Open. The first part of the greeting is to open yourattitude and your body. For this to work successfully,you must have already decided on a positive attitudethat's right for you. This is the time to really feel andbe aware of it.
Check to see that your body language is open. If youhave the right attitude, this should take care of itself.
Keep your heart aimed directly at the person you'remeeting. Don't cover your heart with your hands orarms and, when possible, unbutton your jacket or coat.
Eye. The second part of the greeting involves youreyes. Be first with eye contact. Look this new persondirectly in the eye. Let your eyes reflect your positiveattitude. To state the obvious: eye contact is real contact!
14Get used to really looking at other people's eyes.
When you're watching TV one evening, note theeye color of as many people as possible and saythe name of the color to yourself. The next day,do the same with every person you meet, lookinghim or her straight in the eye.
Beam. This part is closely related to eye contact.
Beam! Be the first to smile. Let your smile reflect yourattitude.
Now you've gained the other person's attentionthrough your open body language, your eye contact andyour beaming smile. What that person is picking up subconsciouslyis an impression not of some grinning,gawking fool (though you may briefly fear you look likeone!) but of someone who is completely sincere.
Hi! Whether it's "Hi!" or "Hello!" or even "Yo!" say itwith pleasing tonality and attach your own name to it("Hi! I'm Naomi"). As with the smile and the eye contact,be the first to identify yourself. It is at this point, andwithin only a few seconds, that you are in a position togather tons of free information about the person you'remeeting—information you can put to good use later inyour conversation.
Take the lead. Extend your hand to the other person,and if it's convenient find a way to say his or her name15two or three times to help fix it in memory. Not "Glenda,Glenda, Glenda, nice to meet you" but "Glenda. Great tomeet you, Glenda!" As you'll see in Chapter 7, this will befollowed by your "occasion/location statement."Lean. The final part of introducing yourself is the"lean." This action can be an almost imperceptible forwardtilt to very subtly indicate your interest and opennessas you begin to "synchronize" the person you'vejust met.
Handshakes run the gamut from the strong, sturdy bone-crusher to the wet noodle. Both are memorable—onceshaken, twice shy, in some cases.
Certain expectations accompany a handshake. Itshould be firm and respectful, as it you were ringing ahand bell for room service. Deviate from these expectationsand the other person will scramble to make senseof what's happening. There is a feeling that something iswrong—like hot water coming out of the cold tap. Thebrain hates confusion, and when faced with it the firstinstinct is to withdraw.
The "hands-free" handshake is a handshake withoutthe hand, and it is a powerful tool. Just do everythingyou would do during a normal handshake but withoutusing your hand. Point your heart at the other personand say hello. Light up your eyes and smile, and give off
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