‘Give sorrow leave awhile, to tutor me
To this submission1.’ — Richard II.
MEANWHILE Felix Holt had been making his way back from Sproxton to Treby in some irritation2 and bitterness of spirit. For a little while he walked slowly along the direct road, hoping that Mr Johnson would overtake him, in which case he would have the pleasure of quarrelling with him, and telling him what he thought of his intentions in coming to cant3 at the Sugar Loaf. But he presently checked himself in this folly4 and turned off again towards the canal, that he might avoid the temptation of getting into a passion to no purpose.
‘Where’s the good,’ he thought, ‘of pulling at such a tangled5 skein as this electioneering trickery? As long as three-fourths of the men in this country see nothing in an election but self-interest, and nothing in self-interest but some form of greed, one might as well try to purify the proceedings6 of the fishes and say to a hungry cod-fish — “My good friend, abstain7; don’t goggle8 your eyes so, or show such a stupid gluttonous9 mouth, or think the little fishes are worth nothing except in relation to your own inside.” He’d be open to no argument short of crimping him. I should get into a rage with this fellow, and perhaps end by thrashing him. There’s some reason in me as long as I keep my temper, but my rash humour is drunkenness without wine. I shouldn’t wonder if he upsets all my plans with these colliers. Of course he’s going to treat them for the sake of getting up a posse at the nomination10 and speechifyings. They’ll drink double, and never come near me on a Saturday evening. I don’t know what sort of man Transome really is. It’s no use my speaking to anybody else, but if I could get at him, he might put a veto on this thing. Though, when once the men have been promised and set agoing, the mischief11 is likely to be past mending. Hang the Liberal cod-fish! I shouldn’t have minded so much if he’d been a Tory!’
Felix went along in the twilight12 struggling in this way with the intricacies of life, which would certainly be greatly simplified if corrupt13 practices were the invariable mark of wrong opinions. When he had crossed the common and had entered the park, the overshadowing trees deepened the grey gloom of the evening; it was useless to try and keep the blind path, and he could only be careful that his steps should be bent14 in the direction of the park-gate. He was striding along rapidly now, whistling ‘Bannockburn’ in a subdued15 way as an accompaniment to his inward discussion, when something smooth and soft on which his foot alighted arrested him with an unpleasant startling sensation, and made him stoop to examine the object he was treading on. He found it to be a large leather pocket-book swelled17 by its contents, and fastened with a sealed ribbon as well as a clasp. In stooping he saw about a yard off something whitish and square lying on the dark grass. This was an ornamental18 note-book of pale leather stamped with gold. Apparently19 it had burst open in falling, and out of the pocket, formed by the cover, there protruded20 a small gold chain about four inches long, with various seals and other trifles attached to it by a ring at the end. Felix thrust the chain back, and finding that the clasp of the note-book was broken, he closed it and thrust it into his side-pocket, walking along under some annoyance21 that fortune had made him the finder of articles belonging most probably to one of the family at Treby Manor23. He was much too proud a man to like any contact with the aristocracy, and he could still less endure coming within speech of their servants. Some plan must be devised by which he could avoid carrying these things up to the Manor himself: he thought at first of leaving them at the lodge24, but he had a scruple25 against placing property, of which the ownership was after all uncertain, in the hands of persons unknown to him. It was possible that the large pocket-book contained papers of high importance, and that it did not belong to any of the Debarry family. He resolved at last to carry his findings to Mr Lyon, who would perhaps be good-natured enough to save him from the necessary transactions with the people at the Manor by undertaking26 those transactions himself. With this determination he walked straight to Malthouse Yard, and waited outside the chapel27 until the congregation was dispersing28, when he passed along the aisle29 to the vestry in order to speak to the minister in private.
But Mr Lyon was not alone when Felix entered. Mr Nuttwood, the grocer, who was one of the deacons, was complaining to him about the obstinate30 demeanour of the singers, who had declined to change the tunes31 in accordance with a change in the selection of hymns32, and had stretched short metre into long out of pure wilfulness33 and defiance34, irreverently adapting the most sacred monosyllables to a multitude of wandering quavers, arranged, it was to be feared, by some musician who was inspired by conceit35 rather than by the true spirit of psalmody.
‘Come in, my friend,’ said Mr Lyon, smiling at Felix, and then continuing in a faint voice, while he wiped the perspiration37 from his brow and bald crown, ‘Brother Nuttwood, we must be content to carry a thorn in our sides while the necessities of our imperfect state demand that there should be a body set apart and called a choir38, whose special office it is to lead the singing, not because they are more disposed to the devout39 uplifting of praise, but because they are endowed with better vocal40 organs, and have attained41 more of the musician’s art. For all office, unless it be accompanied by peculiar42 grace, becomes, as it were, a diseased organ, seeking to make itself too much of a centre. Singers, specially43 so called, are, it must be confessed, an anomaly among us who seek to reduce the church to its primitive44 simplicity45, and to cast away all that may obstruct46 the direct communion of spirit with spirit.’
‘They are so headstrong,’ said Mr Nuttwood, in a tone of sad perplexity, ‘that if we dealt not warily47 with them, they might end in dividing the church, even now that we have had the chapel enlarged. Brother Kemp would side with them, and draw the half part of the members after him. I cannot but think it a snare48 when a professing49 Christian50 has a bass51 voice like Brother Kemp’s. It makes him desire to be heard of men; but the weaker song of the humble52 may have more power in the ear of God.’
‘Do you think it any better vanity to flatter yourself that God likes to hear you, though men don’t?’ said Felix, with unwarrantable bluntness.
The civil grocer was prepared to be scandalised by anything that came from Felix. In common with many hearers in Malthouse Yard, he already felt an objection to a young man who was notorious for having interfered53 in a question of wholesale54 and retail55, which should have been left to Providence56. Old Mr Holt, being a church member, had probably had ‘leadings’ which were more to be relied on than his son’s boasted knowledge. In any case, a little visceral disturbance57 and inward chastisement58 to the consumers of questionable59 medicines would tend less to obscure the divine glory than a show of punctilious60 morality in one who was not a ‘professor’. Besides, how was it to be known that the medicines would not be blessed, if taken with due trust in a higher influence? A Christian must consider not the medicines alone in their relation to our frail61 bodies (which are dust), but the medicines with Omnipotence62 behind them. Hence a pious63 vendor64 will look for ‘leadings’, and he is likely to find them in the cessation of demand and the disproportion of expenses and returns. The grocer was thus on his guard against the presumptuous65 disputant.
‘Mr Lyon may understand you, sir,’ he replied. ‘He seems to be fond of your conversation. But you have too much of the pride of human learning for me. I follow no new lights.’
‘Then follow an old one,’ said Felix, mischievously66 disposed towards a sleek67 tradesman. ‘Follow the light of the old-fashioned Presbyterians that I’ve heard sing at Glasgow. The preacher gives out the psalm36, and then everybody sings a different tune22, as it happens to turn up in their throats. It’s a domineering thing to set a tune and expect everybody else to follow it. It’s a denial of private judgement.’
‘Hush68, hush, my young friend,’ said Mr Lyon, hurt by this levity69, which glanced at himself as well as at the deacon. ‘Play not with paradoxes70. That caustic71 which you handle in order to scorch72 others may happen to sear your own fingers and make them dead to the quality of things. ’Tis difficult enough to see our way and keep our torch steady in this dim labyrinth73: to whirl the torch and dazzle the eyes of our fellow-seekers is a poor daring, and may end in total darkness. You yourself are a lover of freedom, and a bold rebel against usurping74 authority. But the right to rebellion is the right to seek a higher rule, and not to wander in mere75 lawlessness. Wherefore, I beseech76 you, seem not to say that liberty is licence. And I apprehend77 — though I am not endowed with an ear to seize those earthly harmonies, which to some devout souls have seemed, as it were, the broken echoes of the heavenly choir — I apprehend that there is a law in music, disobedience whereunto would bring us in our singing to the level of shrieking79 maniacs80 or howling beasts: so that herein we are well instructed how true liberty can be nought81 but the transfer of obedience78 from the will of one or of a few men to that will which is the norm or rule for all men. And though the transfer may sometimes be but an erroneous direction of search, yet is the search good and necessary to the ultimate finding. And even as in music, where all obey and concur82 to one end, so that each has the joy of contributing to a whole whereby he is ravished and lifted up into the courts of heaven so will it be in that crowning time of the millennial83 reign84, when our daily prayer will be fulfilled, and one law shall be written on all hearts, and be the very structure of all thought, and be the principle of all action.
Tired, even exhausted85, as the minister had been when Felix Holt entered, the gathering86 excitement of speech gave more and more energy to his voice and manner; he walked away from the vestry table, he paused, and came back to it; he walked away again, then came back, and ended with his deepest-toned largo87, keeping his hands clasped behind him, while his brown eyes were bright with the lasting88 youthfulness of enthusiastic thought and love. But to any one who had no share in the energies that were thrilling his little body, he would have looked queer enough. No sooner had he finished his eager speech, than he held out his hand to the deacon, and said, in his former faint tone of fatigue89 —
‘God be with you, brother. We shall meet tomorrow, and we will see what can be done to subdue16 these refractory90 spirits.’
When the deacon was gone, Felix said, ‘Forgive me, Mr Lyon; I was wrong, and you are right.’
‘Yes, yes, my friend; you have that mark of grace within you, that you are ready to acknowledge the justice of a rebuke91. Sit down; you have something to say — some packet there.’
They sat down at a corner of the small table, and Felix drew the note-book from his pocket to lay it down with the pocket-book, saying —
‘I’ve had the ill-luck to be the finder of these things in the Debarrys’ Park. Most likely they belong to one of the family at the Manor, or to some grandee92 who is staying there. I hate having anything to do with such people. They’ll think me a poor rascal93, and offer me money. You are a known man, and I thought you would be kind enough to relieve me by taking charge of these things, and writing to Debarry, not mentioning me, and asking him to send some one for them. I found them on the grass in the park this evening about half-past seven, in the corner we cross going to Sproxton.’
‘Stay,’ said Mr Lyon, ‘this little book is open; we may venture to look in it for some sign of ownership. There be others who possess property, and might be crossing that end of the park, beside the Debarrys.’
As he lifted the note-book close to his eyes, the chain again slipped out. He arrested it and held it in his hand, while he examined some writing, which appeared to be a name on the inner leather. He looked long, as if he were trying to decipher something that was partly rubbed out; and his hands began to tremble noticeably. He made a movement in an agitated94 manner, as if he were going to examine the chain and seals, which he held in his hand. But he checked himself, closed his hand again, and rested it on the table, while with the other hand he pressed sides of the note-book together.
Felix observed his agitation95, and was much surprised; but with a delicacy96 of which he was capable under all his abruptness97, he said, ‘You are overcome with fatigue, sir. I was thoughtless to tease you with these matters at the end of Sunday, when you have been preaching three sermons.’
Mr Lyon did not speak for a few moments, but at last he said —
‘It is true. I am overcome. It was a name I saw — a name that called up a past sorrow. Fear not; I will do what is needful with these things. You may trust them to me.’
With trembling fingers he replaced the chain, and tied both the large pocket-book and the note-book in his handkerchief. He was evidently making a great effort over himself. But when he had gathered the knot of the handkerchief in his hand, he said —
‘Give me your arm to the door, my friend. I feel ill. Doubtless I am over-wearied.’
The door was already open, and Lyddy was watching for her master’s return. Felix therefore said ‘Good-night’ and passed on, sure that this was what Mr Lyon would prefer. The minister’s supper of warm porridge was ready by the kitchen-fire, where he always took it on a Sunday evening, and afterwards smoked his weekly pipe up the broad chimney — the one great relaxation98 he allowed himself. Smoking, he considered, was a recreation of the travailed spirit, which, if indulged in, might endear this world to us by the ignoble99 bonds of mere sensuous100 ease. Daily smoking might be lawful101, but it was not expedient102. And in this Esther concurred103 with a doctrinal eagerness that was unusual in her. It was her habit to go to her own room, professedly to bed, very early on Sundays — immediately on her return from chapel — that she might avoid her father’s pipe. But this evening she had remained at home, under a true plea of not feeling well; and when she heard him enter, she ran out of the parlour to meet him.
‘Father, you are ill,’ she said, as he tottered104 to the wicker-bottomed arm-chair, while Lyddy stood by, shaking her head.
‘No, my dear,’ he answered feebly, as she took off his hat and looked in his face inquiringly; ‘I am weary.’
‘Let me lay these things down for you,’ said Esther, touching105 the bundle in the handkerchief.
‘No; they are matters which I have to examine,’ he said, laying them on the table, and putting his arm across them. ‘Go you to bed, Lyddy.’
‘Not me, sir. If ever a man looked as if he was struck with death, it’s you, this very night as here is.’
‘Nonsense, Lyddy,’ said Esther angrily. ‘Go to bed when my father desires it. I will stay with him.’
Lyddy was electrified106 by surprise at this new behaviour of Miss Esther’s. She took her candle silently and went.
‘Go you too, my dear,’ said Mr Lyon, tenderly, giving his hand to Esther, when Lyddy was gone. ‘It is your wont107 to go early. Why are you up?’
‘Let me lift your porridge from before the fire, and stay with you, father. You think I’m so naughty that I don’t like doing anything for you,’ said Esther, smiling rather sadly at him.
‘Child, what has happened? you have become the image of your mother to-night,’ said the minister, in a loud whisper. The tears came and relieved him, while Esther, who had stooped to lift the porridge from the fender, paused on one knee and looked up at him. ‘She was very good to you?’ asked Esther, softly.
‘Yes, dear. She did not reject my affection. She thought not scorn of my love. She would have forgiven me, if I had erred108 against her, from very tenderness. Could you forgive me, child?’
‘Father, I have not been good to you; but I will be, I will be,’ said Esther, laying her head on his knee.
He kissed her head. ‘Go to bed, my dear; I would be alone.’
When Esther was lying down that night, she felt as if the little incidents between herself and her father on this Sunday had made it an epoch109. Very slight words and deeds may have a sacramental efficacy, if we can cast our self-love behind us, in order to say or do them. And it has been well believed through many ages that the beginning of compunction is the beginning of a new life; that the mind which sees itself blameless may be called dead in trespasses110 — in trespasses on the love of others, in trespasses on their weakness, in trespasses on all those great claims which are the image of our own need.
But Esther persisted in assuring herself that she was not bending to any criticism from Felix. She was full of resentment111 against his rudeness, and yet more against his too harsh conception of her character. She was determined112 to keep as much at a distance from him as possible.
1 submission | |
n.服从,投降;温顺,谦虚;提出 | |
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2 irritation | |
n.激怒,恼怒,生气 | |
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3 cant | |
n.斜穿,黑话,猛扔 | |
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4 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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5 tangled | |
adj. 纠缠的,紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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6 proceedings | |
n.进程,过程,议程;诉讼(程序);公报 | |
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7 abstain | |
v.自制,戒绝,弃权,避免 | |
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8 goggle | |
n.瞪眼,转动眼珠,护目镜;v.瞪眼看,转眼珠 | |
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9 gluttonous | |
adj.贪吃的,贪婪的 | |
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10 nomination | |
n.提名,任命,提名权 | |
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11 mischief | |
n.损害,伤害,危害;恶作剧,捣蛋,胡闹 | |
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12 twilight | |
n.暮光,黄昏;暮年,晚期,衰落时期 | |
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13 corrupt | |
v.贿赂,收买;adj.腐败的,贪污的 | |
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14 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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15 subdued | |
adj. 屈服的,柔和的,减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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16 subdue | |
vt.制服,使顺从,征服;抑制,克制 | |
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17 swelled | |
增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 ); 肿胀; (使)凸出; 充满(激情) | |
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18 ornamental | |
adj.装饰的;作装饰用的;n.装饰品;观赏植物 | |
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19 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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20 protruded | |
v.(使某物)伸出,(使某物)突出( protrude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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21 annoyance | |
n.恼怒,生气,烦恼 | |
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22 tune | |
n.调子;和谐,协调;v.调音,调节,调整 | |
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23 manor | |
n.庄园,领地 | |
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24 lodge | |
v.临时住宿,寄宿,寄存,容纳;n.传达室,小旅馆 | |
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25 scruple | |
n./v.顾忌,迟疑 | |
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26 undertaking | |
n.保证,许诺,事业 | |
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27 chapel | |
n.小教堂,殡仪馆 | |
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28 dispersing | |
adj. 分散的 动词disperse的现在分词形式 | |
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29 aisle | |
n.(教堂、教室、戏院等里的)过道,通道 | |
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30 obstinate | |
adj.顽固的,倔强的,不易屈服的,较难治愈的 | |
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31 tunes | |
n.曲调,曲子( tune的名词复数 )v.调音( tune的第三人称单数 );调整;(给收音机、电视等)调谐;使协调 | |
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32 hymns | |
n.赞美诗,圣歌,颂歌( hymn的名词复数 ) | |
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33 wilfulness | |
任性;倔强 | |
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34 defiance | |
n.挑战,挑衅,蔑视,违抗 | |
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35 conceit | |
n.自负,自高自大 | |
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36 psalm | |
n.赞美诗,圣诗 | |
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37 perspiration | |
n.汗水;出汗 | |
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38 choir | |
n.唱诗班,唱诗班的席位,合唱团,舞蹈团;v.合唱 | |
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39 devout | |
adj.虔诚的,虔敬的,衷心的 (n.devoutness) | |
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40 vocal | |
adj.直言不讳的;嗓音的;n.[pl.]声乐节目 | |
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41 attained | |
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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42 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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43 specially | |
adv.特定地;特殊地;明确地 | |
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44 primitive | |
adj.原始的;简单的;n.原(始)人,原始事物 | |
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45 simplicity | |
n.简单,简易;朴素;直率,单纯 | |
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46 obstruct | |
v.阻隔,阻塞(道路、通道等);n.阻碍物,障碍物 | |
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47 warily | |
adv.留心地 | |
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48 snare | |
n.陷阱,诱惑,圈套;(去除息肉或者肿瘤的)勒除器;响弦,小军鼓;vt.以陷阱捕获,诱惑 | |
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49 professing | |
声称( profess的现在分词 ); 宣称; 公开表明; 信奉 | |
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50 Christian | |
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
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51 bass | |
n.男低音(歌手);低音乐器;低音大提琴 | |
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52 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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53 interfered | |
v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 );调停;妨碍;干涉 | |
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54 wholesale | |
n.批发;adv.以批发方式;vt.批发,成批出售 | |
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55 retail | |
v./n.零售;adv.以零售价格 | |
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56 providence | |
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝 | |
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57 disturbance | |
n.动乱,骚动;打扰,干扰;(身心)失调 | |
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58 chastisement | |
n.惩罚 | |
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59 questionable | |
adj.可疑的,有问题的 | |
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60 punctilious | |
adj.谨慎的,谨小慎微的 | |
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61 frail | |
adj.身体虚弱的;易损坏的 | |
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62 omnipotence | |
n.全能,万能,无限威力 | |
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63 pious | |
adj.虔诚的;道貌岸然的 | |
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64 vendor | |
n.卖主;小贩 | |
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65 presumptuous | |
adj.胆大妄为的,放肆的,冒昧的,冒失的 | |
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66 mischievously | |
adv.有害地;淘气地 | |
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67 sleek | |
adj.光滑的,井然有序的;v.使光滑,梳拢 | |
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68 hush | |
int.嘘,别出声;n.沉默,静寂;v.使安静 | |
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69 levity | |
n.轻率,轻浮,不稳定,多变 | |
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70 paradoxes | |
n.似非而是的隽语,看似矛盾而实际却可能正确的说法( paradox的名词复数 );用于语言文学中的上述隽语;有矛盾特点的人[事物,情况] | |
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71 caustic | |
adj.刻薄的,腐蚀性的 | |
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72 scorch | |
v.烧焦,烤焦;高速疾驶;n.烧焦处,焦痕 | |
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73 labyrinth | |
n.迷宫;难解的事物;迷路 | |
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74 usurping | |
篡夺,霸占( usurp的现在分词 ); 盗用; 篡夺,篡权 | |
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75 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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76 beseech | |
v.祈求,恳求 | |
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77 apprehend | |
vt.理解,领悟,逮捕,拘捕,忧虑 | |
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78 obedience | |
n.服从,顺从 | |
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79 shrieking | |
v.尖叫( shriek的现在分词 ) | |
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80 maniacs | |
n.疯子(maniac的复数形式) | |
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81 nought | |
n./adj.无,零 | |
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82 concur | |
v.同意,意见一致,互助,同时发生 | |
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83 millennial | |
一千年的,千福年的 | |
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84 reign | |
n.统治时期,统治,支配,盛行;v.占优势 | |
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85 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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86 gathering | |
n.集会,聚会,聚集 | |
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87 largo | |
n.广板乐章;adj.缓慢的,宽广的;adv.缓慢地,宽广地 | |
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88 lasting | |
adj.永久的,永恒的;vbl.持续,维持 | |
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89 fatigue | |
n.疲劳,劳累 | |
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90 refractory | |
adj.倔强的,难驾驭的 | |
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91 rebuke | |
v.指责,非难,斥责 [反]praise | |
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92 grandee | |
n.贵族;大公 | |
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93 rascal | |
n.流氓;不诚实的人 | |
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94 agitated | |
adj.被鼓动的,不安的 | |
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95 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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96 delicacy | |
n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴 | |
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97 abruptness | |
n. 突然,唐突 | |
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98 relaxation | |
n.松弛,放松;休息;消遣;娱乐 | |
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99 ignoble | |
adj.不光彩的,卑鄙的;可耻的 | |
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100 sensuous | |
adj.激发美感的;感官的,感觉上的 | |
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101 lawful | |
adj.法律许可的,守法的,合法的 | |
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102 expedient | |
adj.有用的,有利的;n.紧急的办法,权宜之计 | |
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103 concurred | |
同意(concur的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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104 tottered | |
v.走得或动得不稳( totter的过去式和过去分词 );踉跄;蹒跚;摇摇欲坠 | |
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105 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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106 electrified | |
v.使电气化( electrify的过去式和过去分词 );使兴奋 | |
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107 wont | |
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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108 erred | |
犯错误,做错事( err的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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109 epoch | |
n.(新)时代;历元 | |
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110 trespasses | |
罪过( trespass的名词复数 ); 非法进入 | |
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111 resentment | |
n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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112 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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