It was not until Puddock had returned, that the gallant1 fireworker recollected2 all on a sudden that he had swallowed one of the bags.
‘Thwallowed?— thwallowed it!’ said Puddock, looking very blank and uncomfortable; ‘why, Thir, I told you you were to be very careful.’
‘Why, why curse it, it’s not, ‘tisn’t ——’
‘There was a long pause, and O’Flaherty stared a very frightened and hideous3 stare at the proprietor4 of the red quarto.
‘Not what, Thir?’ demanded Puddock, briskly, but plainly disconcerted.
‘Not anything — anything bad — or, or — there’s no use in purtendin’, Puddock,’ he resumed, turning quite yellow. ‘I see, Sir, I see by your looks, it’s what you think, I’m poisoned!’
‘I— I— do not, Thir, think you’re poisoned,’ he replied indignantly, but with some flurry; ‘that is, there’s a great deal in it that could not pothibly do you harm — there’s only one ingredient, yes — or, or, yes, perhapth three, but thertainly no more, that I don’t quite know about, depend upon it, ’tis nothing — a — nothing — a — seriouthly — a — But why, my dear Thir, why on earth did you violate the thimple directions — why did you thwallow a particle of it?’
‘Och, why did I let it into my mouth at all — the divil go with it!’ retorted poor O’Flaherty; ‘an’ wasn’t I the born eediot to put them devil’s dumplins inside my mouth? but I did not know what I was doin’— no more I didn’t.’
‘I hope your head’th better,’ said Puddock, vindicating5 by that dignified6 enquiry the character of his recipe.
‘Auch! my head be smathered, what the puck do I care about it?’ O’Flaherty broke out. ‘Ah, why the devil, Puddock, do you keep them ould women’s charrums and devilments about you?— you’ll be the death of some one yet, so you will.’
‘It’s a recipe, Sir,’ replied Puddock, with the same dignity ‘from which my great uncle, General Neagle, derived7 frequent benefit.’
‘And here I am,’ says O’Flaherty, vehemently8; ‘and you don’t know whether I’m poisoned or no!’
At this moment he saw Dr. Sturk passing by, and drummed violently at the window. The doctor was impressed by the summons; for however queer the apparition9, it was plain he was desperately10 in earnest.
‘Let’s see the recipe,’ said Sturk, drily; ‘you think you’re poisoned — I know you do;’ poor O’Flaherty had shrunk from disclosing the extent of his apprehensions11, and only beat about the bush; ‘and if you be, I lay you fifty, I can’t save you, nor all the doctors in Dublin — show me the recipe.’
Puddock put it before him, and Sturk looked at the back of the volume with a leisurely12 disdain13, but finding no title there, returned to the recipe. They both stared on his face, without breathing, while he conned14 it over. When he came about half-way, he whistled; and when he arrived at the end, he frowned hard; and squeezed his lips together till the red disappeared altogether, and he looked again at the back of the book, and then turned it round, once more reading the last line over with a severe expression.
‘And so you actually swallowed this — this devil’s dose, Sir, did you?’ demanded Sturk.
‘I— I believe he did, some of it; but I warned him, I did, upon my honour! Now, tell him, did I not warn you, my dear lieutenant15, not to thwallow,’ interposed little Puddock, who began to grow confoundedly agitated16; but Sturk, who rather liked shocking and frightening people, and had a knack17 of making bad worse, and an alacrity18 in waxing savage19 without adequate cause, silenced him with —
‘I p-pity you, Sir,’ and ‘pity’ shot like a pellet from his lips. ‘Why the deuce will you dabble20 in medicine, Sir? Do you think it’s a thing to be learnt in an afternoon out of the bottom of an old cookery-book?’
‘Cookery-book! excuse me, Dr. Sturk,’ replied Puddock offended. ‘I’m given to underthtand, Sir, it’s to be found in Culpepper.’
‘Culpepper!’ said Sturk, viciously. ‘Cull-poison — you have peppered him to a purpose, I promise you! How much of it, pray, Sir (to O’Flaherty,) have you got in your stomach?’
‘Tell him, Puddock,’ said O’Flaherty, helplessly.
‘Only a trifle I assure you,’ extenuated21 Puddock (I need not spell his lisp), ‘in a little muslin bag, about the size of the top joint22 of a lady’s little finger.’
‘Top joint o’ the devil!’ roared O’Flaherty, bitterly, rousing himself; ‘I tell you, Dr. Sturk, it was as big as my thumb, and a miracle it did not choke me.’
‘It may do that job for you yet, Sir,’ sneered23 the doctor with a stern disgust. ‘I dare say you feel pretty hot here?’ jerking his finger into his stomach.
‘And — and — and — what is it?— is it — do you think it’s anything — anyways — dangerous?’ faltered24 poor O’Flaherty.
‘Dangerous!’ responded Sturk, with an angry chuckle25 — indeed, he was specially26 vindictive27 against lay intruders upon the mystery of his craft; ‘why, yes — ha,— ha!— just maybe a little. It’s only poison, Sir, deadly, barefaced28 poison!’ he began sardonically29, with a grin, and ended with a black glare and a knock on the table, like an auctioneer’s ‘gone!’
‘There are no less than two — three — five mortal poisons in it,’ said the doctor with emphatic30 acerbity31. ‘You and Mr. Puddock will allow that’s rather strong.’
O’Flaherty sat down and looked at Sturk, and wiping his damp face and forehead, he got up without appearing to know where he was going. Puddock stood with his hands in his breeches pockets, staring with his little round eyes on the doctor, I must confess, with a very foolish and rather guilty vacuity32 all over his plump face, rigid33 and speechless, for three or four seconds; then he put his hand, which did actually tremble, upon the doctor’s arm, and he said, very thickly —
‘I feel, Sir, you’re right; it is my fault, Sir, I’ve poisoned him — merthiful goodneth!— I— I—’
Puddock’s address acted for a moment on O’Flaherty. He came up to him pale and queer, like a somnambulist, and shook his fingers very cordially with a very cold grasp.
‘If it was the last word I ever spoke34, Puddock, you’re a good-natured — he’s a gentleman, Sir — and it was all my own fault; he warned me, he did, again’ swallyin’ a dhrop of it — remember what I’m saying, doctor —’twas I that done it; I was always a botch, Puddock, an’ a fool; and — and — gentlemen — good-bye.’
And the flowered dressing35-gown and ungartered stockings disappeared through the door into the bed-room, from whence they heard a great souse on the bed, and the bedstead gave a dismal36 groan37.
‘Is there;— is there nothing, doctor — for mercy’s sake, think — doctor, do — I conjure38 you — pray think — there must be something’— urged Puddock, imploringly39.
‘Ay, that’s the way, Sir, fellows quacking40 themselves and one another; when they get frightened, and with good reason, come to us and expect miracles; but as in this case, the quantity was not very much, ’tis not, you see, overpowering, and he may do if he takes what I’ll send him.’
Puddock was already at his bedside, shaking his hand hysterically41, and tumbling his words out one over the other —
‘You’re thafe, my dear Thir — dum thpiro thpero — he thayth — Dr. Thturk — he can thave you, my dear Thir — my dear lieutenant — my dear O’Flaherty — he can thave you, Thir — thafe and thound, Thir.’
O’Flaherty, who had turned his face to the wall in the bitterness of his situation — for like some other men, he had the intensest horror of death when he came peaceably to his bedside, though ready enough to meet him with a ‘hurrah!’ and a wave of his rapier, if he arrived at a moment’s notice, with due dash and eclat42 — sat up like a shot, and gaping43 upon Puddock for a few seconds, relieved himself with a long sigh, a devotional upward roll of the eyes, and some muttered words, of which the little ensign heard only ‘blessing,’ very fervently44, and ‘catch me again,’ and ‘divil bellows45 it;’ and forthwith out came one of the fireworker’s long shanks, and O’Flaherty insisted on dressing, shaving, and otherwise preparing as a gentleman and an officer, with great gaiety of heart, to meet his fate on the Fifteen Acres.
In due time arrived the antidote46. It was enclosed in a gallipot, and was what I believe they called an electuary. I don’t know whether it is an obsolete47 abomination now, but it looked like brick-dust and treacle48, and what it was made of even Puddock could not divine. O’Flaherty, that great Hibernian athlete, unconsciously winced49 and shuddered50 like a child at sight of it. Puddock stirred it with the tip of a tea-spoon, and looked into it with inquisitive51 disgust, and seemed to smell it from a distance, lost for a minute in inward conjecture52, and then with a slight bow, pushed it ceremoniously toward his brother in arms.
‘There is not much the matter with me now — I feel well enough,’ said O’Flaherty, mildly, and eyeing the mixture askance; and after a little while he looked at Puddock. That disciplinarian understood the look, and said, peremptorily53, shaking up his little powdered head, and lisping vehemently —
‘Lieutenant O’Flaherty, Sir! I insist on your instantly taking that physic. How you may feel, Sir, has nothing to do with it. If you hesitate, I withdraw my sanction to your going to the field, Sir. There’s no — there can be-no earthly excuse but a — a miserable54 objection to a — swallowing a — recipe, Sir — that isn’t — that is may be-not intended to please the palate, but to save your life, Sir,— remember. Sir, you’ve swallowed a — you — you require, Sir — you don’t think I fear to say it, Sir!— you have swallowed that you ought not to have swallowed, and don’t, Sir — don’t — for both our sakes — for Heaven’s sake — I implore55 — and insist — don’t trifle, Sir.’
O’Flaherty felt himself passing under the chill and dismal shadow of death once more, such was the eloquence56 of Puddock, and so impressible his own nature, as he followed the appeal of his second. ‘Life is sweet;’ and, though the compound was nauseous, and a necessity upon him of swallowing it in horrid57 instalments, spoonful after spoonful, yet, though not without many interruptions, and many a shocking apostrophe, and even some sudden paroxysms of horror, which alarmed Puddock, he did contrive58 to get through it pretty well, except a little residuum in the bottom, which Puddock wisely connived59 at.
The clink of a horse-shoe drew Puddock to the window. Sturk riding into town, reined60 in his generous beast, and called up to the little lieutenant.
‘Well, he’s taken it, eh?’
Puddock smiled a pleasant smile and nodded.
‘Walk him about, then, for an hour or so, and he’ll do.’
‘Thank you, Sir,’ said little Puddock, gaily61.
‘Don’t thank me, Sir, either of you, but remember the lesson you’ve got,’ said the doctor, tartly62, and away he plunged63 into a sharp trot64, with a cling-clang and a cloud of dust. And Puddock followed that ungracious leech65, with a stare of gratitude66 and admiration67, almost with a benediction68. And his anxiety relieved, he and his principal prepared forthwith to provide real work for the surgeons.
1 gallant | |
adj.英勇的,豪侠的;(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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2 recollected | |
adj.冷静的;镇定的;被回忆起的;沉思默想的v.记起,想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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3 hideous | |
adj.丑陋的,可憎的,可怕的,恐怖的 | |
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4 proprietor | |
n.所有人;业主;经营者 | |
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5 vindicating | |
v.澄清(某人/某事物)受到的责难或嫌疑( vindicate的现在分词 );表明或证明(所争辩的事物)属实、正当、有效等;维护 | |
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6 dignified | |
a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
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7 derived | |
vi.起源;由来;衍生;导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 );(从…中)得到获得;源于;(从…中)提取 | |
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8 vehemently | |
adv. 热烈地 | |
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9 apparition | |
n.幽灵,神奇的现象 | |
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10 desperately | |
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地 | |
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11 apprehensions | |
疑惧 | |
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12 leisurely | |
adj.悠闲的;从容的,慢慢的 | |
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13 disdain | |
n.鄙视,轻视;v.轻视,鄙视,不屑 | |
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14 conned | |
adj.被骗了v.指挥操舵( conn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15 lieutenant | |
n.陆军中尉,海军上尉;代理官员,副职官员 | |
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16 agitated | |
adj.被鼓动的,不安的 | |
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17 knack | |
n.诀窍,做事情的灵巧的,便利的方法 | |
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18 alacrity | |
n.敏捷,轻快,乐意 | |
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19 savage | |
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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20 dabble | |
v.涉足,浅赏 | |
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21 extenuated | |
v.(用偏袒的辩解或借口)减轻( extenuate的过去式和过去分词 );低估,藐视 | |
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22 joint | |
adj.联合的,共同的;n.关节,接合处;v.连接,贴合 | |
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23 sneered | |
讥笑,冷笑( sneer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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24 faltered | |
(嗓音)颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 ); 支吾其词; 蹒跚; 摇晃 | |
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25 chuckle | |
vi./n.轻声笑,咯咯笑 | |
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26 specially | |
adv.特定地;特殊地;明确地 | |
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27 vindictive | |
adj.有报仇心的,怀恨的,惩罚的 | |
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28 barefaced | |
adj.厚颜无耻的,公然的 | |
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29 sardonically | |
adv.讽刺地,冷嘲地 | |
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30 emphatic | |
adj.强调的,着重的;无可置疑的,明显的 | |
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31 acerbity | |
n.涩,酸,刻薄 | |
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32 vacuity | |
n.(想象力等)贫乏,无聊,空白 | |
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33 rigid | |
adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
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34 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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35 dressing | |
n.(食物)调料;包扎伤口的用品,敷料 | |
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36 dismal | |
adj.阴沉的,凄凉的,令人忧郁的,差劲的 | |
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37 groan | |
vi./n.呻吟,抱怨;(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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38 conjure | |
v.恳求,祈求;变魔术,变戏法 | |
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39 imploringly | |
adv. 恳求地, 哀求地 | |
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40 quacking | |
v.(鸭子)发出嘎嘎声( quack的现在分词 ) | |
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41 hysterically | |
ad. 歇斯底里地 | |
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42 eclat | |
n.显赫之成功,荣誉 | |
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43 gaping | |
adj.口的;张口的;敞口的;多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 );张开,张大 | |
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44 fervently | |
adv.热烈地,热情地,强烈地 | |
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45 bellows | |
n.风箱;发出吼叫声,咆哮(尤指因痛苦)( bellow的名词复数 );(愤怒地)说出(某事),大叫v.发出吼叫声,咆哮(尤指因痛苦)( bellow的第三人称单数 );(愤怒地)说出(某事),大叫 | |
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46 antidote | |
n.解毒药,解毒剂 | |
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47 obsolete | |
adj.已废弃的,过时的 | |
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48 treacle | |
n.糖蜜 | |
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49 winced | |
赶紧避开,畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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50 shuddered | |
v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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51 inquisitive | |
adj.求知欲强的,好奇的,好寻根究底的 | |
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52 conjecture | |
n./v.推测,猜测 | |
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53 peremptorily | |
adv.紧急地,不容分说地,专横地 | |
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54 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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55 implore | |
vt.乞求,恳求,哀求 | |
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56 eloquence | |
n.雄辩;口才,修辞 | |
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57 horrid | |
adj.可怕的;令人惊恐的;恐怖的;极讨厌的 | |
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58 contrive | |
vt.谋划,策划;设法做到;设计,想出 | |
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59 connived | |
v.密谋 ( connive的过去式和过去分词 );搞阴谋;默许;纵容 | |
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60 reined | |
勒缰绳使(马)停步( rein的过去式和过去分词 ); 驾驭; 严格控制; 加强管理 | |
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61 gaily | |
adv.欢乐地,高兴地 | |
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62 tartly | |
adv.辛辣地,刻薄地 | |
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63 plunged | |
v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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64 trot | |
n.疾走,慢跑;n.老太婆;现成译本;(复数)trots:腹泻(与the 连用);v.小跑,快步走,赶紧 | |
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65 leech | |
n.水蛭,吸血鬼,榨取他人利益的人;vt.以水蛭吸血;vi.依附于别人 | |
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66 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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67 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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68 benediction | |
n.祝福;恩赐 | |
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