How Panurge praiseth the debtors1 and borrowers.
But, quoth Pantagruel, when will you be out of debt? At the next ensuing term of the Greek kalends, answered Panurge, when all the world shall be content, and that it be your fate to become your own heir. The Lord forbid that I should be out of debt, as if, indeed, I could not be trusted. Who leaves not some leaven3 over night, will hardly have paste the next morning.
Be still indebted to somebody or other, that there may be somebody always to pray for you, that the giver of all good things may grant unto you a blessed, long, and prosperous life; fearing, if fortune should deal crossly with you, that it might be his chance to come short of being paid by you, he will always speak good of you in every company, ever and anon purchase new creditors4 unto you; to the end, that through their means you may make a shift by borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, and with other folk’s earth fill up his ditch. When of old, in the region of the Gauls, by the institution of the Druids, and servants, slaves, and bondmen were burnt quick at the funerals and obsequies of their lords and masters, had not they fear enough, think you, that their lords and masters should die? For, perforce, they were to die with them for company. Did not they incessantly6 send up their supplications to their great god Mercury, as likewise unto Dis, the father of wealth, to lengthen7 out their days, and to preserve them long in health? Were not they very careful to entertain them well, punctually to look unto them, and to attend them faithfully and circumspectly8? For by those means were they to live together at least until the hour of death. Believe me, your creditors with a more fervent9 devotion will beseech10 Almighty11 God to prolong your life, they being of nothing more afraid than that you should die; for that they are more concerned for the sleeve than the arm, and love silver better than their own lives. As it evidently appeareth by the usurers of Landerousse, who not long since hanged themselves because the price of the corn and wines was fallen by the return of a gracious season. To this Pantagruel answering nothing, Panurge went on in his discourse12, saying, Truly and in good sooth, sir, when I ponder my destiny aright, and think well upon it, you put me shrewdly to my plunges13, and have me at a bay in twitting me with the reproach of my debts and creditors. And yet did I, in this only respect and consideration of being a debtor2, esteem14 myself worshipful, reverend, and formidable. For against the opinion of most philosophers, that of nothing ariseth nothing, yet, without having bottomed on so much as that which is called the First Matter, did I out of nothing become such (a) maker15 and creator, that I have created — what?— a gay number of fair and jolly creditors. Nay16, creditors, I will maintain it, even to the very fire itself exclusively, are fair and goodly creatures. Who lendeth nothing is an ugly and wicked creature, and an accursed imp17 of the infernal Old Nick. And there is made — what? Debts. A thing most precious and dainty, of great use and antiquity18. Debts, I say, surmounting19 the number of syllables20 which may result from the combinations of all the consonants21, with each of the vowels23 heretofore projected, reckoned, and calculated by the noble Xenocrates. To judge of the perfection of debtors by the numerosity of their creditors is the readiest way for entering into the mysteries of practical arithmetic.
You can hardly imagine how glad I am, when every morning I perceive myself environed and surrounded with brigades of creditors — humble24, fawning25, and full of their reverences26. And whilst I remark that, as I look more favourably27 upon and give a cheerfuller countenance28 to one than to another, the fellow thereupon buildeth a conceit29 that he shall be the first despatched and the foremost in the date of payment, and he valueth my smiles at the rate of ready money, it seemeth unto me that I then act and personate the god of the passion of Saumure, accompanied with his angels and cherubims.
These are my flatterers, my soothers, my clawbacks, my smoothers, my parasites30, my saluters, my givers of good-morrows, and perpetual orators32; which makes me verily think that the supremest height of heroic virtue33 described by Hesiod consisteth in being a debtor, wherein I held the first degree in my commencement. Which dignity, though all human creatures seem to aim at and aspire34 thereto, few nevertheless, because of the difficulties in the way and encumbrances35 of hard passages, are able to reach it, as is easily perceivable by the ardent36 desire and vehement37 longing38 harboured in the breast of everyone to be still creating more debts and new creditors.
Yet doth it not lie in the power of everyone to be a debtor. To acquire creditors is not at the disposure of each man’s arbitrament. You nevertheless would deprive me of this sublime39 felicity. You ask me when I will be out of debt. Well, to go yet further on, and possibly worse in your conceit, may Saint Bablin, the good saint, snatch me, if I have not all my lifetime held debt to be as a union or conjunction of the heavens with the earth, and the whole cement whereby the race of mankind is kept together; yea, of such virtue and efficacy that, I say, the whole progeny40 of Adam would very suddenly perish without it. Therefore, perhaps, I do not think amiss, when I repute it to be the great soul of the universe, which, according to the opinion of the Academics, vivifieth all manner of things. In confirmation41 whereof, that you may the better believe it to be so, represent unto yourself, without any prejudicacy of spirit, in a clear and serene42 fancy, the idea and form of some other world than this; take, if you please, and lay hold on the thirtieth of those which the philosopher Metrodorus did enumerate43, wherein it is to be supposed there is no debtor or creditor5, that is to say, a world without debts.
There amongst the planets will be no regular course, all will be in disorder44. Jupiter, reckoning himself to be nothing indebted unto Saturn45, will go near to detrude him out of his sphere, and with the Homeric chain will be like to hang up the intelligences, gods, heavens, demons46, heroes, devils, earth and sea, together with the other elements. Saturn, no doubt, combining with Mars will reduce that so disturbed world into a chaos47 of confusion.
Mercury then would be no more subjected to the other planets; he would scorn to be any longer their Camillus, as he was of old termed in the Etrurian tongue. For it is to be imagined that he is no way a debtor to them.
Venus will be no more venerable, because she shall have lent nothing. The moon will remain bloody48 and obscure. For to what end should the sun impart unto her any of his light? He owed her nothing. Nor yet will the sun shine upon the earth, nor the stars send down any good influence, because the terrestrial globe hath desisted from sending up their wonted nourishment49 by vapours and exhalations, wherewith Heraclitus said, the Stoics50 proved, Cicero maintained, they were cherished and alimented. There would likewise be in such a world no manner of symbolization51, alteration52, nor transmutation amongst the elements; for the one will not esteem itself obliged to the other, as having borrowed nothing at all from it. Earth then will not become water, water will not be changed into air, of air will be made no fire, and fire will afford no heat unto the earth; the earth will produce nothing but monsters, Titans, giants; no rain will descend53 upon it, nor light shine thereon; no wind will blow there, nor will there be in it any summer or harvest. Lucifer will break loose, and issuing forth54 of the depth of hell, accompanied with his furies, fiends, and horned devils, will go about to unnestle and drive out of heaven all the gods, as well of the greater as of the lesser55 nations. Such a world without lending will be no better than a dog-kennel, a place of contention56 and wrangling57, more unruly and irregular than that of the rector of Paris; a devil of an hurlyburly, and more disordered confusion than that of the plagues of Douay. Men will not then salute31 one another; it will be but lost labour to expect aid or succour from any, or to cry fire, water, murder, for none will put to their helping58 hand. Why? He lent no money, there is nothing due to him. Nobody is concerned in his burning, in his shipwreck59, in his ruin, or in his death; and that because he hitherto had lent nothing, and would never thereafter have lent anything. In short, Faith, Hope, and Charity would be quite banished60 from such a world — for men are born to relieve and assist one another; and in their stead should succeed and be introduced Defiance61, Disdain62, and Rancour, with the most execrable troop of all evils, all imprecations, and all miseries63. Whereupon you will think, and that not amiss, that Pandora had there spilt her unlucky bottle. Men unto men will be wolves, hobthrushers, and goblins (as were Lycaon, Bellerophon, Nebuchodonosor), plunderers, highway robbers, cutthroats, rapparees, murderers, poisoners, assassinators, lewd64, wicked, malevolent65, pernicious haters, set against everybody, like to Ishmael, Metabus, or Timon the Athenian, who for that cause was named Misanthropos, in such short that it would prove much more easy in nature to have fish entertained in the air and bullocks fed in the bottom of the ocean, than to support or tolerate a rascally66 rabble67 of people that will not lend. These fellows, I vow22, do I hate with a perfect hatred68; and if, conform to the pattern of this grievous, peevish69, and perverse70 world which lendeth nothing, you figure and liken the little world, which is man, you will find in him a terrible justling coil and clutter71. The head will not lend the sight of his eyes to guide the feet and hands; the legs will refuse to bear up the body; the hands will leave off working any more for the rest of the members; the heart will be weary of its continual motion for the beating of the pulse, and will no longer lend his assistance; the lungs will withdraw the use of their bellows72; the liver will desist from convoying any more blood through the veins73 for the good of the whole; the bladder will not be indebted to the kidneys, so that the urine thereby74 will be totally stopped. The brains, in the interim75, considering this unnatural76 course, will fall into a raving77 dotage78, and withhold79 all feeling from the sinews and motion from the muscles. Briefly80, in such a world without order and array, owing nothing, lending nothing, and borrowing nothing, you would see a more dangerous conspiration than that which Aesop exposed in his Apologue. Such a world will perish undoubtedly81; and not only perish, but perish very quickly. Were it Aesculapius himself, his body would immediately rot, and the chafing82 soul, full of indignation, take its flight to all the devils of hell after my money.
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debtors
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| n.债务人，借方( debtor的名词复数 ) | |
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debtor
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| n.借方，债务人 | |
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leaven
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| v.使发酵；n.酵母；影响 | |
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creditors
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| n.债权人，债主( creditor的名词复数 ) | |
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creditor
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| n.债仅人，债主，贷方 | |
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incessantly
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| ad.不停地 | |
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lengthen
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| vt.使伸长，延长 | |
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circumspectly
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| adv.慎重地，留心地 | |
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fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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beseech
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| v.祈求，恳求 | |
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almighty
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| adj.全能的，万能的；很大的，很强的 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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plunges
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| n.跳进，投入vt.使投入，使插入，使陷入vi.投入，跳进，陷入v.颠簸( plunge的第三人称单数 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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maker
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| n.制造者，制造商 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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imp
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| n.顽童 | |
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antiquity
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| n.古老；高龄；古物，古迹 | |
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surmounting
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| 战胜( surmount的现在分词 )； 克服（困难）； 居于…之上； 在…顶上 | |
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syllables
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| n.音节( syllable的名词复数 ) | |
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consonants
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| n.辅音，子音( consonant的名词复数 )；辅音字母 | |
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vow
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| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
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vowels
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| n.元音，元音字母( vowel的名词复数 ) | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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fawning
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| adj.乞怜的，奉承的v.（尤指狗等）跳过来往人身上蹭以示亲热( fawn的现在分词 )；巴结；讨好 | |
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reverences
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| n.尊敬，崇敬( reverence的名词复数 )；敬礼 | |
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favourably
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| adv. 善意地，赞成地 =favorably | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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conceit
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| n.自负，自高自大 | |
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parasites
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| 寄生物( parasite的名词复数 )； 靠他人为生的人； 诸虫 | |
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salute
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| vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮 | |
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orators
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| n.演说者，演讲家( orator的名词复数 ) | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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aspire
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| vi.(to，after)渴望，追求，有志于 | |
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encumbrances
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| n.负担( encumbrance的名词复数 )；累赘；妨碍；阻碍 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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vehement
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| adj.感情强烈的；热烈的；(人)有强烈感情的 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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progeny
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| n.后代，子孙；结果 | |
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confirmation
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| n.证实，确认，批准 | |
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serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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enumerate
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| v.列举，计算，枚举，数 | |
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disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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Saturn
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| n.农神，土星 | |
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demons
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| n.恶人( demon的名词复数 )；恶魔；精力过人的人；邪念 | |
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chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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bloody
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| adj.非常的的；流血的；残忍的；adv.很；vt.血染 | |
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nourishment
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| n.食物，营养品；营养情况 | |
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stoics
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| 禁欲主义者，恬淡寡欲的人，不以苦乐为意的人( stoic的名词复数 ) | |
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symbolization
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| n.象征，符号表现 | |
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alteration
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| n.变更，改变；蚀变 | |
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descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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contention
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| n.争论，争辩，论战；论点，主张 | |
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wrangling
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| v.争吵，争论，口角( wrangle的现在分词 ) | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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shipwreck
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| n.船舶失事，海难 | |
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banished
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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miseries
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| n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 )；痛苦的事；穷困；常发牢骚的人 | |
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lewd
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| adj.淫荡的 | |
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malevolent
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| adj.有恶意的，恶毒的 | |
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rascally
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| adj. 无赖的，恶棍的 adv. 无赖地，卑鄙地 | |
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rabble
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| n.乌合之众，暴民；下等人 | |
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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peevish
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| adj.易怒的，坏脾气的 | |
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perverse
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| adj.刚愎的；坚持错误的，行为反常的 | |
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clutter
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| n.零乱，杂乱；vt.弄乱，把…弄得杂乱 | |
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bellows
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| n.风箱；发出吼叫声，咆哮（尤指因痛苦）( bellow的名词复数 )；（愤怒地）说出（某事），大叫v.发出吼叫声，咆哮（尤指因痛苦）( bellow的第三人称单数 )；（愤怒地）说出（某事），大叫 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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interim
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| adj.暂时的，临时的；n.间歇，过渡期间 | |
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unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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raving
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| adj.说胡话的；疯狂的，怒吼的；非常漂亮的；令人醉心[痴心]的v.胡言乱语(rave的现在分词)n.胡话；疯话adv.胡言乱语地；疯狂地 | |
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dotage
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| n.年老体衰；年老昏聩 | |
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withhold
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| v.拒绝，不给；使停止，阻挡 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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chafing
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| n.皮肤发炎v.擦热（尤指皮肤）( chafe的现在分词 )；擦痛；发怒；惹怒 | |
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