How we passed through the wicket inhabited by Gripe-men-all, Archduke of the Furred Law-cats.
From thence Condemnation1 was passed by us. ’Tis another damned barren island, whereat none for the world cared to touch. Then we went through the wicket; but Pantagruel had no mind to bear us company, and ’twas well he did not, for we were nabbed there, and clapped into lob’s-pound by order of Gripe-men-all, Archduke of the Furred Law-cats, because one of our company would ha’ put upon a sergeant2 some hats of the Sharping Island.
The Furred Law-cats are most terrible and dreadful monsters, they devour3 little children, and trample4 over marble stones. Pray tell me, noble topers, do they not deserve to have their snouts slit5? The hair of their hides doesn’t lie outward, but inwards, and every mother’s son of ‘em for his device wears a gaping7 pouch8, but not all in the same manner; for some wear it tied to their neck scarfwise, others upon the breech, some on the paunch, others on the side, and all for a cause, with reason and mystery. They have claws so very strong, long, and sharp that nothing can get from ‘em that is once fast between their clutches. Sometimes they cover their heads with mortar-like caps, at other times with mortified9 caparisons.
The furred law cats scrambling10 after the crowns from Panurge's purse.
As we entered their den11, said a common mumper, to whom we had given half a teston, Worshipful culprits, God send you a good deliverance! Examine well, said he, the countenance12 of these stout13 props14 and pillars of this catch-coin law and iniquity15; and pray observe, that if you still live but six olympiads, and the age of two dogs more, you’ll see these Furred Law-cats lords of all Europe, and in peaceful possession of all the estates and dominions16 belonging to it; unless, by divine providence17, what’s got over the devil’s back is spent under his belly18, or the goods which they unjustly get perish with their prodigal19 heirs. Take this from an honest beggar.
Among ‘em reigns20 the sixth essence; by the means of which they gripe all, devour all, conskite all, burn all, draw all, hang all, quarter all, behead all, murder all, imprison21 all, waste all, and ruin all, without the least notice of right or wrong; for among them vice6 is called virtue22; wickedness, piety23; treason, loyalty24; robbery, justice. Plunder25 is their motto, and when acted by them is approved by all men, except the heretics; and all this they do because they dare; their authority is sovereign and irrefragable. For a sign of the truth of what I tell you, you’ll find that there the mangers are above the racks. Remember hereafter that a fool told you this; and if ever plague, famine, war, fire, earthquakes, inundations, or other judgments26 befall the world, do not attribute ‘em to the aspects and conjunctions of the malevolent27 planets; to the abuses of the court of Romania, or the tyranny of secular28 kings and princes; to the impostures of the false zealots of the cowl, heretical bigots, false prophets, and broachers of sects29; to the villainy of griping usurers, clippers, and coiners; or to the ignorance, impudence30, and imprudence of physicians, surgeons, and apothecaries31; nor to the lewdness32 of adulteresses and destroyers of by-blows; but charge them all, wholly and solely33, to the inexpressible, incredible, and inestimable wickedness and ruin which is continually hatched, brewed34, and practised in the den or shop of those Furred Law-cats. Yet ’tis no more known in the world than the cabala of the Jews, the more’s the pity; and therefore ’tis not detested35, chastised36, and punished as ’tis fit it should be. But should all their villainy be once displayed in its true colours and exposed to the people, there never was, is, nor will be any spokesman so sweet-mouthed, whose fine colloguing tongue could save ‘em; nor any law so rigorous and draconic37 that could punish ‘em as they deserve; nor yet any magistrate38 so powerful as to hinder their being burnt alive in their coneyburrows without mercy. Even their own furred kittlings, friends, and relations would abominate39 ‘em.
For this reason, as Hannibal was solemnly sworn by his father Amilcar to pursue the Romans with the utmost hatred40 as long as ever he lived, so my late father has enjoined41 me to remain here without, till God Almighty’s thunder reduce them there within to ashes, like other presumptuous42 Titans, profane43 wretches44, and opposers of God; since mankind is so inured45 to their oppressions that they either do not remember, foresee, or have a sense of the woes46 and miseries47 which they have caused; or, if they have, either will not, dare not, or cannot root ‘em out.
How, said Panurge, say you so? Catch me there and hang me! Damme, let’s march off! This noble beggar has scared me worse than thunder in autumn [Motteux gives ‘than the thunder would do them.’]. Upon this we were filing off; but, alas48! we found ourselves trapped — the door was double-locked and barricadoed. Some messengers of ill news told us it was full as easy to get in there as into hell, and no less hard to get out. Ay, there indeed lay the difficulty, for there is no getting loose without a pass and discharge in due course from the bench. This for no other reason than because folks go easier out of a church than out of a sponging-house, and because they could not have our company when they would. The worst on’t was when we got through the wicket; for we were carried, to get out our pass or discharge, before a more dreadful monster than ever was read of in the legends of knight-errantry. They called him Gripe-men-all. I can’t tell what to compare it to better than to a Chimaera, a Sphinx, a Cerberus; or to the image of Osiris, as the Egyptians represented him, with three heads, one of a roaring lion, t’other of a fawning49 cur, and the last of a howling, prowling wolf, twisted about with a dragon biting his tail, surrounded with fiery50 rays. His hands were full of gore51, his talons52 like those of the harpies, his snout like a hawk’s bill, his fangs53 or tusks54 like those of an overgrown brindled55 wild boar; his eyes were flaming like the jaws56 of hell, all covered with mortars57 interlaced with pestles58, and nothing of his arms was to be seen but his clutches. His hutch, and that of the warren-cats his collaterals59, was a long, spick-and-span new rack, a-top of which (as the mumper told us) some large stately mangers were fixed60 in the reverse. Over the chief seat was the picture of an old woman holding the case or scabbard of a sickle61 in her right hand, a pair of scales in her left, with spectacles on her nose; the cups or scales of the balance were a pair of velvet62 pouches63, the one full of bullion64, which overpoised t’other, empty and long, hoisted65 higher than the middle of the beam. I’m of opinion it was the true effigies66 of Justice Gripe-men-all; far different from the institution of the ancient Thebans, who set up the statues of their dicasts without hands, in marble, silver, or gold, according to their merit, even after their death.
When we made our personal appearance before him, a sort of I don’t know what men, all clothed with I don’t know what bags and pouches, with long scrolls67 in their clutches, made us sit down upon a cricket (such as criminals sit on when tried in France). Quoth Panurge to ‘em, Good my lords, I’m very well as I am; I’d as lief stand, an’t please you. Besides, this same stool is somewhat of the lowest for a man that has new breeches and a short doublet. Sit you down, said Gripe-men-all again, and look that you don’t make the court bid you twice. Now, continued he, the earth shall immediately open its jaws and swallow you up to quick damnation if you don’t answer as you should.
1 condemnation | |
n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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2 sergeant | |
n.警官,中士 | |
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3 devour | |
v.吞没;贪婪地注视或谛听,贪读;使着迷 | |
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4 trample | |
vt.踩,践踏;无视,伤害,侵犯 | |
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5 slit | |
n.狭长的切口;裂缝;vt.切开,撕裂 | |
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6 vice | |
n.坏事;恶习;[pl.]台钳,老虎钳;adj.副的 | |
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7 gaping | |
adj.口的;张口的;敞口的;多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 );张开,张大 | |
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8 pouch | |
n.小袋,小包,囊状袋;vt.装...入袋中,用袋运输;vi.用袋送信件 | |
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9 mortified | |
v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 );伤害(人的感情);克制;抑制(肉体、情感等) | |
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10 scrambling | |
v.快速爬行( scramble的现在分词 );攀登;争夺;(军事飞机)紧急起飞 | |
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11 den | |
n.兽穴;秘密地方;安静的小房间,私室 | |
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12 countenance | |
n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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14 props | |
小道具; 支柱( prop的名词复数 ); 支持者; 道具; (橄榄球中的)支柱前锋 | |
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15 iniquity | |
n.邪恶;不公正 | |
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16 dominions | |
统治权( dominion的名词复数 ); 领土; 疆土; 版图 | |
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17 providence | |
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝 | |
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18 belly | |
n.肚子,腹部;(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分,膛 | |
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19 prodigal | |
adj.浪费的,挥霍的,放荡的 | |
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20 reigns | |
n.君主的统治( reign的名词复数 );君主统治时期;任期;当政期 | |
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21 imprison | |
vt.监禁,关押,限制,束缚 | |
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22 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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23 piety | |
n.虔诚,虔敬 | |
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24 loyalty | |
n.忠诚,忠心 | |
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25 plunder | |
vt.劫掠财物,掠夺;n.劫掠物,赃物;劫掠 | |
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26 judgments | |
判断( judgment的名词复数 ); 鉴定; 评价; 审判 | |
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27 malevolent | |
adj.有恶意的,恶毒的 | |
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28 secular | |
n.牧师,凡人;adj.世俗的,现世的,不朽的 | |
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29 sects | |
n.宗派,教派( sect的名词复数 ) | |
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30 impudence | |
n.厚颜无耻;冒失;无礼 | |
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31 apothecaries | |
n.药剂师,药店( apothecary的名词复数 ) | |
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32 lewdness | |
n. 淫荡, 邪恶 | |
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33 solely | |
adv.仅仅,唯一地 | |
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34 brewed | |
调制( brew的过去式和过去分词 ); 酝酿; 沏(茶); 煮(咖啡) | |
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35 detested | |
v.憎恶,嫌恶,痛恨( detest的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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36 chastised | |
v.严惩(某人)(尤指责打)( chastise的过去式 ) | |
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37 draconic | |
adj.龙的,似龙的; 非常严厉的,非常严酷的 | |
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38 magistrate | |
n.地方行政官,地方法官,治安官 | |
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39 abominate | |
v.憎恨,厌恶 | |
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40 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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41 enjoined | |
v.命令( enjoin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42 presumptuous | |
adj.胆大妄为的,放肆的,冒昧的,冒失的 | |
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43 profane | |
adj.亵神的,亵渎的;vt.亵渎,玷污 | |
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44 wretches | |
n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 );可怜的人;恶棍;坏蛋 | |
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45 inured | |
adj.坚强的,习惯的 | |
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46 woes | |
困境( woe的名词复数 ); 悲伤; 我好苦哇; 某人就要倒霉 | |
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47 miseries | |
n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 );痛苦的事;穷困;常发牢骚的人 | |
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48 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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49 fawning | |
adj.乞怜的,奉承的v.(尤指狗等)跳过来往人身上蹭以示亲热( fawn的现在分词 );巴结;讨好 | |
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50 fiery | |
adj.燃烧着的,火红的;暴躁的;激烈的 | |
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51 gore | |
n.凝血,血污;v.(动物)用角撞伤,用牙刺破;缝以补裆;顶 | |
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52 talons | |
n.(尤指猛禽的)爪( talon的名词复数 );(如爪般的)手指;爪状物;锁簧尖状突出部 | |
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53 fangs | |
n.(尤指狗和狼的)长而尖的牙( fang的名词复数 );(蛇的)毒牙;罐座 | |
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54 tusks | |
n.(象等动物的)长牙( tusk的名词复数 );獠牙;尖形物;尖头 | |
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55 brindled | |
adj.有斑纹的 | |
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56 jaws | |
n.口部;嘴 | |
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57 mortars | |
n.迫击炮( mortar的名词复数 );砂浆;房产;研钵 | |
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58 pestles | |
n.(捣碎或碾磨用的)杵( pestle的名词复数 ) | |
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59 collaterals | |
n.附属担保品( collateral的名词复数 ) | |
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60 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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61 sickle | |
n.镰刀 | |
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62 velvet | |
n.丝绒,天鹅绒;adj.丝绒制的,柔软的 | |
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63 pouches | |
n.(放在衣袋里或连在腰带上的)小袋( pouch的名词复数 );(袋鼠等的)育儿袋;邮袋;(某些动物贮存食物的)颊袋 | |
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64 bullion | |
n.金条,银条 | |
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65 hoisted | |
把…吊起,升起( hoist的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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66 effigies | |
n.(人的)雕像,模拟像,肖像( effigy的名词复数 ) | |
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67 scrolls | |
n.(常用于录写正式文件的)纸卷( scroll的名词复数 );卷轴;涡卷形(装饰);卷形花纹v.(电脑屏幕上)从上到下移动(资料等),卷页( scroll的第三人称单数 );(似卷轴般)卷起;(像展开卷轴般地)将文字显示于屏幕 | |
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