Of the original and antiquity1 of the great Pantagruel.
It will not be an idle nor unprofitable thing, seeing we are at leisure, to put you in mind of the fountain and original source whence is derived2 unto us the good Pantagruel. For I see that all good historiographers have thus handled their chronicles, not only the Arabians, Barbarians3, and Latins, but also the gentle Greeks, who were eternal drinkers. You must therefore remark that at the beginning of the world — I speak of a long time; it is above forty quarantains, or forty times forty nights, according to the supputation of the ancient Druids — a little after that Abel was killed by his brother Cain, the earth, imbrued with the blood of the just, was one year so exceeding fertile in all those fruits which it usually produceth to us, and especially in medlars, that ever since throughout all ages it hath been called the year of the great medlars; for three of them did fill a bushel. In it the kalends were found by the Grecian almanacks. There was that year nothing of the month of March in the time of Lent, and the middle of August was in May. In the month of October, as I take it, or at least September, that I may not err4, for I will carefully take heed5 of that, was the week so famous in the annals, which they call the week of the three Thursdays; for it had three of them by means of their irregular leap-years, called Bissextiles, occasioned by the sun’s having tripped and stumbled a little towards the left hand, like a debtor6 afraid of sergeants7, coming right upon him to arrest him: and the moon varied8 from her course above five fathom9, and there was manifestly seen the motion of trepidation10 in the firmament11 of the fixed12 stars, called Aplanes, so that the middle Pleiade, leaving her fellows, declined towards the equinoctial, and the star named Spica left the constellation13 of the Virgin14 to withdraw herself towards the Balance, known by the name of Libra, which are cases very terrible, and matters so hard and difficult that astrologians cannot set their teeth in them; and indeed their teeth had been pretty long if they could have reached thither15.
However, account you it for a truth that everybody then did most heartily16 eat of these medlars, for they were fair to the eye and in taste delicious. But even as Noah, that holy man, to whom we are so much beholding17, bound, and obliged, for that he planted to us the vine, from whence we have that nectarian, delicious, precious, heavenly, joyful18, and deific liquor which they call the piot or tiplage, was deceived in the drinking of it, for he was ignorant of the great virtue19 and power thereof; so likewise the men and women of that time did delight much in the eating of that fair great fruit, but divers20 and very different accidents did ensue thereupon; for there fell upon them all in their bodies a most terrible swelling22, but not upon all in the same place, for some were swollen23 in the belly24, and their belly strouted out big like a great tun, of whom it is written, Ventrem omnipotentem, who were all very honest men, and merry blades. And of this race came St. Fatgulch and Shrove Tuesday (Pansart, Mardigras.). Others did swell21 at the shoulders, who in that place were so crump and knobby that they were therefore called Montifers, which is as much to say as Hill-carriers, of whom you see some yet in the world, of divers sexes and degrees. Of this race came Aesop, some of whose excellent words and deeds you have in writing. Some other puffs25 did swell in length by the member which they call the labourer of nature, in such sort that it grew marvellous long, fat, great, lusty, stirring, and crest-risen, in the antique fashion, so that they made use of it as of a girdle, winding26 it five or six times about their waist: but if it happened the foresaid member to be in good case, spooming with a full sail bunt fair before the wind, then to have seen those strouting champions, you would have taken them for men that had their lances settled on their rest to run at the ring or tilting27 whintam (quintain). Of these, believe me, the race is utterly28 lost and quite extinct, as the women say; for they do lament29 continually that there are none extant now of those great, &c. You know the rest of the song. Others did grow in matter of ballocks so enormously that three of them would well fill a sack able to contain five quarters of wheat. From them are descended30 the ballocks of Lorraine, which never dwell in codpieces, but fall down to the bottom of the breeches. Others grew in the legs, and to see them you would have said they had been cranes, or the reddish-long-billed-storklike-scrank-legged sea-fowls called flamans, or else men walking upon stilts31 or scatches. The little grammar-school boys, known by the name of Grimos, called those leg-grown slangams Jambus, in allusion32 to the French word jambe, which signifieth a leg. In others, their nose did grow so, that it seemed to be the beak33 of a limbeck, in every part thereof most variously diapered with the twinkling sparkles of crimson34 blisters35 budding forth36, and purpled with pimples37 all enamelled with thickset wheals of a sanguine38 colour, bordered with gules; and such have you seen the Canon or Prebend Panzoult, and Woodenfoot, the physician of Angiers. Of which race there were few that looked the ptisane, but all of them were perfect lovers of the pure Septembral juice. Naso and Ovid had their extraction from thence, and all those of whom it is written, Ne reminiscaris. Others grew in ears, which they had so big that out of one would have been stuff enough got to make a doublet, a pair of breeches, and a jacket, whilst with the other they might have covered themselves as with a Spanish cloak: and they say that in Bourbonnois this race remaineth yet. Others grew in length of body, and of those came the Giants, and of them Pantagruel.
And the first was Chalbroth,
Who begat Sarabroth,
Who begat Faribroth,
Who begat Hurtali, that was a brave eater of pottage, and reigned39 in the time of the flood;
Who begat Nembroth,
Who begat Atlas40, that with his shoulders kept the sky from falling;
Who begat Goliah,
Who begat Erix, that invented the hocus pocus plays of legerdemain41;
Who begat Titius,
Who begat Eryon,
Who begat Polyphemus,
Who begat Cacus,
Who begat Etion, the first man that ever had the pox, for not drinking fresh in summer, as Bartachin witnesseth;
Who begat Enceladus,
Who begat Ceus,
Who begat Tiphaeus,
Who begat Alaeus,
Who begat Othus,
Who begat Aegeon,
Who begat Briareus, that had a hundred hands;
Who begat Porphyrio,
Who begat Adamastor,
Who begat Anteus,
Who begat Agatho,
Who begat Porus, against whom fought Alexander the Great;
Who begat Aranthas,
Who begat Gabbara, that was the first inventor of the drinking of healths;
Who begat Goliah of Secondille,
Who begat Offot, that was terribly well nosed for drinking at the barrel-head;
Who begat Artachaeus,
Who begat Oromedon,
Who begat Gemmagog, the first inventor of Poulan shoes, which are open on the foot and tied over the instep with a lachet;
Who begat Sisyphus,
Who begat the Titans, of whom Hercules was born;
Who begat Enay, the most skilful42 man that ever was in matter of taking the little worms (called cirons) out of the hands;
Who begat Fierabras, that was vanquished43 by Oliver, peer of France and Roland’s comrade;
Who begat Morgan, the first in the world that played at dice44 with spectacles;
Who begat Fracassus, of whom Merlin Coccaius hath written, and of him was born Ferragus,
Who begat Hapmouche, the first that ever invented the drying of neat’s tongues in the chimney; for, before that, people salted them as they do now gammons of bacon;
Who begat Bolivorax,
Who begat Longis,
Who begat Gayoffo, whose ballocks were of poplar, and his pr . . . of the service or sorb-apple-tree;
Who begat Maschefain,
Who begat Bruslefer,
Who begat Angoulevent,
Who begat Galehaut, the inventor of flagons;
Who begat Mirelangaut,
Who begat Gallaffre,
Who begat Falourdin,
Who begat Roboast,
Who begat Sortibrant of Conimbres,
Who begat Brushant of Mommiere,
Who begat Bruyer that was overcome by Ogier the Dane, peer of France;
Who begat Mabrun,
Who begat Foutasnon,
Who begat Haquelebac,
Who begat Vitdegrain,
Who begat Grangousier,
Who begat Gargantua,
Who begat the noble Pantagruel, my master.
I know that, reading this passage, you will make a doubt within yourselves, and that grounded upon very good reason, which is this — how it is possible that this relation can be true, seeing at the time of the flood all the world was destroyed, except Noah and seven persons more with him in the ark, into whose number Hurtali is not admitted. Doubtless the demand is well made and very apparent, but the answer shall satisfy you, or my wit is not rightly caulked45. And because I was not at that time to tell you anything of my own fancy, I will bring unto you the authority of the Massorets, good honest fellows, true ballockeering blades and exact Hebraical bagpipers, who affirm that verily the said Hurtali was not within the ark of Noah, neither could he get in, for he was too big, but he sat astride upon it, with one leg on the one side and another on the other, as little children use to do upon their wooden horses; or as the great bull of Berne, which was killed at Marinian, did ride for his hackney the great murdering piece called the canon-pevier, a pretty beast of a fair and pleasant amble46 without all question.
In that posture47, he, after God, saved the said ark from danger, for with his legs he gave it the brangle that was needful, and with his foot turned it whither he pleased, as a ship answereth her rudder. Those that were within sent him up victuals48 in abundance by a chimney, as people very thankfully acknowledging the good that he did them. And sometimes they did talk together as Icaromenippus did to Jupiter, according to the report of Lucian. Have you understood all this well? Drink then one good draught49 without water, for if you believe it not,— no truly do I not, quoth she.
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antiquity
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| n.古老；高龄；古物，古迹 | |
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derived
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| vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取 | |
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barbarians
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| n.野蛮人( barbarian的名词复数 )；外国人；粗野的人；无教养的人 | |
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err
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| vi.犯错误，出差错 | |
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heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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debtor
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| n.借方，债务人 | |
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sergeants
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| 警官( sergeant的名词复数 )； （美国警察）警佐； （英国警察）巡佐； 陆军（或空军）中士 | |
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varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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fathom
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| v.领悟，彻底了解 | |
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trepidation
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| n.惊恐，惶恐 | |
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firmament
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| n.苍穹；最高层 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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constellation
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| n.星座n.灿烂的一群 | |
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virgin
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| n.处女，未婚女子；adj.未经使用的；未经开发的 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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21
swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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swelling
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| n.肿胀 | |
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swollen
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| adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀 | |
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belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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25
puffs
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| n.吸( puff的名词复数 )；（烟斗或香烟的）一吸；一缕（烟、蒸汽等）；（呼吸或风的）呼v.使喷出( puff的第三人称单数 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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tilting
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| 倾斜，倾卸 | |
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28
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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29
lament
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| n.悲叹，悔恨，恸哭；v.哀悼，悔恨，悲叹 | |
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30
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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31
stilts
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| n.（支撑建筑物高出地面或水面的）桩子，支柱( stilt的名词复数 )；高跷 | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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33
beak
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| n.鸟嘴，茶壶嘴，钩形鼻 | |
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34
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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blisters
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| n.水疱( blister的名词复数 )；水肿；气泡 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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pimples
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| n.丘疹，粉刺，小脓疱( pimple的名词复数 ) | |
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38
sanguine
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| adj.充满希望的，乐观的，血红色的 | |
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39
reigned
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| vi.当政，统治（reign的过去式形式） | |
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40
atlas
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| n.地图册，图表集 | |
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41
legerdemain
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| n.戏法，诈术 | |
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42
skilful
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| (=skillful)adj.灵巧的，熟练的 | |
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43
vanquished
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| v.征服( vanquish的过去式和过去分词 )；战胜；克服；抑制 | |
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44
dice
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| n.骰子；vt.把（食物）切成小方块，冒险 | |
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45
caulked
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| v.堵（船的）缝( caulk的过去式和过去分词 )；泥…的缝；填塞；使不漏水 | |
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46
amble
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| vi.缓行，漫步 | |
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47
posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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48
victuals
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| n.食物；食品 | |
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49
draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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