Babette is tall and fairly ample; there is a girth and heft to her. Her hair is a fanatical blond mop, a particular tawnyhue that used to be called dirty blond. If she were a petite woman, the hair would be too cute, too mischievous1 andcontrived. Size gives her tousled aspect a certain seriousness. Ample women do not plan such things. They lack theguile for conspiracies2 of the body.
"You should have been there," I said to her.
"Where?""It's the day of the station wagons4.""Did I miss it again? You're supposed to remind me.""They stretched all the way down past the music library and onto the interstate. Blue, green, burgundy, brown. Theygleamed in the sun like a desert caravan5.""You know I need reminding, Jack6."Babette, disheveled, has the careless dignity of someone too preoccupied7 with serious matters to know or care whatshe looks like. Not that she is a gift-bearer of great things as the world generally reckons them. She gathers and tendsthe children, teaches a course in an adult education program, belongs to a group of volunteers who read to the blind.
Once a week she reads to an elderly man named Treadwell who lives on the edge of town. He is known as Old ManTreadwell, as if he were a landmark8, a rock formation or brooding swamp. She reads to him from the NationalEnquirer, the National Examiner, the National Express, the Globe, the World, the Star. The old fellow demands hisweekly dose of cult9 mysteries. Why deny him? The point is that Babette, whatever she is doing, makes me feelsweetly rewarded, bound up with a full-souled woman, a lover of daylight and dense10 life, the miscellaneousswarming air of families. I watch her all the time doing things in measured sequence, skillfully, with seeming ease,unlike my former wives, who had a tendency to feel estranged11 from the objective world—a self-absorbed andhigh-strung bunch, with ties to the intelligence community.
"It's not the station wagons I wanted to see. What are the people like? Do the women wear plaid skirts, cable-knitsweaters? Are the men in hacking12 jackets? What's a hacking jacket?""They've grown comfortable with their money," I said. "They genuinely believe they're entitled to it. This convictiongives them a kind of rude health. They glow a little.""I have trouble imagining death at that income level," she said.
"Maybe there is no death as we know it. Just documents changing hands.""Not that we don't have a station wagon3 ourselves.""It's small, it's metallic13 gray, it has one whole rusted14 door.""Where is Wilder?" she said, routinely panic-stricken, calling out to the child, one of hers, sitting motionless on histricycle in the backyard.
Babette and I do our talking in the kitchen. The kitchen and the bedroom are the major chambers15 around here, thepower haunts, the sources. She and I are alike in this, that we regard the rest of the house as storage space forfurniture, toys, all the unused objects of earlier marriages and different sets of children, the gifts of lost in-laws, thehand-me-downs and rummages16. Things, boxes. Why do these possessions carry such sorrowful weight? There is adarkness attached to them, a foreboding. They make me wary17 not of personal failure and defeat but of somethingmore general, something large in scope and content.
She came in with Wilder and seated him on the kitchen counter. Denise and Steffie came downstairs and we talkedabout the school supplies they would need. Soon it was time for lunch. We entered a period of chaos18 and noise. Wemilled about, bickered19 a little, dropped utensils20. Finally we were all satisfied with what we'd been able to snatch fromthe cupboards and refrigerator or swipe from each other and we began quietly plastering mustard or mayonnaise onour brightly colored food. The mood was one of deadly serious anticipation21, a reward hard-won. The table wascrowded and Babette and Denise elbowed each other twice, although neither spoke22. Wilder was still seated on thecounter surrounded by open cartons, crumpled23 tinfoil24, shiny bags of potato chips, bowls of pasty substances coveredwith plastic wrap, flip-top rings and twist ties, individually wrapped slices of orange cheese. Heinrich came in,studied the scene carefully, my only son, then walked out the back door and disappeared.
"This isn't the lunch I'd planned for myself," Babette said. "I was seriously thinking yogurt and wheat germ.""Where have we heard that before?" Denise said.
"Probably right here," Steffie said.
"She keeps buying that stuff.""But she never eats it," Steffie said.
"Because she thinks if she keeps buying it, she'll have to eat it just to get rid of it. It's like she's trying to trick herself.""It takes up half the kitchen.""But she throws it away before she eats it because it goes bad," Denise said. "So then she starts the whole thing allover again.""Wherever you look," Steffie said, "there it is.""She feels guilty if she doesn't buy it, she feels guilty if she buys it and doesn't eat it, she feels guilty when she sees itin the fridge, she feels guilty when she throws it away.""It's like she smokes but she doesn't," Steffie said.
Denise was eleven, a hard-nosed kid. She led a more or less daily protest against those of her mother's habits thatstruck her as wasteful26 or dangerous. I defended Babette. I told her I was the one who needed to show discipline inmatters of diet. I reminded her how much I liked the way she looked. I suggested there was an honesty inherent inbulkiness if it is just the right amount. People trust a certain amount of bulk in others.
But she was not happy with her hips25 and thighs27, walked at a rapid clip, ran up the stadium steps at the neoclassicalhigh school.
She said I made virtues28 of her flaws because it was my nature to shelter loved ones from the truth. Something lurkedinside the truth, she said.
The smoke alarm went off in the hallway upstairs, either to 'et us know the battery had just died or because the housewas on fire. We finished our lunch in silence.
1 mischievous | |
adj.调皮的,恶作剧的,有害的,伤人的 | |
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2 conspiracies | |
n.阴谋,密谋( conspiracy的名词复数 ) | |
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3 wagon | |
n.四轮马车,手推车,面包车;无盖运货列车 | |
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4 wagons | |
n.四轮的运货马车( wagon的名词复数 );铁路货车;小手推车 | |
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5 caravan | |
n.大蓬车;活动房屋 | |
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6 jack | |
n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克 | |
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7 preoccupied | |
adj.全神贯注的,入神的;被抢先占有的;心事重重的v.占据(某人)思想,使对…全神贯注,使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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8 landmark | |
n.陆标,划时代的事,地界标 | |
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9 cult | |
n.异教,邪教;时尚,狂热的崇拜 | |
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10 dense | |
a.密集的,稠密的,浓密的;密度大的 | |
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11 estranged | |
adj.疏远的,分离的 | |
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12 hacking | |
n.非法访问计算机系统和数据库的活动 | |
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13 metallic | |
adj.金属的;金属制的;含金属的;产金属的;像金属的 | |
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14 rusted | |
v.(使)生锈( rust的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15 chambers | |
n.房间( chamber的名词复数 );(议会的)议院;卧室;会议厅 | |
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16 rummages | |
翻找,搜寻( rummage的名词复数 ) | |
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17 wary | |
adj.谨慎的,机警的,小心的 | |
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18 chaos | |
n.混乱,无秩序 | |
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19 bickered | |
v.争吵( bicker的过去式和过去分词 );口角;(水等)作潺潺声;闪烁 | |
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20 utensils | |
器具,用具,器皿( utensil的名词复数 ); 器物 | |
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21 anticipation | |
n.预期,预料,期望 | |
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22 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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23 crumpled | |
adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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24 tinfoil | |
n.锡纸,锡箔 | |
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25 hips | |
abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯,耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 );[建筑学]屋脊;臀围(尺寸);臀部…的 | |
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26 wasteful | |
adj.(造成)浪费的,挥霍的 | |
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27 thighs | |
n.股,大腿( thigh的名词复数 );食用的鸡(等的)腿 | |
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28 virtues | |
美德( virtue的名词复数 ); 德行; 优点; 长处 | |
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