How Panurge had a flea1 in his ear, and forbore to wear any longer his magnificent codpiece.
Panurge, the day thereafter, caused pierce his right ear after the Jewish fashion, and thereto clasped a little gold ring, of a ferny-like kind of workmanship, in the beazil or collet whereof was set and enchased a flea; and, to the end you may be rid of all doubts, you are to know that the flea was black. O, what a brave thing it is, in every case and circumstance of a matter, to be thoroughly2 well informed! The sum of the expense hereof, being cast up, brought in, and laid down upon his council-board carpet, was found to amount to no more quarterly than the charge of the nuptials3 of a Hircanian tigress; even, as you would say, 600,000 maravedis. At these vast costs and excessive disbursements, as soon as he perceived himself to be out of debt, he fretted4 much; and afterwards, as tyrants5 and lawyers use to do, he nourished and fed her with the sweat and blood of his subjects and clients.
He then took four French ells of a coarse brown russet cloth, and therein apparelling himself, as with a long, plain-seamed, and single-stitched gown, left off the wearing of his breeches, and tied a pair of spectacles to his cap. In this equipage did he present himself before Pantagruel; to whom this disguise appeared the more strange, that he did not, as before, see that goodly, fair, and stately codpiece, which was the sole anchor of hope wherein he was wonted to rely, and last refuge he had midst all the waves and boisterous7 billows which a stormy cloud in a cross fortune would raise up against him. Honest Pantagruel, not understanding the mystery, asked him, by way of interrogatory, what he did intend to personate in that new-fangled prosopopoeia. I have, answered Panurge, a flea in mine ear, and have a mind to marry. In a good time, quoth Pantagruel, you have told me joyful8 tidings. Yet would not I hold a red-hot iron in my hand for all the gladness of them. But it is not the fashion of lovers to be accoutred in such dangling9 vestments, so as to have their shirts flagging down over their knees, without breeches, and with a long robe of a dark brown mingled10 hue11, which is a colour never used in Talarian garments amongst any persons of honour, quality, or virtue12. If some heretical persons and schismatical sectaries have at any time formerly13 been so arrayed and clothed (though many have imputed14 such a kind of dress to cosenage, cheat, imposture15, and an affectation of tyranny upon credulous16 minds of the rude multitude), I will nevertheless not blame them for it, nor in that point judge rashly or sinistrously of them. Everyone overflowingly aboundeth in his own sense and fancy; yea, in things of a foreign consideration, altogether extrinsical and indifferent, which in and of themselves are neither commendable17 nor bad, because they proceed not from the interior of the thoughts and heart, which is the shop of all good and evil; of goodness, if it be upright, and that its affections be regulated by the pure and clean spirit of righteousness; and, on the other side, of wickedness, if its inclinations18, straying beyond the bounds of equity19, be corrupted20 and depraved by the malice21 and suggestions of the devil. It is only the novelty and new-fangledness thereof which I dislike, together with the contempt of common custom and the fashion which is in use.
The colour, answered Pantagruel, is convenient, for it is conform to that of my council-board carpet; therefore will I henceforth hold me with it, and more narrowly and circumspectly22 than ever hitherto I have done look to my affairs and business. Seeing I am once out of debt, you never yet saw man more unpleasing than I will be, if God help me not. Lo, here be my spectacles. To see me afar off, you would readily say that it were Friar (John) Burgess. I believe certainly that in the next ensuing year I shall once more preach the Crusade. Bounce, buckram. Do you see this russet? Doubt not but there lurketh under it some hid property and occult virtue known to very few in the world. I did not take it on before this morning, and, nevertheless, am already in a rage of lust23, mad after a wife, and vehemently24 hot upon untying25 the codpiece-point; I itch6, I tingle26, I wriggle27, and long exceedingly to be married, that, without the danger of cudgel-blows, I may labour my female copes-mate with the hard push of a bull-horned devil. O the provident28 and thrifty29 husband that I then will be! After my death, with all honour and respect due to my frugality30, will they burn the sacred bulk of my body, of purpose to preserve the ashes thereof, in memory of the choicest pattern that ever was of a perfectly31 wary32 and complete householder. Cops body, this is not the carpet whereon my treasurer33 shall be allowed to play false in his accounts with me, by setting down an X for a V, or an L for an S. For in that case should I make a hail of fisticuffs to fly into his face. Look upon me, sir, both before and behind,— it is made after the manner of a toga, which was the ancient fashion of the Romans in time of peace. I took the mode, shape, and form thereof in Trajan’s Column at Rome, as also in the Triumphant34 Arch of Septimus Severus. I am tired of the wars, weary of wearing buff-coats, cassocks, and hoquetons. My shoulders are pitifully worn and bruised35 with the carrying of harness. Let armour36 cease, and the long robe bear sway! At least it must be so for the whole space of the succeeding year, if I be married; as yesterday, by the Mosaic37 law, you evidenced. In what concerneth the breeches, my great-aunt Laurence did long ago tell me, that the breeches were only ordained38 for the use of the codpiece, and to no other end; which I, upon a no less forcible consequence, give credit to every whit39, as well as to the saying of the fine fellow Galen, who in his ninth book, Of the Use and Employment of our Members, allegeth that the head was made for the eyes. For nature might have placed our heads in our knees or elbows, but having beforehand determined40 that the eyes should serve to discover things from afar, she for the better enabling them to execute their designed office, fixed41 them in the head, as on the top of a long pole, in the most eminent42 part of all the body — no otherwise than we see the phares, or high towers erected43 in the mouths of havens44, that navigators may the further off perceive with ease the lights of the nightly fires and lanterns. And because I would gladly, for some short while, a year at least, take a little rest and breathing time from the toilsome labour of the military profession, that is to say, be married, I have desisted from wearing any more a codpiece, and consequently have laid aside my breeches. For the codpiece is the principal and most especial piece of armour that a warrior45 doth carry; and therefore do I maintain even to the fire (exclusively, understand you me), that no Turks can properly be said to be armed men, in regard that codpieces are by their law forbidden to be worn.
1 flea | |
n.跳蚤 | |
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2 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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3 nuptials | |
n.婚礼;婚礼( nuptial的名词复数 ) | |
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4 fretted | |
焦躁的,附有弦马的,腐蚀的 | |
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5 tyrants | |
专制统治者( tyrant的名词复数 ); 暴君似的人; (古希腊的)僭主; 严酷的事物 | |
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6 itch | |
n.痒,渴望,疥癣;vi.发痒,渴望 | |
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7 boisterous | |
adj.喧闹的,欢闹的 | |
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8 joyful | |
adj.欢乐的,令人欢欣的 | |
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9 dangling | |
悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 ); 摆动不定; 用某事物诱惑…; 吊胃口 | |
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10 mingled | |
混合,混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 ); 混进,与…交往[联系] | |
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11 hue | |
n.色度;色调;样子 | |
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12 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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13 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
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14 imputed | |
v.把(错误等)归咎于( impute的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15 imposture | |
n.冒名顶替,欺骗 | |
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16 credulous | |
adj.轻信的,易信的 | |
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17 commendable | |
adj.值得称赞的 | |
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18 inclinations | |
倾向( inclination的名词复数 ); 倾斜; 爱好; 斜坡 | |
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19 equity | |
n.公正,公平,(无固定利息的)股票 | |
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20 corrupted | |
(使)败坏( corrupt的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)腐化; 引起(计算机文件等的)错误; 破坏 | |
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21 malice | |
n.恶意,怨恨,蓄意;[律]预谋 | |
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22 circumspectly | |
adv.慎重地,留心地 | |
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23 lust | |
n.性(淫)欲;渴(欲)望;vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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24 vehemently | |
adv. 热烈地 | |
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25 untying | |
untie的现在分词 | |
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26 tingle | |
vi.感到刺痛,感到激动;n.刺痛,激动 | |
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27 wriggle | |
v./n.蠕动,扭动;蜿蜒 | |
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28 provident | |
adj.为将来做准备的,有先见之明的 | |
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29 thrifty | |
adj.节俭的;兴旺的;健壮的 | |
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30 frugality | |
n.节约,节俭 | |
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31 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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32 wary | |
adj.谨慎的,机警的,小心的 | |
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33 treasurer | |
n.司库,财务主管 | |
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34 triumphant | |
adj.胜利的,成功的;狂欢的,喜悦的 | |
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35 bruised | |
[医]青肿的,瘀紫的 | |
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36 armour | |
(=armor)n.盔甲;装甲部队 | |
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37 mosaic | |
n./adj.镶嵌细工的,镶嵌工艺品的,嵌花式的 | |
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38 ordained | |
v.任命(某人)为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 );授予(某人)圣职;(上帝、法律等)命令;判定 | |
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39 whit | |
n.一点,丝毫 | |
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40 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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41 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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42 eminent | |
adj.显赫的,杰出的,有名的,优良的 | |
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43 ERECTED | |
adj. 直立的,竖立的,笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立,建立 | |
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44 havens | |
n.港口,安全地方( haven的名词复数 )v.港口,安全地方( haven的第三人称单数 ) | |
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45 warrior | |
n.勇士,武士,斗士 | |
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