A New Use for a Tea-tableIf I were to detail the ordinary events of my daily life at this time,they might prove instructive to people who are not familiar with the insideof palaces; if I revealed some of the secrets I learnt, they might prove ofinterest to the statesmen of Europe. I intend to do neither of these things. Ishould be between the Scylla of dullness and the Charybdis of indiscretion,and I feel that I had far better confine myself strictly1 to the undergrounddrama which was being played beneath the surface of Ruritanian politics. Ineed only say that the secret of my imposture2 defied detection. I mademistakes. I had bad minutes: it needed all the tact3 and graciousnesswhereof I was master to smooth over some apparent lapses4 of memory andunmindfulness of old acquaintances of which I was guilty. But I escaped,and I attribute my escape, as I have said before, most of all, to the veryaudacity of the enterprise. It is my belief that, given the necessary physicallikeness, it was far easier to pretend to be King of Ruritania than it wouldhave been to personate my next-door neighbour. One day Sapt came intomy room. He threw me a letter, saying:
"That's for you--a woman's hand, I think. But I've some news for youfirst.""What's that?""The King's at the Castle of Zenda," said he.
"How do you know?,"Because the other half of Michael's Six are there. I had enquiriesmade, and they're all there--Lauengram, Krafstein, and young RupertHentzau: three rogues5, too, on my honour, as fine as live in Ruritania.""Well?""Well, Fritz wants you to march to the Castle with horse, foot, andartillery.""And drag the moat?'I asked.
"That would be about it," grinned Sapt, "and we shouldn't find theKing's body then.""You think it's certain he's there?""Very probable. Besides the fact of those three being there, thedrawbridge is kept up, and no one goes in without an order from youngHentzau or Black Michael himself. We must tie Fritz up.""I'll go to Zenda," said I.
"You're mad.""Some day.""Oh, perhaps. You'll very likely stay there though, if you do.""That may be, my friend," said I carelessly.
"His Majesty6 looks sulky," observed Sapt. "How's the love affair?""Damn you, hold your tongue!" I said.
He looked at me for a moment, then he lit his pipe. It was quite truethat I was in a bad temper, and I went on perversely7:
"Wherever I go, I'm dodged8 by half a dozen fellows.""I know you are; I send 'em," he replied composedly.
"What for?""Well," said Sapt, puffing9 away, "it wouldn't be exactly inconvenientfor Black Michael if you disappeared. With you gone, the old game thatwe stopped would be played--or he'd have a shot at it.""I can take care of myself.""De Gautet, Bersonin, and Detchard are in Strelsau; and any one ofthem, lad, would cut your throat as readily--as readily as I would BlackMichael's, and a deal more treacherously10. What's the letter?"I opened it and read it aloud:
"If the King desires to know what it deeply concerns the King to know,let him do as this letter bids him. At the end of the New Avenue therestands a house in large grounds. The house has a portico11, with a statue of anymph on it. A wall encloses the garden; there is a gate in the wall at theback. At twelve o'clock tonight, if the King enters alone by that gate, turnsto the right, and walks twenty yards, he will find a summerhouse,approached by a flight of six steps. If he mounts and enters, he will findsomeone who will tell him what touches most dearly his life and histhrone. This is written by a faithful friend. He must be alone. If he neglectsthe invitation his life will be in danger. Let him show this to no one, or he will ruin a woman who loves him: Black Michael does not pardon.""No," observed Sapt, as I ended, "but he can dictate12 a very prettyletter."I had arrived at the same conclusion, and was about to throw the letteraway, when I saw there was more writing on the other side.
"Hallo! there's some more.""If you hesitate," the writer continued, "consult Colonel Sapt--""Eh," exclaimed that gentleman, genuinely astonished. "Does she takeme for a greater fool than you?"I waved to him to be silent.
"Ask him what woman would do most to prevent the duke frommarrying his cousin,and therefore most to prevent him becoming king?
And ask if her name begins with--A? "I sprang to my feet. Sapt laid down his pipe.
"Antoinette de Mauban, by heaven!" I cried.
"How do you know?'asked Sapt.
I told him what I knew of the lady, and how I knew it. He nodded.
"It's so far true that she's had a great row with Michael," said he,thoughtfully.
"If she would, she could be useful," I said.
"I believe, though, that Michael wrote that letter.""So do I, but I mean to know for certain. I shall go, Sapt.""No, I shall go," said he.
"You may go as far as the gate.""I shall go to the summer-house.""I'm hanged if you shall!"I rose and leant my back against the mantelpiece.
"Sapt, I believe in that woman, and I shall go.""I don't believe in any woman," said Sapt, "and you shan't go.""I either go to the summer-house or back to England," said I.
Sapt began to know exactly how far he could lead or drive, and whenhe must follow.
"We're playing against time," I added. "Every day we leave the Kingwhere he is there is fresh risk. Every day I masquerade like this, there is fresh risk. Sapt, we must play high; we must force the game.""So be it," he said, with a sigh.
To cut the story short, at half-past eleven that night Sapt and I mountedour horses. Fritz was again left on guard, our destination not beingrevealed to him. It was a very dark night. I wore no sword, but I carried arevolver, a long knife, and a bull's-eye lantern. We arrived outside the gate.
I dismounted. Sapt held out his hand.
"I shall wait here," he said. "If I hear a shot, I'll--""Stay where you are; it's the King's only chance. You mustn't come togrief too.""You're right, lad. Good luck!"I pressed the little gate. It yielded, and I found myself in a wild sort ofshrubbery. There was a grass-grown path and, turning to the right as I hadbeen bidden, I followed it cautiously. My lantern was closed, the revolverwas in my hand. I heard not a sound. Presently a large dark object loomedout of the gloom ahead of me. It was the summer-house. Reaching thesteps, I mounted them and found myself confronted by a weak, ricketywooden door, which hung upon the latch13. I pushed it open and walked in.
A woman flew to me and seized my hand.
"Shut the door," she whispered.
I obeyed and turned the light of my lantern on her. She was in eveningdress, arrayed very sumptuously14, and her dark striking beauty wasmarvellously displayed in the glare of the bull's-eye. The summer-housewas a bare little room, furnished only with a couple of chairs and a smalliron table, such as one sees in a tea garden or an open-air cafe.
"Don't talk," she said. "We've no time. Listen! I know you, Mr.
Rassendyll. I wrote that letter at the duke's orders.""So I thought," said I.
"In twenty minutes three men will be here to kill you.""Three--the three?""Yes. You must be gone by then. If not, tonight you'll be killed--""Or they will.""Listen, listen! When you're killed, your body will be taken to a lowquarter of the town. It will be found there. Michael will at once arrest all your friends--Colonel Sapt and Captain von Tarlenheim first--proclaim astate of siege in Strelsau, and send a messenger to Zenda. The other threewill murder the King in the Castle, and the duke will proclaim eitherhimself or the princess--himself, if he is strong enough. Anyhow, he'llmarry her, and become king in fact, and soon in name. Do you see?""It's a pretty plot. But why, madame, do you--?""Say I'm a Christian--or say I'm jealous. My God! shall I see himmarry her? Now go; but remember--this is what I have to tell you--thatnever, by night or by day, are you safe. Three men follow you as a guard.
Is it not so? Well, three follow them; Michael's three are never twohundred yards from you. Your life is not worth a moment if ever they findyou alone. Now go. Stay, the gate will be guarded by now. Go down softly,go past the summer-house, on for a hundred yards, and you'll find a ladderagainst the wall. Get over it, and fly for your life.""And you?" I asked.
"I have my game to play too. If he finds out what I have done, we shallnot meet again. If not, I may yet--But never mind. Go at once.""But what will you tell him?""That you never came--that you saw through the trick."I took her hand and kissed it.
"Madame," said I, "you have served the King well tonight. Where is hein the Castle?"She sank her voice to a fearful whisper. I listened eagerly.
"Across the drawbridge you come to a heavy door; behind that lies-Hark!
What's that?"There were steps outside.
"They're coming! They're too soon! Heavens! they're too soon!" andshe turned pale as death.
"They seem to me," said I, "to be in the nick of time.""Close your lantern. See, there's a chink in the door. Can you seethem?"I put my eye to the chink. On the lowest step I saw three dim figures. Icocked my revolver. Antoinette hastily laid her hand on mine.
"You may kill one," said she. "But what then?"A voice came from outside--a voice that spoke15 perfect English.
"Mr. Rassendyll," it said.
I made no answer.
"We want to talk to you. Will you promise not to shoot till we'vedone?""Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Detchard?" I said.
"Never mind names.""Then let mine alone.""All right, sire. I've an offer for you."I still had my eye to the chink. The three had mounted two steps more;three revolvers pointed16 full at the door.
"Will you let us in? We pledge our honour to observe the truce17.""Don't trust them," whispered Antoinette.
"We can speak through the door," said I.
"But you might open it and fire," objected Detchard; "and though weshould finish you, you might finish one of us. Will you give your honournot to fire while we talk?""Don't trust them," whispered Antoinette again.
A sudden idea struck me. I considered it for a moment. It seemedfeasible.
"I give my honour not to fire before you do," said I; "but I won't letyou in. Stand outside and talk.""That's sensible," he said.
The three mounted the last step, and stood just outside the door. I laidmy ear to the chink. I could hear no words, but Detchard's head was closeto that of the taller of his companions (De Gautet, I guessed).
"H'm! Private communications," thought I. Then I said aloud:
"Well, gentlemen, what's the offer?""A safe-conduct to the frontier, and fifty thousand pounds English.""No, no," whispered Antoinette in the lowest of whispers. "They aretreacherous.""That seems handsome," said I, reconnoitring through the chink. Theywere all close together, just outside the door now.
I had probed the hearts of the ruffians, and I did not need Antoinette's warning. They meant to "rush" me as soon as I was engaged in talk.
"Give me a minute to consider," said I; and I thought I heard a laughoutside.
I turned to Antoinette.
"Stand up close to the wall, out of the line of fire from the door," Iwhispered.
"What are you going to do?" she asked in fright.
"You'll see," said I.
I took up the little iron table. It was not very heavy for a man of mystrength, and I held it by the legs. The top, protruding18 in front of me, madea complete screen for my head and body. I fastened my closed lantern tomy belt and put my revolver in a handy pocket. Suddenly I saw the doormove ever so slightly-- perhaps it was the wind, perhaps it was a handtrying it outside.
I drew back as far as I could from the door, holding the table in theposition that I have described. Then I called out:
"Gentlemen, I accept your offer, relying on your honour. If you willopen the door--""Open it yourself," said Detchard.
"It opens outwards," said I. "Stand back a little, gentlemen, or I shallhit you when I open it."I went and fumbled19 with the latch. Then I stole back to my place ontiptoe.
"I can't open it!" I cried. "The latch has caught.""Tut! I'll open it!" cried Detchard. "Nonsense, Bersonin, why not? Areyou afraid of one man?"I smiled to myself. An instant later the door was flung back. The gleamof a lantern showed me the three close together outside, their revolverslevelled. With a shout, I charged at my utmost pace across the summerhouseand through the doorway20. Three shots rang out and battered21 into myshield. Another moment, and I leapt out and the table caught them full andsquare, and in a tumbling, swearing, struggling mass, they and I and thatbrave table, rolled down the steps of the summerhouse to the groundbelow. Antoinette de Mauban shrieked22, but I rose to my feet, laughing aloud.
De Gautet and Bersonin lay like men stunned23. Detchard was under thetable, but, as I rose, he pushed it from him and fired again. I raised myrevolver and took a snap shot; I heard him curse, and then I ran like a hare,laughing as I went, past the summer-house and along by the wall. I heardsteps behind me, and turning round I fired again for luck. The stepsceased.
"Please God," said I, "she told me the truth about the ladder!" for thewall was high and topped with iron spikes24.
Yes, there it was. I was up and over in a minute. Doubling back, I sawthe horses; then I heard a shot. It was Sapt. He had heard us, and wasbattling and raging with the locked gate, hammering it and firing into thekeyhole like a man possessed25. He had quite forgotten that he was not totake part in the fight. Whereat I laughed again, and said, as I clapped himon the shoulder:
"Come home to bed, old chap. I've got the finest tea-table story thatever you heard!"He started and cried: "You're safe!" and wrung26 my hand. But amoment later he added:
"And what the devil are you laughing at?""Four gentlemen round a tea-table," said I, laughing still, for it hadbeen uncommonly27 ludicrous to see the formidable three altogether routedand scattered28 with no more deadly weapon than an ordinary tea-table.
Moreover, you will observe that I had honourably29 kept my word, andnot fired till they did.
收听单词发音 |
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strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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imposture
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| n.冒名顶替，欺骗 | |
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3
tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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4
lapses
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| n.失误，过失( lapse的名词复数 )；小毛病；行为失检；偏离正道v.退步( lapse的第三人称单数 )；陷入；倒退；丧失 | |
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5
rogues
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| n.流氓( rogue的名词复数 )；无赖；调皮捣蛋的人；离群的野兽 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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7
perversely
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| adv. 倔强地 | |
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dodged
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| v.闪躲( dodge的过去式和过去分词 )；回避 | |
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puffing
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| v.使喷出( puff的现在分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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treacherously
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| 背信弃义地； 背叛地； 靠不住地； 危险地 | |
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11
portico
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| n.柱廊，门廊 | |
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dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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latch
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| n.门闩，窗闩；弹簧锁 | |
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sumptuously
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| 奢侈地，豪华地 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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truce
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| n.休战，(争执，烦恼等的)缓和；v.以停战结束 | |
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protruding
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| v.（使某物）伸出，（使某物）突出( protrude的现在分词 )；凸 | |
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fumbled
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| （笨拙地）摸索或处理（某事物）( fumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 乱摸，笨拙地弄； 使落下 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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battered
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| adj.磨损的；v.连续猛击；磨损 | |
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shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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stunned
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| adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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24
spikes
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| n.穗( spike的名词复数 )；跑鞋；（防滑）鞋钉；尖状物v.加烈酒于( spike的第三人称单数 )；偷偷地给某人的饮料加入（更多）酒精（ 或药物）；把尖状物钉入；打乱某人的计划 | |
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25
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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uncommonly
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| adv. 稀罕(极，非常) | |
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28
scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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29
honourably
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| adv.可尊敬地，光荣地，体面地 | |
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