Several adventurers that happened to the author. The execution of a criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.
I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness had not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome accidents; some of which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes take me out of it, and hold me in her hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf1 left the queen, he followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse having set me down, he and I being close together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a silly allusion2 between him and the trees, which happens to hold in their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious3 rogue4, watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face; but I received no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the provocation5.
Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to divert myself, while she walked at some distance with her governess. In the meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I was immediately by the force of it, struck to the ground: and when I was down, the hailstones gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted6 with tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep on all fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the lee-side of a border of lemon-thyme, but so bruised7 from head to foot, that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because nature, in that country, observing the same proportion through all her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large as one in Europe; which I can assert upon experience, having been so curious as to weigh and measure them.
But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place (which I often entreated8 her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts,) and having left my box at home, to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white spaniel that belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the garden, happened to range near the place where I lay: the dog, following the scent9, came directly up, and taking me in his mouth, ran straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently on the ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a great kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me up in both his hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to my little nurse, who, by this time, had returned to the place where she left me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely10 reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and never known at court, for the girl was afraid of the queen’s anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for my reputation, that such a story should go about.
This accident absolutely determined11 Glumdalclitch never to trust me abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this resolution, and therefore concealed13 from her some little unlucky adventures, that happened in those times when I was left by myself. Once a kite, hovering14 over the garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had not resolutely15 drawn16 my hanger17, and run under a thick espalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his talons18. Another time, walking to the top of a fresh mole19-hill, I fell to my neck in the hole, through which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie, not worth remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my right shin against the shell of a snail20, which I happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone and thinking on poor England.
I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified21 to observe, in those solitary22 walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at all afraid of me, but would hop23 about within a yard’s distance, looking for worms and other food, with as much indifference24 and security as if no creature at all were near them. I remember, a thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me, endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their reach; and then they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails26, as they did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned27, recovering himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides of my head and body, though I held him at arm’s-length, and was out of the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung28 off the bird’s neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by the queen’s command. This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an English swan.
The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their apartments, and desired she would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching29 me. They would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosoms30; wherewith I was much disgusted because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins; which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of those excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect; but I conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the same quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their natural smell was much more supportable, than when they used perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I cannot forget, that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little faulty that way, as most of my sex: but I suppose his faculty31 of smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose persons were as sweet as those of any lady in England.
That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of honour (when my nurse carried me to visit then) was, to see them use me without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had no sort of consequence: for they would strip themselves to the skin, and put on their smocks in my presence, while I was placed on their toilet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am sure to me was very far from being a tempting32 sight, or from giving me any other emotions than those of horror and disgust: their skins appeared so coarse and uneven35, so variously coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they at all scruple36, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to the quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel37 that held above three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant, frolicsome38 girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I was so much displeased39, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive40 some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more.
One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse’s governess, came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man, who had murdered one of that gentleman’s intimate acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the company, very much against her inclination41, for she was naturally tender-hearted: and, as for myself, although I abhorred42 such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted25 me to see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The malefactor43 was fixed44 in a chair upon a scaffold erected45 for that purpose, and his head cut off at one blow, with a sword of about forty feet long. The veins46 and arteries47 spouted48 up such a prodigious49 quantity of blood, and so high in the air, that the great jet d’eau at Versailles was not equal to it for the time it lasted: and the head, when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me start, although I was at least half an English mile distant.
The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages, and took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy50, asked me whether I understood how to handle a sail or an oar33, and whether a little exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my health? I answered, that I understood both very well: for although my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to work like a common mariner51. But I could not see how this could be done in their country, where the smallest wherry was equal to a first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty52 said, if I would contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all its tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap to the king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern53 full of water, with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my two sculls, or little oars34, for want of room. But the queen had before contrived54 another project. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which, being well pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor, along the wall, in an outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let out the water, when it began to grow stale; and two servants could easily fill it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own diversion, as well as that of the queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertained with my skill and agility55. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and then my business was only to steer56, while the ladies gave me a gale57 with their fans; and, when they were weary, some of their pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I showed my art by steering58 starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry.
In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost me my life; for, one of the pages having put my boat into the trough, the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat: but I happened to slip through her fingers, and should infallibly have fallen down forty feet upon the floor, if, by the luckiest chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a corking-pin that stuck in the good gentlewoman’s stomacher; the head of the pin passing between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and thus I was held by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief.
Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay concealed till I was put into my boat, but then, seeing a resting-place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped59 at once half the length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and forward, daubing my face and clothes with its odious60 slime. The largeness of its features made it appear the most deformed61 animal that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one of my sculls, and at last forced it to leap out of the boat.
But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was from a monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while she went somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather being very warm, the closet-window was left open, as well as the windows and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating62 at my table, I heard something bounce in at the closet-window, and skip about from one side to the other: whereat, although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my seat; and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room; or box; but the monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a fright, that I wanted presence of mind to conceal12 myself under the bed, as I might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering63, he at last espied64 me; and reaching one of his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse, although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the lappet of my coat (which being made of that country silk, was very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took me up in his right fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child she is going to suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a kitten in Europe; and when I offered to struggle he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent65 to submit. I have good reason to believe, that he took me for a young one of his own species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other paw. In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if somebody were opening it: whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the window at which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and gutters66, walking upon three legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek67 at the moment he was carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter of the palace was all in an uproar68; the servants ran for ladders; the monkey was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge69 of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws, and feeding me with the other, by cramming70 into my mouth some victuals71 he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the rabble72 below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was ridiculous enough to every body but myself. Some of the people threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was strictly73 forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been dashed out.
The ladders were now applied74, and mounted by several men; which the monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed75, not being able to make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his escape. Here I sat for some time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge to the eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse’s footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought me down safe.
I was almost choked with the filthy76 stuff the monkey had crammed77 down my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the court, sent every day to inquire after my health; and her majesty made me several visits during my sickness. The monkey was killed, and an order made, that no such animal should be kept about the palace.
When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this adventure. He asked me, “what my thoughts and speculations78 were, while I lay in the monkey’s paw; how I liked the victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the fresh air on the roof had sharpened my stomach.” He desired to know, “what I would have done upon such an occasion in my own country.” I told his majesty, “that in Europe we had no monkeys, except such as were brought for curiosity from other places, and so small, that I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to attack me. And as for that monstrous79 animal with whom I was so lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger,” (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I spoke) “when he poked80 his paw into my chamber81, perhaps I should have given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with more haste than he put it in.” This I delivered in a firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his courage should be called in question. However, my speech produced nothing else beside a laud82 laughter, which all the respect due to his majesty from those about him could not make them contain. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do himself honour among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a little contemptible83 varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or common sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.
I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story: and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly84 that she thought would be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air about an hour’s distance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted out of the coach near a small foot-path in a field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must need try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle up to my knees. I waded85 through with some difficulty, and one of the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was filthily86 bemired; and my nurse confined me to my box, till we returned home; where the queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the footmen spread it about the court: so that all the mirth for some days was at my expense.
1 dwarf | |
n.矮子,侏儒,矮小的动植物;vt.使…矮小 | |
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2 allusion | |
n.暗示,间接提示 | |
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3 malicious | |
adj.有恶意的,心怀恶意的 | |
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4 rogue | |
n.流氓;v.游手好闲 | |
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5 provocation | |
n.激怒,刺激,挑拨,挑衅的事物,激怒的原因 | |
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6 pelted | |
(连续地)投掷( pelt的过去式和过去分词 ); 连续抨击; 攻击; 剥去…的皮 | |
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7 bruised | |
[医]青肿的,瘀紫的 | |
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8 entreated | |
恳求,乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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9 scent | |
n.气味,香味,香水,线索,嗅觉;v.嗅,发觉 | |
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10 severely | |
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地 | |
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11 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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12 conceal | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
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13 concealed | |
a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
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14 hovering | |
鸟( hover的现在分词 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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15 resolutely | |
adj.坚决地,果断地 | |
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16 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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17 hanger | |
n.吊架,吊轴承;挂钩 | |
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18 talons | |
n.(尤指猛禽的)爪( talon的名词复数 );(如爪般的)手指;爪状物;锁簧尖状突出部 | |
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19 mole | |
n.胎块;痣;克分子 | |
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20 snail | |
n.蜗牛 | |
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21 mortified | |
v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 );伤害(人的感情);克制;抑制(肉体、情感等) | |
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22 solitary | |
adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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23 hop | |
n.单脚跳,跳跃;vi.单脚跳,跳跃;着手做某事;vt.跳跃,跃过 | |
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24 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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25 tempted | |
v.怂恿(某人)干不正当的事;冒…的险(tempt的过去分词) | |
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26 snails | |
n.蜗牛;迟钝的人;蜗牛( snail的名词复数 ) | |
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27 stunned | |
adj. 震惊的,惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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28 wrung | |
绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 ); 握紧(尤指别人的手); 把(湿衣服)拧干; 绞掉(水) | |
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29 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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30 bosoms | |
胸部( bosom的名词复数 ); 胸怀; 女衣胸部(或胸襟); 和爱护自己的人在一起的情形 | |
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31 faculty | |
n.才能;学院,系;(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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32 tempting | |
a.诱人的, 吸引人的 | |
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33 oar | |
n.桨,橹,划手;v.划行 | |
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34 oars | |
n.桨,橹( oar的名词复数 );划手v.划(行)( oar的第三人称单数 ) | |
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35 uneven | |
adj.不平坦的,不规则的,不均匀的 | |
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36 scruple | |
n./v.顾忌,迟疑 | |
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37 vessel | |
n.船舶;容器,器皿;管,导管,血管 | |
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38 frolicsome | |
adj.嬉戏的,闹着玩的 | |
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39 displeased | |
a.不快的 | |
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40 contrive | |
vt.谋划,策划;设法做到;设计,想出 | |
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41 inclination | |
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好 | |
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42 abhorred | |
v.憎恶( abhor的过去式和过去分词 );(厌恶地)回避;拒绝;淘汰 | |
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43 malefactor | |
n.罪犯 | |
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44 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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45 ERECTED | |
adj. 直立的,竖立的,笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立,建立 | |
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46 veins | |
n.纹理;矿脉( vein的名词复数 );静脉;叶脉;纹理 | |
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47 arteries | |
n.动脉( artery的名词复数 );干线,要道 | |
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48 spouted | |
adj.装有嘴的v.(指液体)喷出( spout的过去式和过去分词 );滔滔不绝地讲;喋喋不休地说;喷水 | |
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49 prodigious | |
adj.惊人的,奇妙的;异常的;巨大的;庞大的 | |
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50 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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51 mariner | |
n.水手号不载人航天探测器,海员,航海者 | |
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52 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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53 cistern | |
n.贮水池 | |
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54 contrived | |
adj.不自然的,做作的;虚构的 | |
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55 agility | |
n.敏捷,活泼 | |
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56 steer | |
vt.驾驶,为…操舵;引导;vi.驾驶 | |
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57 gale | |
n.大风,强风,一阵闹声(尤指笑声等) | |
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58 steering | |
n.操舵装置 | |
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59 hopped | |
跳上[下]( hop的过去式和过去分词 ); 单足蹦跳; 齐足(或双足)跳行; 摘葎草花 | |
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60 odious | |
adj.可憎的,讨厌的 | |
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61 deformed | |
adj.畸形的;变形的;丑的,破相了的 | |
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62 meditating | |
a.沉思的,冥想的 | |
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63 chattering | |
n. (机器振动发出的)咔嗒声,(鸟等)鸣,啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的,啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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64 espied | |
v.看到( espy的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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65 prudent | |
adj.谨慎的,有远见的,精打细算的 | |
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66 gutters | |
(路边)排水沟( gutter的名词复数 ); 阴沟; (屋顶的)天沟; 贫贱的境地 | |
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67 shriek | |
v./n.尖叫,叫喊 | |
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68 uproar | |
n.骚动,喧嚣,鼎沸 | |
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69 ridge | |
n.山脊;鼻梁;分水岭 | |
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70 cramming | |
n.塞满,填鸭式的用功v.塞入( cram的现在分词 );填塞;塞满;(为考试而)死记硬背功课 | |
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71 victuals | |
n.食物;食品 | |
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72 rabble | |
n.乌合之众,暴民;下等人 | |
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73 strictly | |
adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地 | |
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74 applied | |
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用 | |
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75 encompassed | |
v.围绕( encompass的过去式和过去分词 );包围;包含;包括 | |
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76 filthy | |
adj.卑劣的;恶劣的,肮脏的 | |
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77 crammed | |
adj.塞满的,挤满的;大口地吃;快速贪婪地吃v.把…塞满;填入;临时抱佛脚( cram的过去式) | |
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78 speculations | |
n.投机买卖( speculation的名词复数 );思考;投机活动;推断 | |
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79 monstrous | |
adj.巨大的;恐怖的;可耻的,丢脸的 | |
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80 poked | |
v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 );戳出;拨弄;与(某人)性交 | |
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81 chamber | |
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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82 laud | |
n.颂歌;v.赞美 | |
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83 contemptible | |
adj.可鄙的,可轻视的,卑劣的 | |
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84 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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85 waded | |
(从水、泥等)蹚,走过,跋( wade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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86 filthily | |
adv.污秽地,丑恶地,不洁地 | |
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