How a junior devil was fooled by a husbandman of Pope-Figland.
In the middle of July the devil came to the place aforesaid with all his crew at his heels, a whole choir1 of the younger fry of hell; and having met the farmer, said to him, Well, clodpate, how hast thou done since I went? Thou and I must share the concern. Ay, master devil, quoth the clown; it is but reason we should. Then he and his men began to cut and reap the corn; and, on the other side, the devil’s imps2 fell to work, grubbing up and pulling out the stubble by the root.
The countryman had his corn thrashed, winnowed3 it, put in into sacks, and went with it to market. The same did the devil’s servants, and sat them down there by the man to sell their straw. The countryman sold off his corn at a good rate, and with the money filled an old kind of a demi-buskin which was fastened to his girdle. But the devil a sou the devils took; far from taking handsel, they were flouted4 and jeered5 by the country louts.
Market being over, quoth the devil to the farmer, Well, clown, thou hast choused me once, it is thy fault; chouse me twice, ’twill be mine. Nay6, good sir devil, replied the farmer; how can I be said to have choused you, since it was your worship that chose first? The truth is, that by this trick you thought to cheat me, hoping that nothing would spring out of the earth for my share, and that you should find whole underground the corn which I had sowed, and with it tempt7 the poor and needy8, the close hypocrite, or the covetous9 griper; thus making them fall into your snares10. But troth, you must e’en go to school yet; you are no conjurer, for aught I see; for the corn that was sow’d is dead and rotten, its corruption11 having caused the generation of that which you saw me sell. So you chose the worst, and therefore are cursed in the gospel. Well, talk no more of it, quoth the devil; what canst thou sow our field with for next year? If a man would make the best of it, answered the ploughman, ’twere fit he sow it with radish. Now, cried the devil, thou talkest like an honest fellow, bumpkin. Well, sow me good store of radish, I’ll see and keep them safe from storms, and will not hail a bit on them. But hark ye me, this time I bespeak12 for my share what shall be above ground; what’s under shall be thine. Drudge13 on, looby, drudge on. I am going to tempt heretics; their souls are dainty victuals14 when broiled15 in rashers and well powdered. My Lord Lucifer has the griping in the guts16; they’ll make a dainty warm dish for his honour’s maw.
When the season of radishes was come, our devil failed not to meet in the field, with a train of rascally17 underlings, all waiting devils, and finding there the farmer and his men, he began to cut and gather the leaves of the radishes. After him the farmer with his spade dug up the radishes, and clapped them up into pouches18. This done, the devil, the farmer, and their gangs, hied them to market, and there the farmer presently made good money of his radishes; but the poor devil took nothing; nay, what was worse, he was made a common laughing-stock by the gaping19 hoidens. I see thou hast played me a scurvy20 trick, thou villainous fellow, cried the angry devil; at last I am fully21 resolved even to make an end of the business betwixt thee and myself about the ground, and these shall be the terms: we will clapperclaw each other, and whoever of us two shall first cry Hold, shall quit his share of the field, which shall wholly belong to the conqueror22. I fix the time for this trial of skill on this day seven-night; assure thyself that I’ll claw thee off like a devil. I was going to tempt your fornicators, bailiffs, perplexers of causes, scriveners, forgers of deeds, two-handed counsellors, prevaricating23 solicitors24, and other such vermin; but they were so civil as to send me word by an interpreter that they are all mine already. Besides, our master Lucifer is so cloyed25 with their souls that he often sends them back to the smutty scullions and slovenly26 devils of his kitchen, and they scarce go down with them, unless now and then, when they are high-seasoned.
Some say there is no breakfast like a student’s, no dinner like a lawyer’s, no afternoon’s nunchion like a vine-dresser’s, no supper like a tradesman’s, no second supper like a serving-wench’s, and none of these meals equal to a frockified hobgoblin’s. All this is true enough. Accordingly, at my Lord Lucifer’s first course, hobgoblins, alias27 imps in cowls, are a standing28 dish. He willingly used to breakfast on students; but, alas29! I do not know by what ill luck they have of late years joined the Holy Bible to their studies; so the devil a one we can get down among us; and I verily believe that unless the hypocrites of the tribe of Levi help us in it, taking from the enlightened book-mongers their St. Paul, either by threats, revilings, force, violence, fire, and faggot, we shall not be able to hook in any more of them to nibble30 at below. He dines commonly on counsellors, mischief-mongers, multipliers of lawsuits31, such as wrest32 and pervert33 right and law and grind and fleece the poor; he never fears to want any of these. But who can endure to be wedded34 to a dish?
He said t’other day, at a full chapter, that he had a great mind to eat the soul of one of the fraternity of the cowl that had forgot to speak for himself in his sermon, and he promised double pay and a large pension to anyone that should bring him such a titbit piping hot. We all went a-hunting after such a rarity, but came home without the prey35; for they all admonish36 the good women to remember their convent. As for afternoon nunchions, he has left them off since he was so woefully griped with the colic; his fosterers, sutlers, charcoal-men, and boiling cooks having been sadly mauled and peppered off in the northern countries.
His high devilship sups very well on tradesmen, usurers, apothecaries37, cheats, coiners, and adulterers of wares38. Now and then, when he is on the merry pin, his second supper is of serving-wenches who, after they have by stealth soaked their faces with their master’s good liquor, fill up the vessel39 with it at second hand, or with other stinking40 water.
Well, drudge on, boor41, drudge on; I am going to tempt the students of Trebisonde to leave father and mother, forego for ever the established and common rule of living, disclaim42 and free themselves from obeying their lawful43 sovereign’s edicts, live in absolute liberty, proudly despise everyone, laugh at all mankind, and taking the fine jovial44 little cap of poetic45 licence, become so many pretty hobgoblins.
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1
choir
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| n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱 | |
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imps
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| n.（故事中的）小恶魔( imp的名词复数 )；小魔鬼；小淘气；顽童 | |
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3
winnowed
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| adj.扬净的，风选的v.扬( winnow的过去式和过去分词 )；辨别；选择；除去 | |
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flouted
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| v.藐视，轻视( flout的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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jeered
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| v.嘲笑( jeer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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6
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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7
tempt
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| vt.引诱，勾引，吸引，引起…的兴趣 | |
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needy
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| adj.贫穷的，贫困的，生活艰苦的 | |
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9
covetous
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| adj.贪婪的，贪心的 | |
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10
snares
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| n.陷阱( snare的名词复数 )；圈套；诱人遭受失败（丢脸、损失等）的东西；诱惑物v.用罗网捕捉，诱陷，陷害( snare的第三人称单数 ) | |
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corruption
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| n.腐败，堕落，贪污 | |
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12
bespeak
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| v.预定；预先请求 | |
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13
drudge
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| n.劳碌的人；v.做苦工，操劳 | |
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14
victuals
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| n.食物；食品 | |
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15
broiled
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| a.烤过的 | |
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guts
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| v.狼吞虎咽，贪婪地吃，飞碟游戏（比赛双方每组5人，相距15码，互相掷接飞碟）；毁坏（建筑物等）的内部( gut的第三人称单数 )；取出…的内脏n.勇气( gut的名词复数 )；内脏；消化道的下段；肠 | |
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rascally
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| adj. 无赖的，恶棍的 adv. 无赖地，卑鄙地 | |
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pouches
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| n.（放在衣袋里或连在腰带上的）小袋( pouch的名词复数 )；（袋鼠等的）育儿袋；邮袋；（某些动物贮存食物的）颊袋 | |
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19
gaping
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| adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大 | |
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20
scurvy
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| adj.下流的，卑鄙的，无礼的；n.坏血病 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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conqueror
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| n.征服者，胜利者 | |
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prevaricating
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| v.支吾( prevaricate的现在分词 )；搪塞；说谎 | |
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24
solicitors
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| 初级律师( solicitor的名词复数 ) | |
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25
cloyed
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| v.发腻，倒胃口( cloy的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26
slovenly
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| adj.懒散的，不整齐的，邋遢的 | |
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alias
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| n.化名；别名；adv.又名 | |
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28
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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29
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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30
nibble
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| n.轻咬，啃；v.一点点地咬，慢慢啃，吹毛求疵 | |
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lawsuits
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| n.诉讼( lawsuit的名词复数 ) | |
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32
wrest
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| n.扭，拧，猛夺；v.夺取，猛扭，歪曲 | |
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pervert
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| n.堕落者，反常者；vt.误用，滥用；使人堕落，使入邪路 | |
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wedded
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| adj.正式结婚的；渴望…的，执著于…的v.嫁，娶，（与…）结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35
prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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36
admonish
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| v.训戒；警告；劝告 | |
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37
apothecaries
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| n.药剂师，药店( apothecary的名词复数 ) | |
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wares
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| n. 货物, 商品 | |
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39
vessel
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| n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管 | |
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40
stinking
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| adj.臭的，烂醉的，讨厌的v.散发出恶臭( stink的现在分词 )；发臭味；名声臭；糟透 | |
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41
boor
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| n.举止粗野的人；乡下佬 | |
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42
disclaim
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| v.放弃权利，拒绝承认 | |
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43
lawful
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| adj.法律许可的，守法的，合法的 | |
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44
jovial
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| adj.快乐的，好交际的 | |
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45
poetic
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| adj.富有诗意的，有诗人气质的，善于抒情的 | |
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