In the autumn, as the Uji princesses prepared for the anniversary of their father’s death, the winds and waters which they had known over the years seemed colder and lonelier than ever. Kaoru and the abbot saw to the general plans. The princesses themselves, with the advice of their attendants, took care of the details, robes for the priests and decorations for the scriptures1 and the like. They seemed so fragile and sad as they went about the work that one wondered what they would possibly have done without this help from outside. Kaoru made it a point to visit them before the formal end of mourning, and the abbot came down from his monastery2.
The riot of threads for decking out the sacred incense3 led one of the princesses to remark upon the stubborn way their own lives had of spinning on. Catching4 sight of a spool5 through a gap in the curtains, Kaoru recognized the allusion6. “Join my tears as beads,” he said softly. They found it very affecting, this suggestion that the sorrow of Lady Ise had been even as theirs; yet they were reluctant to answer. To show that they had caught the reference might seem pretentious7. But an answering reference immediately came to them: they could not help thinking of Tsurayuki, whose heart had not been “that sort of thread,” and who had likened it to a thread all the same as he sang the sadness of a parting that was not a bereavement8. Old poems, they could see, had much to say about the unchanging human heart.
Kaoru wrote out the petition for memorial services, including the details of the scriptures to be read and the deities9 to be invoked10, and while he had brush in hand he jotted11 down a verse:
“We knot these braids in trefoil. As braided threads
May our fates be joined, may we be together always.”
Though she thought it out of place, Oigimi managed an answer:
“No way to thread my tears, so fast they flow;
As swiftly flows my life. Can such vows12 be?”
“But,” he objected, “‘if it cannot be so with us, what use is life?’”
She had somehow succeeded in diverting the conversation from the most important point, and she seemed reluctant to say more. And so he began to speak most warmly of his friend Niou: “I have been watching him very closely. He has had me worried, I must admit. He has a very strong competitive instinct, even when he does not have much at stake, and I was afraid your chilliness14 might have made it all a matter of pride for him. And so, I admit it, I’ve been uneasy. But I am sure that this time there is nothing to worry about. It is your turn to do something. Might you just possibly persuade yourself to be a little more friendly? You are not an insensitive lady, I know, and yet you do go on slamming the door. If he resents it, well, so do I. You couldn’t be making things more difficult for me if you tried, and I have been very open with you and very willing to take you at your word. I think the time has come for a clear statement from you, one way or the other.”
“How can you say such things? It was exactly because I did not want to make things difficult for you that I let you come so near — so near that people must think it very odd. I gather that your view of the matter is different, and I must confess that I am disappointed. I would have expected you to understand a little better. But of course I am at fault too. You have said that I am not an insensitive person, but someone of real sensitivity would by now have thought everything out, even in a mountain hut like this. I have always been slow in these matters. I gather that you are making a proposal. Very well: I shall make my answer as clear as I can. Before Father died, he had many things to say about my future, but not one of them touched even slightly on the sort of thing you suggest. He must have meant that I should be resigned to living out my days alone and away from the world; and so I fear I cannot give you the answer you want, at least so far as it concerns myself. But of course my sister will outlive me, and I have to think of her too. I could not bear to leave her in these mountains like a fallen tree. It would give me great pleasure if something could be arranged for her.”
She fell silent, in great agitation16. He regretted having spoken so sternly. For all her air of maturity19, he should not have expected her to answer like a woman of the world.
He summoned Bennokimi.
“It was thoughts of the next life that first brought me here; and then, in those last sad days, he left a request with me. He asked me to look after his daughters in whatever way seemed best. I have tried; and now it comes as something of a surprise that they should be disregarding their own father’s wishes. Do you understand it any better than I do? I am being pushed to the conclusion that he had hopes for them which they do not share. I know you will have heard about me, what an odd person I am, not much interested in the sort of things that seem to interest everyone else. And now, finally, I have found someone who does interest me, and I am inclined to believe that fate has had a hand in the matter; and I gather that the gossips already have us married. Well, if that is the case — I know it will seem out of place for me to say so — other things being equal, we might as well do as the prince wished us to, and indeed as everyone else does. It would not be the first case the world has seen of a princess married to a commoner.
“And I have spoken more than once about my friend Niou to your other lady. She simply refuses to believe me when I tell her she needn’t worry about the sort of husband he is likely to make. I wonder if someone might just possibly be working to turn her against her father’s wishes. You must tell me everything you know. ”
His remarks were punctuated20 by many a brooding sigh.
There is a kind of cheeky domestic who, in such situations, assumes a knowing manner and encourages a man in what he wants to believe. Bennokimi was not such a one. She thought the match ideal, but she could not say so.
“My ladies are different from others I have served. Perhaps they were born different. They have never been much interested in the usual sort of thing. We who have been in their service — even while their father was alive, we really had no tree to run to for shelter. Most of the other women decided21 fairly soon that there was no point in wasting their lives in the mountains, and they went away, wherever their family ties led them. Even people whose families had been close to the prince’s for years and years — they were not having an easy time of it, and most of them gave up and went away. And now that he is gone it is even worse. We wonder from one minute to the next who will be left. The ones who have stayed are always grumbling22, and I am sure that my ladies are often hurt by the things they say. Back in the days when the prince was still with us, they say, well, he had his old-fashioned notions, and they had to be respected for what they were. My ladies were, after all, royal princesses, he was always saying, and there came a point at which a suitor had to be considered beneath them, and that was that; and so they stayed single. But now they are worse than single, they are completely alone in the world, and it would take a very cruel person to find fault if they were to do what everyone else does. And really, could anyone expect them to go through their lives as they are now? Even the monks23 who wander around gnawing24 pine needles — even they have their different ways of doing things, without forgetting the Good Law. They cannot deny life itself, after all. I am just telling you what these women say. The older of my ladies refuses to listen to a word of it, at least as it has to do with her; but I gather she does hope that something can be found for her sister, some way to live an ordinary, respectable life. She has watched you climb over these mountains year after year and she knows that not many people would have assumed responsibility as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I really do think that she is ready to talk of the details, and all that matters is what you have in mind yourself. As for Prince Niou, she does not seem to think his letters serious enough to bother answering.”
“I have told you of her father’s last request. I was much moved by it, and I have vowed25 to go on seeing them. You might think that, from my point of view, either of your ladies would do as well as the other, and I really am very flattered that she should have such confidence in me. But you know, even a man who doesn’t have much use for the things that excite most people will find himself drawn26 to a lady, and when that happens he does not suddenly go running after another — though that would not be too difficult, I suppose, for the victim of a casual infatuation.
“But no. If only she would stop retreating and putting up walls between us. If only I could have her here in front of me, to talk to about the little things that come and go. If so much did not have to be kept back.
“I am all by myself, and I always have been. I have no brother near enough my own age to talk to about the amusing things and the sad things that happen. You will say that I have a sister, but the things I really want to talk about are always an impossible jumble27, and an empress is hardly the person to go to with them. You will think of my mother. It is true that she looks young enough to be my sister, but after all she is my mother. All the others seem so haughty28 and so far away. They quite intimidate29 me. And so I am by myself. The smallest little flirtation30 leaves me dumb and paralyzed; and when it seems that the time has come to show my feelings to someone I really care for, I am not up to the smallest gesture. I may be hurt, I may be furious, and there I stand like a post, knowing perfectly31 well how ridiculous I am.
“But let us talk of Niou. Don’t you suppose that problem could be left to me? I promise that I will do no one any harm.”
It would be far better than this lonely life, thought the old woman, wishing she could tell him to go ahead. But they were both so touchy32. She thought it best to keep her own counsel.
Kaoru whiled away the time, thinking that he would like to stay the night and perhaps have the quiet talk of which he had spoken. For Oigimi the situation was next to intolerable. Though he had made it known only by indirection, his resentment33 seemed to be rising to an alarming pitch. The most trivial answer was almost more than she could muster34. If only he would stay away from that one subject! In everything else he was a man of the most remarkable35 sympathy, a fact that only added to her agitation. She had someone open the doors to the chapel36 and stir the lamps, and withdrew behind a blind and a screen. There were also lights outside the chapel. He had them taken away — they were very unsettling, he said, for they revealed him in shameful37 disorder38 — and lay down near the screen. She had fruit and sweets brought to him, arranged in a tasteful yet casual manner. His men were offered wine and very tempting39 side dishes. They withdrew to a corridor, leaving the two alone for what they assumed would be a quiet, intimate conversation.
She was in great agitation, but in her manner there was something poignantly40 appealing that delighted and — a pity that it should have been so — excited him. To be so near, separated from her only by a screen, and to let the time go by with no perceptible sign that the goal was near — it was altogether too stupid. Yet he managed an appearance of calm as he talked on of this amusing event and that melancholy41 one. There was much to interest her in what he said, but from behind her blinds she called to her women to come nearer. No doubt thinking that chaperones would be out of place, they pretended not to hear, and indeed withdrew yet further as they lay down to rest. There was no one to replenish42 the lamps before the holy images. Again she called out softly, and no one answered.
“I am not feeling at all well,” she said finally, starting for an anteroom. “I think a little sleep might do me good. I hope you sleep well.”
“Don’t you suppose a man who has fought his way over mountains might feel even worse? But that’s all right. Just having you here is enough. Don’t go off and leave me.”
He quietly pushed the screen aside. She was in precipitous flight through the door beyond.
“So this is what you mean by a friendly talk,” she said angrily as he caught at her sleeve. Far from turning him away, her anger added to the fascination43. “It is not at all what I would have expected.”
“You seem determined44 not to understand what I mean by friendliness45, and so I thought I would show you. Not what you would have expected — and what, may I ask, did you expect? Stop trembling. You have nothing to be afraid of. I am prepared to take my vow13 before the Blessed One here. I have done everything to avoid upsetting you. No one in the world can have dreamed what an eccentric affair this is. But I am an eccentric and a fool myself, and will no doubt continue to be so.”
He stroked the hair that flowed in the wavering light. The softness and the luster46 were all that he could have asked for. Suppose someone with more active inclinations47 were to come upon this lonely, unprotected house — there would be nothing to keep him from having his way. Had the visitor been anyone but himself, matters would by now have come to a showdown. His own want of decision suddenly revolted him. Yet here she was, weeping and wringing48 her hands, quite beside herself. He would have to wait until consent came of its own accord. Distressed49 at her distress50, he sought to comfort her as best he could.
“I have allowed an almost indecent familiarity, and I have had no idea of what was going through your mind; and I may say that you have not shown a great deal of consideration, forcing me to display myself in these unbecoming colors. But I am at fault too. I am not up to what has to be done, and I am sorry for us both.” It was too humiliating, that the lamp-light should have caught her in somber51, shabby gray.
“Yes, I have been inconsiderate, and I am ashamed and sorry. They give you a good excuse, those robes of mourning. But don’t you think you might just possibly be making too much of them? You have seen something of me over the years, and I doubt if mourning gives you a right to act as if we had just been introduced. It is clever of you but not altogether convincing.”
He told her of the many things he had found it so hard to keep to himself, beginning with that glimpse of the two princesses in the autumn dawn. She was in an agony of embarrassment52. So he had had this store of secrets all along, and had managed to feign53 openness and indifference54!
He now pulled a low curtain between them and the altar and lay down beside her. The smell of the holy incense, the particularly strong scent55 of anise, stabbed at his conscience, for he was more susceptible56 in matters of belief than most people. He told himself that it would be ill considered in the extreme, now of all times, when she was in mourning, to succumb57 to temptation; and he would be going against his own wishes if he failed to control himself. He must wait until she had come out of mourning. Then, difficult though she was, there would surely be some slight easing of the tensions.
Autumn nights are sad in the most ordinary of places. How much sadder in wailing58 mountain tempests, with the calls of insects sounding through the hedges. As he talked on of life’s uncertain turns, she occasionally essayed an answer. He was touched and pleased. Her women, who had spread their bedclothes not far away, sensed that a happy arrangement had been struck up and withdrew to inner apartments. She thought of her father’s admonitions. Strange and awful things can happen, she saw, to a lady who lives too long. It was as if she were adding her tears to the rushing torrent59 outside.
The dawn came on, bringing an end to nothing. His men were coughing and clearing their throats, there was a neighing of horses — everything made him think of descriptions he had read of nights on the road. He slid back the door to the east, where dawn was in the sky, and the two of them looked out at the shifting colors. She had come out towards the veranda60. The dew on the ferns at the shallow eaves was beginning to catch the light. They would have made a very striking pair, had anyone been there to see them.
“Do you know what I would like? To be as we are now. To look out at the flowers and the moon, and be with you. To spend our days together, talking of things that do not matter.”
His manner was so unassertive that her fears had finally left her. “And do you know what I would like? A little privacy. Here I am quite exposed, and a screen might bring us closer.”
The sky was red, there was a whirring of wings close by as flocks of birds left their roosts. As if from deep in the night, the matin bells came to them faintly.
“Please go,” she said with great earnestness. “It is almost daylight, and I do not want you to see me.”
“You can’t be telling me to push my way back through the morning mists? What would that suggest to people? No, make it look, if you will, as if we were among the proper married couples of the world, and we can go on being the curiosities we in fact seem to be. I promise you that I will do nothing to upset you; but perhaps I might trouble you to imagine, just a little, how genuine my feelings are.”
“If what you say is true,” she replied, her agitation growing as it became evident that he was in no hurry to leave, “then I am sure you will have your way in the future. But please, this morning, let me have my way.” She had to admit that there was little she could do.
“So you really are going to send me off into the dawn? Knowing that it is ‘new to me,’ and that I am sure to lose my way?”
The crowing of a cock was like a summons back to the city.
“The things by which one knows the mountain village
Are brought together in these voices of dawn.”
She replied:
“Deserted62 mountain depths where no birds sing,
I would have thought. But sorrow has come to visit.”
Seeing her as far as the door to the inner apartments, he returned by the way he had come the evening before, and lay down; but he was not able to sleep. The memories and regrets were too strong. Had his emotions earlier been toward her as they were now, he would not have been as passive over the months. The prospect63 of going back to the city was too dreary64 to face.
Oigimi, in agony at the thought of what her women would have made of it all, found sleep as elusive65. A very harsh trial it was, going through life with no one to turn to; and as if that huge uncertainty66 were not enough, there were these women with all their impossible suggestions. They as good as formed a queue, coming to her with proposals that had nothing to recommend them but the expediency67 of the moment; and if in a fit of inattention she were to accede68 to one of them, she would have shame and humiliation69 to look forward to. Kaoru did not at all displease70 her. The Eighth Prince had said more than once that if Kaoru should be inclined to ask her hand, he would not disapprove71. But no. She wanted to go on as she was. It was her sister, now in the full bloom of youth, who must live a normal life. If the prince’s thoughts in the matter could be applied72 to her sister, she herself would do everything she could by way of support. But who was to be her own support? She had only Kaoru, and, strangely, things might have been easier had she found herself in superficial dalliance with an ordinary man. They had known each other for rather a long time, and she might have been tempted73 to let him have his way. His obvious superiority and his aloofness74, coupled with a very low view of herself, had left her prey75 to shyness. In timid retreat, it seemed, she would end her days.
She was near prostration76, having spent most of the night weeping. She lay down in the far recesses77 of the room where her sister was sleeping. Nakanokimi was delighted, for she had been disturbed by that odd whispering among the women. She pulled back the coverlet and spread it over Oigimi. She caught the scent of her sister’s robes. It was unmistakable, exactly the scent by which poor Wigbeard had been so sorely discommoded. Guessing what Oigimi would be going through, Nakanokimi pretended to be asleep.
Kaoru summoned Bennokimi and had a long talk with her. He permitted no suggestion of the romantic in the note he left for Oigimi.
She would happily have disappeared. There had been that silly little exchange about the trefoil knots. Would her sister think that she had meant by it to beckon78 him to within “two arms’ lengths”? Pleading illness, she spent the day alone
“But the services are almost on us,” said the women, “and there is no one but you to tend to all these details. Why did you have to pick this particular moment to come down with something?”
Nakanokimi went on preparing the braids; but when it came to the rosettes of gold and silver thread, she had to admit incompetence79. She did not even know where to begin. Then night came, and, under cover of darkness, Oigimi emerged, and the two sisters worked together on the intricacies of the rosettes.
A note came from Kaoru, but she sent back that she had been indisposed since morning. A most unseemly and childish way to behave, muttered her women.
And so they emerged from mourning. They had not wanted to think that they would outlive their father, and, so quickly, a whole year of months and days had passed. How strange, they sighed — and their women had to sigh too — how bleak80 and grim, that they should have lived on. But the robes of deepest mourning to which they had grown accustomed over the months were changed for lighter81 colors, and a freshness as of new life came over the house. Nakanokimi, at the best time of life, was the more immediately appealing of the two. Personally seeing to it that her hair was washed and brushed, Oigimi thought her so delightful82 that all the cares of these last months seemed to vanish. If only her hopes might be realized, if only Kaoru could be persuaded to look after the girl. Despite his evident reluctance83, he was not, if pointed15 in the girl’s direction, likely to find her a disappointment. There being no one else whom she could even consider, and therefore nothing more for her to do, she busied herself with ministering to her sister’s needs, quite as if they were mother and daughter.
Kaoru paid a sudden visit. The Ninth Month, when the mourning robes toward which he had been so deferential84 would surely have been put away, still seemed an unacceptable distance in the future. He sent in word that he hoped as before to be favored with an interview. Oigimi sent back that she had not been well, and must ask to be excused.
He sent in again: “I had not been prepared for this obstinacy85. And what sort of interpretation86 do you think your women are likely to put upon it?”
“You will understand, I am sure, that when a person comes out of mourning the grief floods back with more force than ever. I really must ask you to excuse me.”
He called Bennokimi and went over the list of his complaints. Since he had all along seemed to the women their one hope in this impossible darkness, they had been telling one another how very nice it would be if he were to answer their prayers and set their lady up in a more becoming establishment. They had plotted ways of admitting him to her boudoir. Though not aware of the details, Oigimi had certain suspicions: given Kaoru’s remarkable fondness for Bennokimi, and indeed their apparent fondness for each other, the old woman might have acquired sinister87 ideas, and because in old romances wellborn ladies never threw themselves at men without benefit of intermediary, her women presented the weakest point in her defenses.
Kaoru was apparently88 embittered89 by her own reception of his overtures90, and so perhaps the time had come to put her sister decisively forward as a substitute. He did not seem to be one who, properly introduced and encouraged, would incline toward unkindness even when he found himself in the presence of an ill-favored woman; and once he had had a glimpse of the beauty her sister was, he was sure to fall helplessly in love. No man, of course, would want to spring forward at the first gesture, quite as if he had been waiting for an invitation. This apparent reluctance was no doubt partly from a fear of being thought flighty and too susceptible.
Thus she turned the possibilities over in her mind. But would it not be a serious disservice to give Nakanokimi no hint of what she was thinking? In her sister’s place, she could see she would be very much hurt indeed. So, in great detail, she offered her view of the matter.
“You will remember of course what Father said. We might be lonely for the rest of our lives, but we were not to demean ourselves and make ourselves ridiculous. We have a great deal to atone91 for, I think. It was we who kept him from making his peace at the end, and I have no reservations about a single word of his advice. And so loneliness does not worry me at all. But there are these noisy women, not giving me a minute’s relief. They chatter92 on and on about my obstinacy. I must admit that they have a point. I must admit that it would be a tragedy for you to spend the rest of your days alone. If I could only do something for you, my dear — if I only could make a decent match for you — then I could tell myself I had done my duty, and it would not bother me in the least to be alone.”
Nakanokimi replied with some bitterness. Whatever could her sister have in mind? “Do you really think Father was talking about you? No, I was the one he was worried about. I am the useless one, and he knew what a shambles93 I would make of things. You are missing the point completely: the point is that we will not be lonely as long as we have each other.”
It was true, thought Oigimi, a wave of affection sweeping94 over her. “I’m sorry. I was upset and didn’t think. These people say I am so difficult. That is the whole trouble.” And she fell silent.
It was growing dark and Kaoru still had not left. Oigimi was more and more apprehensive95. Bennokimi came in and talked on at great length of his perfectly understandable resentment. Oigimi did not answer. She could only sigh helplessly, and ask herself what possible recourse she had. If only she had someone to look to for advice! A father or a mother could have made a match for her, and she would have accepted it as the way of the world. She might have been unable herself to say yes or no, but that was the nature of things. She would have concealed96 the unfortunate facts from a world so ready to laugh. But these women — they were old and thought themselves wise. Much pleased with each new discovery, they came to her one after another to tell her how fine a match it promised to be. Was she to take these opinions seriously? No, she was attended by crones, women with obsessions97 that made no allowance for her own feelings.
As good as clutching her by the hand and dragging her off, they would argue their various cases; and the result was that Oigimi withdrew into increasingly gloomy disaffection. Nakanokimi, with whom she was able to converse98 so freely on almost every subject, knew even less about this one than she, and, quietly uncomprehending, had no answer. A strange, sad fate ruled over her, Oigimi would conclude, turning away from the company.
Might she not change into robes a little more lively? pleaded her women. She was outraged99 — it was as if they were intent on pushing her into the man’s arms. And indeed what was to keep them from having their way? This tiny house, with everyone jammed in against everyone else, offered no better a hiding place than was granted the proverbial mountain pear. It had always been Kaoru’s apparent intention to make no explicit100 overtures, inviting101 the mediation102 of this or that woman, but to proceed so quietly that people would scarcely know when he had begun. He had thought, and indeed said, that if she was unwilling103 he was prepared to wait indefinitely. But the old women were whispering noisily into one another’s deaf ears. Perhaps they had been somewhat stupid from the outset, perhaps age had dulled their wits. Oigimi found it all very trying in either case.
She sought to communicate something of her distress to Bennokimi. “He is different from other people, I suppose. Father always said so, and that is why we have become so dependent on him since Father died, and allowed him a familiarity that must seem almost improper104. And now comes a turn I had not been prepared for. He seems very angry with me, and I cannot for the life of me see why. He must know that if I were in the least interested in the usual things I would most certainly not have tried
t him off. I have always been suspicious of them, and it is a disappointment that he should not seem to understand.” She spoke17 with great hesitation105.
“But there is my sister. It would be very sad if she were to waste the best part of her life. If I sometimes wish this house weren’t quite so shabby and cramped106, it is only because of her. He says he means to honor Father’s wishes. Well, then, he should make no distinction between us. As far as I am concerned we share a single heart, whatever the outward appearances. I will do everything I possibly can. Do you suppose I might ask you to pass this on to him?”
“I have known your feelings all along,” said Bennokimi, deeply moved, “and I have explained everything to him very carefully. But he says that a man does not shift his affections at will, and he has his friend Niou to think of; and he has offered to do what he can to arrange matters for my younger lady. I must say I think he is behaving very well. Even when they have parents working for them, two sisters cannot reasonably expect to make good matches at the same time; and here you have your chance. I may seem forward when I say so, but you are alone in the world, and I worry a great deal about you. It is true that no one can predict what may happen years from now; but at the moment I think both of you have very lucky stars to thank. I certainly would not want to be understood as arguing that you should go against your father’s last wishes. Surely he meant no more than that you should not make marriages unworthy of you. He so often said that if the young gentleman should prove willing and he himself might see one of you happily married, then he could die in peace. I have seen so many girl s, high and low, who have lost their parents and gone completely to ruin, married to the most impossible men. I wonder if there has been a time in my whole long life when it hasn’t been happening somewhere, and no one has ever found it in his heart to poke18 fun at them. And here you are — a man made to order, a man of the most extraordinary kindness and feeling, comes with a proposal anyone would jump at. If you send him off in the name of this Buddha108 of yours — well, I doubt that you will be rewarded with assumption into the heavens. You will still have the world to live with.”
She seemed prepared to talk on indefinitely. Angry and resentful, Oigimi lay with her face pressed against a pillow. Nakanokimi led her off to bed, with lengthy109 commiserations. Bennokimi’s remarks had left her feeling threatened, but it was not a house in which she could make a great show of going into retreat. It was, indeed, a house that offered no refuge. Spreading a clean, soft quilt over Nakanokimi, she lay down some slight distance away, the weather still being warm.
Bennokimi told Kaoru of the conversation. What, he asked himself, could have turned a young girl so resolutely110 away from the world? Was it that she had learned too well from her saintly father the lesson of the futility111 of things? But they were kindred spirits, he and she, and he could most certainly not accuse her of impertinent trifling112.
“And so I suppose from now on I will have trouble even getting permission to speak to her? Take me into her room, just this one evening.”
Having made up her mind to help him, Bennokimi sent most of the other women off to bed. A few of them had been made partners in the conspiracy113. As the night drew on, a high wind set the badly fitted shutters114 to rattling115. It was fortunate — not as much stealth was needed as on a quieter night. She led him to the princesses’ room. The two were sleeping together; but they always slept together, and she could hardly have separated them for this one night. Kaoru knew them well enough, she was sure, to tell one from the other.
But Oigimi, still awake, sensed his approach, and slipped out through the bed curtains. Poor Nakanokimi lay quietly sleeping. What was to be done? Oigimi was in consternation116. If only the two of them could hide together — but she was quaking with fear, and could not bring herself to go back. Then, in the dim light, a figure in a singlet pulled the curtains aside and came into the room quite as if he owned it. Whatever would her hapless sister think if she were to awaken117? thought Oigimi, huddled118 in the cramped space between a screen and a shabby wall. Nakanokimi had rebelled at the very hint that there might be plans for her — and how shocked and resentful she would be if it were to appear now that they had all plotted against her. Oigimi was quite beside herself. It had all happened because they had no one to protect them from a harsh world. Her sorrow and her longing119 for her father were so intense that it was as if he were here beside her now, exactly as he had made his last farewell in the evening twilight120.
Thinking that the old woman had arranged it so, Kaoru was delighted to find a lady sleeping alone. Then he saw that it was not Oigimi. It was a fresher, more winsome121, superficially more appealing young lady. Nakanokimi was awake now, and in utter terror. She had been no part of a plot against him, poor girl, it was clear; but pity for her was mixed with anger and resentment at the one who had fled. Nakanokimi was no stranger, of course, but he did not take much comfort from that fact. Mixed with the chagrin122 was a fear lest Oigimi think he had been less than serious. Well, he would let the night pass, and if it should prove his fate to marry Nakanokimi — she was not, as he had noted123, a stranger. Thus composing himself, he lay down beside her, and passed the night much as he had the earlier one with her sister.
Their plans had worked beautifully, said the old woman. But where might Nakanokimi be? It would be odd of her, to say the least, to spend the night with the other two.
“Well, wherever she is, I’m sure she knows what she’s doing.”
“Such a fine young gentleman, making our wrinkles go away just by glancing in our direction. He’s exactly what every woman has always asked for. Why does she have to be so standoffish?”
“Oh, no reason, really. Something’s been at her, as they say. She’s hexed.”
Some of the remarks that came from the toothless mouths were not entirely124 charitable.
They did not pass unchallenged. “Hexed! Now that’s a nice thing to say, as good as asking for bad luck. No, I can tell you what it is. She had a strange bringing up, that’s all, way off here in the hills with no one to tell her about things. Men scare her. You’ll see — she’ll be friendly enough when she gets used to him. It’s bound to happen.”
“Let’s hope it happens soon, and something good happens to us for a change.”
So they talked on as they got ready for bed, and soon there were loud snores.
Though “the company” may not have had a great deal to do with the matter, it seemed to Kaoru that the autumn night had been quick to end.
He was beginning to wonder which of the princesses appealed to him more. If, at his departure, his desires were left unsatisfied, he had no one to blame but himself.
“Remember me,” he said as he left Nakanokimi, “and do not deceive yourself that she is someone to imitate.” And he vowed that they would meet again.
It had been like a strange dream. Mustering125 all his self-control, for he wanted to have another try at the icy one, he went back to the room assigned him the night before and lay down.
Bennokimi hurried to the princesses’ room. “Very, very strange,” she said, thinking Oigimi the one she saw there. “Where will my other lady be?”
Nakanokimi lay consumed with embarrassment. What could it all mean? She was angry, too, reading deep significance into her sister’s remarks of the day before.
As the morning grew brighter, the cricket came from the wall.
Oigimi knew what her sister would be thinking, and the pity and the sorrow were too much for her. Neither sister was able to speak. So the last veil had been stripped away, thought Oigimi. One thing was clear: theirs was a world in which not a single unguarded moment was possible.
Bennokimi went to Kaoru’s room and at length learned of the uncommon126 obstinacy of which he had been the victim. She was very sorry for him, and she thought he had a right to be angry.
“I have put up with it all because I have thought there might be hope. But after last night, I really feel as if I should jump in the river. The one thing that holds me back is the memory of their father and how he hated to leave them behind. Well, that is that. I shall not bother them again — not, of course, that I am likely to forget the insult. I gather that Niou is forging ahead without a glance to the left or the right. I can understand how a young lady in her place might feel. A man is a man, and she might as well aim for the highest. I think I shall not show myself again for all of you to laugh at. My only request is that you talk about this idiocy127 as little as possible.”
Today there were no regretful looks backward. How sad, whispered the women, for both of them.
Oigimi too was asking herself what had happened. Supposing his anger now included her sister — what were they to do? And how awful to have all these women with their wise airs, not one of them in fact understanding the slightest part of her confusion. The thoughts were still whirling through her head when a letter came from Kaoru. Surprisingly, she was pleased, more pleased, indeed, than usual. As if he did not know the season, he had attached a leafy branch only one sprig of which had turned crimson128. Folded in an envelope, the note was quiet and laconic129, and showed little trace of resentment.
“My mountain ladies have dyed it colors twain.
And which of the twain, please tell me, is the deeper?”
He apparently meant to pretend that nothing of moment had occurred. Uncertainty clutched at her once more; and here were these noisy women trying to goad130 her into a reply. She would have left it to her sister but for a fear that the poor girl was already at the limits of endurance. Finally, after many false starts, she sent back a verse:
“Whatever the’ladies’ meant, the answer is clear:
The newer of these hues131 is far the deeper.”
It had been jotted down with an appearance of unconcern, and it pleased him. He decided that his resentment was after all finite.
Two ladies with but a single heart, Bennokimi had told him — there had been more than one hint that Oigimi meant him to have her sister in her place. His refusal to take the hint, it now came to him, accounted for last night’s behavior. He had been unkind. A wave of pity came over him. If he had caused her to think him unfeeling, then his hopes would come to nothing. And no doubt Bennokimi, who had been so good about passing his messages on, was beginning to think him untrustworthy. Well, he had let himself be trapped, the mistake had been his own. If people chose to laugh at him as the sort that is constantly forsaking132 the world, he could only let them laugh. It was worse than they knew. He was a laughable little boat indeed, paddling out only to come back time and time again!
So he fretted133 the night away. There was a bright moon in the dawn sky as he went to call on Niou. Upon the burning of his mother’s house in Sanjō, he had moved with her to Rokujō. Niou having rooms near at hand, he was a frequent caller, much, it would seem, to Niou’s satisfaction. It was the perfect place to make one forget the troubles of the world. Even the flowers below the verandas134 were somehow different. The swaying grasses and trees were as elsewhere — and yet they too were different. The clear moon reflected from the brook135 was as in a picture. Kaoru had expected to find his friend enjoying the moonlight, and he was not disappointed. Startled at the fragrance136 that came in on the breeze, Niou slipped into casual court dress and otherwise put himself in order. Kaoru had stopped midway up the stairs. Not asking him to come further, Niou stepped out and leaned against the railing, and in these attitudes they talked idly of this and that. The Uji affair always on his mind, he reproved his friend for various inadequacies as a messenger. This was not at all fair, thought Kaoru. He was incapable137 of seizing the first thing he wanted for himself, and he could hardly be expected to worry about others. But then it occurred to him that his own cause might be advanced if matters were arranged satisfactorily for Niou, and he talked with unusual candor138 of what he thought might be done.
A mist came in as the dawn brightened. The air was chilly139, and with the moon now hidden the shade of the trees was dark. It was a pleasant scene despite the gloom.
“The time is coming,” said the prince, “when you will not get off so easily for leaving me behind.” No doubt the gloom brought sad Uji very near. Since Kaoru gave no evidence of eagerness, Niou offered a poem:
“All the wide field abloom with maiden140 flowers!
Why must you string a rope to keep us out?”
In a similarly bantering141 tone, Kaoru replied:
“The maiden flowers on the misty142 morning field
Are set aside for those who bestir themselves.
And,” he said, smiling, “there are not many such enterprising people.”
Though long importuned144 by his friend, Kaoru had wondered whether Nakanokimi could meet this most rigorous of tests. Now he knew that she was at least the equal of her sister. He had feared, too, that her disposition145 might upon close inspection146 prove to have its defects, and he was sure now that there was nothing for which he need apologize. Though it might seem cruel to go against Oigimi’s wishes, his own affections did not seem prepared to jump lightly to her sister. He must see that Nakanokimi went to his friend. So he would overcome the resentment of both of them, prince and princess.
Unaware147 of these thoughts, Niou was calling him shameless. It was very amusing.
“We must remember,” said Kaoru, his manner somewhat patronizing, “that you have given us little cause to admire you for your fidelity148.”
“Just you wait and see,” answered Niou most earnestly. “I have never liked anyone else half as well, I swear it.”
“And I see few signs that they are about to capitulate. You have given me a formidable assignment.”
Yet he proceeded to describe in great detail his thoughts about an expedition to Uji.
The twenty-eighth, when the equinox festival ended, was a lucky day. With great stealth, including every possible precaution against attracting notice, Kaoru led his friend forth149 towards Uji. They would be in trouble were Niou’s mother, the empress, to learn of the excursion. She would be certain to forbid it. But Niou was determined. Though Kaoru agreed with him in wanting to make it appear that they were off for nowhere at all, the pretense150 was not a simple one. They would surely be noticed if they tried to cross the Uji River. Forgoing151 the splendor152 of Yūgiri’s villa61 on the south bank, therefore, Kaoru left Niou at a manor153 house he happened to own near the Eighth Prince’s villa and went on alone. No one was likely to challenge them now, but it seemed that Kaoru did not want even Wigbeard, who might be patrolling the grounds, to know of Niou’s prese, His Lordship is here, His Lordship is here! “ As usual the women bustled154 around getting ready to receive him. The princesses were mildly annoyed. But surely, thought Oigimi, she had hinted broadly enough that his affections should rest upon someone other than herself. Nakanokimi, for her part, knew that she was not the one he was attracted to, and that she had nothing to fear from the visit. But since that painful evening she had not felt as close to her sister. A stiff reserve had grown up between them, indeed, and Nakanokimi refused to communicate except through intermediaries. How would it all end? sighed the women who carried her messages.
Niou was led in under cover of darkness.
Kaoru summoned Bennokimi. “Let me have a single word with the older of your ladies. I know when I have been refused, but I can’t very well just run away. And then perhaps, a little later, I may ask you to let me in as you did the other night?”
His manner offered no cause for suspicion. It made little difference, thought the old woman, which of the two girls she took him to. She told Oigimi of the request. Oigimi was pleased and relieved — so his attention had turned to her sister, just as she had hoped. She closed and barred the door to the veranda, leaving open the door through which he would pass on his way to her sister’s; and she was ready to receive him.
“A word is all I need,” he said somewhat testily155, “and it is ridiculous that I must shout it to the whole world. Open the door just a little. Can’t you guess how uncomfortable I am out here?”
“I can hear you perfectly well,” she said, leaving the door closed.
Perhaps his affection for her had died and he felt it his duty to say goodbye? They were not, after all, strangers. She must not offend him, she concluded, having come forward a little, but she must watch the time. He clutched at her sleeve through a crack in the door and began railing at her as he pulled her towards him. She was outraged. What was the man not capable of? But she must humor him and hurry him off to her sister. Her innate156 gentleness came over to him. Quietly and without seeming to insist, she asked that he be to her sister as he had thought of being to herself.
Niou meanwhile was following instructions. He made his way to the door by which Kaoru had entered that other night. He signaled with his fan and Bennokimi came to let him in. How amusing, he thought, that his turn should have come to travel this well-traveled route. In complete ignorance of what was happening, Oigimi still sought to hurry Kaoru on his way. Though he could not keep back a certain exhilaration at being party to such an escapade, he was also moved to pity. He would have no excuse to offer when she learned how effectively she had been duped; and so he said:
“Niou kept pestering157 me to bring him along, and I couldn’t go on saying no. He is here with me. I suspect that by now he will have made his way in. You must forgive him for not having introduced himself. And I rather imagine that talkative old woman of yours will have been asked to show him the way. So here I am left dangling158. You can all have a good laugh over me.”
This was a bit more than she had been prepared for. Indeed, she was aghast, and wondered whether her senses might have deserted her. “Well! I have been nai%ve. Your powers of invention are so far beyond me that I doubt if I could find words to describe them. I have let you see quite through me, and you have learned how stupid and careless I am. This knowledge of your superiority must give you much satisfaction.”
“I have nothing to say. I could apologize all night, and little good it would do me. Pinch me and claw me, if you are so furious. I quite understand. You were aiming high, and you have learned that we are not always masters of our fate. I am inclined to suspect that he has been drawn in another direction all along. I do feel sorry for you, believe me. And, do you know, I feel a little sorry for myself too, left out in the cold with requests that have taken me nowhere at all. But be that as it may, you would do well to accept what has happened, maybe you could even coax159 forth a thought or two about us, you and me. We may know that your door is locked, but can you imagine that other people will believe in the purity that so distinguishes us? Do you think that my royal friend, for instance, who persuaded me to act as his guide this evening — do you think he can imagine the possibility of such a pointless and useless night?”
He seemed prepared to break the door in. It still seemed best to humor him.
“This ‘fate’ you speak of is not easy to grasp, and I cannot pretend to know much about it. I only know that ‘tears block off the unknown way ahead.’ It is a nightmare, trying to guess what you mean to do next. If people choose to remember my sister and me as some sort of case in point, I am sure it will be to add us to the list of ridiculous women who are always turning up in old stories. And are you prepared to tell me what your friend means to do now that the two of you have been so clever? Please, I beg of you, do not make things worse, do not confuse us further. If I should survive this crisis, and I am not at all sure that I will, I may one day be able to compose myself for a talk with you. At the moment I am feeling very upset and unwell, and think I must rest. Leave me alone, if you do not mind.”
She clearly was upset, and that she should be so rational in spite of her distress made him feel his own inadequacy160.
“I have done everything imaginable to follow your wishes, and I have made a fool of myself every step of the way. I have done everything, and you seem to find me insufferable. Well, I will go — disappear might be the better expression.” After a moment he continued: “But even if you are not feeling well, we can at least go on talking through the door. Please do not run away.
He released her sleeve and was delighted to see that she did not withdraw very far.” Just stay there and be a comfort through the night. I would not dream of asking more.”
It was a difficult, sleepless161 night. In the roar of the wind and water, which seemed to rise as the night advanced, he was like a pheasant without its mate.
The first signs of dawn came over the sky, and as always the monastery bells were ringing. His late-sleeping friend had still not left Nakanokimi’s side. In some disquiet162, Kaoru gave a summoning cough. It was an unusual situation.
“A futile163 night. The guide of yestereve
Seems doomed164 to wander lost down the twilight road.
I cannot believe that you have heard of anything quite like it.”
She replied in a voice so low that he could scarcely hear:
“You walk a road you have chosen for yourself,
While helplessly we stumble on in darkness.”
All his impatience165 came back. “Can you not be persuaded, please, to dismantle166 a few of these unnecessary defenses?”
As the sky grew brighter Niou emerged, and with him a quiet fragrance that cast just the right veil of delicacy167 over the events of the night before. The old women were open-mouthed. But they quickly found comfort. The other young gentleman would surely have all the right motives168 for his conduct.
Niou and Kaoru hurried back to the city before daylight overtook them. The return journey seemed far longer than had the way to Uji. Always aware of the obstacles that kept a man of his rank from embarking169 on carefree outings, Niou had already begun to lament” the nights to come. “ The streets were still deserted when they arrived back at Nijō. Ordering the carriage drawn up at the veranda, they slipped indoors, smiling at the strange, ladylike vehicle that had guarded their incognito170.
“If you were to ask me, I would say that you had done your duty most admirably,” said Kaoru, letting fall no hint of the grotesque171 arrangements he himself had made.
Niou hurried off to compose a note.
The sisters were in a daze172. Nakanokimi was angry and sullen173: so her sister had had these plans and had not permitted her an inkling of them. Oigimi, for her part, unable to find a convenient way to protest her innocence174, could only sigh at the thought of how just this resentment was. The old women looked from one to the other in search of an explanation for this startling turn of events; but the lady who should have been their strength seemed lost to the world, and they could only go on wondering.
Oigimi opened the note and showed it to her sister, but Nakanokimi lay with her face pressed against her sleeve. “What a long time they are taking with their answer,” thought the messenger.
This was Niou’s verse:
“You cannot think that a trifling urge induced me
To brave, for you, that tangled175, dew-drenched path?”
The accomplished176 hand, ever more remarkable, had delighted them back in the days when it had been of no particular concern to them. Now it was a source of apprehension177. Oigimi did not think it seemly to step forward and answer in her sister’s place. She limited herself to pressing the claims of propriety178, and finally persuaded Nakanokimi to put together a note. They rewarded the messenger with a woman’s robe in the wild-aster combination and a pair of doubly lined trousers. The messenger, a court page whom Niou often made use of and who would be unlikely to attract notice, seemed reluctant to accept the gifts, which they therefore wrapped in a cloth parcel and handed to his man. Having been at such pains to make the mission inconspicuous, Niou was annoyed. He blamed the officious old woman of the evening before.
He asked Kaoru to be his guide again that evening.
“I am really very sorry, but I have an engagement at the Reizei Palace from which I cannot ask to be excused.”
“So it is with my worthy107 friend — not at all interested in the most interesting things in life.”
At Uji, Oigimi had been the first to succumb. Could she turn him away on no better grounds than that he was not the suitor she had had in mind for her sister? The house was badly equipped for decking out a nuptial179 chamber180, but she managed to make do rather well with the rustic181 furnishings at hand. In control of herself once more, she was pleased that
Niou should come hurrying down the long road to Uji, and at the same time she could not help wondering that her plans had gone so wildly astray. Nakanokimi, still in a daze, gave herself up to the women who had undertaken to dress her for the night. The sleeves of her crimson robe were damp with tears.
The more composed of the sisters was also in tears. “I cannot believe I have much longer to live, and I think only of you. These people have worn my ears out telling me what a fine match it is. Well, I have said to myself, they are older and more experienced, and probably they are right, at least as the world sees things. And so I put together a small amount of resolve — not that I pretend to know a great deal — and told myself that I was not going to leave you unprotected. But I never dreamed that things could go so horribly awry182. People talk about matches that are fated to be, and I suppose this is one of them. I am as upset as you are, you must believe me. When you have calmed yourself a little I shall try to prove that I knew nothing at all about it. Please don’t be angry with me. The time will come when you will be sorry if you are.”
She stroked her sister’s hair as she spoke. Nakanokimi did not answer. Her mind was jumping from thought to thought. If her sister was so worried about her now, it did not seem likely that she had behaved with any sort of deliberate malice183. She herself was only making things worse. They were fools for the world to laugh at, both of them, and there was no point in adding to her sister’s unhappiness.
Even in a state of something near shock she had been very beautiful. Tonight, more in possession of herself, she was still more of a delight. Niou’s heart ached at the thought of how long, and for him how strewn with obstacles, the road to Uji was. He made promise after promise. Nakanokimi was neither pleased nor moved. She was merely bewildered — men were quite beyond her. All maidens184 are shy; but shyness has its limits when a maiden, however pampered185 and sheltered, has lived in a house with brothers. Our princess, though scarcely pampered, had grown up in these secluded186 mountains, far from the greater world; and the timidity brought on by this unexpected event made it difficult for her to force her way through the tiniest answer. He would think her in every respect queer and countrified, entirely unlike other ladies of his acquaintance; and she was, in every respect, the quicker and more accomplished of the two sisters.
The women reminded them of the rice cakes that are customary on the third night. Yes — it was a form that must be observed, thought Oigimi. She put her sister to work. Nakanokimi was of course a novice187 in such matters, and Oigimi too, doing her best to play the part of the older sister, felt herself flushing scarlet188. How ridiculous they must seem to these women! But in fact the women were entranced. This calm elegance189, they thought, was what one expected of an eldest190 daughter, and at the same time it testified to her concern and affection for her sister.
A letter came from Kaoru, written in a careful cursive hand on rather ordinary Michinoku paper. “I thought of calling last night, but it is clear that my humble191 efforts are bringing no rewards. I must confess a certain resentment. I know that there will be all manner of errands to see to this evening, but the memory of the other night leaves me squirming. And so I shall bide192 my time.”
In several boxes he sent Bennokimi numerous bolts of cloth, for the women, he said. It would seem that, relying on what his mother happened to have at hand, he had not been as lavish193 as he would have wished to be. Lengths of undyed silk, plain and figured, were hidden beneath two tastefully finished robes and singlets. At the sleeve of a singlet was a poem, somewhat old-fashioned, it might have seemed:
“We did not share a bed, I hear you say.
But we were together, that I must insist.”
How very threatening. And yet, in some discomfiture194, Oigimi had to grant his point: neither she nor her sister had any defenses left. Some of the messengers ran off while she was still puzzling over her answer. She detained the lowest-ranking among them until she had a poem to give him.
“No barrier, perhaps, between our hearts;
But say not that our sleeves caress195 each other.”
It was an ordinary poem, showing, however, traces of her agitation. He was touched. He thought he could see in it honest and unaffected feelings.
Meanwhile Niou was beside himself. He was at the palace and there seemed no chance of escaping. His mother had taken advantage of his presence to chide196 him for his lengthy absences. “Here you are still single, and people tell me that you are already beginning to acquire a name for yourself as a lover. I do not like it at all. Do not, if you please, make a career of it. Your father is no happier than I am.”
Niou withdrew to his private chambers197. Kaoru came upon him sunk in thought, having finished a letter to Uji. The visit delighted him. Here was someone who understood.
“What am I to do? It is already dark, and — really, what am I to do?”
Kaoru saw a chance to explore his friend’s intentions. “We haven’t been seeing much of you lately, and your mother will not be at all happy if you go running off again. The ladies have been handing little rumors198 around. I can already hear the scolding I’ve let myself in for.”
“Yes, there is the problem of my good mother. She has just annihilated199 me, as a matter of fact. Those women must be lying to her. What have I done, after all, that the whole world should be criticizing me? Life is not easy when your father wears a crown, that I can tell you.” His sighs did suggest that he found his wellborn lot a sad one.
Kaoru was beginning to feel sorry for him. “Well, you will have a scene on your hands whether you go or whether you stay. If there is to be carnage, I am prepared to immolate200 myself. Suppose we think of a horse for getting over Mount Kohata. It will attract attention, of course.”
The night was blacker and blacker, Niou more and more nervous; but finally he made his departure, on horseback, as Kaoru had suggested.
“I think,” said Kaoru, seeing him off, “that it would be better for me to stay behind and do what I can to cover the rear.” He went from Niou’s apartments to the empress’s audience chamber.
“So he has run off again,” said she. “I cannot understand him. Has he no notion of what people will be thinking? I am the one who will suffer when his father hears of it and concludes that someone has been remiss201.”
She was the mother of a considerable band of grown children, and she only seemed younger as the years went by. No doubt her oldest daughter, the First Princess, was very much like her. He thought it a great pity that the occasion had been denied him to approach the daughter, if only to hear her voice, as he was now approaching the mother. It was probably in such a situation, he mused202 — when the lady was neither distant nor yet near enough to come at a summons — that the amorously203 inclined young men of the world tended to have improper thoughts. Was there anyone as eccentric as he? And yet even he, once his affections had been engaged, found it impossible to detach them. Here among the empress’s attendants was not a single lady who could be called wanting in sensitivity or elegance. Each had her own merits, and several were outstandingly beautiful. But he was propriety itself towards all of them, determined that none should excite him — and this despite the fact that several had made advances. Since the empress held court with such quiet dignity, nothing was allowed to appear on the surface; but women have their ways, and there were those in her retinue204 who let slip hints that they found him interesting. He for his part was sometimes amused and sometimes touched, and through all these trifling encounters there ran an awareness205 of evanescence.
Oigimi was in despair. Kaoru had made such a thing of
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scriptures
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| 经文，圣典( scripture的名词复数 )； 经典 | |
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monastery
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| n.修道院，僧院，寺院 | |
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incense
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| v.激怒；n.香，焚香时的烟，香气 | |
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catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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spool
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| n.（缠录音带等的）卷盘（轴）；v.把…绕在卷轴上 | |
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allusion
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pretentious
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bereavement
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| n.亲人丧亡，丧失亲人，丧亲之痛 | |
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deities
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| n.神，女神( deity的名词复数 )；神祗；神灵；神明 | |
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invoked
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| v.援引( invoke的过去式和过去分词 )；行使（权利等）；祈求救助；恳求 | |
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jotted
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| v.匆忙记下( jot的过去式和过去分词 )；草草记下，匆匆记下 | |
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vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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chilliness
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| n.寒冷，寒意，严寒 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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17
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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18
poke
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| n.刺，戳，袋；vt.拨开，刺，戳；vi.戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
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19
maturity
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| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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20
punctuated
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| v.（在文字中）加标点符号，加标点( punctuate的过去式和过去分词 )；不时打断某事物 | |
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21
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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22
grumbling
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| adj. 喃喃鸣不平的, 出怨言的 | |
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23
monks
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| n.修道士，僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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24
gnawing
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| a.痛苦的，折磨人的 | |
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25
vowed
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| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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26
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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27
jumble
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| vt.使混乱，混杂；n.混乱；杂乱的一堆 | |
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28
haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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29
intimidate
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| vt.恐吓，威胁 | |
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30
flirtation
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| n.调情，调戏，挑逗 | |
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31
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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32
touchy
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| adj.易怒的；棘手的 | |
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33
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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34
muster
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| v.集合，收集，鼓起，激起；n.集合，检阅，集合人员，点名册 | |
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35
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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36
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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37
shameful
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| adj.可耻的，不道德的 | |
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38
disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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39
tempting
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| a.诱人的, 吸引人的 | |
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40
poignantly
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41
melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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42
replenish
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| vt.补充；(把…)装满；(再)填满 | |
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43
fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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44
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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45
friendliness
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| n.友谊，亲切，亲密 | |
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46
luster
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| n.光辉；光泽，光亮；荣誉 | |
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47
inclinations
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| 倾向( inclination的名词复数 )； 倾斜； 爱好； 斜坡 | |
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48
wringing
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| 淋湿的，湿透的 | |
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49
distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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50
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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51
somber
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| adj.昏暗的，阴天的，阴森的，忧郁的 | |
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52
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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53
feign
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| vt.假装，佯作 | |
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54
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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55
scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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56
susceptible
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| adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的 | |
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57
succumb
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| v.屈服，屈从；死 | |
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58
wailing
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| v.哭叫，哀号( wail的现在分词 )；沱 | |
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59
torrent
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| n.激流，洪流；爆发，(话语等的)连发 | |
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60
veranda
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| n.走廊；阳台 | |
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61
villa
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| n.别墅，城郊小屋 | |
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62
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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63
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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64
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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65
elusive
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| adj.难以表达(捉摸)的；令人困惑的；逃避的 | |
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66
uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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67
expediency
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| n.适宜；方便；合算；利己 | |
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68
accede
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| v.应允，同意 | |
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69
humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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70
displease
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| vt.使不高兴，惹怒；n.不悦，不满，生气 | |
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71
disapprove
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| v.不赞成，不同意，不批准 | |
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72
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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73
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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74
aloofness
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| 超然态度 | |
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75
prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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76
prostration
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| n. 平伏, 跪倒, 疲劳 | |
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77
recesses
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| n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 )；（工作或业务活动的）中止或暂停期间；学校的课间休息；某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 )；将（墙）做成凹形，在（墙）上做壁龛；休息，休会，休庭 | |
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78
beckon
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| v.(以点头或打手势)向...示意，召唤 | |
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79
incompetence
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| n.不胜任，不称职 | |
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80
bleak
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| adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的 | |
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81
lighter
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| n.打火机，点火器；驳船；v.用驳船运送；light的比较级 | |
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82
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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83
reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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84
deferential
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| adj. 敬意的，恭敬的 | |
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85
obstinacy
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| n.顽固；（病痛等）难治 | |
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86
interpretation
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| n.解释，说明，描述；艺术处理 | |
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87
sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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88
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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89
embittered
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| v.使怨恨，激怒( embitter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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90
overtures
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| n.主动的表示，提议；（向某人做出的）友好表示、姿态或提议( overture的名词复数 )；（歌剧、芭蕾舞、音乐剧等的）序曲，前奏曲 | |
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91
atone
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| v.赎罪，补偿 | |
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92
chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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93
shambles
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| n.混乱之处；废墟 | |
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94
sweeping
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| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
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95
apprehensive
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| adj.担心的，恐惧的，善于领会的 | |
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96
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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97
obsessions
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| n.使人痴迷的人（或物）( obsession的名词复数 )；着魔；困扰 | |
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98
converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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99
outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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100
explicit
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| adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的 | |
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101
inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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102
mediation
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| n.调解 | |
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103
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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104
improper
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| adj.不适当的，不合适的，不正确的，不合礼仪的 | |
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105
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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106
cramped
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| a.狭窄的 | |
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107
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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108
Buddha
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| n.佛；佛像；佛陀 | |
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109
lengthy
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| adj.漫长的，冗长的 | |
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110
resolutely
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| adj.坚决地，果断地 | |
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111
futility
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| n.无用 | |
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112
trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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113
conspiracy
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| n.阴谋，密谋，共谋 | |
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114
shutters
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| 百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 )； （照相机的）快门 | |
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115
rattling
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| adj. 格格作响的, 活泼的, 很好的 adv. 极其, 很, 非常 动词rattle的现在分词 | |
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116
consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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117
awaken
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| vi.醒，觉醒；vt.唤醒，使觉醒，唤起，激起 | |
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118
huddled
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| 挤在一起（huddle的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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119
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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120
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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121
winsome
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| n.迷人的，漂亮的 | |
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122
chagrin
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| n.懊恼；气愤；委屈 | |
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123
noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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124
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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125
mustering
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| v.集合，召集，集结（尤指部队）( muster的现在分词 )；（自他人处）搜集某事物；聚集；激发 | |
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126
uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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127
idiocy
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| n.愚蠢 | |
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128
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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129
laconic
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| adj.简洁的；精练的 | |
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130
goad
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| n.刺棒，刺痛物；激励；vt.激励，刺激 | |
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131
hues
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| 色彩( hue的名词复数 )； 色调； 信仰； 观点 | |
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132
forsaking
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| 放弃( forsake的现在分词 )； 弃绝； 抛弃； 摒弃 | |
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133
fretted
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| 焦躁的，附有弦马的，腐蚀的 | |
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134
verandas
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| 阳台，走廊( veranda的名词复数 ) | |
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135
brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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136
fragrance
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| n.芬芳，香味，香气 | |
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137
incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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138
candor
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| n.坦白，率真 | |
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139
chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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140
maiden
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| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
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141
bantering
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| adj.嘲弄的v.开玩笑，说笑，逗乐( banter的现在分词 )；（善意地）取笑，逗弄 | |
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142
misty
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| adj.雾蒙蒙的，有雾的 | |
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143
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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144
importuned
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| v.纠缠，向（某人）不断要求( importune的过去式和过去分词 )；（妓女）拉（客） | |
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145
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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146
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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147
unaware
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| a.不知道的，未意识到的 | |
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148
fidelity
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| n.忠诚，忠实；精确 | |
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149
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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150
pretense
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| n.矫饰，做作，借口 | |
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151
forgoing
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| v.没有也行，放弃( forgo的现在分词 ) | |
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152
splendor
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| n.光彩；壮丽，华丽；显赫，辉煌 | |
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153
manor
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| n.庄园，领地 | |
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154
bustled
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| 闹哄哄地忙乱，奔忙( bustle的过去式和过去分词 )； 催促 | |
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155
testily
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| adv. 易怒地, 暴躁地 | |
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156
innate
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| adj.天生的，固有的，天赋的 | |
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157
pestering
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| 使烦恼，纠缠( pester的现在分词 ) | |
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158
dangling
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| 悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 )； 摆动不定； 用某事物诱惑…； 吊胃口 | |
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159
coax
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| v.哄诱，劝诱，用诱哄得到，诱取 | |
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160
inadequacy
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| n.无法胜任，信心不足 | |
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161
sleepless
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| adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的 | |
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162
disquiet
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| n.担心，焦虑 | |
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163
futile
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| adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的 | |
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164
doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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165
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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166
dismantle
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| vt.拆开，拆卸；废除，取消 | |
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167
delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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168
motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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169
embarking
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| 乘船( embark的现在分词 )； 装载； 从事 | |
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incognito
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| adv.匿名地；n.隐姓埋名；adj.化装的，用假名的，隐匿姓名身份的 | |
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171
grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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172
daze
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| v.(使)茫然，(使)发昏 | |
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173
sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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174
innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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175
tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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176
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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177
apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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178
propriety
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| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
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179
nuptial
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| adj.婚姻的，婚礼的 | |
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180
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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rustic
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| adj.乡村的，有乡村特色的；n.乡下人，乡巴佬 | |
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awry
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| adj.扭曲的，错的 | |
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183
malice
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| n.恶意，怨恨，蓄意；[律]预谋 | |
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184
maidens
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| 处女( maiden的名词复数 )； 少女； 未婚女子； （板球运动）未得分的一轮投球 | |
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185
pampered
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| adj.饮食过量的，饮食奢侈的v.纵容，宠，娇养( pamper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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186
secluded
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| adj.与世隔绝的；隐退的；偏僻的v.使隔开，使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
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187
novice
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| adj.新手的，生手的 | |
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188
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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elegance
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| n.优雅；优美，雅致；精致，巧妙 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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191
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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bide
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| v.忍耐；等候；住 | |
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193
lavish
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| adj.无节制的；浪费的；vt.慷慨地给予，挥霍 | |
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194
discomfiture
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| n.崩溃；大败；挫败；困惑 | |
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195
caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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196
chide
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| v.叱责；谴责 | |
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197
chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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rumors
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| n.传闻( rumor的名词复数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷v.传闻( rumor的第三人称单数 )；[古]名誉；咕哝；[古]喧嚷 | |
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199
annihilated
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| v.（彻底）消灭( annihilate的过去式和过去分词 )；使无效；废止；彻底击溃 | |
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200
immolate
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| v.牺牲 | |
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201
remiss
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| adj.不小心的，马虎 | |
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202
mused
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| v.沉思，冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 )；沉思自语说（某事） | |
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203
amorously
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| adv.好色地，妖艳地；脉；脉脉；眽眽 | |
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204
retinue
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| n.侍从；随员 | |
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205
awareness
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| n.意识，觉悟，懂事，明智 | |
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