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Chapter 16
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This was the day Wilder started crying at two in the afternoon. At six he was still crying, sitting on the kitchen floorand looking through the oven window, and we ate dinner quickly, moving around him or stepping over him to reachthe stove and refrigerator. Babette watched him as she ate. She had a class to teach in sitting, standing1 and walking.

  It would start in an hour and a half. She looked at me in a drained and supplicating2 way. She'd spoken soothingly5 tohim, hefted and caressed6 him, checked his teeth, given him a bath, examined him, tickled7 him, fed him, tried to gethim to crawl into his vinyl play tunnel. Her old people would be waiting in the church basement.

  It was rhythmic8 crying, a measured statement of short urgent pulses. At times it seemed he would break off into awhimper, an animal complaint, irregular and exhausted9, but the rhythm held, the heightened beat, the washed pinksorrow in his face.

  "We'll take him to the doctor," I said. "Then I'll drop you at the church.""Would the doctor see a crying child? Besides, his doctor doesn't have hours now.""What about your doctor?""I think he does. But a crying child, Jack10. What can I say to the man? 'My child is crying.'""Is there a condition more basic?"There'd been no sense of crisis until now. Just exasperation11 and despair. But once we decided12 to visit the doctor, webegan to hurry, to fret13. We looked for Wilder's jacket and shoes, tried to remember what he'd eaten in the lasttwenty-four hours, anticipated questions the doctor would ask and rehearsed our answers carefully. It seemed vital toagree on the answers even if we weren't sure they were correct. Doctors lose interest in people who contradict eachother. This fear has long informed my relationship with doctors, that they would lose interest in me, instruct theirreceptionists to call other names before mine, take my dying for granted.

  I waited in the car while Babette and Wilder went into the medical building at the end of Elm. Doctors' officesdepress me even more than hospitals do because of their air of negative expectancy15 and because of the occasionalpatient who leaves with good news, shaking the doctor's antiseptic hand and laughing loudly, laughing at everythingthe doctor says, booming with laughter, with crude power, making a point of ignoring the other patients as he walkspast the waiting room still laughing provocatively— he is already clear of them, no longer associated with theirweekly gloom, their anxious inferior dying. I would rather visit an emergency ward16, some urban well of trembling,where people come in gut-shot, slashed17, sleepy-eyed with opium18 compounds, broken needles in their arms. Thesethings have nothing to do with my own eventual19 death, nonviolent, small-town, thoughtful.

  They came out of the small bright lobby onto the street. It was cold, empty and dark. The boy walked next to hismother, holding her hand, still crying, and they seemed a picture of such amateurish20 sadness and calamity21 that Inearly started laughing—laughing not at the sadness but at the picture they made of it, at the disparity between theirgrief and its appearances. My feelings of tenderness and pity were undermined by the sight of them crossing thesidewalk in their bundled clothing, the child determinedly22 weeping, his mother drooping23 as she walked, wild-haired,a wretched and pathetic pair. They were inadequate24 to the spoken grief, the great single-minded anguish25. Does thisexplain the existence of professional mourners? They keep a wake from lapsing26 into comic pathos27.

  "What did the doctor say?""Give him an aspirin28 and put him to bed.""That's what Denise said.""I told him that. He said, 'Well, why didn't you do it?'""Why didn't we?""She's a child, not a doctor—that's why.""Did you tell him that?""I don't know what I told him," she said, "I'm never in control of what I say to doctors, much less what they say to me.

  There's some kind of disturbance29 in the air.""I know exactly what you mean.""It's like having a conversation during a spacewalk, dangling30 in those heavy suits.""Everything drifts and floats.""I lie to doctors all the time.""So do I.""But why?" she said.

  As I started the car I realized his crying had changed in pitch and quality. The rhythmic urgency had given way to asustained, inarticulate and mournful sound. He was keening now. These were expressions of Mideastern lament31, ofan anguish so accessible that it rushes to overwhelm whatever immediately caused it. There was somethingpermanent and soul-struck in this crying. It was a sound of inbred desolation.

  "What do we do?""Think of something," she said.

  'There's still fifteen minutes before your class is due to start. Let's take him to the hospital, to the emergency entrance.

  Just to see what they say.""You can't take a child to an emergency ward because he's crying. If anything is not an emergency, this would be it.""I'll wait in the car," I said.

  "What do I tell them? 'My child is crying.' Do they even have an emergency ward?""Don't you remember? We took the Stovers this past summer.""Why?""Their car was being repaired.""Never mind.""They inhaled32 the spray mist from some kind of stain remover.""Take me to my class," she said.

  Posture. When I pulled up in front of the church, some of her students were walking down the steps to the basemententrance. Babette looked at her son—a searching, pleading and desperate look. He was in the sixth hour of his crying.

  She ran along the sidewalk and into the building.

  I thought of taking him to the hospital. But if a doctor who examined the boy thoroughly33 in his cozy34 office withpaintings on the wall in elaborate gilded35 frames could find nothing wrong, then what could emergency techniciansdo, people trained to leap on chests and pound at static hearts?

  I picked him up and set him against the steering37 wheel, facing me, his feet on my thighs38. The huge lament continued,wave on wave. It was a sound so large and pure I could almost listen to it, try consciously to apprehend39 it, as one setsup a mental register in a concert hall or theater. He was not sniveling or blubbering. He was crying out, sayingnameless things in a way that touched me with its depth and richness. This was an ancient dirge40 all the moreimpressive for its resolute41 monotony. Ululation. I held him upright with a hand under each arm. As the cryingcontinued, a curious shift developed in my thinking. I found that I did not necessarily wish him to stop. It might notbe so terrible, I thought, to have to sit and listen to this a while longer. We looked at each other. Behind that dopeycountenance, a complex intelligence operated. I held him with one hand, using the other to count his fingers insidethe mittens42, aloud, in German. The inconsolable crying went on. I let it wash over me, like rain in sheets. I entered it,in a sense. I let it fall and tumble across my face and chest. I began to think he had disappeared inside this wailingnoise and if I could join him in his lost and suspended place we might together perform some reckless wonder ofintelligibility. I let it break across my body. It might not be so terrible, I thought, to have to sit here for four morehours, with the motor running and the heater on, listening to this uniform lament. It might be good, it might bestrangely soothing4. I entered it, fell into it, letting it enfold and cover me. He cried with his eyes open, his eyes closed,his hands in his pockets, his mittens on and off. I sat there nodding sagely43.

  On an impulse I turned him around, sat him on my lap and started up the car, letting Wilder steer36. We'd done thisonce before, for a distance of twenty yards, at Sunday dusk, in August, our street deep in drowsy44 shadow. Again heresponded, crying as he steered45, as we turned corners, as I brought the car to a halt back at the Congregational church.

  I set him on my left leg, an arm around him, drawing him toward me, and let my mind drift toward near sleep. Thesound moved into a fitful distance. Now and then a car went by. I leaned against the door, faintly aware of his breathon my thumb. Some time later Babette was knocking on the window and Wilder was crawling across the seat to liftthe latch46 for her. She got in, adjusted his hat, picked a crumpled47 tissue off the floor.

  We were halfway48 home when the crying stopped. It stopped suddenly, without a change in tone and intensity49.

  Babette said nothing, I kept my eyes on the road. He sat between us, looking into the radio. I waited for Babette toglance at me behind his back, over his head, to show relief, happiness, hopeful suspense50. I didn't know how I felt andwanted a clue. But she looked straight ahead as if fearful that any change in the sensitive texture51 of sound, movement,expression would cause the crying to break out again.

  At the house no one spoke3. They all moved quietly from room to room, watching him distantly, with sneaky andrespectful looks. When he asked for some milk, Denise ran softly to the kitchen, barefoot, in her pajamas52, sensingthat by economy of movement and lightness of step she might keep from disturbing the grave and dramatic air he hadbrought with him into the house. He drank the milk down in a single powerful swallow, still fully14 dressed, a mittenpinned to his sleeve.

  They watched him with something like awe53. Nearly seven straight hours of serious crying. It was as though he'd justreturned from a period of wandering in some remote and holy place, in sand barrens or snowy ranges—a place wherethings are said, sights are seen, distances reached which we in our ordinary toil54 can only regard with the mingledreverence and wonder we hold in reserve for feats55 of the most sublime56 and difficult dimensions.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
2 supplicating c2c45889543fd1441cea5e0d32682c3f     
v.祈求,哀求,恳求( supplicate的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • She stammered a few supplicating words. 她吞吞吐吐说了一些求情的话。 来自互联网
3 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
4 soothing soothing     
adj.慰藉的;使人宽心的;镇静的
参考例句:
  • Put on some nice soothing music.播放一些柔和舒缓的音乐。
  • His casual, relaxed manner was very soothing.他随意而放松的举动让人很快便平静下来。
5 soothingly soothingly     
adv.抚慰地,安慰地;镇痛地
参考例句:
  • The mother talked soothingly to her child. 母亲对自己的孩子安慰地说。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He continued to talk quietly and soothingly to the girl until her frightened grip on his arm was relaxed. 他继续柔声安慰那姑娘,她那因恐惧而紧抓住他的手终于放松了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
6 caressed de08c4fb4b79b775b2f897e6e8db9aad     
爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • His fingers caressed the back of her neck. 他的手指抚摩着她的后颈。
  • He caressed his wife lovingly. 他怜爱万分地抚摸着妻子。
7 tickled 2db1470d48948f1aa50b3cf234843b26     
(使)发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)愉快,逗乐
参考例句:
  • We were tickled pink to see our friends on television. 在电视中看到我们的一些朋友,我们高兴极了。
  • I tickled the baby's feet and made her laugh. 我胳肢孩子的脚,使她发笑。
8 rhythmic rXexv     
adj.有节奏的,有韵律的
参考例句:
  • Her breathing became more rhythmic.她的呼吸变得更有规律了。
  • Good breathing is slow,rhythmic and deep.健康的呼吸方式缓慢深沉而有节奏。
9 exhausted 7taz4r     
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的
参考例句:
  • It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长,到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
  • Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。
10 jack 53Hxp     
n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克
参考例句:
  • I am looking for the headphone jack.我正在找寻头戴式耳机插孔。
  • He lifted the car with a jack to change the flat tyre.他用千斤顶把车顶起来换下瘪轮胎。
11 exasperation HiyzX     
n.愤慨
参考例句:
  • He snorted with exasperation.他愤怒地哼了一声。
  • She rolled her eyes in sheer exasperation.她气急败坏地转动着眼珠。
12 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
13 fret wftzl     
v.(使)烦恼;(使)焦急;(使)腐蚀,(使)磨损
参考例句:
  • Don't fret.We'll get there on time.别着急,我们能准时到那里。
  • She'll fret herself to death one of these days.她总有一天会愁死的.
14 fully Gfuzd     
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地
参考例句:
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
15 expectancy tlMys     
n.期望,预期,(根据概率统计求得)预期数额
参考例句:
  • Japanese people have a very high life expectancy.日本人的平均寿命非常长。
  • The atomosphere of tense expectancy sobered everyone.这种期望的紧张气氛使每个人变得严肃起来。
16 ward LhbwY     
n.守卫,监护,病房,行政区,由监护人或法院保护的人(尤指儿童);vt.守护,躲开
参考例句:
  • The hospital has a medical ward and a surgical ward.这家医院有内科病房和外科病房。
  • During the evening picnic,I'll carry a torch to ward off the bugs.傍晚野餐时,我要点根火把,抵挡蚊虫。
17 slashed 8ff3ba5a4258d9c9f9590cbbb804f2db     
v.挥砍( slash的过去式和过去分词 );鞭打;割破;削减
参考例句:
  • Someone had slashed the tyres on my car. 有人把我的汽车轮胎割破了。
  • He slashed the bark off the tree with his knife. 他用刀把树皮从树上砍下。 来自《简明英汉词典》
18 opium c40zw     
n.鸦片;adj.鸦片的
参考例句:
  • That man gave her a dose of opium.那男人给了她一剂鸦片。
  • Opium is classed under the head of narcotic.鸦片是归入麻醉剂一类的东西。
19 eventual AnLx8     
adj.最后的,结局的,最终的
参考例句:
  • Several schools face eventual closure.几所学校面临最终关闭。
  • Both parties expressed optimism about an eventual solution.双方对问题的最终解决都表示乐观。
20 amateurish AoSy6     
n.业余爱好的,不熟练的
参考例句:
  • The concert was rather an amateurish affair.这场音乐会颇有些外行客串的味道。
  • The paintings looked amateurish.这些画作看起来只具备业余水准。
21 calamity nsizM     
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件
参考例句:
  • Even a greater natural calamity cannot daunt us. 再大的自然灾害也压不垮我们。
  • The attack on Pearl Harbor was a crushing calamity.偷袭珍珠港(对美军来说)是一场毁灭性的灾难。
22 determinedly f36257cec58d5bd4b23fb76b1dd9d64f     
adv.决意地;坚决地,坚定地
参考例句:
  • "Don't shove me,'said one of the strikers, determinedly. "I'm not doing anything." “别推我,"其中的一个罢工工人坚决地说,"我可没干什么。” 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
  • Dorothy's chin set determinedly as she looked calmly at him. 多萝西平静地看着他,下巴绷得紧紧的,看来是打定主意了。 来自名作英译部分
23 drooping drooping     
adj. 下垂的,无力的 动词droop的现在分词
参考例句:
  • The drooping willows are waving gently in the morning breeze. 晨风中垂柳袅袅。
  • The branches of the drooping willows were swaying lightly. 垂柳轻飘飘地摆动。
24 inadequate 2kzyk     
adj.(for,to)不充足的,不适当的
参考例句:
  • The supply is inadequate to meet the demand.供不应求。
  • She was inadequate to the demands that were made on her.她还无力满足对她提出的各项要求。
25 anguish awZz0     
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼
参考例句:
  • She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时,她由于痛苦而失声大哭。
  • The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。
26 lapsing 65e81da1f4c567746d2fd7c1679977c2     
v.退步( lapse的现在分词 );陷入;倒退;丧失
参考例句:
  • He tried to say, but his voice kept lapsing. 他是想说这句话,可已经抖得语不成声了。 来自辞典例句
  • I saw the pavement lapsing beneath my feet. 我看到道路在我脚下滑过。 来自辞典例句
27 pathos dLkx2     
n.哀婉,悲怆
参考例句:
  • The pathos of the situation brought tears to our eyes.情况令人怜悯,看得我们不禁流泪。
  • There is abundant pathos in her words.她的话里富有动人哀怜的力量。
28 aspirin 4yszpM     
n.阿司匹林
参考例句:
  • The aspirin seems to quiet the headache.阿司匹林似乎使头痛减轻了。
  • She went into a chemist's and bought some aspirin.她进了一家药店,买了些阿司匹林。
29 disturbance BsNxk     
n.动乱,骚动;打扰,干扰;(身心)失调
参考例句:
  • He is suffering an emotional disturbance.他的情绪受到了困扰。
  • You can work in here without any disturbance.在这儿你可不受任何干扰地工作。
30 dangling 4930128e58930768b1c1c75026ebc649     
悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 ); 摆动不定; 用某事物诱惑…; 吊胃口
参考例句:
  • The tooth hung dangling by the bedpost, now. 结果,那颗牙就晃来晃去吊在床柱上了。
  • The children sat on the high wall,their legs dangling. 孩子们坐在一堵高墙上,摇晃着他们的双腿。
31 lament u91zi     
n.悲叹,悔恨,恸哭;v.哀悼,悔恨,悲叹
参考例句:
  • Her face showed lament.她的脸上露出悲伤的样子。
  • We lament the dead.我们哀悼死者。
32 inhaled 1072d9232d676d367b2f48410158ae32     
v.吸入( inhale的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. 她合上双眼,深深吸了一口气。
  • Janet inhaled sharply when she saw him. 珍妮特看到他时猛地吸了口气。 来自《简明英汉词典》
33 thoroughly sgmz0J     
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地
参考例句:
  • The soil must be thoroughly turned over before planting.一定要先把土地深翻一遍再下种。
  • The soldiers have been thoroughly instructed in the care of their weapons.士兵们都系统地接受过保护武器的训练。
34 cozy ozdx0     
adj.亲如手足的,密切的,暖和舒服的
参考例句:
  • I like blankets because they are cozy.我喜欢毛毯,因为他们是舒适的。
  • We spent a cozy evening chatting by the fire.我们在炉火旁聊天度过了一个舒适的晚上。
35 gilded UgxxG     
a.镀金的,富有的
参考例句:
  • The golden light gilded the sea. 金色的阳光使大海如金子般闪闪发光。
  • "Friends, they are only gilded disks of lead!" "朋友们,这只不过是些镀金的铅饼! 来自英汉文学 - 败坏赫德莱堡
36 steer 5u5w3     
vt.驾驶,为…操舵;引导;vi.驾驶
参考例句:
  • If you push the car, I'll steer it.如果你来推车,我就来驾车。
  • It's no use trying to steer the boy into a course of action that suits you.想说服这孩子按你的方式行事是徒劳的。
37 steering 3hRzbi     
n.操舵装置
参考例句:
  • He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration. 他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。
  • Steering according to the wind, he also framed his words more amicably. 他真会看风使舵,口吻也马上变得温和了。
38 thighs e4741ffc827755fcb63c8b296150ab4e     
n.股,大腿( thigh的名词复数 );食用的鸡(等的)腿
参考例句:
  • He's gone to London for skin grafts on his thighs. 他去伦敦做大腿植皮手术了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The water came up to the fisherman's thighs. 水没到了渔夫的大腿。 来自《简明英汉词典》
39 apprehend zvqzq     
vt.理解,领悟,逮捕,拘捕,忧虑
参考例句:
  • I apprehend no worsening of the situation.我不担心局势会恶化。
  • Police have not apprehended her killer.警察还未抓获谋杀她的凶手。
40 dirge Zudxf     
n.哀乐,挽歌,庄重悲哀的乐曲
参考例句:
  • She threw down her basket and intoned a peasant dirge.她撂下菜篮,唱起庄稼人的哀歌。
  • The stranger,after listening for a moment,joined in the mournful dirge.听了一会儿后这个陌生人也跟著唱起了悲哀的挽歌。
41 resolute 2sCyu     
adj.坚决的,果敢的
参考例句:
  • He was resolute in carrying out his plan.他坚决地实行他的计划。
  • The Egyptians offered resolute resistance to the aggressors.埃及人对侵略者作出坚决的反抗。
42 mittens 258752c6b0652a69c52ceed3c65dbf00     
不分指手套
参考例句:
  • Cotton mittens will prevent the baby from scratching his own face. 棉的连指手套使婴儿不会抓伤自己的脸。
  • I'd fisted my hands inside their mittens to keep the fingers warm. 我在手套中握拳头来保暖手指。
43 sagely sagely     
adv. 贤能地,贤明地
参考例句:
  • Even the ones who understand may nod sagely. 即使对方知道这一点,也会一本正经地点头同意。
  • Well, that's about all of the sagely advice this old grey head can come up with. 好了,以上就是我这个满头银发的老头儿给你们的充满睿智的忠告。
44 drowsy DkYz3     
adj.昏昏欲睡的,令人发困的
参考例句:
  • Exhaust fumes made him drowsy and brought on a headache.废气把他熏得昏昏沉沉,还引起了头疼。
  • I feel drowsy after lunch every day.每天午饭后我就想睡觉。
45 steered dee52ce2903883456c9b7a7f258660e5     
v.驾驶( steer的过去式和过去分词 );操纵;控制;引导
参考例句:
  • He steered the boat into the harbour. 他把船开进港。
  • The freighter steered out of Santiago Bay that evening. 那天晚上货轮驶出了圣地亚哥湾。 来自《简明英汉词典》
46 latch g2wxS     
n.门闩,窗闩;弹簧锁
参考例句:
  • She laid her hand on the latch of the door.她把手放在门闩上。
  • The repairman installed an iron latch on the door.修理工在门上安了铁门闩。
47 crumpled crumpled     
adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式
参考例句:
  • She crumpled the letter up into a ball and threw it on the fire. 她把那封信揉成一团扔进了火里。
  • She flattened out the crumpled letter on the desk. 她在写字台上把皱巴巴的信展平。
48 halfway Xrvzdq     
adj.中途的,不彻底的,部分的;adv.半路地,在中途,在半途
参考例句:
  • We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路,天就黑了。
  • In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上,最忌讳的是有始无终。
49 intensity 45Ixd     
n.强烈,剧烈;强度;烈度
参考例句:
  • I didn't realize the intensity of people's feelings on this issue.我没有意识到这一问题能引起群情激奋。
  • The strike is growing in intensity.罢工日益加剧。
50 suspense 9rJw3     
n.(对可能发生的事)紧张感,担心,挂虑
参考例句:
  • The suspense was unbearable.这样提心吊胆的状况实在叫人受不了。
  • The director used ingenious devices to keep the audience in suspense.导演用巧妙手法引起观众的悬念。
51 texture kpmwQ     
n.(织物)质地;(材料)构造;结构;肌理
参考例句:
  • We could feel the smooth texture of silk.我们能感觉出丝绸的光滑质地。
  • Her skin has a fine texture.她的皮肤细腻。
52 pajamas XmvzDN     
n.睡衣裤
参考例句:
  • At bedtime,I take off my clothes and put on my pajamas.睡觉时,我脱去衣服,换上睡衣。
  • He was wearing striped pajamas.他穿着带条纹的睡衣裤。
53 awe WNqzC     
n.敬畏,惊惧;vt.使敬畏,使惊惧
参考例句:
  • The sight filled us with awe.这景色使我们大为惊叹。
  • The approaching tornado struck awe in our hearts.正在逼近的龙卷风使我们惊恐万分。
54 toil WJezp     
vi.辛劳工作,艰难地行动;n.苦工,难事
参考例句:
  • The wealth comes from the toil of the masses.财富来自大众的辛勤劳动。
  • Every single grain is the result of toil.每一粒粮食都来之不易。
55 feats 8b538e09d25672d5e6ed5058f2318d51     
功绩,伟业,技艺( feat的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • He used to astound his friends with feats of physical endurance. 过去,他表现出来的惊人耐力常让朋友们大吃一惊。
  • His heroic feats made him a legend in his own time. 他的英雄业绩使他成了他那个时代的传奇人物。
56 sublime xhVyW     
adj.崇高的,伟大的;极度的,不顾后果的
参考例句:
  • We should take some time to enjoy the sublime beauty of nature.我们应该花些时间去欣赏大自然的壮丽景象。
  • Olympic games play as an important arena to exhibit the sublime idea.奥运会,就是展示此崇高理念的重要舞台。


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