How Pantagruel doth explore by the Virgilian lottery1 what fortune Panurge shall have in his marriage.
Then at the opening of the book in the sixteenth row of the lines of the disclosed page did Panurge encounter upon this following verse:
Nec Deus hunc mensa, Dea nec dignata cubili est.
The god him from his table banished2,
Nor would the goddess have him in her bed.
This response, quoth Pantagruel, maketh not very much for your benefit or advantage; for it plainly signifies and denoteth that your wife shall be a strumpet, and yourself by consequence a cuckold. The goddess, whom you shall not find propitious3 nor favourable4 unto you, is Minerva, a most redoubtable5 and dreadful virgin6, a powerful and fulminating goddess, an enemy to cuckolds and effeminate youngsters, to cuckold-makers and adulterers. The god is Jupiter, a terrible and thunder-striking god from heaven. And withal it is to be remarked, that, conform to the doctrine7 of the ancient Etrurians, the manubes, for so did they call the darting8 hurls9 or slinging10 casts of the Vulcanian thunderbolts, did only appertain to her and to Jupiter her father capital. This was verified in the conflagration11 of the ships of Ajax Oileus, nor doth this fulminating power belong to any other of the Olympic gods. Men, therefore, stand not in such fear of them. Moreover, I will tell you, and you may take it as extracted out of the profoundest mysteries of mythology12, that, when the giants had enterprised the waging of a war against the power of the celestial13 orbs14, the gods at first did laugh at those attempts, and scorned such despicable enemies, who were, in their conceit15, not strong enough to cope in feats16 of warfare17 with their pages; but when they saw by the gigantine labour the high hill Pelion set on lofty Ossa, and that the mount Olympus was made shake to be erected18 on the top of both, then was it that Jupiter held a parliament, or general convention, wherein it was unanimously resolved upon and condescended19 to by all the gods, that they should worthily20 and valiantly21 stand to their defence. And because they had often seen battles lost by the cumbersome22 lets and disturbing encumbrances23 of women confusedly huddled24 in amongst armies, it was at that time decreed and enacted25 that they should expel and drive out of heaven into Egypt and the confines of Nile that whole crew of goddesses, disguised in the shapes of weasels, polecats, bats, shrew-mice, ferrets, fulmarts, and other such like odd transformations26; only Minerva was reserved to participate with Jupiter in the horrific fulminating power, as being the goddess both of war and learning, of arts and arms, of counsel and despatch27 — a goddess armed from her birth, a goddess dreaded28 in heaven, in the air, by sea and land. By the belly29 of Saint Buff, quoth Panurge, should I be Vulcan, whom the poet blazons30? Nay31, I am neither a cripple, coiner of false money, nor smith, as he was. My wife possibly will be as comely32 and handsome as ever was his Venus, but not a whore like her, nor I a cuckold like him. The crook-legged slovenly33 slave made himself to be declared a cuckold by a definite sentence and judgment34, in the open view of all the gods. For this cause ought you to interpret the afore-mentioned verse quite contrary to what you have said. This lot importeth that my wife will be honest, virtuous35, chaste36, loyal, and faithful; not armed, surly, wayward, cross, giddy, humorous, heady, hairbrained, or extracted out of the brains, as was the goddess Pallas; nor shall this fair jolly Jupiter be my co-rival. He shall never dip his bread in my broth37, though we should sit together at one table.
Consider his exploits and gallant38 actions. He was the manifest ruffian, wencher, whoremonger, and most infamous39 cuckold-maker that ever breathed. He did always lecher it like a boar, and no wonder, for he was fostered by a sow in the Isle40 of Candia, if Agathocles the Babylonian be not a liar41, and more rammishly lascivious43 than a buck44; whence it is that he is said by others to have been suckled and fed with the milk of the Amalthaean goat. By the virtue45 of Acheron, he justled, bulled, and lastauriated in one day the third part of the world, beasts and people, floods and mountains; that was Europa. For this grand subagitatory achievement the Ammonians caused draw, delineate, and paint him in the figure and shape of a ram42 ramming46, and horned ram. But I know well enough how to shield and preserve myself from that horned champion. He will not, trust me, have to deal in my person with a sottish, dunsical Amphitryon, nor with a silly witless Argus, for all his hundred spectacles, nor yet with the cowardly meacock Acrisius, the simple goose-cap Lycus of Thebes, the doting47 blockhead Agenor, the phlegmatic48 pea-goose Aesop, rough-footed Lycaon, the luskish misshapen Corytus of Tuscany, nor with the large-backed and strong-reined Atlas49. Let him alter, change, transform, and metamorphose himself into a hundred various shapes and figures, into a swan, a bull, a satyr, a shower of gold, or into a cuckoo, as he did when he unmaidened his sister Juno; into an eagle, ram, or dove, as when he was enamoured of the virgin Phthia, who then dwelt in the Aegean territory; into fire, a serpent, yea, even into a flea50; into Epicurean and Democratical atoms, or, more Magistronostralistically, into those sly intentions of the mind, which in the schools are called second notions,— I’ll catch him in the nick, and take him napping. And would you know what I would do unto him? Even that which to his father Coelum Saturn51 did — Seneca foretold52 it of me, and Lactantius hath confirmed it — what the goddess Rhea did to Athis. I would make him two stone lighter53, rid him of his Cyprian cymbals54, and cut so close and neatly55 by the breech, that there shall not remain thereof so much as one —, so cleanly would I shave him, and disable him for ever from being Pope, for Testiculos non habet. Hold there, said Pantagruel; ho, soft and fair, my lad! Enough of that,— cast up, turn over the leaves, and try your fortune for the second time. Then did he fall upon this ensuing verse:
Membra quatit, gelidusque coit formidine sanguis.
His joints56 and members quake, he becomes pale,
And sudden fear doth his cold blood congeal57.
This importeth, quoth Pantagruel, that she will soundly bang your back and belly. Clean and quite contrary, answered Panurge; it is of me that he prognosticates, in saying that I will beat her like a tiger if she vex58 me. Sir Martin Wagstaff will perform that office, and in default of a cudgel, the devil gulp59 him, if I should not eat her up quick, as Candaul the Lydian king did his wife, whom he ravened60 and devoured61.
You are very stout62, says Pantagruel, and courageous63; Hercules himself durst hardly adventure to scuffle with you in this your raging fury. Nor is it strange; for the Jan is worth two, and two in fight against Hercules are too too strong. Am I a Jan? quoth Panurge. No, no, answered Pantagruel. My mind was only running upon the lurch64 and tricktrack. Thereafter did he hit, at the third opening of the book, upon this verse:
Foemineo praedae, et spoliorum ardebat amore.
After the spoil and pillage65, as in fire,
He burnt with a strong feminine desire.
This portendeth, quoth Pantagruel, that she will steal your goods, and rob you. Hence this, according to these three drawn66 lots, will be your future destiny, I clearly see it,— you will be a cuckold, you will be beaten, and you will be robbed. Nay, it is quite otherwise, quoth Panurge; for it is certain that this verse presageth that she will love me with a perfect liking67. Nor did the satyr-writing poet lie in proof hereof, when he affirmed that a woman, burning with extreme affection, takes sometimes pleasure to steal from her sweetheart. And what, I pray you? A glove, a point, or some such trifling68 toy of no importance, to make him keep a gentle kind of stirring in the research and quest thereof. In like manner, these small scolding debates and petty brabbling contentions69, which frequently we see spring up and for a certain space boil very hot betwixt a couple of high-spirited lovers, are nothing else you recreative diversions for their refreshment70, spurs to and incentives71 of a more fervent72 amity73 than ever. As, for example, we do sometimes see cutlers with hammers maul their finest whetstones, therewith to sharpen their iron tools the better. And therefore do I think that these three lots make much for my advantage; which, if not, I from their sentence totally appeal. There is no appellation74, quoth Pantagruel, from the decrees of fate or destiny, of lot or chance; as is recorded by our ancient lawyers, witness Baldus, Lib. ult. Cap. de Leg. The reason hereof is, Fortune doth not acknowledge a superior, to whom an appeal may be made from her or any of her substitutes. And in this case the pupil cannot be restored to his right in full, as openly by the said author is alleged75 in L. Ait Praetor, paragr. ult. ff. de minor76.
1 lottery | |
n.抽彩;碰运气的事,难于算计的事 | |
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2 banished | |
v.放逐,驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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3 propitious | |
adj.吉利的;顺利的 | |
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4 favourable | |
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
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5 redoubtable | |
adj.可敬的;可怕的 | |
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6 virgin | |
n.处女,未婚女子;adj.未经使用的;未经开发的 | |
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7 doctrine | |
n.教义;主义;学说 | |
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8 darting | |
v.投掷,投射( dart的现在分词 );向前冲,飞奔 | |
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9 hurls | |
v.猛投,用力掷( hurl的第三人称单数 );大声叫骂 | |
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10 slinging | |
抛( sling的现在分词 ); 吊挂; 遣送; 押往 | |
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11 conflagration | |
n.建筑物或森林大火 | |
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12 mythology | |
n.神话,神话学,神话集 | |
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13 celestial | |
adj.天体的;天上的 | |
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14 orbs | |
abbr.off-reservation boarding school 在校寄宿学校n.球,天体,圆形物( orb的名词复数 ) | |
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15 conceit | |
n.自负,自高自大 | |
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16 feats | |
功绩,伟业,技艺( feat的名词复数 ) | |
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17 warfare | |
n.战争(状态);斗争;冲突 | |
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18 ERECTED | |
adj. 直立的,竖立的,笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立,建立 | |
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19 condescended | |
屈尊,俯就( condescend的过去式和过去分词 ); 故意表示和蔼可亲 | |
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20 worthily | |
重要地,可敬地,正当地 | |
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21 valiantly | |
adv.勇敢地,英勇地;雄赳赳 | |
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22 cumbersome | |
adj.笨重的,不便携带的 | |
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23 encumbrances | |
n.负担( encumbrance的名词复数 );累赘;妨碍;阻碍 | |
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24 huddled | |
挤在一起(huddle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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25 enacted | |
制定(法律),通过(法案)( enact的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26 transformations | |
n.变化( transformation的名词复数 );转换;转换;变换 | |
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27 despatch | |
n./v.(dispatch)派遣;发送;n.急件;新闻报道 | |
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28 dreaded | |
adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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29 belly | |
n.肚子,腹部;(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分,膛 | |
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30 blazons | |
v.广布( blazon的第三人称单数 );宣布;夸示;装饰 | |
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31 nay | |
adv.不;n.反对票,投反对票者 | |
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32 comely | |
adj.漂亮的,合宜的 | |
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33 slovenly | |
adj.懒散的,不整齐的,邋遢的 | |
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34 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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35 virtuous | |
adj.有品德的,善良的,贞洁的,有效力的 | |
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36 chaste | |
adj.贞洁的;有道德的;善良的;简朴的 | |
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37 broth | |
n.原(汁)汤(鱼汤、肉汤、菜汤等) | |
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38 gallant | |
adj.英勇的,豪侠的;(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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39 infamous | |
adj.声名狼藉的,臭名昭著的,邪恶的 | |
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40 isle | |
n.小岛,岛 | |
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41 liar | |
n.说谎的人 | |
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42 ram | |
(random access memory)随机存取存储器 | |
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43 lascivious | |
adj.淫荡的,好色的 | |
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44 buck | |
n.雄鹿,雄兔;v.马离地跳跃 | |
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45 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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46 ramming | |
n.打结炉底v.夯实(土等)( ram的现在分词 );猛撞;猛压;反复灌输 | |
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47 doting | |
adj.溺爱的,宠爱的 | |
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48 phlegmatic | |
adj.冷静的,冷淡的,冷漠的,无活力的 | |
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49 atlas | |
n.地图册,图表集 | |
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50 flea | |
n.跳蚤 | |
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51 Saturn | |
n.农神,土星 | |
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52 foretold | |
v.预言,预示( foretell的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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53 lighter | |
n.打火机,点火器;驳船;v.用驳船运送;light的比较级 | |
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54 cymbals | |
pl.铙钹 | |
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55 neatly | |
adv.整洁地,干净地,灵巧地,熟练地 | |
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56 joints | |
接头( joint的名词复数 ); 关节; 公共场所(尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所) (非正式); 一块烤肉 (英式英语) | |
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57 congeal | |
v.凝结,凝固 | |
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58 vex | |
vt.使烦恼,使苦恼 | |
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59 gulp | |
vt.吞咽,大口地吸(气);vi.哽住;n.吞咽 | |
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60 ravened | |
v.掠夺(raven的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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61 devoured | |
吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 ); 耗尽; 津津有味地看; 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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63 courageous | |
adj.勇敢的,有胆量的 | |
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64 lurch | |
n.突然向前或旁边倒;v.蹒跚而行 | |
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65 pillage | |
v.抢劫;掠夺;n.抢劫,掠夺;掠夺物 | |
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66 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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67 liking | |
n.爱好;嗜好;喜欢 | |
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68 trifling | |
adj.微不足道的;没什么价值的 | |
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69 contentions | |
n.竞争( contention的名词复数 );争夺;争论;论点 | |
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70 refreshment | |
n.恢复,精神爽快,提神之事物;(复数)refreshments:点心,茶点 | |
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71 incentives | |
激励某人做某事的事物( incentive的名词复数 ); 刺激; 诱因; 动机 | |
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72 fervent | |
adj.热的,热烈的,热情的 | |
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73 amity | |
n.友好关系 | |
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74 appellation | |
n.名称,称呼 | |
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75 alleged | |
a.被指控的,嫌疑的 | |
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76 minor | |
adj.较小(少)的,较次要的;n.辅修学科;vi.辅修 | |
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