How Pantagruel praiseth the counsel of dumb men.
Pantagruel, when this discourse1 was ended, held for a pretty while his peace, seeming to be exceeding sad and pensive2, then said to Panurge, The malignant3 spirit misleads, beguileth, and seduceth you. I have read that in times past the surest and most veritable oracles4 were not those which either were delivered in writing or uttered by word of mouth in speaking. For many times, in their interpretation5, right witty6, learned, and ingenious men have been deceived through amphibologies, equivoques, and obscurity of words, no less than by the brevity of their sentences. For which cause Apollo, the god of vaticination, was surnamed (Greek). Those which were represented then by signs and outward gestures were accounted the truest and the most infallible. Such was the opinion of Heraclitus. And Jupiter did himself in this manner give forth7 in Ammon frequently predictions. Nor was he single in this practice; for Apollo did the like amongst the Assyrians. His prophesying8 thus unto those people moved them to paint him with a large long beard, and clothes beseeming an old settled person of a most posed, staid, and grave behaviour; not naked, young, and beardless, as he was portrayed9 most usually amongst the Grecians. Let us make trial of this kind of fatidicency; and go you take advice of some dumb person without any speaking. I am content, quoth Panurge. But, says Pantagruel, it were requisite10 that the dumb you consult with be such as have been deaf from the hour of their nativity, and consequently dumb; for none can be so lively, natural, and kindly11 dumb as he who never heard.
How is it, quoth Panurge, that you conceive this matter? If you apprehend12 it so, that never any spoke13 who had not before heard the speech of others, I will from that antecedent bring you to infer very logically a most absurd and paradoxical conclusion. But let it pass; I will not insist on it. You do not then believe what Herodotus wrote of two children, who, at the special command and appointment of Psammeticus, King of Egypt, having been kept in a petty country cottage, where they were nourished and entertained in a perpetual silence, did at last, after a certain long space of time, pronounce this word Bec, which in the Phrygian language signifieth bread. Nothing less, quoth Pantagruel, do I believe than that it is a mere14 abusing of our understandings to give credit to the words of those who say that there is any such thing as a natural language. All speeches have had their primary origin from the arbitrary institutions, accords, and agreements of nations in their respective condescendments to what should be noted15 and betokened16 by them. An articulate voice, according to the dialecticians, hath naturally no signification at all; for that the sense and meaning thereof did totally depend upon the good will and pleasure of the first deviser and imposer of it. I do not tell you this without a cause; for Bartholus, Lib. 5. de Verb. Oblig., very seriously reporteth that even in his time there was in Eugubia one named Sir Nello de Gabrielis, who, although he by a sad mischance became altogether deaf, understood nevertheless everyone that talked in the Italian dialect howsoever he expressed himself; and that only by looking on his external gestures, and casting an attentive18 eye upon the divers19 motions of his lips and chaps. I have read, I remember also, in a very literate20 and eloquent21 author, that Tyridates, King of Armenia, in the days of Nero, made a voyage to Rome, where he was received with great honour and solemnity, and with all manner of pomp and magnificence. Yea, to the end there might be a sempiternal amity22 and correspondence preserved betwixt him and the Roman senate, there was no remarkable23 thing in the whole city which was not shown unto him. At his departure the emperor bestowed24 upon him many ample donatives of an inestimable value; and besides, the more entirely25 to testify his affection towards him, heartily26 entreated27 him to be pleased to make choice of any whatsoever28 thing in Rome was most agreeable to his fancy, with a promise juramentally confirmed that he should not be refused of his demand. Thereupon, after a suitable return of thanks for a so gracious offer, he required a certain Jack-pudding whom he had seen to act his part most egregiously29 upon the stage, and whose meaning, albeit30 he knew not what it was he had spoken, he understood perfectly31 enough by the signs and gesticulations which he had made. And for this suit of his, in that he asked nothing else, he gave this reason, that in the several wide and spacious32 dominions33 which were reduced under the sway and authority of his sovereign government, there were sundry34 countries and nations much differing from one another in language, with whom, whether he was to speak unto them or give any answer to their requests, he was always necessitated35 to make use of divers sorts of truchman and interpreters. Now with this man alone, sufficient for supplying all their places, will that great inconveniency hereafter be totally removed; seeing he is such a fine gesticulator, and in the practice of chirology an artist so complete, expert, and dexterous36, that with his very fingers he doth speak. Howsoever, you are to pitch upon such a dumb one as is deaf by nature and from his birth; to the end that his gestures and signs may be the more vively and truly prophetic, and not counterfeit37 by the intermixture of some adulterate lustre38 and affectation. Yet whether this dumb person shall be of the male or female sex is in your option, lieth at your discretion39, and altogether dependeth on your own election.
I would more willingly, quoth Panurge, consult with and be advised by a dumb woman, were it not that I am afraid of two things. The first is, that the greater part of women, whatever be that they see, do always represent unto their fancies, think, and imagine, that it hath some relation to the sugared entering of the goodly ithyphallos, and graffing in the cleft40 of the overturned tree the quickset imp17 of the pin of copulation. Whatever signs, shows, or gestures we shall make, or whatever our behaviour, carriage, or demeanour shall happen to be in their view and presence, they will interpret the whole in reference to the act of androgynation and the culbutizing exercise, by which means we shall be abusively disappointed of our designs, in regard that she will take all our signs for nothing else but tokens and representations of our desire to entice41 her unto the lists of a Cyprian combat or catsenconny skirmish. Do you remember what happened at Rome two hundred and threescore years after the foundation thereof? A young Roman gentleman encountering by chance, at the foot of Mount Celion, with a beautiful Latin lady named Verona, who from her very cradle upwards42 had always been both deaf and dumb, very civilly asked her, not without a chironomatic Italianizing of his demand, with various jectigation of his fingers and other gesticulations as yet customary amongst the speakers of that country, what senators in her descent from the top of the hill she had met with going up thither43. For you are to conceive that he, knowing no more of her deafness than dumbness, was ignorant of both. She in the meantime, who neither heard nor understood so much as one word of what he had said, straight imagined, by all that she could apprehend in the lovely gesture of his manual signs, that what he then required of her was what herself had a great mind to, even that which a young man doth naturally desire of a woman. Then was it that by signs, which in all occurrences of venereal love are incomparably more attractive, valid44, and efficacious than words, she beckoned45 to him to come along with her to her house; which when he had done, she drew him aside to a privy46 room, and then made a most lively alluring47 sign unto him to show that the game did please her. Whereupon, without any more advertisement, or so much as the uttering of one word on either side, they fell to and bringuardized it lustily.
The other cause of my being averse48 from consulting with dumb women is, that to our signs they would make no answer at all, but suddenly fall backwards49 in a divarication posture50, to intimate thereby51 unto us the reality of their consent to the supposed motion of our tacit demands. Or if they should chance to make any countersigns52 responsory to our propositions, they would prove so foolish, impertinent, and ridiculous, that by them ourselves should easily judge their thoughts to have no excursion beyond the duffling academy. You know very well how at Brignoles, when the religious nun53, Sister Fatbum, was made big with child by the young Stiffly-stand-to’t, her pregnancy54 came to be known, and she cited by the abbess, and, in a full convention of the convent, accused of incest. Her excuse was that she did not consent thereto, but that it was done by the violence and impetuous force of the Friar Stiffly-stand-to’t. Hereto the abbess very austerely55 replying, Thou naughty wicked girl, why didst thou not cry, A rape56, a rape! then should all of us have run to thy succour. Her answer was that the rape was committed in the dortour, where she durst not cry because it was a place of sempiternal silence. But, quoth the abbess, thou roguish wench, why didst not thou then make some sign to those that were in the next chamber57 beside thee? To this she answered that with her buttocks she made a sign unto them as vigorously as she could, yet never one of them did so much as offer to come to her help and assistance. But, quoth the abbess, thou scurvy58 baggage, why didst thou not tell it me immediately after the perpetration of the fact, that so we might orderly, regularly, and canonically59 have accused him? I would have done so, had the case been mine, for the clearer manifestation60 of mine innocency61. I truly, madam, would have done the like with all my heart and soul, quoth Sister Fatbum, but that fearing I should remain in sin, and in the hazard of eternal damnation, if prevented by a sudden death, I did confess myself to the father friar before he went out of the room, who, for my penance62, enjoined63 me not to tell it, or reveal the matter unto any. It were a most enormous and horrid64 offence, detestable before God and the angels, to reveal a confession65. Such an abominable66 wickedness would have possibly brought down fire from heaven, wherewith to have burnt the whole nunnery, and sent us all headlong to the bottomless pit, to bear company with Korah, Dathan, and Abiram.
You will not, quoth Pantagruel, with all your jesting, make me laugh. I know that all the monks67, friars, and nuns68 had rather violate and infringe69 the highest of the commandments of God than break the least of their provincial70 statutes71. Take you therefore Goatsnose, a man very fit for your present purpose; for he is, and hath been, both dumb and deaf from the very remotest infancy72 of his childhood.
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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pensive
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| a.沉思的,哀思的,忧沉的 | |
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malignant
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| adj.恶性的，致命的；恶意的，恶毒的 | |
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oracles
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| 神示所( oracle的名词复数 )； 神谕； 圣贤； 哲人 | |
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interpretation
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| n.解释，说明，描述；艺术处理 | |
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witty
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| adj.机智的，风趣的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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prophesying
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| v.预告，预言( prophesy的现在分词 ) | |
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portrayed
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| v.画像( portray的过去式和过去分词 )；描述；描绘；描画 | |
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requisite
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| adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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apprehend
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| vt.理解，领悟，逮捕，拘捕，忧虑 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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betokened
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| v.预示，表示( betoken的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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imp
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| n.顽童 | |
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attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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literate
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| n.学者；adj.精通文学的，受过教育的 | |
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eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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amity
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| n.友好关系 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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whatsoever
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| adv.（用于否定句中以加强语气）任何；pron.无论什么 | |
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egregiously
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| adv.过份地，卓越地 | |
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albeit
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| conj.即使；纵使；虽然 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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dominions
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| 统治权( dominion的名词复数 )； 领土； 疆土； 版图 | |
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sundry
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| adj.各式各样的，种种的 | |
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necessitated
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| 使…成为必要，需要( necessitate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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dexterous
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| adj.灵敏的；灵巧的 | |
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counterfeit
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| vt.伪造，仿造；adj.伪造的，假冒的 | |
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lustre
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| n.光亮，光泽；荣誉 | |
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discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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cleft
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| n.裂缝；adj.裂开的 | |
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entice
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| v.诱骗，引诱，怂恿 | |
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upwards
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| adv.向上，在更高处...以上 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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valid
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| adj.有确实根据的；有效的；正当的，合法的 | |
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45
beckoned
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| v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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privy
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| adj.私用的；隐密的 | |
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alluring
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| adj.吸引人的，迷人的 | |
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48
averse
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| adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的 | |
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backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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52
countersigns
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| v.连署，副署，会签 （文件）( countersign的第三人称单数 ) | |
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nun
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| n.修女，尼姑 | |
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pregnancy
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| n.怀孕，怀孕期 | |
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austerely
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| adv.严格地，朴质地 | |
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rape
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| n.抢夺，掠夺，强奸；vt.掠夺，抢夺，强奸 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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scurvy
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| adj.下流的，卑鄙的，无礼的；n.坏血病 | |
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canonically
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| adv.照宗规地，宗规上地 | |
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60
manifestation
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| n.表现形式；表明；现象 | |
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innocency
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| 无罪，洁白 | |
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penance
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| n.（赎罪的）惩罪 | |
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enjoined
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| v.命令( enjoin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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abominable
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| adj.可厌的，令人憎恶的 | |
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monks
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| n.修道士，僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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nuns
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| n.（通常指基督教的）修女， （佛教的）尼姑( nun的名词复数 ) | |
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infringe
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| v.违反，触犯，侵害 | |
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provincial
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| adj.省的，地方的；n．外省人，乡下人 | |
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statutes
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| 成文法( statute的名词复数 )； 法令； 法规； 章程 | |
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infancy
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| n.婴儿期；幼年期；初期 | |
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