How Panurge related to Master Aedituus the fable1 of the horse and the ass2.
When we had crammed3 and crammed again, Aedituus took us into a chamber4 that was well furnished, hung with tapestry5, and finely gilt6. Thither7 he caused to be brought store of mirobolans, cashou, green ginger8 preserved, with plenty of hippocras, and delicious wine. With those antidotes9, that were like a sweet Lethe, he invited us to forget the hardships of our voyage; and at the same time he sent plenty of provisions on board our ship that rid in the harbour. After this, we e’en jogged to bed for that night; but the devil a bit poor pilgarlic could sleep one wink10 — the everlasting11 jingle-jangle of the bells kept me awake whether I would or no.
About midnight Aedituus came to wake us that we might drink. He himself showed us the way, saying: You men of t’other world say that ignorance is the mother of all evil, and so far you are right; yet for all that you do not take the least care to get rid of it, but still plod13 on, and live in it, with it, and by it; for which a plaguy deal of mischief14 lights on you every day, and you are right enough served — you are perpetually ailing15 somewhat, making a moan, and never right. It is what I was ruminating16 upon just now. And, indeed, ignorance keeps you here fastened in bed, just as that bully-rock Mars was detained by Vulcan’s art; for all the while you do not mind that you ought to spare some of your rest, and be as lavish17 as you can of the goods of this famous island. Come, come, you should have eaten three breakfasts already; and take this from me for a certain truth, that if you would consume the mouth-ammunition of this island, you must rise betimes; eat them, they multiply; spare them, they diminish.
For example, mow18 a field in due season, and the grass will grow thicker and better; don’t mow it, and in a short time ’twill be floored with moss19. Let’s drink, and drink again, my friends; come, let’s all carouse20 it. The leanest of our birds are now singing to us all; we’ll drink to them, if you please. Let’s take off one, two, three, nine bumpers21. Non zelus, sed caritas.
When day, peeping in the east, made the sky turn from black to red like a boiling lobster22, he waked us again to take a dish of monastical brewis. From that time we made but one meal, that only lasted the whole day; so that I cannot well tell how I may call it, whether dinner, supper, nunchion, or after-supper; only, to get a stomach, we took a turn or two in the island, to see and hear the blessed singing-birds.
At night Panurge said to Aedituus: Give me leave, sweet sir, to tell you a merry story of something that happened some three and twenty moons ago in the country of Chastelleraud.
One day in April, a certain gentleman’s groom23, Roger by name, was walking his master’s horses in some fallow ground. There ’twas his good fortune to find a pretty shepherdess feeding her bleating24 sheep and harmless lambkins on the brow of a neighbouring mountain, in the shade of an adjacent grove25; near her, some frisking kids tripped it over a green carpet of nature’s own spreading, and, to complete the landscape, there stood an ass. Roger, who was a wag, had a dish of chat with her, and after some ifs, ands, and buts, hems26 and heighs on her side, got her in the mind to get up behind him, to go and see his stable, and there take a bit by the bye in a civil way. While they were holding a parley27, the horse, directing his discourse28 to the ass (for all brute30 beasts spoke31 that year in divers32 places), whispered these words in his ear: Poor ass, how I pity thee! thou slavest like any hack33, I read it on thy crupper. Thou dost well, however, since God has created thee to serve mankind; thou art a very honest ass, but not to be better rubbed down, currycombed, trapped, and fed than thou art, seems to me indeed to be too hard a lot. Alas34! thou art all rough-coated, in ill plight35, jaded36, foundered37, crestfallen38, and drooping39, like a mooting40 duck, and feedest here on nothing but coarse grass, or briars and thistles. Therefore do but pace it along with me, and thou shalt see how we noble steeds, made by nature for war, are treated. Come, thou’lt lose nothing by coming; I’ll get thee a taste of my fare. I’ troth, sir, I can but love you and thank you, returned the ass; I’ll wait on you, good Mr. Steed. Methinks, gaffer ass, you might as well have said Sir Grandpaw Steed. O! cry mercy, good Sir Grandpaw, returned the ass; we country clowns are somewhat gross, and apt to knock words out of joint41. However, an’t please you, I will come after your worship at some distance, lest for taking this run my side should chance to be firked and curried42 with a vengeance43, as it is but too often, the more is my sorrow.
The shepherdess being got behind Roger, the ass followed, fully44 resolved to bait like a prince with Roger’s steed; but when they got to the stable, the groom, who spied the grave animal, ordered one of his underlings to welcome him with a pitchfork and currycomb him with a cudgel. The ass, who heard this, recommended himself mentally to the god Neptune45, and was packing off, thinking and syllogizing within himself thus: Had not I been an ass, I had not come here among great lords, when I must needs be sensible that I was only made for the use of the small vulgar. Aesop had given me a fair warning of this in one of his fables46. Well, I must e’en scamper47 or take what follows. With this he fell a-trotting, and wincing48, and yerking, and calcitrating, alias49 kicking, and farting, and funking, and curvetting, and bounding, and springing, and galloping50 full drive, as if the devil had come for him in propria persona.
The shepherdess, who saw her ass scour29 off, told Roger that it was her cattle, and desired he might be kindly51 used, or else she would not stir her foot over the threshold. Friend Roger no sooner knew this but he ordered him to be fetched in, and that my master’s horses should rather chop straw for a week together than my mistress’s beast should want his bellyful of corn.
The most difficult point was to get him back; for in vain the youngsters complimented and coaxed52 him to come. I dare not, said the ass; I am bashful. And the more they strove by fair means to bring him with them, the more the stubborn thing was untoward53, and flew out at the heels; insomuch that they might have been there to this hour, had not his mistress advised them to toss oats in a sieve54 or in a blanket, and call him; which was done, and made him wheel about and say, Oats, with a witness! oats shall go to pot. Adveniat; oats will do, there’s evidence in the case; but none of the rubbing down, none of the firking. Thus melodiously55 singing (for, as you know, that Arcadian bird’s note is very harmonious) he came to the young gentleman of the horse, alias black garb56, who brought him to the stable.
When he was there, they placed him next to the great horse his friend, rubbed him down, currycombed him, laid clean straw under him up to the chin, and there he lay at rack and manger, the first stuffed with sweet hay, the latter with oats; which when the horse’s valet-dear-chambre sifted57, he clapped down his lugs58, to tell them by signs that he could eat it but too well without sifting59, and that he did not deserve so great an honour.
When they had well fed, quoth the horse to the ass; Well, poor ass, how is it with thee now? How dost thou like this fare? Thou wert so nice at first, a body had much ado to get thee hither. By the fig60, answered the ass, which, one of our ancestors eating, Philemon died laughing, this is all sheer ambrosia61, good Sir Grandpaw; but what would you have an ass say? Methinks all this is yet but half cheer. Don’t your worships here now and then use to take a leap? What leaping dost thou mean? asked the horse; the devil leap thee! dost thou take me for an ass? In troth, Sir Grandpaw, quoth the ass, I am somewhat of a blockhead, you know, and cannot, for the heart’s blood of me, learn so fast the court way of speaking of you gentlemen horses; I mean, don’t you stallionize it sometimes here among your mettled fillies? Tush, whispered the horse, speak lower; for, by Bucephalus, if the grooms62 but hear thee they will maul and belam thee thrice and threefold, so that thou wilt63 have but little stomach to a leaping bout12. Cod64 so, man, we dare not so much as grow stiff at the tip of the lowermost snout, though it were but to leak or so, for fear of being jerked and paid out of our lechery65. As for anything else, we are as happy as our master, and perhaps more. By this packsaddle, my old acquaintance, quoth the ass, I have done with you; a fart for thy litter and hay, and a fart for thy oats; give me the thistles of our fields, since there we leap when we list. Eat less, and leap more, I say; it is meat, drink, and cloth to us. Ah! friend Grandpaw, it would do thy heart good to see us at a fair, when we hold our provincial66 chapter! Oh! how we leap it, while our mistresses are selling their goslings and other poultry67! With this they parted. Dixi; I have done.
Panurge then held his peace. Pantagruel would have had him to have gone on to the end of the chapter; but Aedituus said, A word to the wise is enough; I can pick out the meaning of that fable, and know who is that ass, and who the horse; but you are a bashful youth, I perceive. Well, know that there’s nothing for you here; scatter68 no words. Yet, returned Panurge, I saw but even now a pretty kind of a cooing abbess-kite as white as a dove, and her I had rather ride than lead. May I never stir if she is not a dainty bit, and very well worth a sin or two. Heaven forgive me! I meant no more harm in it than you; may the harm I meant in it befall me presently.
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1
fable
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| n.寓言；童话；神话 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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crammed
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| adj.塞满的，挤满的；大口地吃；快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满；填入；临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式) | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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tapestry
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| n.挂毯，丰富多采的画面 | |
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gilt
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| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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ginger
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| n.姜，精力，淡赤黄色；adj.淡赤黄色的；vt.使活泼，使有生气 | |
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antidotes
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| 解药( antidote的名词复数 )； 解毒剂； 对抗手段； 除害物 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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bout
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| n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛 | |
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plod
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| v.沉重缓慢地走，孜孜地工作 | |
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mischief
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| n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹 | |
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ailing
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| v.生病 | |
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ruminating
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| v.沉思( ruminate的现在分词 )；反复考虑；反刍；倒嚼 | |
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lavish
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| adj.无节制的；浪费的；vt.慷慨地给予，挥霍 | |
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mow
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| v.割（草、麦等），扫射，皱眉；n.草堆，谷物堆 | |
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moss
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| n.苔，藓，地衣 | |
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carouse
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| v.狂欢；痛饮；n.狂饮的宴会 | |
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bumpers
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| （汽车上的）保险杠，缓冲器( bumper的名词复数 ) | |
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lobster
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| n.龙虾，龙虾肉 | |
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groom
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| vt.给（马、狗等）梳毛，照料，使...整洁 | |
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bleating
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| v.（羊，小牛）叫( bleat的现在分词 )；哭诉；发出羊叫似的声音；轻声诉说 | |
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grove
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| n.林子，小树林，园林 | |
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hems
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| 布的褶边，贴边( hem的名词复数 )； 短促的咳嗽 | |
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parley
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| n.谈判 | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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scour
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| v.搜索；擦，洗，腹泻，冲刷 | |
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brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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divers
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| adj.不同的；种种的 | |
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hack
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| n.劈，砍，出租马车；v.劈，砍，干咳 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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plight
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| n.困境，境况，誓约，艰难；vt.宣誓，保证，约定 | |
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jaded
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| adj.精疲力竭的；厌倦的；（因过饱或过多而）腻烦的；迟钝的 | |
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foundered
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| v.创始人( founder的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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crestfallen
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| adj. 挫败的，失望的，沮丧的 | |
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drooping
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| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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mooting
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| v.提出…供讨论( moot的现在分词 ) | |
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joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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curried
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| adj.加了咖喱（或咖喱粉的），用咖哩粉调理的 | |
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vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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45
Neptune
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| n.海王星 | |
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46
fables
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| n.寓言( fable的名词复数 )；神话，传说 | |
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scamper
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| v.奔跑，快跑 | |
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48
wincing
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| 赶紧避开，畏缩( wince的现在分词 ) | |
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alias
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| n.化名；别名；adv.又名 | |
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galloping
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| adj. 飞驰的, 急性的 动词gallop的现在分词形式 | |
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51
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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52
coaxed
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| v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的过去式和过去分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱 | |
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untoward
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| adj.不利的，不幸的，困难重重的 | |
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54
sieve
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| n.筛，滤器，漏勺 | |
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melodiously
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garb
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| n.服装，装束 | |
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sifted
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| v.筛( sift的过去式和过去分词 )；筛滤；细查；详审 | |
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lugs
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| 钎柄 | |
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sifting
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| n.筛，过滤v.筛( sift的现在分词 )；筛滤；细查；详审 | |
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fig
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| n.无花果(树) | |
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ambrosia
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| n.神的食物；蜂食 | |
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grooms
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| n.新郎( groom的名词复数 )；马夫v.照料或梳洗（马等）( groom的第三人称单数 )；使做好准备；训练；（给动物）擦洗 | |
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wilt
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| v.(使)植物凋谢或枯萎；(指人)疲倦，衰弱 | |
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cod
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| n.鳕鱼；v.愚弄；哄骗 | |
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lechery
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| n.好色；淫荡 | |
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provincial
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| adj.省的，地方的；n．外省人，乡下人 | |
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poultry
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| n.家禽，禽肉 | |
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scatter
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| vt.撒，驱散，散开；散布/播；vi.分散，消散 | |
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