“Who’s asking?” I say.
“Me.”
I give her my most charming smile. “Then here I am.”
Let me just step back for a moment and tell you that she’s older than me, but with every glance that makesless and less of a difference—she’s got hair I could get lost in, and a mouth so soft and full I have a hard timetearing my eyes away to check out the rest of her. I’m itching1 to get my hands on her skin—even the ordinaryparts—just to see if it feels as smooth as it looks.
“I’m Julia Romano,” she says. “I’m a guardian2 ad litem.”
All the violins soaring in my veins3 screech4 to a stop. “Is that like a cop?”
“No, I’m an attorney, and I’m working with a judge to help your sister.”
“You mean Kate?”
Something in her face tightens5. “I mean Anna. She filed a lawsuit6 for medical emancipation7 from yourparents.”
“Oh, yeah. I know about that.”
“Really?” This seems to surprise her, as if defiance8 is something Anna’s cornered the market on. “Do youhappen to know where she is?”
I glance at the house, dark and empty. “Am I my sister’s keeper?” I say. Then I grin at her. “If you feel likewaiting, you can come up and see my etchings.”
To my shock, she agrees. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. I’d like to talk to you.”
I lean against the door again and cross my arms, so that my biceps flex9. I give her the grin that’s stopped halfthe female population of Roger Williams University in their tracks. “You got plans for tonight?”
She stares at me like I’ve just spoken Greek. No, damn, she’d probably understand Greek. Martian. Orfreaking Vulcan. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
“I’m sure as hell trying,” I say.
“You’re sure as hell failing,” she responds flatly. “I’m old enough to be your mother.”
“You have the most fantastic eyes.” By eyes, I mean tits, but whatever.
Julia Romano chooses that moment to button her suit jacket, which makes me laugh out loud. “Why don’t wejust talk here?”
“Whatever,” I say, and I lead her up to my apartment.
Given what it usually looks like, the place isn’t so bad. The dishes on the counter are only a day or two old;and spilled cereal isn’t nearly as bad to come home to after a full day as spilled milk. On the middle of thefloor is a bucket and rag and container of gas; I’m working up some firesticks. There are clothes all over thefloor, some artfully arranged to minimize the effect of a leak in my moonshine still.
“What do you think?” I smile at her. “Martha Stewart would love it, huh?”
“Martha Stewart would make you her life project,” Julia murmurs11. She sits down on the couch, leaps up, andremoves a handful of potato chips that have, holy God, already left a grease print in the shape of a heart onher sweet ass12.
“You want a drink?” Don’t let it be said my mother never taught me manners.
She glances around, then shakes her head. “I’ll pass.”
Shrugging, I pull a Labatt’s out of the fridge. “So there’s been a little fallout along the home front?”
“Wouldn’t you know?”
“I try not to.”
“How come?”
“Because it’s what I do best.” Grinning, I take a nice long pull of my beer. “Although this is one blowout Iwould’ve loved to see.”
“Tell me about Kate and Anna.”
“What am I supposed to tell you?” I swing down next to her on the couch, way too close. On purpose.
“How do you get along with them?”
I lean forward. “Why, Ms. Romano. Are you asking me if I play nice?” When she doesn’t as much as blink, Iknock off the act. “They survive me,” I answer. “Like everyone else.”
This answer must interest her, because she writes something down on her little white pad. “What was it like,growing up in this family?”
A dozen flip13 responses work their way up my throat, but the one that comes out is a totally dark horse.
“When I was twelve, there was this time Kate got sick—not even big sick, just an infection, but she couldn’tseem to get rid of it by herself. So they took Anna in to give granulocytes—white blood cells. It wasn’t likeKate planned it or anything, but it happened to be Christmas Eve. We were supposed to all go out as a family,you know, and get a tree.” I pull a pack of smokes from my pocket. “You mind?” I ask, but I never give her achance to answer before I light up. “I was shuttled over to some neighbor’s house last minute, which sucked,because they were having a nice Christmas Eve with their relatives and kept whispering about me like I was acharity case and deaf to boot. Anyway, that all got lame14 pretty fast, so I said I had to pee and I snuck out. Iwalked home and took one of my dad’s axes and a handsaw and chopped down this little spruce in the middleof the front yard. By the time the neighbor figured out I was gone, I had the whole thing set up in our livingroom in the tree stand, garland, ornaments15, you name it.”
In my mind, I can still see those lights—red and blue and yellow, blinking over and over on a tree asoverdressed as an Eskimo in Bali. “So Christmas morning, my parents come to the neighbors to collect me.
They look like hell, the both of them, but when they bring me home there are presents under the tree. I’m allexcited and I find one with my name on it, and it turns out to be this little windup car—something that wouldhave been great for a three-year-old, but not me, and that I happened to know was for sale in the hospital giftshop. As was every single other present I got that year. Go freaking figure.” I stab my cigarette butt10 out onthe thigh16 of my jeans. “They never even said anything about the tree,” I tell her. “That’s what it’s likegrowing up in this family.”
“Do you think it’s the same for Anna?”
“No. Anna’s on their radar17, because she plays into their grand plan for Kate.”
“How do your parents decide when Anna will help Kate medically?” she asks.
“You make it sound like there’s some process involved. Like there’s actually a choice.”
She lifts her head. “Isn’t there?”
I ignore her, because that’s a rhetorical question if I’ve ever heard one, and stare out the window. In the frontyard, you can still see the stump18 from that spruce. No one in this family ever covers up their mistakes.
When I was seven I got it in my head to dig to China. How hard could it be, I figured—a straight shot, atunnel? I took a shovel19 out of the garage and I started a hole just wide enough for me to slip into. Every nightI would drag the old plastic sandbox cover across it, just in case of rain. For four weeks I worked at this, asthe rocks bit into my arms to make battle scars, and roots grabbed at my ankles.
What I didn’t count on were the tall walls that grew around me, or the belly20 of the planet, hot under mysneakers. Digging straight down, I’d gotten hopelessly lost. In a tunnel, you have to light your own way, andI’ve never been very good at that.
When I yelled out, my father found me in seconds, although I’m sure I waited through several lives. Hecrawled into the pit, torn between my hard work and my stupidity. “This could have collapsed21 on you!” hesaid, and lifted me onto solid ground.
From that point of view, I realized that my hole was not miles deep after all. My father, in fact, could standon the bottom and it only reached up to his chest.
Darkness, you know, is relative.
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收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
itching
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| adj.贪得的，痒的，渴望的v.发痒( itch的现在分词 ) | |
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2
guardian
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| n.监护人；守卫者，保护者 | |
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3
veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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4
screech
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| n./v.尖叫；(发出)刺耳的声音 | |
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5
tightens
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| 收紧( tighten的第三人称单数 )； （使）变紧； （使）绷紧； 加紧 | |
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6
lawsuit
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| n.诉讼，控诉 | |
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7
emancipation
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| n.（从束缚、支配下）解放 | |
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8
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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9
flex
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| n.皮线，花线；vt.弯曲或伸展 | |
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10
butt
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| n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶 | |
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11
murmurs
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| n.低沉、连续而不清的声音( murmur的名词复数 )；低语声；怨言；嘀咕 | |
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12
ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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13
flip
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| vt.快速翻动；轻抛；轻拍；n.轻抛；adj.轻浮的 | |
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14
lame
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| adj.跛的，(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
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15
ornaments
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| n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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16
thigh
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| n.大腿；股骨 | |
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17
radar
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| n.雷达，无线电探测器 | |
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18
stump
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| n.残株，烟蒂，讲演台；v.砍断，蹒跚而走 | |
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19
shovel
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| n.铁锨，铲子，一铲之量；v.铲，铲出 | |
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20
belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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21
collapsed
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| adj.倒塌的 | |
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