And doubt shall be as lead upon the feet
Of thy most anxious will.
MR LYON was careful to look in at Felix as soon as possible after Christian1’s departure, to tell him that his trust was discharged. During the rest of the day he was somewhat relieved from agitating2 reflections by the necessity of attending to his ministerial duties, the rebuke3 of rebellious4 singers being one of them; and on his return from the Monday evening prayer-meeting he was so overcome with weariness that he went to bed without taking note of any objects in his study. But when he rose the next morning, his mind, once more eagerly active, was arrested by Philip Debarry’s letter, which still lay open on his desk, and was arrested by precisely5 that portion which had been unheeded the day before: ‘I shall consider myself doubly fortunate if at any time you can point out to me some method by which I may procure7 you as lively a satisfaction as I am now feeling, in that full and speedy relief from anxiety which I owe to your considerate conduct.’
To understand how these words could carry the suggestion they actually had for the minister in a crisis of peculiar8 personal anxiety and struggle, we must bear in mind that for many years he had walked through life with the sense of having for a space been unfaithful to what he esteemed9 the highest trust ever committed to man — the ministerial vocation10. In a mind of any nobleness, a lapse11 into transgression12 against an object still regarded as supreme13, issues in a new and purer devotedness14, chastised15 by humility16 and watched over by a passionate17 regret. So it was with that ardent18 spirit which animated19 the little body of Rufus Lyon. Once in his life he had been blinded, deafened20, hurried along by rebellious impulse; he had gone astray after his own desires, and had let the fire die out on the altar; and as the true penitent21, hating his self-besotted error, asks from all coming life duty instead of joy, and service instead of ease, so Rufus was perpetually on the watch lest he should ever again postpone23 to some private affection a great public opportunity which to him was equivalent to a command.
Now here was an opportunity brought by a combination of that unexpected incalculable kind which might be regarded as the divine emphasis invoking24 especial attention to trivial events — an opportunity of securing what Rufus Lyon had often wished for as a means of honouring truth, and exhibiting error in the character of a stammering25, halting, short-breathed usurper26 of office and dignity. What was more exasperating27 to a zealous28 preacher, with whom copious29 speech was not a difficulty but a relief — who never lacked argument, but only combatants and listeners — than to reflect that there were thousands on thousands of pulpits in this kingdom, supplied with handsome sounding-boards, and occupying an advantageous30 position in buildings far larger than the chapel31 in Malthouse Yard — buildings sure to be places of resort, even as the markets were, if only from habit and interest; and that these pulpits were filled, or rather made vacuous32, by men whose privileged education in the ancient centres of instruction issued in twenty minutes’ formal reading of tepid33 exhortation34 or probably infirm deductions35 from premises36 based on rotten scaffolding? And it is in the nature of exasperation37 gradually to concentrate itself. The sincere antipathy38 of a dog towards cats in general, necessarily takes the form of indignant barking at the neighbour’s black cat which makes daily trespass39; the bark at imagined cats, though a frequent exercise of the canine40 mind, is yet comparatively feeble. Mr Lyon’s sarcasm41 was not without an edge when he dilated42 in general on an elaborate education for teachers which issued in the minimum of teaching, but it found a whetstone in the particular example of that bad system known as the rector of Treby Magna. There was nothing positive to be said against the Rev43. Augustus Debarry; his life could not be pronounced blame-worthy except for its negatives. And the good Rufus was too pure-minded not to be glad of that. He had no delight in vice22 as discrediting44 wicked opponents; he shrank from dwelling45 on the images of cruelty or of grossness, and his indignation was habitually46 inspired only by those moral and intellectual mistakes which darken the soul but do not injure or degrade the temple of the body. If the rector had been a less respectable man, Rufus would have more reluctantly made him an object of antagonism48; but as an incarnation of soul-destroying error, dissociated from those baser sins which have no good repute even with the worldly, it would be an argumentative luxury to get into close quarters with him, and fight with a dialectic short-sword in the eyes of the Treby world (sending also a written account thereof to the chief organs of dissenting49 opinion). Vice was essentially50 stupid — a deaf and eyeless monster, insusceptible to demonstration51: the Spirit might work on it by unseen ways, and the unstudied sallies of sermons were often as the arrows which pierced and awakened52 the bmtified conscience; but illuminated53 thought, finely-dividing speech, were the choicer weapons of the divine armoury, which whoso could wield54 must be careful not to leave idle.
Here, then, was the longed-for opportunity. Here was an engagement — an expression of a strong wish — on the part of Philip Debarry, if it were in his power, to procure a satisfaction to Rufus Lyon. How had that man of God and exemplary Independent minister, Mr Ainsworth, of persecuted55 sanctity, conducted himself when a similar occasion had befallen him at Amsterdam? ‘ He had thought of nothing but the glory of the highest cause, and had converted the offer of recompense into a public debate with a Jew on the chief mysteries of the faith. Here was a model: the case was nothing short of a heavenly indication, and he, Rufus Lyon, would seize the occasion to demand a public debate with the rector on the constitution of the true church.
What if he were inwardly torn by doubt and anxiety concerning his own private relations and the facts of his past life? That danger of absorption within the narrow bounds of self only urged him the more towards action which had a wider bearing, and might tell on the welfare of England at large. It was decided56. Before the minister went down to his breakfast that morning he had written the following letter to Mr Philip Debarry:
Sir, — Referring to your letter of yesterday, I find the following words: ‘I shall consider myself doubly fortunate if at any time you can point out to me some method by which I may procure you as lively a satisfaction as I am now feeling, in that full and speedy relief from anxiety which I owe to your considerate con6 duct.’
I am not unaware57, sir, that, in the usage of the world, there are words of courtesy (so called) which are understood, by those amongst whom they are current, to have no precise meaning, and to constitute no bond or obligation. I will not now insist that this is an abuse of language, wherein our fallible nature requires the strictest safeguards against laxity and misapplication, for I do not apprehend58 that in writing the words I have above quoted, you were open to the reproach of using phrases which, while seeming to carry a specific meaning, were really no more than what is called a polite form. I believe, sir, that you used these words advisedly, sincerely, and with an honourable59 intention of acting60 on them as a pledge, should such action be demanded. No other supposition on my part would correspond to the character you bear as a young man who aspires61 (albeit mistakenly) to engraft the finest fruits of public virtue62 on a creed63 and institutions, whereof the sap is composed rather of human self-seeking than of everlasting64 truth.
Wherefore I act on this my belief in the integrity of your written word; and I beg you to procure for me (as it is doubtless in your power) that I may be allowed a public discussion with your near relative, the rector of this parish, the Reverend Augustus Debarry, to be held in the large room of the Free School, or in the Assembly Room of the Marquis of Granby, these being the largest covered spaces at our command. For I presume he would neither allow me to speak within his church, nor would consent himself to speak within my chapel; and the probable inclemency65 of the approaching season forbids an assured expectation that we could discourse66 in the open air. The subjects I desire to discuss are, — first, the constimtion of the true church; and, secondly67, the bearing thereupon of the English Reformation. Confidently expecting that you will comply with this request, which is the sequence of your expressed desire, I remain, sir, yours, with the respect offered to a sincere with-stander,
Malthouse Yard. RUFUS LYON.
After writing this letter, the good Rufus felt that serenity68 and elevation69 of mind which is infallibly brought by a preoccupation with the wider relations of things. Already he was beginning to sketch70 the course his argument might most judiciously71 take in the coming debate; his thoughts were running into sentences, and marking off careful exceptions in parentheses72; and he had come down and seated himself at the breakfast-table quite automatically, without expectation of toast or coffee, when Esther’s voice and touch recalled him to an inward debate of another kind, in which he felt himself much weaker. Again there arose before him the image of that cool, hard-eyed, worldly man, who might be this dear child’s father, and one against whose rights he had himself greviously offended. Always as the image recurred73 to him Mr Lyon’s heart sent forth74 a prayer for guidance, but no definite guidance had yet made itself visible for him. It could not be guidance — it was a temptation — that said, ‘Let the matter rest: seek to know no more; know only what is thrust upon you.’ The remembrance that in his time of wandering he had wilfully75 remained in ignorance of facts which he might have inquired after, deepened the impression that it was now an imperative76 duty to seek the fullest attainable77 knowledge. And the inquiry78 might possibly issue in a blessed repose79, by putting a negative on all his suspicions. But the more vividly80 all the circumstances became present to him, the more unfit he felt himself to set about any investigation81 concerning this man who called himself Maurice Christian. He could seek no confidant or helper among ‘the brethren’; he was obliged to admit to himself that the members of his church, with whom he hoped to go to heaven, were not easy to converse82 with on earth touching83 the deeper secrets of his experience, and were still less able to advise him as to the wisest procedure, in a case of high delicacy84, with a worldling who had a carefully-trimmed whisker and a fashionable costume. For the first time in his life it occurred to the minister that he should be glad of an adviser85 who had more worldly than spiritual experience, and that it might not be inconsistent with his principles to seek some light from one who had studied human law. But it was a thought to be paused upon, and not followed out rashly; some other guidance might intervene.
Esther noticed that her father was in a fit of abstraction, that he seemed to swallow his coffee and toast quite unconsciously, and that he vented86 from time to time a low guttural interjection, which was habitual47 with him when he was absorbed by an inward discussion. She did not disturb him by remarks, and only wondered whether anything unusua, had occurred on Sunday evening. But at last she thought it needful to say, ‘You recollect87 what I told you yesterday, father?’
‘Nay, child; what?’ said Mr Lyon, rousing himself
‘That Mr Jermyn asked me if you would probably be at home this morning before one o’clock.’
Esther was surprised to see her father start and change colour as if he had been shaken by some sudden collision before he answered —
‘Assuredly; I do not intend to move from my study after I have once been out to give this letter to Zachary.’
‘Shall I tell Lyddy to take him up at once to your study if he comes? If not, I shall have to stay in my own room, because I shall be at home all this morning, and it is rather cold now to sit without a fire.’
‘Yes, my dear, let him come up to me; unless, indeed, he should bring a second person, which might happen, seeing that in all likelihood he is coming, as hitherto, on electioneering business. And I could not well accommodate two visitors up-stairs.’
While Mr Lyon went out to Zachary, the pew-opener, to give him a second time the commission of carrying a letter to Treby Manor88, Esther gave her injunction to Lyddy that if one gentleman came he was to be shown up-stairs — if two, they were to be shown into the parlour. But she had to resolve various questions before Lyddy clearly saw what was expected of her, — as that, ‘if it was the gentleman as came on Thursday in the pepper-and-salt coat, was he to be shown up-stairs? And the gentleman from the Manor yesterday as went out whistling — had Miss Esther heard about him? There seemed no end of these great folks coming to Malthouse Yard since there was talk of the election; but they might be poor lost creatures the most of ’em.’ Whereupon Lyddy shook her head and groaned89, under an edifying90 despair as to the future lot of gentlemen callers.
Esther always avoided asking questions of Lyddy, who found an answer as she found a key, by pouring out a pocketful of miscellanies. But she had remarked so many indications that something had happened to cause her father unusual excitement and mental preoccupation, that she could not help connecting with them the fact of this visit from the Manor, which he had not mentioned to her.
She sat down in the dull parlour and took up her netting; for since Sunday she had felt unable to read when she was alone, being obliged, in spite of herself, to think of Felix Holt — to imagine what he would like her to be, and what sort of views he took of life so as to make it seem valuable in the absence of all elegance91, luxury, gaiety, or romance. Had he yet reflected that he had behaved very rudely to her on Sunday? Perhaps not. Perhaps he had dismissed her from his mind with contempt. And at that thought Esther’s eyes smarted unpleasantly. She was fond of netting, because it showed to advantage both her hand and her foot; and across this image of Felix Holt’s indifference92 and contempt there passed the vaguer image of a possible somebody who would admire her hands and feet, and delight in looking at their beauty, and long, yet not dare, to kiss them. Life would be much easier in the presence of such a love. But it was precisely this longing93 after her own satisfaction that Felix had reproached her with. Did he want her to be heroic? That seemed impossible without some great occasion. Her life was a heap of fragments, and so were her thoughts: some great energy was needed to bind94 them together. Esther was beginning to lose her complacency at her own wit and criticism; to lose the sense of superiority in an awakening95 need for reliance on one whose vision was wider, whose nature was purer and stronger than her own. But then, she said to herself, that ‘one’ must be tender to her, not rude and predominating in his manners. A man with any chivalry96 in him could never adopt a scolding tone towards a woman — that is, towards a charming woman. But Felix had no chivalry in him. He loved lecturing and opinion too well ever to love any woman.
In this way Esther strove to see that Felix was thoroughly97 in the wrong — at least, if he did not come again expressly to show that he was sorry.
收听单词发音 |
1
Christian
|
|
| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
agitating
|
|
| 搅动( agitate的现在分词 )； 激怒； 使焦虑不安； （尤指为法律、社会状况的改变而）激烈争论 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
rebuke
|
|
| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
rebellious
|
|
| adj.造反的，反抗的，难控制的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
precisely
|
|
| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
con
|
|
| n.反对的观点，反对者，反对票，肺病；vt.精读，学习，默记；adv.反对地，从反面；adj.欺诈的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
procure
|
|
| vt.获得，取得，促成；vi.拉皮条 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
peculiar
|
|
| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
esteemed
|
|
| adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
vocation
|
|
| n.职业，行业 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
lapse
|
|
| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
transgression
|
|
| n.违背；犯规；罪过 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
supreme
|
|
| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
devotedness
|
|
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
chastised
|
|
| v.严惩（某人）（尤指责打）( chastise的过去式 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
humility
|
|
| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
passionate
|
|
| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
ardent
|
|
| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
animated
|
|
| adj.生气勃勃的，活跃的，愉快的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
deafened
|
|
| 使聋( deafen的过去式和过去分词 )； 使隔音 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
penitent
|
|
| adj.后悔的；n.后悔者；忏悔者 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
vice
|
|
| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
postpone
|
|
| v.延期，推迟 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
invoking
|
|
| v.援引( invoke的现在分词 )；行使（权利等）；祈求救助；恳求 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
stammering
|
|
| v.结巴地说出( stammer的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
usurper
|
|
| n. 篡夺者, 僭取者 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
exasperating
|
|
| adj. 激怒的 动词exasperate的现在分词形式 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
zealous
|
|
| adj.狂热的，热心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
copious
|
|
| adj.丰富的，大量的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
advantageous
|
|
| adj.有利的；有帮助的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
chapel
|
|
| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
vacuous
|
|
| adj.空的，漫散的，无聊的，愚蠢的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
tepid
|
|
| adj.微温的，温热的，不太热心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
exhortation
|
|
| n.劝告，规劝 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
deductions
|
|
| 扣除( deduction的名词复数 )； 结论； 扣除的量； 推演 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
premises
|
|
| n.建筑物，房屋 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
exasperation
|
|
| n.愤慨 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
antipathy
|
|
| n.憎恶；反感，引起反感的人或事物 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
trespass
|
|
| n./v.侵犯，闯入私人领地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
canine
|
|
| adj.犬的，犬科的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
sarcasm
|
|
| n.讥讽，讽刺，嘲弄，反话 （adj.sarcastic） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
dilated
|
|
| adj.加宽的，扩大的v.（使某物）扩大，膨胀，张大( dilate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
rev
|
|
| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
discrediting
|
|
| 使不相信( discredit的现在分词 )； 使怀疑； 败坏…的名声； 拒绝相信 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
dwelling
|
|
| n.住宅，住所，寓所 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
habitually
|
|
| ad.习惯地，通常地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
habitual
|
|
| adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
antagonism
|
|
| n.对抗，敌对，对立 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
dissenting
|
|
| adj.不同意的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
essentially
|
|
| adv.本质上，实质上，基本上 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
demonstration
|
|
| n.表明，示范，论证，示威 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
awakened
|
|
| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
illuminated
|
|
| adj.被照明的；受启迪的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
wield
|
|
| vt.行使，运用，支配；挥，使用(武器等) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
55
persecuted
|
|
| （尤指宗教或政治信仰的）迫害(~sb. for sth.)( persecute的过去式和过去分词 )； 烦扰，困扰或骚扰某人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
decided
|
|
| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
unaware
|
|
| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
apprehend
|
|
| vt.理解，领悟，逮捕，拘捕，忧虑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
honourable
|
|
| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
acting
|
|
| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
aspires
|
|
| v.渴望，追求( aspire的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
virtue
|
|
| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
creed
|
|
| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
everlasting
|
|
| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
inclemency
|
|
| n.险恶，严酷 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
66
discourse
|
|
| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
67
secondly
|
|
| adv.第二，其次 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
68
serenity
|
|
| n.宁静，沉着，晴朗 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
69
elevation
|
|
| n.高度；海拔；高地；上升；提高 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
70
sketch
|
|
| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
71
judiciously
|
|
| adv.明断地，明智而审慎地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
72
parentheses
|
|
| n.圆括号，插入语，插曲（ parenthesis的名词复数 ） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
73
recurred
|
|
| 再发生，复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 )； 治愈 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
74
forth
|
|
| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
75
wilfully
|
|
| adv.任性固执地；蓄意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
76
imperative
|
|
| n.命令，需要；规则；祈使语气；adj.强制的；紧急的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
77
attainable
|
|
| a.可达到的，可获得的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
78
inquiry
|
|
| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
79
repose
|
|
| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
80
vividly
|
|
| adv.清楚地，鲜明地，生动地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
81
investigation
|
|
| n.调查，调查研究 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
82
converse
|
|
| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
83
touching
|
|
| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
84
delicacy
|
|
| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
85
adviser
|
|
| n.劝告者，顾问 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
86
vented
|
|
| 表达，发泄（感情，尤指愤怒）( vent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
87
recollect
|
|
| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
88
manor
|
|
| n.庄园，领地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
89
groaned
|
|
| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
90
edifying
|
|
| adj.有教训意味的，教训性的，有益的v.开导，启发( edify的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
91
elegance
|
|
| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
92
indifference
|
|
| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
93
longing
|
|
| n.（for）渴望 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
94
bind
|
|
| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
95
awakening
|
|
| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
96
chivalry
|
|
| n.骑士气概，侠义；（男人）对女人彬彬有礼，献殷勤 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
97
thoroughly
|
|
| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |