At the exit of White Columns sits a black car, curled up like a panther, a burnished1 steel lens reflecting the loglo of Oahu Road. It is a Unit. It is a Mobile Unit of MetaCops Unlimited2. A silvery badge is embossed on its door, a chrome-plated cop badge the size of a dinner plate, bearing the name of said private peace organization and emblazoned
DIAL 1-800-THE COPS
All Major Credit Cards
MetaCops Unlimited is the official peacekeeping force of White Columns, and also of The Mews at Windsor Heights, The Heights at Bear Run, Cinnamon Grove3, and The Farms of Cloverdelle. They also enforce traffic regulations on all highways and byways operated by Fairlanes, Inc. A few different FOQNEs also use them: Caymans Plus and The Alps, for example. But franchise4 nations prefer to have their own security force. You can bet that Metazania and New South Africa handle their own security; that's the only reason people become citizens, so they can get drafted. Obviously, Nova Sicilia has its own security, too. Narcolombia doesn't need security because people are scared just to drive past the franchise at less than a hundred miles an hour (Y.T. always snags a nifty power boost in neighborhoods thick with Narcolombia consulates), and Mr. Lee's Greater Hong Kong, the grandaddy of all FOQNEs, handles it in a typically Hong Kong way, with robots.
MetaCops' main competitor, WorldBeat Security, handles all roads belonging to Cruiseways, plus has worldwide contracts with Dixie Traditionals, Pickett's Plantation5, Rainbow Heights (check it out -- two apartheid Burbclaves and one for black suits), Meadowvale on the [insert name of river] and Brickyard Station. WorldBeat is smaller than MetaCops, handles more upscale contracts, supposedly has a bigger espionage6 arm -- though if that's what people want, they just talk to an account rep at the Central Intelligence Corporation. And then there's The Enforcers -- but they cost a lot and don't take well to supervision7. It is rumored8 that, under their uniforms, they wear T-shirts bearing the unofficial Enforcer coat of arms: a fist holding a nightstick, emblazoned with the words SUE ME.
So Y.T. is coasting down a gradual slope toward the heavy iron gate of White Columns, waiting for it to roll aside, waiting, waiting -- but the gate does not seem to be opening. No laser pulse has shot out of the guard shack9 to find out who Y.T. is. The system has been overridden10. If Y.T. was a stupid ped she would go up to the MetaCop and ask him why. The MetaCop would say, "The security of the city-state," and nothing more. These Burbclaves! These city-states! So small, so insecure, that just about everything, like not mowing11 your lawn, or playing your stereo too loud, becomes a national security issue.
No way to skate around the fence; White Columns has eight-foot iron, robo-wrought, all the way around. She rolls up to the gate, grabs the bars, rattles12 it, but it's too big and solid to rattle13.
MetaCops aren't allowed to lean against their Unit -- makes them look lazy and weak. They can almost lean, look like they're leaning, they can even brandish14 a big leaning-against-the-car 'tude like this particular individual, but they can't lean. Besides, with the complete, glinting majesty15 of their Personal Portable Equipment Suite16 hanging on their Personal Modular Equipment Harness, they would scratch the finish of the Unit.
"Jack17 this barrier to commerce, man, I got deliveries to make," Y.T. announces to the MetaCop.
A wet, smacking18 burst, not loud enough to be an explosion, sounds from the back of the Mobile Unit. It is the soft thup of a thick wrestler's loogie being propelled through a rolled-up tongue. It is the distant, muffled19 splurt of a baby having a big one. Y.T.'s hand, still gripping the bars of the gate, stings for a moment, then feels cold and hot at the same time. She can barely move it. She smells vinyl.
The MetaCop's partner climbs out of the back seat of the Mobile Unit. The window of the back door is open, but everything on the Mobile Unit is so black and shiny you can't tell that until the door moves. Both MetaCops, under their glossy20 black helmets and night-vision goggles21, are grinning. The one getting out of the Mobile Unit is carrying a Short-Range Chemical Restraint Projector22 -- a loogie gun. Their little plan has worked. Y.T. didn't think to aim her Knight23 Visions into the back seat to check for a goo-firing sniper.
The loogie, when expanded into the air like this, is about the size of a football. Miles and miles of eensy but strong fibers24, like spaghetti. The sauce on the spaghetti is sticky, goopy stuff that stays fluid for an instant, when the loogie gun is fired, then sets quickly.
MetaCops have to tote this kind of gear because when each franchulate is so small, you can't be chasing people around. The perp -- almost always an innocent thrasher -- is always a three-second skateboard ride away from asylum25 in the neighboring franchulate. Also, the incredible bulk of the Personal Modular Equipment Harness -- the chandelier o' gear -- and all that is clipped onto it slows them down so bad that whenever they try to run, people just start laughing at them. So instead of losing some pounds, they just clip more stuff onto their harnesses, like the loogie gun.
The snotty, fibrous drop of stuff has wrapped all the way around her hand and forearm and lashed26 them onto the bar of the gate. Excess goo has sagged27 and run down the bar a short ways, but is setting now, turning into rubber. A few loose strands28 have also whipped forward and gained footholds on her shoulder, chest, and lower face. She backs away and the adhesive29 separates from the fibers, stretching out into long, infinitely30 thin strands, like hot mozzarelL.A. These set instantly, become solid, and then break, curling away like smoke. it is not quite so grotendous, now that the loogie is off her face, but her hand is still perfectly31 immobilized.
"You are hereby warned that any movement on your part not explicitly32 endorsed33 by verbal authorization34 on my part may pose a direct physical risk to you, as well as consequential35 psychological and possibly, depending on your personal belief system, spiritual risks ensuing from your personal reaction to said physical risk. Any movement on your part constitutes an implicit36 and irrevocable acceptance of such risk," the first MetaCop says. There is a little speaker on his belt, simultaneously37 translating all of this into Spanish and Japanese.
"Or as we used to say," the other MetaCop says, "freeze, sucker!"
The untranslatable word resonates from the little speaker, pronounced "esucker" and "saka" respectively.
"We are authorized38 Deputies of MetaCops Unlimited. Under Section 24.5.2 of the White Columns Code, we are authorized to carry out the actions of a police force on this territory."
"Such as hassling innocent thrashers," Y.T. says.
The MetaCop turns off the translator. "By speaking English you implicitly40 and irrevocably agree for all our future conversation to take place in the English language," he says.
"You can't even rez what Y.T. says," Y.T. says.
"You have been identified as an Investigatory Focus of a Registered Criminal Event that is alleged41 to have taken place on another territory, namely, The Mews at Windsor Heights."
"That's another country, man. This is White Columns!"
"Under provisions of the The Mews at Windsor Heights Code, we are authorized to enforce law, national security concerns, and societal harmony on said territory also. A treaty between The Mews at Windsor Heights and White Columns authorizes42 us to place you in temporary custody43 until your status as an Investigatory Focus has been resolved."
"Your ass39 is busted," the second MetaCop says.
"As your demeanor44 has been nonaggressive and you carry no visible weapons, we are not authorized to employ heroic measures to ensure your cooperation," the first MetaCop says.
"You stay cool and we'll stay cool," the second MetaCop says.
"However, we are equipped with devices, including but not limited to projectile45 weapons, which, if used, may pose an extreme and immediate46 threat to your health and well-being47."
"Make one funny move and we'll blow your head off," the second MetaCop says.
"Just unglom my fuckin' hand," Y.T. says. She has heard all this a million times before.
1 burnished | |
adj.抛光的,光亮的v.擦亮(金属等),磨光( burnish的过去式和过去分词 );被擦亮,磨光 | |
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2 unlimited | |
adj.无限的,不受控制的,无条件的 | |
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3 grove | |
n.林子,小树林,园林 | |
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4 franchise | |
n.特许,特权,专营权,特许权 | |
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5 plantation | |
n.种植园,大农场 | |
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6 espionage | |
n.间谍行为,谍报活动 | |
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7 supervision | |
n.监督,管理 | |
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8 rumored | |
adj.传说的,谣传的v.传闻( rumor的过去式和过去分词 );[古]名誉;咕哝;[古]喧嚷 | |
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9 shack | |
adj.简陋的小屋,窝棚 | |
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10 overridden | |
越控( override的过去分词 ); (以权力)否决; 优先于; 比…更重要 | |
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11 mowing | |
n.割草,一次收割量,牧草地v.刈,割( mow的现在分词 ) | |
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12 rattles | |
(使)发出格格的响声, (使)作嘎嘎声( rattle的第三人称单数 ); 喋喋不休地说话; 迅速而嘎嘎作响地移动,堕下或走动; 使紧张,使恐惧 | |
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13 rattle | |
v.飞奔,碰响;激怒;n.碰撞声;拨浪鼓 | |
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14 brandish | |
v.挥舞,挥动;n.挥动,挥舞 | |
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15 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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16 suite | |
n.一套(家具);套房;随从人员 | |
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17 jack | |
n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克 | |
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18 smacking | |
活泼的,发出响声的,精力充沛的 | |
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19 muffled | |
adj.(声音)被隔的;听不太清的;(衣服)裹严的;蒙住的v.压抑,捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 );用厚厚的衣帽包着(自己) | |
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20 glossy | |
adj.平滑的;有光泽的 | |
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21 goggles | |
n.护目镜 | |
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22 projector | |
n.投影机,放映机,幻灯机 | |
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23 knight | |
n.骑士,武士;爵士 | |
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24 fibers | |
光纤( fiber的名词复数 ); (织物的)质地; 纤维,纤维物质 | |
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25 asylum | |
n.避难所,庇护所,避难 | |
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26 lashed | |
adj.具睫毛的v.鞭打( lash的过去式和过去分词 );煽动;紧系;怒斥 | |
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27 sagged | |
下垂的 | |
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28 strands | |
n.(线、绳、金属线、毛发等的)股( strand的名词复数 );缕;海洋、湖或河的)岸;(观点、计划、故事等的)部份v.使滞留,使搁浅( strand的第三人称单数 ) | |
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29 adhesive | |
n.粘合剂;adj.可粘着的,粘性的 | |
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30 infinitely | |
adv.无限地,无穷地 | |
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31 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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32 explicitly | |
ad.明确地,显然地 | |
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33 endorsed | |
vt.& vi.endorse的过去式或过去分词形式v.赞同( endorse的过去式和过去分词 );在(尤指支票的)背面签字;在(文件的)背面写评论;在广告上说本人使用并赞同某产品 | |
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34 authorization | |
n.授权,委任状 | |
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35 consequential | |
adj.作为结果的,间接的;重要的 | |
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36 implicit | |
a.暗示的,含蓄的,不明晰的,绝对的 | |
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37 simultaneously | |
adv.同时发生地,同时进行地 | |
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38 authorized | |
a.委任的,许可的 | |
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39 ass | |
n.驴;傻瓜,蠢笨的人 | |
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40 implicitly | |
adv. 含蓄地, 暗中地, 毫不保留地 | |
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41 alleged | |
a.被指控的,嫌疑的 | |
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42 authorizes | |
授权,批准,委托( authorize的名词复数 ) | |
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43 custody | |
n.监护,照看,羁押,拘留 | |
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44 demeanor | |
n.行为;风度 | |
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45 projectile | |
n.投射物,发射体;adj.向前开进的;推进的;抛掷的 | |
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46 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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47 well-being | |
n.安康,安乐,幸福 | |
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