tremblingly, pronounced, O Father of Mercies! than a faint scream issued from the bed.–
He stopt; but she did not speak; and after a short pause, he resumed: but not a second sentence was pronounced when she feebly ejaculated, ‘Ah heaven!’ and the book fell from his hands.
She strove to raise her head; but could not; she opened, however, the side curtain, to look out; he advanced, at the same moment, to the foot of the bed... fixed58 his eyes upon her face, and in a voice that seemed to come from his soul, exclaimed, ‘Camilla!’
With a mental emotion that, for an instant, restored her strength, she drew again the curtain, covered up her face, and sobbed59 even audibly, while the words, ‘O Edgar!’ vainly sought vent60.
He attempted not to unclose the curtain she had drawn61, but with a deep groan62, dropping upon his knees on the outside, cried, ‘Great God!’ but checking himself, hastily arose, and motioning to Mrs. Marl and to Peggy, to move out of hearing, said, through the curtain; ‘O Camilla! what dire calamity63 has brought this about?–Speak, I implore8!-why are you here?-why alone? Speak! Speak!’
He heard she was weeping, but received no answer, and with energy next to torture exclaimed; ‘Refuse not to trust me! recollect48 our long friendship-forgive-forget its alienation64!–By all you have ever valued-by all your wonted generosity–I call–I appeal... Camilla! Camilla!-your silence rends65 my soul!’
Camilla had no utterance66, yet could not resist this urgency, and gently through the opening of the curtain, put forth her feeble hand.
He seemed affected67 to agony; he held it between each of his own, and while softly he uttered, ‘O ever-unchangeably generous Camilla!’ she felt it moistened with his tears.
Too weak for the new sensation this excited, she drew it away, and the violence of her emotion menacing an hysteric fit, Mrs. Marl came back to her, and wringing68 his hands as he looked around the room, he tore himself away.
1 abated | |
减少( abate的过去式和过去分词 ); 减去; 降价; 撤消(诉讼) | |
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2 faculties | |
n.能力( faculty的名词复数 );全体教职员;技巧;院 | |
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3 anguish | |
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼 | |
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4 recurred | |
再发生,复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 ); 治愈 | |
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5 enquired | |
打听( enquire的过去式和过去分词 ); 询问; 问问题; 查问 | |
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6 humane | |
adj.人道的,富有同情心的 | |
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7 dire | |
adj.可怕的,悲惨的,阴惨的,极端的 | |
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8 implore | |
vt.乞求,恳求,哀求 | |
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9 implores | |
恳求或乞求(某人)( implore的第三人称单数 ) | |
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10 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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11 corpse | |
n.尸体,死尸 | |
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12 apprehension | |
n.理解,领悟;逮捕,拘捕;忧虑 | |
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13 slumber | |
n.睡眠,沉睡状态 | |
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14 feverish | |
adj.发烧的,狂热的,兴奋的 | |
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15 delirium | |
n. 神智昏迷,说胡话;极度兴奋 | |
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16 harassed | |
adj. 疲倦的,厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词 | |
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17 pallid | |
adj.苍白的,呆板的 | |
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18 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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19 vein | |
n.血管,静脉;叶脉,纹理;情绪;vt.使成脉络 | |
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20 congealed | |
v.使凝结,冻结( congeal的过去式和过去分词 );(指血)凝结 | |
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21 stiffened | |
加强的 | |
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22 murmurer | |
低语 | |
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23 hoarse | |
adj.嘶哑的,沙哑的 | |
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24 deserted | |
adj.荒芜的,荒废的,无人的,被遗弃的 | |
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25 assailed | |
v.攻击( assail的过去式和过去分词 );困扰;质问;毅然应对 | |
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26 shrieked | |
v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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27 eternity | |
n.不朽,来世;永恒,无穷 | |
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28 repelling | |
v.击退( repel的现在分词 );使厌恶;排斥;推开 | |
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29 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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30 irresistible | |
adj.非常诱人的,无法拒绝的,无法抗拒的 | |
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31 impelled | |
v.推动、推进或敦促某人做某事( impel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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32 velocity | |
n.速度,速率 | |
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33 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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34 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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35 eyelids | |
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色 | |
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36 illuminated | |
adj.被照明的;受启迪的 | |
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37 upwards | |
adv.向上,在更高处...以上 | |
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38 immortal | |
adj.不朽的;永生的,不死的;神的 | |
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39 doom | |
n.厄运,劫数;v.注定,命定 | |
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40 bosom | |
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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41 supplicating | |
v.祈求,哀求,恳求( supplicate的现在分词 ) | |
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42 vibration | |
n.颤动,振动;摆动 | |
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43 trepidation | |
n.惊恐,惶恐 | |
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44 inflexibly | |
adv.不屈曲地,不屈地 | |
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45 exalted | |
adj.(地位等)高的,崇高的;尊贵的,高尚的 | |
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46 chamber | |
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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47 abetted | |
v.教唆(犯罪)( abet的过去式和过去分词 );煽动;怂恿;支持 | |
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48 recollect | |
v.回忆,想起,记起,忆起,记得 | |
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49 recollected | |
adj.冷静的;镇定的;被回忆起的;沉思默想的v.记起,想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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50 disturbance | |
n.动乱,骚动;打扰,干扰;(身心)失调 | |
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51 hovering | |
鸟( hover的现在分词 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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52 rites | |
仪式,典礼( rite的名词复数 ) | |
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53 consecrate | |
v.使圣化,奉…为神圣;尊崇;奉献 | |
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54 enquiring | |
a.爱打听的,显得好奇的 | |
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55 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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56 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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57 devoutly | |
adv.虔诚地,虔敬地,衷心地 | |
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58 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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59 sobbed | |
哭泣,啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 ); 哭诉,呜咽地说 | |
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60 vent | |
n.通风口,排放口;开衩;vt.表达,发泄 | |
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61 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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62 groan | |
vi./n.呻吟,抱怨;(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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63 calamity | |
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件 | |
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64 alienation | |
n.疏远;离间;异化 | |
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65 rends | |
v.撕碎( rend的第三人称单数 );分裂;(因愤怒、痛苦等而)揪扯(衣服或头发等);(声音等)刺破 | |
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66 utterance | |
n.用言语表达,话语,言语 | |
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67 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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68 wringing | |
淋湿的,湿透的 | |
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