How Pantagruel and Panurge did diversely expound1 the verses of the Sibyl of Panzoust.
The leaves being thus collected and orderly disposed, Epistemon and Panurge returned to Pantagruel’s court, partly well pleased and other part discontented; glad for their being come back, and vexed2 for the trouble they had sustained by the way, which they found to be craggy, rugged3, stony4, rough, and ill-adjusted. They made an ample and full relation of their voyage unto Pantagruel, as likewise of the estate and condition of the sibyl. Then, having presented to him the leaves of the sycamore, they show him the short and twattle verses that were written in them. Pantagruel, having read and considered the whole sum and substance of the matter, fetched from his heart a deep and heavy sigh; then said to Panurge, You are now, forsooth, in a good taking, and have brought your hogs5 to a fine market. The prophecy of the sibyl doth explain and lay out before us the same very predictions which have been denoted, foretold6, and presaged7 to us by the decree of the Virgilian lots and the verdict of your own proper dreams, to wit, that you shall be very much disgraced, shamed, and discredited8 by your wife; for that she will make you a cuckold in prostituting herself to others, being big with child by another than you,— will steal from you a great deal of your goods, and will beat you, scratch and bruise9 you, even to plucking the skin in a part from off you,— will leave the print of her blows in some member of your body. You understand as much, answered Panurge, in the veritable interpretation10 and expounding11 of recent prophecies as a sow in the matter of spicery. Be not offended, sir, I beseech12 you, that I speak thus boldly; for I find myself a little in choler, and that not without cause, seeing it is the contrary that is true. Take heed13, and give attentive14 ear unto my words. The old wife said that, as the bean is not seen till first it be unhusked, and that its swad or hull15 be shelled and peeled from off it, so is it that my virtue16 and transcendent worth will never come by the mouth of fame to be blazed abroad proportionable to the height, extent, and measure of the excellency thereof, until preallably I get a wife and make the full half of a married couple. How many times have I heard you say that the function of a magistrate17, or office of dignity, discovereth the merits, parts, and endowments of the person so advanced and promoted, and what is in him. That is to say, we are then best able to judge aright of the deservings of a man when he is called to the management of affairs; for when before he lived in a private condition, we could have no more certain knowledge of him than of a bean within his husk. And thus stands the first article explained; otherwise, could you imagine that the good fame, repute, and estimation of an honest man should depend upon the tail of a whore?
Now to the meaning of the second article! My wife will be with child,— here lies the prime felicity of marriage,— but not of me. Copsody, that I do believe indeed! It will be of a pretty little infant. O how heartily18 I shall love it! I do already dote upon it; for it will be my dainty feedle-darling, my genteel dilly-minion. From thenceforth no vexation, care, or grief shall take such deep impression in my heart, how hugely great or vehement20 soever it otherwise appear, but that it shall evanish forthwith at the sight of that my future babe, and at the hearing of the chat and prating21 of its childish gibberish. And blessed be the old wife. By my truly, I have a mind to settle some good revenue or pension upon her out of the readiest increase of the lands of my Salmigondinois; not an inconstant and uncertain rent-seek, like that of witless, giddy-headed bachelors, but sure and fixed22, of the nature of the well-paid incomes of regenting doctors. If this interpretation doth not please you, think you my wife will bear me in her flanks, conceive with me, and be of me delivered, as women use in childbed to bring forth19 their young ones; so as that it may be said, Panurge is a second Bacchus, he hath been twice born; he is re-born, as was Hippolytus,— as was Proteus, one time of Thetis, and secondly24, of the mother of the philosopher Apollonius,— as were the two Palici, near the flood Simaethos in Sicily. His wife was big of child with him. In him is renewed and begun again the palintocy of the Megarians and the palingenesy of Democritus. Fie upon such errors! To hear stuff of that nature rends25 mine ears.
The words of the third article are: She will suck me at my best end. Why not? That pleaseth me right well. You know the thing; I need not tell you that it is my intercrural pudding with one end. I swear and promise that, in what I can, I will preserve it sappy, full of juice, and as well victualled for her use as may be. She shall not suck me, I believe, in vain, nor be destitute26 of her allowance; there shall her justum both in peck and lippy be furnished to the full eternally. You expound this passage allegorically, and interpret it to theft and larceny27. I love the exposition, and the allegory pleaseth me; but not according to the sense whereto you stretch it. It may be that the sincerity28 of the affection which you bear me moveth you to harbour in your breast those refractory29 thoughts concerning me, with a suspicion of my adversity to come. We have this saying from the learned, That a marvellously fearful thing is love, and that true love is never without fear. But, sir, according to my judgment30, you do understand both of and by yourself that here stealth signifieth nothing else, no more than in a thousand other places of Greek and Latin, old and modern writings, but the sweet fruits of amorous31 dalliance, which Venus liketh best when reaped in secret, and culled32 by fervent33 lovers filchingly. Why so, I prithee tell? Because, when the feat34 of the loose-coat skirmish happeneth to be done underhand and privily35, between two well-disposed, athwart the steps of a pair of stairs lurkingly, and in covert36 behind a suit of hangings, or close hid and trussed upon an unbound faggot, it is more pleasing to the Cyprian goddess, and to me also--I speak this without prejudice to any better or more sound opinion — than to perform that culbusting art after the Cynic manner, in the view of the clear sunshine, or in a rich tent, under a precious stately canopy37, within a glorious and sublime38 pavilion, or yet on a soft couch betwixt rich curtains of cloth of gold, without affrightment, at long intermediate respites39, enjoying of pleasures and delights a bellyfull, at all great ease, with a huge fly-flap fan of crimson40 satin and a bunch of feathers of some East-Indian ostrich41 serving to give chase unto the flies all round about; whilst, in the interim42, the female picks her teeth with a stiff straw picked even then from out of the bottom of the bed she lies on. If you be not content with this my exposition, are you of the mind that my wife will suck and sup me up as people use to gulp43 and swallow oysters44 out of the shell? or as the Cilician women, according to the testimony45 of Dioscorides, were wont46 to do the grain of alkermes? Assuredly that is an error. Who seizeth on it, doth neither gulch47 up nor swill48 down, but takes away what hath been packed up, catcheth, snatcheth, and plies49 the play of hey-pass, repass.
The fourth article doth imply that my wife will flay50 me, but not all. O the fine word! You interpret this to beating strokes and blows. Speak wisely. Will you eat a pudding? Sir, I beseech you to raise up your spirits above the low-sized pitch of earthly thoughts unto that height of sublime contemplation which reacheth to the apprehension51 of the mysteries and wonders of Dame52 Nature. And here be pleased to condemn53 yourself, by a renouncing54 of those errors which you have committed very grossly and somewhat perversely55 in expounding the prophetic sayings of the holy sibyl. Yet put the case (albeit I yield not to it) that, by the instigation of the devil, my wife should go about to wrong me, make me a cuckold downwards56 to the very breech, disgrace me otherwise, steal my goods from me, yea, and lay violently her hands upon me;— she nevertheless should fail of her attempts and not attain57 to the proposed end of her unreasonable58 undertakings59. The reason which induceth me hereto is grounded totally on this last point, which is extracted from the profoundest privacies of a monastic pantheology, as good Friar Arthur Wagtail told me once upon a Monday morning, as we were (if I have not forgot) eating a bushel of trotter-pies; and I remember well it rained hard. God give him the good morrow! The women at the beginning of the world, or a little after, conspired60 to flay the men quick, because they found the spirit of mankind inclined to domineer it, and bear rule over them upon the face of the whole earth; and, in pursuit of this their resolution, promised, confirmed, swore, and covenanted62 amongst them all, by the pure faith they owe to the nocturnal Sanct Rogero. But O the vain enterprises of women! O the great fragility of that sex feminine! They did begin to flay the man, or peel him (as says Catullus), at that member which of all the body they loved best, to wit, the nervous and cavernous cane63, and that above five thousand years ago; yet have they not of that small part alone flayed64 any more till this hour but the head. In mere65 despite whereof the Jews snip66 off that parcel of the skin in circumcision, choosing far rather to be called clipyards, rascals67, than to be flayed by women, as are other nations. My wife, according to this female covenant61, will flay it to me, if it be not so already. I heartily grant my consent thereto, but will not give her leave to flay it all. Nay68, truly will I not, my noble king.
Yea but, quoth Epistemon, you say nothing of her most dreadful cries and exclamations69 when she and we both saw the laurel-bough burn without yielding any noise or crackling. You know it is a very dismal70 omen23, an inauspicious sign, unlucky indice, and token formidable, bad, disastrous71, and most unhappy, as is certified72 by Propertius, Tibullus, the quick philosopher Porphyrius, Eustathius on the Iliads of Homer, and by many others. Verily, verily, quoth Panurge, brave are the allegations which you bring me, and testimonies73 of two-footed calves74. These men were fools, as they were poets; and dotards, as they were philosophers; full of folly75, as they were of philosophy.
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1
expound
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| v.详述；解释；阐述 | |
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vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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stony
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| adj.石头的，多石头的，冷酷的，无情的 | |
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hogs
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| n.（尤指喂肥供食用的）猪( hog的名词复数 )；（供食用的）阉公猪；彻底地做某事；自私的或贪婪的人 | |
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foretold
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| v.预言，预示( foretell的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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presaged
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| v.预示，预兆( presage的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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discredited
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| 不足信的，不名誉的 | |
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bruise
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| n.青肿，挫伤；伤痕；vt.打青；挫伤 | |
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interpretation
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| n.解释，说明，描述；艺术处理 | |
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expounding
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| 论述，详细讲解( expound的现在分词 ) | |
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beseech
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| v.祈求，恳求 | |
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heed
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| v.注意，留意；n.注意，留心 | |
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attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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hull
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| n.船身；(果、实等的)外壳；vt.去(谷物等)壳 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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magistrate
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| n.地方行政官，地方法官，治安官 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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vehement
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| adj.感情强烈的；热烈的；(人)有强烈感情的 | |
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prating
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| v.（古时用语）唠叨，啰唆( prate的现在分词 ) | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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omen
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| n.征兆，预兆；vt.预示 | |
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secondly
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| adv.第二，其次 | |
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rends
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| v.撕碎( rend的第三人称单数 )；分裂；（因愤怒、痛苦等而）揪扯（衣服或头发等）；（声音等）刺破 | |
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destitute
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| adj.缺乏的；穷困的 | |
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larceny
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| n.盗窃（罪） | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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refractory
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| adj.倔强的，难驾驭的 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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amorous
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| adj.多情的；有关爱情的 | |
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culled
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| v.挑选，剔除( cull的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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fervent
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| adj.热的，热烈的，热情的 | |
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feat
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| n.功绩；武艺，技艺；adj.灵巧的，漂亮的，合适的 | |
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privily
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| adv.暗中，秘密地 | |
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covert
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| adj.隐藏的；暗地里的 | |
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canopy
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| n.天篷，遮篷 | |
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sublime
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| adj.崇高的，伟大的；极度的，不顾后果的 | |
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respites
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| v.延期（respite的第三人称单数形式） | |
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40
crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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ostrich
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| n.鸵鸟 | |
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interim
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| adj.暂时的，临时的；n.间歇，过渡期间 | |
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43
gulp
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| vt.吞咽，大口地吸（气）；vi.哽住；n.吞咽 | |
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oysters
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| 牡蛎( oyster的名词复数 ) | |
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45
testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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46
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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47
gulch
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| n.深谷，峡谷 | |
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48
swill
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| v.冲洗；痛饮；n.泔脚饲料；猪食；（谈话或写作中的）无意义的话 | |
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49
plies
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| v.使用（工具）( ply的第三人称单数 )；经常供应（食物、饮料）；固定往来；经营生意 | |
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flay
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| vt.剥皮；痛骂 | |
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51
apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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dame
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| n.女士 | |
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53
condemn
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| vt.谴责，指责；宣判(罪犯)，判刑 | |
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54
renouncing
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| v.声明放弃( renounce的现在分词 )；宣布放弃；宣布与…决裂；宣布摒弃 | |
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perversely
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| adv. 倔强地 | |
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downwards
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| adj./adv.向下的（地），下行的（地） | |
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attain
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| vt.达到，获得，完成 | |
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unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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59
undertakings
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| 企业( undertaking的名词复数 )； 保证； 殡仪业； 任务 | |
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conspired
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| 密谋( conspire的过去式和过去分词 )； 搞阴谋； （事件等）巧合； 共同导致 | |
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covenant
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| n.盟约，契约；v.订盟约 | |
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covenanted
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| v.立约，立誓( covenant的过去分词 ) | |
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cane
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| n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的 | |
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flayed
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| v.痛打( flay的过去式和过去分词 )；把…打得皮开肉绽；剥（通常指动物）的皮；严厉批评 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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snip
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| n.便宜货，廉价货，剪，剪断 | |
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rascals
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| 流氓( rascal的名词复数 )； 无赖； （开玩笑说法）淘气的人（尤指小孩）； 恶作剧的人 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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exclamations
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| n.呼喊( exclamation的名词复数 )；感叹；感叹语；感叹词 | |
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dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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71
disastrous
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| adj.灾难性的，造成灾害的；极坏的，很糟的 | |
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certified
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| a.经证明合格的；具有证明文件的 | |
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testimonies
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| （法庭上证人的）证词( testimony的名词复数 )； 证明，证据 | |
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74
calves
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| n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子，腓；腿肚子( calf的名词复数 )；牛犊；腓；小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 )；（冰川）崩解；生（小牛等），产（犊）；使（冰川）崩解 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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