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Chapter 79 ‘I Can Sleep on the Boards’
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Three days after this there came another carriage to the bottom of the hill on which Casalunga stood, and a lady got out of it all alone. It was Emily Trevelyan, and she had come thither1 from Siena in quest of her husband and her child. On the previous day Sir Marmaduke’s courier had been at the house with a note from the wife to the husband, and had returned with an answer, in which Mrs Trevelyan was told that, if she would come quite alone, she should see her child. Sir Marmaduke had been averse2 to any further intercourse3 with the man, other than what might be made in accordance with medical advice, and, if possible, with government authority. Lady Rowley had assented4 to her daughter’s wish, but had suggested that she should at least be allowed to go also at any rate, as far as the bottom of the hill. But Emily had been very firm, and Mr Glascock had supported her. He was confident that the man would do no harm to her, and he was indisposed to believe that any interference on the part of the Italian Government could be procured5 in such a case with sufficient celerity to be of use. He still thought it might be possible that the wife might prevail over the husband, or the mother over the father. Sir Marmaduke was at last obliged to yield, and Mrs Trevelyan went to Siena with no other companion but the courier. From Siena she made the journey quite alone; and having learned the circumstances of the house from Mr Glascock, she got out of the carriage, and walked up the hill. There were still the two men coopering at the vats6, but she did not stay to speak to them. She went through the big gates, and along the slanting7 path to the door, not doubting of her way, for Mr Glascock had described it all to her, making a small plan of the premises8, and even explaining to her the position of the room in which her boy and her husband slept. She found the door open, and an Italian maid-servant at once welcomed her to the house, and assured her that the signor would be with her immediately. She was sure that the girl knew that she was the boy’s mother, and was almost tempted9 to ask questions at once as to the state of the household; but her knowledge of Italian was slight, and she felt that she was so utterly10 a stranger in the land that she could dare to trust no one. Though the heat was great, her face was covered with a thick veil. Her dress was black, from head to foot, and she was as a woman who mourned for her husband. She was led into the room which her father had been allowed to enter through the window; and here she sat, in her husband’s house, feeling that in no position in the world could she be more utterly separated from the interests of all around her. In a few minutes the door was opened, and her husband was with her, bringing the boy in his hand. He had dressed himself with some care; but it may be doubted whether the garments which he wore did not make him appear thinner even and more haggard than he had looked to be in his old dressing-gown. He had not shaved himself, but his long hair was brushed back from his forehead, after a fashion quaint11 and very foreign to his former ideas of dress. His wife had not expected that her child would come to her at once, had thought that some entreaties12 would be necessary, some obedience13 perhaps exacted from her, before she would be allowed to see him; and now her heart was softened14, and she was grateful to her husband. But she could not speak to him till she had had the boy in her arms. She tore off her bonnet15, and then clinging to the child, covered him with kisses. ‘Louey, my darling! Louey; you remember mamma?’ The child pressed himself close to his mother’s bosom16, but spoke17 never a word. He was cowed and overcome, not only by the incidents of the moment, but by the terrible melancholy18 of his whole life. He had been taught to understand, without actual spoken lessons, that he was to live with his father, and that the former woman-given happinesses of his life were at an end. In this second visit from his mother he did not forget her. He recognised the luxury of her love; but it did not occur to him even to hope that she might have come to rescue him from the evil of his days. Trevelyan was standing19 by, the while, looking on; but he did not speak till she addressed him.

‘I am so thankful to you for bringing him to me,’ she said.

‘I told you that you should see him,’ he said. ‘Perhaps it might have been better that I should have sent him by a servant; but there are circumstances which make me fear to let him out of my sight.’

‘Do you think that I did not wish to see you also? Louis, why do you do me so much wrong? Why do you treat me with such cruelty?’ Then she threw her arms round his neck, and before he could repulse20 her before he could reflect whether it would be well that he should repulse her or not she had covered his brow and cheeks and lips with kisses. ‘Louis,’ she said; ‘Louis, speak to me!’

‘It is hard to speak sometimes,’ he said.

‘You love me, Louis?’

‘Yes I love you. But I am afraid of you!’

‘What is it that you fear? I would give my life for you, if you would only come back to me and let me feel that you believed me to be true.’ He shook his head, and began to think while she still clung to him. He was quite sure that her father and mother had intended to bring a mad doctor down upon him, and he knew that his wife was in her mother’s hands. Should he yield to her now, should he make her any promise, might not the result be that he would be shut up in dark rooms, robbed of his liberty, robbed of what he loved better than his liberty, his power as a man. She would thus get the better of him and take the child, and the world would say that in this contest between him and her he had been the sinning one, and she the one against whom the sin had been done. It was the chief object of his mind, the one thing for which he was eager, that this should never come to pass. Let it once be conceded to him from all sides that he had been right, and then she might do with him almost as she willed. He knew well that he was ill. When he thought of his child, he would tell himself that he was dying. He was at some moments of his miserable21 existence fearfully anxious to come to terms with his wife, in order that at his death his boy might not be without a protector. Were he to die, then it would be better that his child should be with its mother. In his happy days, immediately after his marriage, he had made a will, in which he had left his entire property to his wife for her life, providing for its subsequent descent to his child or children. It had never even occurred to his poor shattered brain that it would be well for him to alter his will. Had he really believed that his wife had betrayed him, doubtless he would have done so. He would have hated her, have distrusted her altogether, and have believed her to be an evil thing. He had no such belief. But in his desire to achieve empire, and in the sorrows which had come upon him in his unsuccessful struggle, his mind had wavered so frequently, that his spoken words were no true indicators22 of his thoughts; and in all his arguments he failed to express either his convictions or his desires. When he would say something stronger than he intended, and it would be put to him by his wife, by her father or mother, or by some friend of hers, whether he did believe that she had been untrue to him, he would recoil23 from the answer which his heart would dictate24, lest he should seem to make an acknowledgment that might weaken the ground upon which he stood. Then he would satisfy his own conscience by assuring himself that he had never accused her of such sin. She was still clinging to him now as his mind was working after this fashion. ‘Louis,’ she said, ‘let it all be as though there had been nothing.’

‘How can that be, my dear?’

‘Not to others, but to us it can be so. There shall be no word spoken of the past.’ Again he shook his head. ‘Will it not be best that there should be no word spoken?’

‘“Forgiveness may be spoken with the tongue,”’ he said, beginning to quote from a poem which had formerly25 been frequent in his hands.

‘Cannot there be real forgiveness between you and me, between husband and wife who, in truth, love each other? Do you think that I would tell you of it again?’ He felt that in all that she said there was an assumption that she had been right, and that he had been wrong. She was promising26 to forgive. She was undertaking27 to forget. She was willing to take him back to the warmth of her love, and the comfort of her kindness but was not asking to be taken back. This was what he could not and would not endure. He had determined28 that if she behaved well to him, he would not be harsh to her, and he was struggling to keep up to his resolve. He would accuse her of nothing if he could help it. But he could not say a word that would even imply that she need forget that she should forgive. It was for him to forgive and he was willing to do it, if she would accept forgiveness: ‘I will never speak a word, Louis,’ she said, laying her head upon his shoulder.

‘Your heart is still hardened,’ he replied slowly.

‘Hard to you?’

‘And your mind is dark. You do not see what you have done. In our religion, Emily, forgiveness is sure, not after penitence29, but with repentance30.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means this, that though I would welcome you back to my arms with joy, I cannot do so, till you have confessed your fault.’

‘What fault, Louis? If I have made you unhappy, I do, indeed, grieve that it has been so.’

‘It is of no use,’ said he. ‘I cannot talk about it. Do you suppose that it does not tear me to the very soul to think of it?’

‘What is it that you think, Louis?’ As she had been travelling thither, she had determined that she would say anything that he wished her to say, make any admission that might satisfy him. That she could be happy again as other women are happy, she did not expect; but if it could be conceded between them that bygones should be bygones, she might live with him and do her duty, and, at least, have her child with her.

Her father had told her that her husband was mad; but she was willing to put up with his madness on such terms as these. What could her husband do to her in his madness that he could not do also to the child? ‘Tell me what you want me to say, and I will say it,’ she said.

‘You have sinned against me,’ he said, raising her head gently from his shoulder.

‘Never!’ she exclaimed. ‘As God is my judge, I never have!’ As she said this, she retreated and took the sobbing31 boy again into her arms.

He was at once placed upon his guard, telling himself that he saw the necessity of holding by his child. How could he tell? Might there not be policemen down from Florence, ready round the house, to seize the boy and carry him away. Though all his remaining life should be a torment32 to him, though infinite plagues should be poured upon his head, though he should die like a dog, alone, unfriended, and in despair, while he was fighting this battle of his, he would not give way. ‘That is sufficient,’ he said. ‘Louey must return now to his own chamber33.’

‘I may go with him?’

‘No, Emily. You cannot go with him now. I will thank you to release him, that I may take him.’ She still held the little fellow closely pressed in her arms. ‘Do not reward me for my courtesy by further disobedience,’ he said.

‘You will let me come again?’ To this he made no reply. ‘Tell me that I may come again.’

‘I do not think that I shall remain here long.’

‘And I may not stay now?’

‘That would be impossible. There is no accommodation for you.’

‘I could sleep on the boards beside his cot,’ said Mrs Trevelyan.

‘That is my place,’ he replied. ‘You may know that he is not disregarded. With my own hands I tend him every morning. I take him out myself. I feed him myself. He says his prayers to me. He learns from me, and can say his letters nicely. You need not fear for him. No mother was ever more tender with her child than I am with him.’ Then he gently withdrew the boy from her arms, and she let her child go, lest he should learn to know that there was a quarrel between his father and his mother. ‘If you will excuse me,’ he said, ‘I will not come down to you again today. My servant will see you to your carriage.’

So he left her; and she, with an Italian girl at her heels, got into her vehicle, and was taken back to Siena. There she passed the night alone at the inn, and on the next morning returned to Florence by the railway.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 thither cgRz1o     
adv.向那里;adj.在那边的,对岸的
参考例句:
  • He wandered hither and thither looking for a playmate.他逛来逛去找玩伴。
  • He tramped hither and thither.他到处流浪。
2 averse 6u0zk     
adj.厌恶的;反对的,不乐意的
参考例句:
  • I don't smoke cigarettes,but I'm not averse to the occasional cigar.我不吸烟,但我不反对偶尔抽一支雪茄。
  • We are averse to such noisy surroundings.我们不喜欢这么吵闹的环境。
3 intercourse NbMzU     
n.性交;交流,交往,交际
参考例句:
  • The magazine becomes a cultural medium of intercourse between the two peoples.该杂志成为两民族间文化交流的媒介。
  • There was close intercourse between them.他们过往很密。
4 assented 4cee1313bb256a1f69bcc83867e78727     
同意,赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • The judge assented to allow the prisoner to speak. 法官同意允许犯人申辩。
  • "No," assented Tom, "they don't kill the women -- they're too noble. “对,”汤姆表示赞同地说,“他们不杀女人——真伟大!
5 procured 493ee52a2e975a52c94933bb12ecc52b     
v.(努力)取得, (设法)获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 );拉皮条
参考例句:
  • These cars are to be procured through open tender. 这些汽车要用公开招标的办法购买。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • A friend procured a position in the bank for my big brother. 一位朋友为我哥哥谋得了一个银行的职位。 来自《用法词典》
6 vats 3cf7466f161beb5cb241053041e2077e     
varieties 变化,多样性,种类
参考例句:
  • Fixed rare issue with getting stuck in VATS mode. 修正了极少出现的VATS模式卡住的问题。
  • Objective To summarize the experience of VATS clinic application. 目的总结电视胸腔镜手术(vats)胸外科疾病治疗中的临床应用经验。
7 slanting bfc7f3900241f29cee38d19726ae7dce     
倾斜的,歪斜的
参考例句:
  • The rain is driving [slanting] in from the south. 南边潲雨。
  • The line is slanting to the left. 这根线向左斜了。
8 premises 6l1zWN     
n.建筑物,房屋
参考例句:
  • According to the rules,no alcohol can be consumed on the premises.按照规定,场内不准饮酒。
  • All repairs are done on the premises and not put out.全部修缮都在家里进行,不用送到外面去做。
9 tempted b0182e969d369add1b9ce2353d3c6ad6     
v.怂恿(某人)干不正当的事;冒…的险(tempt的过去分词)
参考例句:
  • I was sorely tempted to complain, but I didn't. 我极想发牢骚,但还是没开口。
  • I was tempted by the dessert menu. 甜食菜单馋得我垂涎欲滴。
10 utterly ZfpzM1     
adv.完全地,绝对地
参考例句:
  • Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民,把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
  • I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。
11 quaint 7tqy2     
adj.古雅的,离奇有趣的,奇怪的
参考例句:
  • There were many small lanes in the quaint village.在这古香古色的村庄里,有很多小巷。
  • They still keep some quaint old customs.他们仍然保留着一些稀奇古怪的旧风俗。
12 entreaties d56c170cf2a22c1ecef1ae585b702562     
n.恳求,乞求( entreaty的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • He began with entreaties and ended with a threat. 他先是恳求,最后是威胁。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The tyrant was deaf to the entreaties of the slaves. 暴君听不到奴隶们的哀鸣。 来自《简明英汉词典》
13 obedience 8vryb     
n.服从,顺从
参考例句:
  • Society has a right to expect obedience of the law.社会有权要求人人遵守法律。
  • Soldiers act in obedience to the orders of their superior officers.士兵们遵照上级军官的命令行动。
14 softened 19151c4e3297eb1618bed6a05d92b4fe     
(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰
参考例句:
  • His smile softened slightly. 他的微笑稍柔和了些。
  • The ice cream softened and began to melt. 冰淇淋开始变软并开始融化。
15 bonnet AtSzQ     
n.无边女帽;童帽
参考例句:
  • The baby's bonnet keeps the sun out of her eyes.婴孩的帽子遮住阳光,使之不刺眼。
  • She wore a faded black bonnet garnished with faded artificial flowers.她戴着一顶褪了色的黑色无边帽,帽上缀着褪了色的假花。
16 bosom Lt9zW     
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的
参考例句:
  • She drew a little book from her bosom.她从怀里取出一本小册子。
  • A dark jealousy stirred in his bosom.他内心生出一阵恶毒的嫉妒。
17 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
18 melancholy t7rz8     
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的
参考例句:
  • All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
  • He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过,他感到很郁闷。
19 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
20 repulse dBFz4     
n.击退,拒绝;vt.逐退,击退,拒绝
参考例句:
  • The armed forces were prepared to repulse any attacks.武装部队已作好击退任何进攻的准备。
  • After the second repulse,the enemy surrendered.在第二次击退之后,敌人投降了。
21 miserable g18yk     
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的
参考例句:
  • It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他,这是可耻的。
  • Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
22 indicators f46872fc1b5f08e9d32bd107be1df829     
(仪器上显示温度、压力、耗油量等的)指针( indicator的名词复数 ); 指示物; (车辆上的)转弯指示灯; 指示信号
参考例句:
  • The economic indicators are better than expected. 经济指标比预期的好。
  • It is still difficult to develop indicators for many concepts used in social science. 为社会科学领域的许多概念确立一个指标仍然很难。
23 recoil GA4zL     
vi.退却,退缩,畏缩
参考例句:
  • Most people would recoil at the sight of the snake.许多人看见蛇都会向后退缩。
  • Revenge may recoil upon the person who takes it.报复者常会受到报应。
24 dictate fvGxN     
v.口授;(使)听写;指令,指示,命令
参考例句:
  • It took him a long time to dictate this letter.口述这封信花了他很长时间。
  • What right have you to dictate to others?你有什么资格向别人发号施令?
25 formerly ni3x9     
adv.从前,以前
参考例句:
  • We now enjoy these comforts of which formerly we had only heard.我们现在享受到了过去只是听说过的那些舒适条件。
  • This boat was formerly used on the rivers of China.这船从前航行在中国内河里。
26 promising BkQzsk     
adj.有希望的,有前途的
参考例句:
  • The results of the experiments are very promising.实验的结果充满了希望。
  • We're trying to bring along one or two promising young swimmers.我们正设法培养出一两名有前途的年轻游泳选手。
27 undertaking Mfkz7S     
n.保证,许诺,事业
参考例句:
  • He gave her an undertaking that he would pay the money back with in a year.他向她做了一年内还钱的保证。
  • He is too timid to venture upon an undertaking.他太胆小,不敢从事任何事业。
28 determined duszmP     
adj.坚定的;有决心的
参考例句:
  • I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
  • He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
29 penitence guoyu     
n.忏悔,赎罪;悔过
参考例句:
  • The thief expressed penitence for all his past actions. 那盗贼对他犯过的一切罪恶表示忏悔。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Of penitence, there has been none! 可是悔过呢,还一点没有! 来自英汉文学 - 红字
30 repentance ZCnyS     
n.懊悔
参考例句:
  • He shows no repentance for what he has done.他对他的所作所为一点也不懊悔。
  • Christ is inviting sinners to repentance.基督正在敦请有罪的人悔悟。
31 sobbing df75b14f92e64fc9e1d7eaf6dcfc083a     
<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的
参考例句:
  • I heard a child sobbing loudly. 我听见有个孩子在呜呜地哭。
  • Her eyes were red with recent sobbing. 她的眼睛因刚哭过而发红。
32 torment gJXzd     
n.折磨;令人痛苦的东西(人);vt.折磨;纠缠
参考例句:
  • He has never suffered the torment of rejection.他从未经受过遭人拒绝的痛苦。
  • Now nothing aggravates me more than when people torment each other.没有什么东西比人们的互相折磨更使我愤怒。
33 chamber wnky9     
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所
参考例句:
  • For many,the dentist's surgery remains a torture chamber.对许多人来说,牙医的治疗室一直是间受刑室。
  • The chamber was ablaze with light.会议厅里灯火辉煌。


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