Why new married men were privileged from going to the wars.
But, in the interim1, asked Panurge, by what law was it constituted, ordained2, and established, that such as should plant a new vineyard, those that should build a new house, and the new married men, should be exempted3 and discharged from the duty of warfare4 for the first year? By the law, answered Pantagruel, of Moses. Why, replied Panurge, the lately married? As for the vine-planters, I am now too old to reflect on them; my condition, at this present, induceth me to remain satisfied with the care of vintage, finishing and turning the grapes into wine. Nor are these pretty new builders of dead stones written or pricked5 down in my Book of Life. It is all with live stones that I set up and erect6 the fabrics7 of my architecture, to wit, men. It was, according to my opinion, quoth Pantagruel, to the end, first, that the fresh married folks should for the first year reap a full and complete fruition of their pleasures in their mutual8 exercise of the act of love, in such sort, that in waiting more at leisure on the production of posterity9 and propagating of their progeny10, they might the better increase their race and make provision of new heirs. That if, in the years thereafter, the men should, upon their undergoing of some military adventure, happen to be killed, their names and coats-of-arms might continue with their children in the same families. And next, that, the wives thereby11 coming to know whether they were barren or fruitful — for one year’s trial, in regard of the maturity12 of age wherein of old they married, was held sufficient for the discovery — they might pitch the more suitably, in case of their first husband’s decease, upon a second match. The fertile women to be wedded13 to those who desire to multiply their issue; and the sterile14 ones to such other mates, as, misregarding the storing of their own lineage, choose them only for their virtues15, learning, genteel behaviour, domestic consolation16, management of the house, and matrimonial conveniences and comforts, and such like. The preachers of Varennes, saith Panurge, detest17 and abhor18 the second marriages, as altogether foolish and dishonest.
Foolish and dishonest? quoth Pantagruel. A plague take such preachers! Yea but, quoth Panurge, the like mischief19 also befall the Friar Charmer, who, in a full auditory making a sermon at Pereilly, and therein abominating20 the reiteration21 of marriage and the entering again in the bonds of a nuptial22 tie, did swear and heartily23 give himself to the swiftest devil in hell, if he had not rather choose, and would much more willingly undertake the unmaidening or depucelating of a hundred virgins24, than the simple drudgery25 of one widow. Truly I find your reason in that point right good and strongly grounded.
But what would you think, if the cause why this exemption26 or immunity27 was granted had no other foundation but that, during the whole space of the said first year, they so lustily bobbed it with their female consorts28, as both reason and equity29 require they should do, that they had drained and evacuated30 their spermatic vessels31; and were become thereby altogether feeble, weak, emasculated, drooping32, and flaggingly pithless; yea, in such sort that they in the day of battle, like ducks which plunge33 over head and ears, would sooner hide themselves behind the baggage, than, in the company of valiant34 fighters and daring military combatants, appear where stern Bellona deals her blows and moves a bustling35 noise of thwacks and thumps36? Nor is it to be thought that, under the standard of Mars, they will so much as once strike a fair stroke, because their most considerable knocks have been already jerked and whirrited within the curtains of his sweetheart Venus.
In confirmation37 whereof, amongst other relics38 and monuments of antiquity39, we now as yet often see, that in all great houses, after the expiring of some few days, these young married blades are readily sent away to visit their uncles, that in the absence of their wives reposing40 themselves a little they may recover their decayed strength by the recruit of a fresh supply, the more vigorous to return again and face about to renew the duelling shock and conflict of an amorous41 dalliance, albeit42 for the greater part they have neither uncle nor aunt to go to.
Just so did the King Crackart, after the battle of the Cornets, not cashier us (speaking properly), I mean me and the Quail-caller, but for our refreshment43 remanded us to our houses; and he is as yet seeking after his own. My grandfather’s godmother was wont44 to say to me when I was a boy,—
Patenostres et oraisons
Sont pour ceux-la, qui les retiennent.
Ung fiffre en fenaisons
Est plus fort que deux qui en viennent.
Not orisons nor patenotres
Shall ever disorder45 my brain.
One cadet, to the field as he flutters,
Is worth two, when they end the campaign.
That which prompteth me to that opinion is, that the vine-planters did seldom eat of the grapes, or drink of the wine of their labour, till the first year was wholly elapsed. During all which time also the builders did hardly inhabit their new-structured dwelling-places, for fear of dying suffocated46 through want of respiration47; as Galen hath most learnedly remarked, in the second book of the Difficulty of Breathing. Under favour, sir, I have not asked this question without cause causing and reason truly very ratiocinant. Be not offended, I pray you.
1 interim | |
adj.暂时的,临时的;n.间歇,过渡期间 | |
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2 ordained | |
v.任命(某人)为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 );授予(某人)圣职;(上帝、法律等)命令;判定 | |
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3 exempted | |
使免除[豁免]( exempt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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4 warfare | |
n.战争(状态);斗争;冲突 | |
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5 pricked | |
刺,扎,戳( prick的过去式和过去分词 ); 刺伤; 刺痛; 使剧痛 | |
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6 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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7 fabrics | |
织物( fabric的名词复数 ); 布; 构造; (建筑物的)结构(如墙、地面、屋顶):质地 | |
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8 mutual | |
adj.相互的,彼此的;共同的,共有的 | |
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9 posterity | |
n.后裔,子孙,后代 | |
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10 progeny | |
n.后代,子孙;结果 | |
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11 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
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12 maturity | |
n.成熟;完成;(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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13 wedded | |
adj.正式结婚的;渴望…的,执著于…的v.嫁,娶,(与…)结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14 sterile | |
adj.不毛的,不孕的,无菌的,枯燥的,贫瘠的 | |
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15 virtues | |
美德( virtue的名词复数 ); 德行; 优点; 长处 | |
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16 consolation | |
n.安慰,慰问 | |
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17 detest | |
vt.痛恨,憎恶 | |
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18 abhor | |
v.憎恶;痛恨 | |
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19 mischief | |
n.损害,伤害,危害;恶作剧,捣蛋,胡闹 | |
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20 abominating | |
v.憎恶,厌恶,不喜欢( abominate的现在分词 ) | |
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21 reiteration | |
n. 重覆, 反覆, 重说 | |
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22 nuptial | |
adj.婚姻的,婚礼的 | |
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23 heartily | |
adv.衷心地,诚恳地,十分,很 | |
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24 virgins | |
处女,童男( virgin的名词复数 ); 童贞玛利亚(耶稣之母) | |
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25 drudgery | |
n.苦工,重活,单调乏味的工作 | |
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26 exemption | |
n.豁免,免税额,免除 | |
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27 immunity | |
n.优惠;免除;豁免,豁免权 | |
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28 consorts | |
n.配偶( consort的名词复数 );(演奏古典音乐的)一组乐师;一组古典乐器;一起v.结伴( consort的第三人称单数 );交往;相称;调和 | |
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29 equity | |
n.公正,公平,(无固定利息的)股票 | |
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30 evacuated | |
撤退者的 | |
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31 vessels | |
n.血管( vessel的名词复数 );船;容器;(具有特殊品质或接受特殊品质的)人 | |
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32 drooping | |
adj. 下垂的,无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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33 plunge | |
v.跳入,(使)投入,(使)陷入;猛冲 | |
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34 valiant | |
adj.勇敢的,英勇的;n.勇士,勇敢的人 | |
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35 bustling | |
adj.喧闹的 | |
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36 thumps | |
n.猪肺病;砰的重击声( thump的名词复数 )v.重击, (指心脏)急速跳动( thump的第三人称单数 ) | |
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37 confirmation | |
n.证实,确认,批准 | |
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38 relics | |
[pl.]n.遗物,遗迹,遗产;遗体,尸骸 | |
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39 antiquity | |
n.古老;高龄;古物,古迹 | |
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40 reposing | |
v.将(手臂等)靠在某人(某物)上( repose的现在分词 ) | |
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41 amorous | |
adj.多情的;有关爱情的 | |
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42 albeit | |
conj.即使;纵使;虽然 | |
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43 refreshment | |
n.恢复,精神爽快,提神之事物;(复数)refreshments:点心,茶点 | |
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44 wont | |
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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45 disorder | |
n.紊乱,混乱;骚动,骚乱;疾病,失调 | |
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46 suffocated | |
(使某人)窒息而死( suffocate的过去式和过去分词 ); (将某人)闷死; 让人感觉闷热; 憋气 | |
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47 respiration | |
n.呼吸作用;一次呼吸;植物光合作用 | |
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