You, who are blessed with shade as well as light, you, who are gifted with two eyes, endowed with a knowledge of perspective, and charmed with the enjoyment1 of various colours, you, who can actually SEE an angle, and contemplate2 the complete circumference3 of a circle in the happy region of the Three Dimensions — how shall I make clear to you the extreme difficulty which we in Flatland experience in recognizing one another’s configuration4?
Recall what I told you above. All beings in Flatland, animate5 or inanimate, no matter what their form, present TO OUR VIEW the same, or nearly the same, appearance, viz. that of a straight Line. How then can one be distinguished6 from another, where all appear the same?
The answer is threefold. The first means of recognition is the sense of hearing; which with us is far more highly developed than with you, and which enables us not only to distinguish by the voice our personal friends, but even to discriminate7 between different classes, at least so far as concerns the three lowest orders, the Equilateral, the Square, and the Pentagon — for of the Isosceles I take no account. But as we ascend8 in the social scale, the process of discriminating9 and being discriminated10 by hearing increases in difficulty, partly because voices are assimilated, partly because the faculty11 of voice-discrimination is a plebeian12 virtue13 not much developed among the Aristocracy. And wherever there is any danger of imposture14 we cannot trust to this method. Amongst our lowest orders, the vocal15 organs are developed to a degree more than correspondent with those of hearing, so that an Isosceles can easily feign16 the voice of a Polygon17, and, with some training, that of a Circle himself. A second method is therefore more commonly resorted to.
FEELING is, among our Women and lower classes — about our upper classes I shall speak presently — the principal test of recognition, at all events between strangers, and when the question is, not as to the individual, but as to the class. What therefore “introduction” is among the higher classes in Spaceland, that the process of “feeling” is with us. “Permit me to ask you to feel and be felt by my friend Mr. So-and-so” — is still, among the more old-fashioned of our country gentlemen in districts remote from towns, the customary formula for a Flatland introduction. But in the towns, and among men of business, the words “be felt by” are omitted and the sentence is abbreviated18 to, “Let me ask you to feel Mr. So-and-so”; although it is assumed, of course, that the “feeling” is to be reciprocal. Among our still more modern and dashing young gentlemen — who are extremely averse19 to superfluous20 effort and supremely21 indifferent to the purity of their native language — the formula is still further curtailed22 by the use of “to feel” in a technical sense, meaning, “to recommend-for-the-purposes-of-feeling-and-being-felt”; and at this moment the “slang” of polite or fast society in the upper classes sanctions such a barbarism as “Mr. Smith, permit me to feel Mr. Jones.”
Let not my Reader however suppose that “feeling” is with us the tedious process that it would be with you, or that we find it necessary to feel right round all the sides of every individual before we determine the class to which he belongs. Long practice and training, begun in the schools and continued in the experience of daily life, enable us to discriminate at once by the sense of touch, between the angles of an equal-sided Triangle, Square, and Pentagon; and I need not say that the brainless vertex of an acute-angled Isosceles is obvious to the dullest touch. It is therefore not necessary, as a rule, to do more than feel a single angle of an individual; and this, once ascertained23, tells us the class of the person whom we are addressing, unless indeed he belongs to the higher sections of the nobility. There the difficulty is much greater. Even a Master of Arts in our University of Wentbridge has been known to confuse a ten-sided with a twelve-sided Polygon; and there is hardly a Doctor of Science in or out of that famous University who could pretend to decide promptly24 and unhesitatingly between a twenty-sided and a twenty-four sided member of the Aristocracy.
Those of my readers who recall the extracts I gave above from the Legislative25 code concerning Women, will readily perceive that the process of introduction by contact requires some care and discretion27. Otherwise the angles might inflict28 on the unwary Feeler irreparable injury. It is essential for the safety of the Feeler that the Felt should stand perfectly29 still. A start, a fidgety shifting of the position, yes, even a violent sneeze, has been known before now to prove fatal to the incautious, and to nip in the bud many a promising30 friendship. Especially is this true among the lower classes of the Triangles. With them, the eye is situated31 so far from their vertex that they can scarcely take cognizance of what goes on at that extremity32 of their frame. They are, moreover, of a rough coarse nature, not sensitive to the delicate touch of the highly organized Polygon. What wonder then if an involuntary toss of the head has ere now deprived the State of a valuable life!
I have heard that my excellent Grandfather — one of the least irregular of his unhappy Isosceles class, who indeed obtained, shortly before his decease, four out of seven votes from the Sanitary33 and Social Board for passing him into the class of the Equal-sided — often deplored34, with a tear in his venerable eye, a miscarriage35 of this kind, which had occured to his great-great-great-Grandfather, a respectable Working Man with an angle or brain of 59 degrees 30 minutes. According to his account, my unfortunate Ancestor, being afflicted36 with rheumatism37, and in the act of being felt by a Polygon, by one sudden start accidentally transfixed the Great Man through the diagonal; and thereby38, partly in consequence of his long imprisonment39 and degradation40, and partly because of the moral shock which pervaded41 the whole of my Ancestor’s relations, threw back our family a degree and a half in their ascent42 towards better things. The result was that in the next generation the family brain was registered at only 58 degrees, and not till the lapse43 of five generations was the lost ground recovered, the full 60 degrees attained44, and the Ascent from the Isosceles finally achieved. And all this series of calamities45 from one little accident in the process of Feeling.
At this point I think I hear some of my better educated readers exclaim, “How could you in Flatland know anything about angles and degrees, or minutes? We can SEE an angle, because we, in the region of Space, can see two straight lines inclined to one another; but you, who can see nothing but one straight line at a time, or at all events only a number of bits of straight lines all in one straight line — how can you ever discern any angle, and much less register angles of different sizes?”
I answer that though we cannot SEE angles, we can INFER them, and this with great precision. Our sense of touch, stimulated46 by necessity, and developed by long training, enables us to distinguish angles far more accurately47 than your sense of sight, when unaided by a rule or measure of angles. Nor must I omit to explain that we have great natural helps. It is with us a Law of Nature that the brain of the Isosceles class shall begin at half a degree, or thirty minutes, and shall increase (if it increases at all) by half a degree in every generation; until the goal of 60 degrees is reached, when the condition of serfdom is quitted, and the freeman enters the class of Regulars.
Consequently, Nature herself supplies us with an ascending48 scale or Alphabet of angles for half a degree up to 60 degrees, Specimens49 of which are placed in every Elementary School throughout the land. Owing to occasional retrogressions, to still more frequent moral and intellectual stagnation51, and to the extraordinary fecundity52 of the Criminal and Vagabond Classes, there is always a vast superfluity of individuals of the half degree and single degree class, and a fair abundance of Specimens up to 10 degrees. These are absolutely destitute53 of civic54 rights; and a great number of them, not having even intelligence enough for the purposes of warfare55, are devoted56 by the States to the service of education. Fettered57 immovably so as to remove all possibility of danger, they are placed in the class rooms of our Infant Schools, and there they are utilized58 by the Board of Education for the purpose of imparting to the offspring of the Middle Classes that tact26 and intelligence of which these wretched creatures themselves are utterly59 devoid60.
In some States the Specimens are occasionally fed and suffered to exist for several years; but in the more temperate61 and better regulated regions, it is found in the long run more advantageous62 for the educational interests of the young, to dispense63 with food, and to renew the Specimens every month — which is about the average duration of the foodless existence of the Criminal class. In the cheaper schools, what is gained by the longer existence of the Specimen50 is lost, partly in the expenditure64 for food, and partly in the diminished accuracy of the angles, which are impaired65 after a few weeks of constant “feeling”. Nor must we forget to add, in enumerating66 the advantages of the more expensive system, that it tends, though slightly yet perceptibly, to the diminution67 of the redundant68 Isosceles population — an object which every statesman in Flatland constantly keeps in view. On the whole therefore — although I am not ignorant that, in many popularly elected School Boards, there is a reaction in favour of “the cheap system” as it is called — I am myself disposed to think that this is one of the many cases in which expense is the truest economy.
But I must not allow questions of School Board politics to divert me from my subject. Enough has been said, I trust, to shew that Recognition by Feeling is not so tedious or indecisive a process as might have been supposed; and it is obviously more trustworthy than Recognition by hearing. Still there remains69, as has been pointed70 out above, the objection that this method is not without danger. For this reason many in the Middle and Lower classes, and all without exception in the Polygonal71 and Circular orders, prefer a third method, the description of which shall be reserved for the next section.
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1
enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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circumference
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| n.圆周，周长，圆周线 | |
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configuration
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| n.结构，布局，形态，(计算机)配置 | |
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animate
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| v.赋于生命，鼓励；adj.有生命的，有生气的 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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discriminate
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| v.区别，辨别，区分；有区别地对待 | |
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ascend
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| vi.渐渐上升，升高；vt.攀登，登上 | |
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discriminating
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| a.有辨别能力的 | |
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discriminated
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| 分别，辨别，区分( discriminate的过去式和过去分词 )； 歧视，有差别地对待 | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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plebeian
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| adj.粗俗的；平民的；n.平民；庶民 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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imposture
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| n.冒名顶替，欺骗 | |
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vocal
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| adj.直言不讳的；嗓音的；n.[pl.]声乐节目 | |
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feign
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| vt.假装，佯作 | |
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polygon
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| n.多边形；多角形 | |
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abbreviated
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| adj. 简短的，省略的 动词abbreviate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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averse
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| adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的 | |
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superfluous
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| adj.过多的，过剩的，多余的 | |
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supremely
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| adv.无上地，崇高地 | |
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curtailed
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| v.截断，缩短( curtail的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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ascertained
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| v.弄清，确定，查明( ascertain的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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promptly
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| adv.及时地，敏捷地 | |
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legislative
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| n.立法机构，立法权；adj.立法的，有立法权的 | |
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tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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inflict
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| vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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situated
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| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
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extremity
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| n.末端，尽头；尽力；终极；极度 | |
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sanitary
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| adj.卫生方面的，卫生的，清洁的，卫生的 | |
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deplored
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| v.悲叹，痛惜，强烈反对( deplore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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miscarriage
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| n.失败，未达到预期的结果；流产 | |
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afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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rheumatism
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| n.风湿病 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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imprisonment
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| n.关押，监禁，坐牢 | |
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degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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pervaded
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42
ascent
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| n.(声望或地位)提高；上升，升高；登高 | |
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43
lapse
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| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
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44
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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45
calamities
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| n.灾祸，灾难( calamity的名词复数 )；不幸之事 | |
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46
stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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47
accurately
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| adv.准确地，精确地 | |
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48
ascending
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| adj.上升的，向上的 | |
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49
specimens
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| n.样品( specimen的名词复数 )；范例；（化验的）抽样；某种类型的人 | |
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50
specimen
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| n.样本，标本 | |
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51
stagnation
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| n. 停滞 | |
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52
fecundity
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| n.生产力；丰富 | |
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53
destitute
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| adj.缺乏的；穷困的 | |
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54
civic
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| adj.城市的，都市的，市民的，公民的 | |
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warfare
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| n.战争(状态)；斗争；冲突 | |
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56
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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57
fettered
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| v.给…上脚镣，束缚( fetter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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58
utilized
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| v.利用，使用( utilize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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59
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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60
devoid
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| adj.全无的，缺乏的 | |
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61
temperate
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| adj.温和的，温带的，自我克制的，不过分的 | |
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62
advantageous
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| adj.有利的；有帮助的 | |
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63
dispense
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| vt.分配，分发；配(药)，发(药)；实施 | |
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64
expenditure
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| n.(时间、劳力、金钱等)支出；使用，消耗 | |
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65
impaired
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| adj.受损的；出毛病的；有（身体或智力）缺陷的v.损害，削弱( impair的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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enumerating
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| v.列举，枚举，数( enumerate的现在分词 ) | |
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67
diminution
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| n.减少；变小 | |
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68
redundant
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| adj.多余的，过剩的；(食物)丰富的；被解雇的 | |
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69
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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70
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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polygonal
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| adj.多角形的，多边形的 | |
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