Necessarily when one begins an inquiry1 into the fundamental nature of oneself and one’s mind and its processes, one is forced into autobiography2. I begin by asking how the conscious mind with which I am prone3 to identify myself, began.
It presents itself to me as a history of a perception of the world of facts opening out from an accidental centre at which I happened to begin.
I do not attempt to define this word fact. Fact expresses for me something in its nature primary and unanalyzable. I start from that. I take as a typical statement of fact that I sit here at my desk writing with a fountain pen on a pad of ruled scribbling4 paper, that the sunlight falls upon me and throws the shadow of my window mullion across the page, that Peter, my cat, sleeps on the window-seat close at hand and that this agate5 paper-weight with the silver top that once was Henley’s holds my loose memoranda6 together. Outside is a patch of lawn and then a fringe of winter-bitten iris7 leaves and then the sea, greatly wrinkled and astir under the south-west wind. There is a boat going out which I think may be Jim Pain’s, but of that I cannot be sure . . .
These are statements of a certain quality, a quality that extends through a huge universe in which I find myself placed.
I try to recall how this world of fact arose in my mind. It began with a succession of limited immediate8 scenes and of certain minutely perceived persons; I recall an underground kitchen with a drawered table, a window looking up at a grating, a back yard in which, growing out by a dustbin, was a grape-vine; a red-papered room with a bookcase over my father’s shop, the dusty aisles9 and fixtures10, the regiments11 of wine-glasses and tumblers, the rows of hanging mugs and jugs12, the towering edifices13 of jam-pots, the tea and dinner and toilet sets in that emporium, its brighter side of cricket goods, of pads and balls and stumps14. Out of the window one peeped at the more exterior15 world, the High Street in front, the tailor’s garden, the butcher’s yard, the churchyard and Bromley church tower behind; and one was taken upon expeditions to fields and open places. This limited world was peopled with certain familiar presences, mother and father, two brothers, the evasive but interesting cat, and by intermittent16 people of a livelier but more transient interest, customers and callers.
Such was my opening world of fact, and each day it enlarged and widened and had more things added to it. I had soon won my way to speech and was hearing of facts beyond my visible world of fact. Presently I was at a Dame’s school and learning to read.
From the centre of that little world as primary, as the initiatory17 material, my perception of the world of fact widened and widened, by new sights and sounds, by reading and hearing descriptions and histories, by guesses and inferences; my curiosity and interest, my appetite for fact, grew by what it fed upon, I carried on my expansion of the world of fact until it took me through the mineral and fossil galleries of the Natural History Museum, through the geological drawers of the College of Science, through a year of dissection18 and some weeks at the astronomical19 telescope. So I built up my conceptions of a real world out of facts observed and out of inferences of a nature akin20 to fact, of a world immense and enduring, receding21 interminably into space and time. In that I found myself placed, a creature relatively22 infinitesimal, needing and struggling. It was clear to me, by a hundred considerations, that I in my body upon this planet Earth, was the outcome of countless23 generations of conflict and begetting24, the creature of natural selection, the heir of good and bad engendered25 in that struggle.
So my world of fact shaped itself. I find it altogether impossible to question or doubt that world of fact. Particular facts one may question as facts. For instance, I think I see an unseasonable yellow wallflower from my windows, but you may dispute that and show that it is only a broken end of iris leaf accidentally lit to yellow. That is merely a substitution of fact for fact. One may doubt whether one is perceiving or remembering or telling facts clearly, but the persuasion26 that there are facts, independent of one’s interpretations27 and obdurate28 to one’s will, remains29 invincible30.
1 inquiry | |
n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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2 autobiography | |
n.自传 | |
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3 prone | |
adj.(to)易于…的,很可能…的;俯卧的 | |
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4 scribbling | |
n.乱涂[写]胡[乱]写的文章[作品]v.潦草的书写( scribble的现在分词 );乱画;草草地写;匆匆记下 | |
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5 agate | |
n.玛瑙 | |
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6 memoranda | |
n. 备忘录, 便条 名词memorandum的复数形式 | |
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7 iris | |
n.虹膜,彩虹 | |
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8 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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9 aisles | |
n. (席位间的)通道, 侧廊 | |
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10 fixtures | |
(房屋等的)固定装置( fixture的名词复数 ); 如(浴盆、抽水马桶); 固定在某位置的人或物; (定期定点举行的)体育活动 | |
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11 regiments | |
(军队的)团( regiment的名词复数 ); 大量的人或物 | |
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12 jugs | |
(有柄及小口的)水壶( jug的名词复数 ) | |
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13 edifices | |
n.大建筑物( edifice的名词复数 ) | |
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14 stumps | |
(被砍下的树的)树桩( stump的名词复数 ); 残肢; (板球三柱门的)柱; 残余部分 | |
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15 exterior | |
adj.外部的,外在的;表面的 | |
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16 intermittent | |
adj.间歇的,断断续续的 | |
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17 initiatory | |
adj.开始的;创始的;入会的;入社的 | |
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18 dissection | |
n.分析;解剖 | |
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19 astronomical | |
adj.天文学的,(数字)极大的 | |
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20 akin | |
adj.同族的,类似的 | |
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21 receding | |
v.逐渐远离( recede的现在分词 );向后倾斜;自原处后退或避开别人的注视;尤指问题 | |
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22 relatively | |
adv.比较...地,相对地 | |
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23 countless | |
adj.无数的,多得不计其数的 | |
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24 begetting | |
v.为…之生父( beget的现在分词 );产生,引起 | |
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25 engendered | |
v.产生(某形势或状况),造成,引起( engender的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26 persuasion | |
n.劝说;说服;持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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27 interpretations | |
n.解释( interpretation的名词复数 );表演;演绎;理解 | |
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28 obdurate | |
adj.固执的,顽固的 | |
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29 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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30 invincible | |
adj.不可征服的,难以制服的 | |
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