They don't feel a thing there, Cam thought, looking at the shore, which,rising and falling, became steadily1 more distant and more peaceful. Herhand cut a trail in the sea, as her mind made the green swirls2 and streaksinto patterns and, numbed3 and shrouded4, wandered in imagination inthat underworld of waters where the pearls stuck in clusters to whitesprays, where in the green light a change came over one's entire mindand one's body shone half transparent5 enveloped6 in a green cloak.
Then the eddy7 slackened round her hand. The rush of the waterceased; the world became full of little creaking and squeaking8 sounds.
One heard the waves breaking and flapping against the side of the boatas if they were anchored in harbour. Everything became very close toone. For the sail, upon which James had his eyes fixed9 until it had becometo him like a person whom he knew, sagged10 entirely11; there theycame to a stop, flapping about waiting for a breeze, in the hot sun, milesfrom shore, miles from the Lighthouse. Everything in the whole worldseemed to stand still. The Lighthouse became immovable, and the line ofthe distant shore became fixed. The sun grew hotter and everybodyseemed to come very close together and to feel each other's presence,which they had almost forgotten. Macalister's fishing line went plumbdown into the sea. But Mr Ramsay went on reading with his legs curledunder him.
He was reading a little shiny book with covers mottled like a plover'segg. Now and again, as they hung about in that horrid12 calm, he turned apage. And James felt that each page was turned with a peculiar13 gestureaimed at him; now assertively14, now commandingly; now with the intentionof making people pity him; and all the time, as his father read andturned one after another of those little pages, James kept dreading15 themoment when he would look up and speak sharply to him aboutsomething or other. Why were they lagging about here? he would demand,or something quite unreasonable16 like that. And if he does, Jamesthought, then I shall take a knife and strike him to the heart.
He had always kept this old symbol of taking a knife and striking hisfather to the heart. Only now, as he grew older, and sat staring at hisfather in an impotent rage, it was not him, that old man reading, whomhe wanted to kill, but it was the thing that descended17 on him—withouthis knowing it perhaps: that fierce sudden black-winged harpy, with itstalons and its beak18 all cold and hard, that struck and struck at you (hecould feel the beak on his bare legs, where it had struck when he was achild) and then made off, and there he was again, an old man, very sad,reading his book. That he would kill, that he would strike to the heart.
Whatever he did—(and he might do anything, he felt, looking at theLighthouse and the distant shore) whether he was in a business, in abank, a barrister, a man at the head of some enterprise, that he wouldfight, that he would track down and stamp out—tyranny, despotism, hecalled it—making people do what they did not want to do, cutting offtheir right to speak. How could any of them say, But I won't, when hesaid, Come to the Lighthouse. Do this. Fetch me that. The black wingsspread, and the hard beak tore. And then next moment, there he satreading his book; and he might look up—one never knew—quite reasonably.
He might talk to the Macalisters. He might be pressing a sovereigninto some frozen old woman's hand in the street, James thought, and hemight be shouting out at some fisherman's sports; he might be wavinghis arms in the air with excitement. Or he might sit at the head of thetable dead silent from one end of dinner to the other. Yes, thought James,while the boat slapped and dawdled19 there in the hot sun; there was awaste of snow and rock very lonely and austere20; and there he had cometo feel, quite often lately, when his father said something or didsomething which surprised the others, there were two pairs of footprintsonly; his own and his father's. They alone knew each other. What thenwas this terror, this hatred21? Turning back among the many leaves whichthe past had folded in him, peering into the heart of that forest wherelight and shade so chequer each other that all shape is distorted, and oneblunders, now with the sun in one's eyes, now with a dark shadow, hesought an image to cool and detach and round off his feeling in a concreteshape. Suppose then that as a child sitting helpless in a perambulator,or on some one's knee, he had seen a waggon22 crush ignorantly andinnocently, some one's foot? Suppose he had seen the foot first, in thegrass, smooth, and whole; then the wheel; and the same foot, purple,crushed. But the wheel was innocent. So now, when his father camestriding down the passage knocking them up early in the morning to go to the Lighthouse down it came over his foot, over Cam's foot, overanybody's foot. One sat and watched it.
But whose foot was he thinking of, and in what garden did all thishappen? For one had settings for these scenes; trees that grew there;flowers; a certain light; a few figures. Everything tended to set itself in agarden where there was none of this gloom. None of this throwing ofhands about; people spoke23 in an ordinary tone of voice. They went inand out all day long. There was an old woman gossiping in the kitchen;and the blinds were sucked in and out by the breeze; all was blowing, allwas growing; and over all those plates and bowls and tall brandishingred and yellow flowers a very thin yellow veil would be drawn24, like avine leaf, at night. Things became stiller and darker at night. But the leaf-like veil was so fine, that lights lifted it, voices crinkled it; he could seethrough it a figure stooping, hear, coming close, going away, some dressrustling, some chain tinkling25.
It was in this world that the wheel went over the person's foot. Something,he remembered, stayed flourished up in the air, something aridand sharp descended even there, like a blade, a scimitar, smiting26 throughthe leaves and flowers even of that happy world and making it shriveland fall.
"It will rain," he remembered his father saying. "You won't be able togo to the Lighthouse."The Lighthouse was then a silvery, misty-looking tower with a yelloweye, that opened suddenly, and softly in the evening. Now—James looked at the Lighthouse. He could see the white-washed rocks;the tower, stark27 and straight; he could see that it was barred with blackand white; he could see windows in it; he could even see washing spreadon the rocks to dry. So that was the Lighthouse, was it?
No, the other was also the Lighthouse. For nothing was simply onething. The other Lighthouse was true too. It was sometimes hardly to beseen across the bay. In the evening one looked up and saw the eye openingand shutting and the light seemed to reach them in that airy sunnygarden where they sat.
But he pulled himself up. Whenever he said "they" or "a person," andthen began hearing the rustle28 of some one coming, the tinkle29 of some onegoing, he became extremely sensitive to the presence of whoever mightbe in the room. It was his father now. The strain was acute. For in onemoment if there was no breeze, his father would slap the covers of hisbook together, and say: "What's happening now? What are we dawdling about here for, eh?" as, once before he had brought his blade downamong them on the terrace and she had gone stiff all over, and if therehad been an axe30 handy, a knife, or anything with a sharp point he wouldhave seized it and struck his father through the heart. She had gone stiffall over, and then, her arm slackening, so that he felt she listened to himno longer, she had risen somehow and gone away and left him there, impotent,ridiculous, sitting on the floor grasping a pair of scissors.
Not a breath of wind blew. The water chuckled31 and gurgled in the bottomof the boat where three or four mackerel beat their tails up anddown in a pool of water not deep enough to cover them. At any momentMr Ramsay (he scarcely dared look at him) might rouse himself, shut hisbook, and say something sharp; but for the moment he was reading, sothat James stealthily, as if he were stealing downstairs on bare feet,afraid of waking a watchdog by a creaking board, went on thinking whatwas she like, where did she go that day? He began following her fromroom to room and at last they came to a room where in a blue light, as ifthe reflection came from many china dishes, she talked to somebody; helistened to her talking. She talked to a servant, saying simply whatevercame into her head. She alone spoke the truth; to her alone could hespeak it. That was the source of her everlasting32 attraction for him, perhaps;she was a person to whom one could say what came into one'shead. But all the time he thought of her, he was conscious of his fatherfollowing his thought, surveying it, making it shiver and falter33. At last heceased to think.
There he sat with his hand on the tiller in the sun, staring at the Lighthouse,powerless to move, powerless to flick34 off these grains of miserywhich settled on his mind one after another. A rope seemed to bind35 himthere, and his father had knotted it and he could only escape by taking aknife and plunging36 it… But at that moment the sail swung slowly round,filled slowly out, the boat seemed to shake herself, and then to move offhalf conscious in her sleep, and then she woke and shot through thewaves. The relief was extraordinary. They all seemed to fall away fromeach other again and to be at their ease, and the fishing-lines slanted37 tautacross the side of the boat. But his father did not rouse himself. He onlyraised his right hand mysteriously high in the air, and let it fall upon hisknee again as if he were conducting some secret symphony.
收听单词发音 |
1
steadily
|
|
| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
swirls
|
|
| n.旋转( swirl的名词复数 )；卷状物；漩涡；尘旋v.旋转，打旋( swirl的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
numbed
|
|
| v.使麻木，使麻痹( numb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
shrouded
|
|
| v.隐瞒( shroud的过去式和过去分词 )；保密 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
transparent
|
|
| adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
enveloped
|
|
| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
eddy
|
|
| n.漩涡，涡流 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
squeaking
|
|
| v.短促地尖叫( squeak的现在分词 )；吱吱叫；告密；充当告密者 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
fixed
|
|
| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
sagged
|
|
| 下垂的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
entirely
|
|
| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
horrid
|
|
| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
peculiar
|
|
| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
assertively
|
|
| 断言地，独断地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
dreading
|
|
| v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
unreasonable
|
|
| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
descended
|
|
| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
beak
|
|
| n.鸟嘴，茶壶嘴，钩形鼻 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
dawdled
|
|
| v.混（时间）( dawdle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
austere
|
|
| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
hatred
|
|
| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
waggon
|
|
| n.运货马车，运货车；敞篷车箱 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
drawn
|
|
| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
tinkling
|
|
| n.丁当作响声 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
smiting
|
|
| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
stark
|
|
| adj.荒凉的；严酷的；完全的；adv.完全地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
rustle
|
|
| v.沙沙作响；偷盗(牛、马等)；n.沙沙声声 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
tinkle
|
|
| vi.叮当作响；n.叮当声 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
axe
|
|
| n.斧子；v.用斧头砍，削减 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
chuckled
|
|
| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
everlasting
|
|
| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
falter
|
|
| vi.(嗓音)颤抖，结巴地说；犹豫；蹒跚 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
flick
|
|
| n.快速的轻打，轻打声，弹开；v.轻弹，轻轻拂去，忽然摇动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
bind
|
|
| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
plunging
|
|
| adj.跳进的，突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
slanted
|
|
| 有偏见的； 倾斜的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |