Ode to W. Kitchener, M.D.?

Author of “The Cook’s Oracle,” “Observations on Vocal¹ Music,” “The Art of Invigorating and Prolonging Life,” “Practical Observations on Telescopes, Opera-glasses, and Spectacles,” “The Housekeeper’s Ledger,” and “The Pleasure of Making a Will.”

“I rule the roast, as Milton says! “—Caleb Quotem.

Oh! multifarious man!

Thou Wondrous³, Admirable Kitchen Crichton!

Born to enlighten

The laws of Optics, Peptics, Music, Cooking —

Master of the Piano — and the Pan —

As busy with the kitchen as the skies!

Now looking

At some rich stew⁴ thro’ Galileo’s eyes —

Or boiling eggs — timed to a metronome —

As much at home

In spectacles as in mere⁵ isinglass —

In the art of frying brown — as a digression

On music and poetical⁶ expression,

Whereas, how few of all our cooks, alas⁷!

Could tell Calliope from “Callipee!”

How few there be

Could leave the lowest for the highest stories, (Observatories,)

And turn, like thee, Diana’s calculator,

However cook’s synonymous with Kater!

Alas! still let me say,

How few could lay

The carving⁸ knife beside the tuning⁹ fork,

Like the proverbial Jack¹⁰ ready for any work!
2.

Oh, to behold¹¹ thy features in thy book!

Thy proper head and shoulders in a plate,

How it would look!

With one rais’d eye watching the dial’s date,

And one upon the roast, gently cast down —

Thy chops — done nicely brown —

The garnish’d brow — with “a few leaves of bay”—

The hair —“done Wiggy’s way!”

And still one studious finger near thy brains,

As if thou wert just come

From editing some

New soup — or hashing Dibdin’s cold remains¹²;

Or, Orpheus-like — fresh from thy dying strains

Of music — Epping luxuries of sound,

As Milton says, “in many a bout¹³

Of linked sweetness long drawn¹⁴ out,”

Whilst all thy tame stuff’d leopards¹⁵ listen’d round!
3.

Oh, rather thy whole proper length reveal,

Standing¹⁶ like Fortune — on the jack — thy wheel.

(Thou art, like Fortune, full of chops and changes,

Thou hast a fillet too before thine eye!)

Scanning our kitchen, and our vocal ranges,

As tho’ it were the same to sing or fry —

Nay¹⁷, so it is — hear how Miss Paton’s throat

Makes “fritters” of a note!

And how Tom Cook (Fryer and Singer born

By name and nature) oh! how night and morn

He for the nicest public taste doth dish up

The good things from that Pan of music, Bishop¹⁸!

And is not reading near akin² to feeding,

Or why should Oxford¹⁹ Sausages be fit

Receptacles for wit?

Or why should Cambridge put its little, smart,

Minc’d brains into a Tart²¹?

Nay, then, thou wert but wise to frame receipts,

Book-treats,

Equally to instruct the Cook and cram²² her —

Receipts to be devour’d, as well as read,

The Culinary Art in gingerbread —

The Kitchen’s Eaten Grammar!
4.

Oh, very pleasant is thy motley page —

Aye, very pleasant in its chatty vein²³ —

So — in a kitchen — would have talk’d Montaigne,

That merry Gascon — humorist, and sage²⁰!

Let slender minds with single themes engage,

Like Mr. Bowles with his eternal Pope —

Or Haydon on perpetual Haydon — or

Hume on “Twice three make four,”

Or Lovelass upon Wills — Thou goest on

Plaiting ten topics, like Tate Wilkinson!

Thy brain is like a rich Kaleidoscope,

Stuff’d with a brilliant medley²⁴ of odd bits,

And ever shifting on from change to change,

Saucepans — old Songs — Pills — Spectacles — and Spits!

Thy range is wider than a Rumford Range!

Thy grasp a miracle! — till I recall

Th’ indubitable cause of thy variety —

Thou art, of course, th’ Epitome²⁵ of all

That spying — frying — singing — mix’d Society

Of Scientific Friends, who used to meet

Welch Rabbits — and thyself — in Warren Street!
5.

Oh, hast thou still those Conversazioni,

Where learned visitors discoursed²⁶ — and fed?

There came Belzoni,

Fresh from the ashes of Egyptian dead —

And gentle Poki — and that Royal Pair,

Of whom thou didst declare —

“Thanks to the greatest Cooke we ever read —

They were — what Sandwiches should be — half bred“!

There fam’d M’Adam from his manual toil²⁷

Relax’d — and freely own’d he took thy hints

On “making Broth²⁸ with Flints“—

There Parry came, and show’d thee polar oil

For melted butter — Combe with his medullary

Notions about the Skullery,

And Mr. Poole, too partial to a broil²⁹ —

There witty³⁰ Rogers came, that punning elf!

Who used to swear thy book

Would really look

A Delphic “Oracle,” if laid on Delf—

There, once a month, came Campbell and discuss’d

His own — and thy own —”Magazine of Taste“—

There Wilberforce the Just

Came, in his old black suit, till once he trac’d

Thy sly advice to Poachers of Black Folks,

That “do not break their yolks“—

Which huff’d him home, in grave disgust and haste!
6.

There came John Clare, the poet, nor forbore

Thy Patties— thou wert hand-and-glove with Moore,

Who call’d thee ”Kitchen Addison“— for why?

Thou givest rules for Health and Peptic Pills,

Forms for made dishes, and receipts for Wills,

“Teaching us how to live and how to die!”

There came thy Cousin-Cook, good Mrs. Fry —

There Trench³¹, the Thames Projector³², first brought on

His sine Quay³³ non —

There Martin would drop in on Monday eves,

Or Fridays, from the pens, and raise his breath

‘Gainst cattle days and death —

Answer’d by Mellish, feeder of fat beeves,

Who swore that Frenchmen never could be eager

For fighting on soup meagre —

“And yet, (as thou would’st add,) the French have seen

A Marshall Tureen“!
7.

Great was thy Evening Cluster! — often grac’d

With Dollond — Burgess — and Sir Humphry Davy!

’Twas there M’Dermot first inclin’d to Taste —

There Colborn learn’d the art of making paste

For puffs³⁴ — and Accum analyzed³⁵ a gravy³⁶.

Colman — the Cutter of Coleman Street, ’tis said

Came there — and Parkins with his Ex-wise-head,

(His claim to letters)— Kater, too, the Moon’s

Crony — and Graham, lofty on balloons —

There Croly stalk’d with holy humor heated,

Who wrote a light-horse play, which Yates completed —

And Lady Morgan, that grinding organ,

And Brasbridge telling anecdotes³⁷ of spoons —

Madame Valbrèque thrice honor’d thee, and came

With great Rossini, his own bow and fiddle³⁸ —

The Dibdins — Tom, Charles, Frognall — came with tuns

Of poor old books, old puns!

And even Irving spar’d a night from fame —

And talk’d — till thou didst stop him in the middle,

To serve round Tewah-diddle!
8.

Then all the guests rose up, and sighed good-bye!

So let them:— thou thyself art still a Host!

Dibdin — Cornaro — Newton — Mrs. Fry!

Mrs. Glasse, Mr. Spec! — Lovelass — and Weber,

Matthews in Quot’em — Moore’s fire-worshipping Gheber —

Thrice-worthy³⁹ Worthy, seem by thee engross’d!

Howbeit the Peptic Cook still rules the roast,

Potent⁴⁰ to hush⁴¹ all ventriloquial snarling⁴² —

And ease the bosom⁴³ pangs⁴⁴ of indigestion!

Thou art, sans question,

The Corporation’s love its Doctor Darling!

Look at the Civic⁴⁶ Palate — nay, the Bed

Which set dear Mrs. Opie on supplying

Illustrations of Lying!

Ninety square feet of down from heel to head

It measured, and I dread⁴⁷

Was haunted by a terrible night Mare⁴⁸,

A monstrous⁴⁹ burthen on the corporation! —

Look at the Bill of Fare for one day’s share,

Sea-turtles by the score — Oxen by droves,

Geese, turkeys, by the flock — fishes and loaves

Countless⁵⁰, as when the Lilliputian nation

Was making up the huge man-mountain’s ration⁴⁵!
9.

Oh! worthy Doctor! surely thou hast driven

The squatting⁵¹ Demon⁵² from great Garratt’s breast —

(His honor seems to rest! —)

And what is thy reward? — Hath London given

Thee public thanks for thy important service?

Alas! not even

The tokens it bestowed⁵³ on Howe and Jervis! —

Yet could I speak as Orators⁵⁴ should speak

Before the worshipful the Common Council

(Utter my bold bad grammar and pronounce ill,)

Thou should’st not miss thy Freedom, for a week,

Richly engross’d on vellum:— Reason urges

That he who rules our cookery — that he

Who edits soups and gravies⁵⁵, ought to be

A Citizen, where sauce can make a Burgess!

1 vocal   

adj.直言不讳的；嗓音的；n.[pl.]声乐节目

参考例句：

• The tongue is a vocal organ.舌头是一个发音器官。
• Public opinion at last became vocal.终于舆论哗然。

2 akin   

adj.同族的，类似的

参考例句：

• She painted flowers and birds pictures akin to those of earlier feminine painters.她画一些同早期女画家类似的花鸟画。
• Listening to his life story is akin to reading a good adventure novel.听他的人生故事犹如阅读一本精彩的冒险小说。

3 wondrous   

adj.令人惊奇的，奇妙的；adv.惊人地；异乎寻常地；令人惊叹地

参考例句：

• The internal structure of the Department is wondrous to behold.看一下国务院的内部结构是很有意思的。
• We were driven across this wondrous vast land of lakes and forests.我们乘车穿越这片有着湖泊及森林的广袤而神奇的土地。

4 stew   

n.炖汤，焖，烦恼；v.炖汤，焖，忧虑

参考例句：

• The stew must be boiled up before serving.炖肉必须煮熟才能上桌。
• There's no need to get in a stew.没有必要烦恼。

5 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

6 poetical   

adj.似诗人的；诗一般的；韵文的；富有诗意的

参考例句：

• This is a poetical picture of the landscape. 这是一幅富有诗意的风景画。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• John is making a periphrastic study in a worn-out poetical fashion. 约翰正在对陈腐的诗风做迂回冗长的研究。 来自辞典例句

7 alas   

int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)

参考例句：

• Alas!The window is broken!哎呀！窗子破了！
• Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而，真理很少带有浪漫色彩。

8 carving   

n.雕刻品，雕花

参考例句：

• All the furniture in the room had much carving.房间里所有的家具上都有许多雕刻。
• He acquired the craft of wood carving in his native town.他在老家学会了木雕手艺。

9 tuning   

n.调谐，调整，调音v.调音( tune的现在分词 )；调整；（给收音机、电视等）调谐；使协调

参考例句：

• They are tuning up a plane on the flight line. 他们正在机场的飞机跑道上调试一架飞机。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The orchestra are tuning up. 管弦乐队在定弦。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

10 jack   

n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克

参考例句：

• I am looking for the headphone jack.我正在找寻头戴式耳机插孔。
• He lifted the car with a jack to change the flat tyre.他用千斤顶把车顶起来换下瘪轮胎。

11 behold   

v.看，注视，看到

参考例句：

• The industry of these little ants is wonderful to behold.这些小蚂蚁辛勤劳动的样子看上去真令人惊叹。
• The sunrise at the seaside was quite a sight to behold.海滨日出真是个奇景。

12 remains   

n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹

参考例句：

• He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
• The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。

13 bout   

n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛

参考例句：

• I was suffering with a bout of nerves.我感到一阵紧张。
• That bout of pneumonia enfeebled her.那次肺炎的发作使她虚弱了。

14 drawn   

v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的

参考例句：

• All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。
• Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

15 leopards   

n.豹( leopard的名词复数 )；本性难移

参考例句：

• Lions, tigers and leopards are all cats. 狮、虎和豹都是猫科动物。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• For example, airlines never ship leopards and canaries on the same flight. 例如，飞机上从来不会同时运送豹和金丝雀。 来自英语晨读30分（初三）

16 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

17 nay   

adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者

参考例句：

• He was grateful for and proud of his son's remarkable,nay,unique performance.他为儿子出色的，不，应该是独一无二的表演心怀感激和骄傲。
• Long essays,nay,whole books have been written on this.许多长篇大论的文章，不，应该说是整部整部的书都是关于这件事的。

18 bishop   

n.主教，（国际象棋）象

参考例句：

• He was a bishop who was held in reverence by all.他是一位被大家都尊敬的主教。
• Two years after his death the bishop was canonised.主教逝世两年后被正式封为圣者。

19 Oxford   

n.牛津（英国城市）

参考例句：

• At present he has become a Professor of Chemistry at Oxford.他现在已是牛津大学的化学教授了。
• This is where the road to Oxford joins the road to London.这是去牛津的路与去伦敦的路的汇合处。

20 sage   

n.圣人，哲人；adj.贤明的，明智的

参考例句：

• I was grateful for the old man's sage advice.我很感激那位老人贤明的忠告。
• The sage is the instructor of a hundred ages.这位哲人是百代之师。

21 tart   

adj.酸的；尖酸的，刻薄的；n.果馅饼；淫妇

参考例句：

• She was learning how to make a fruit tart in class.她正在课上学习如何制作水果馅饼。
• She replied in her usual tart and offhand way.她开口回答了，用她平常那种尖酸刻薄的声调随口说道。

22 cram   

v.填塞，塞满，临时抱佛脚，为考试而学习

参考例句：

• There was such a cram in the church.教堂里拥挤得要命。
• The room's full,we can't cram any more people in.屋里满满的，再也挤不进去人了。

23 vein   

n.血管，静脉；叶脉，纹理；情绪；vt.使成脉络

参考例句：

• The girl is not in the vein for singing today.那女孩今天没有心情唱歌。
• The doctor injects glucose into the patient's vein.医生把葡萄糖注射入病人的静脉。

24 medley   

n.混合

参考例句：

• Today's sports meeting doesn't seem to include medley relay swimming.现在的运动会好象还没有混合接力泳这个比赛项目。
• China won the Men's 200 metres Individual Medley.中国赢得了男子200米个人混合泳比赛。

25 epitome   

n.典型，梗概

参考例句：

• He is the epitome of goodness.他是善良的典范。
• This handbook is a neat epitome of everyday hygiene.这本手册概括了日常卫生的要点。

26 discoursed   

演说（discourse的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• He discoursed on an interesting topic. 他就一个有趣的题目发表了演讲。
• The scholar discoursed at great length on the poetic style of John Keats. 那位学者详细讲述了约翰·济慈的诗歌风格。

27 toil   

vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事

参考例句：

• The wealth comes from the toil of the masses.财富来自大众的辛勤劳动。
• Every single grain is the result of toil.每一粒粮食都来之不易。

28 broth   

n.原(汁)汤(鱼汤、肉汤、菜汤等)

参考例句：

• Every cook praises his own broth.厨子总是称赞自己做的汤。
• Just a bit of a mouse's dropping will spoil a whole saucepan of broth.一粒老鼠屎败坏一锅汤。

29 broil   

v.烤，烧，争吵，怒骂；n.烤，烧，争吵，怒骂

参考例句：

• Bake,broil,grill or roast foods rather than fry them.烧烤或烘烤而不要油炸食物。
• He is in a broil of indignation.此刻他正怒气冲冲。

30 witty   

adj.机智的，风趣的

参考例句：

• Her witty remarks added a little salt to the conversation.她的妙语使谈话增添了一些风趣。
• He scored a bull's-eye in their argument with that witty retort.在他们的辩论中他那一句机智的反驳击中了要害。

31 trench   

n./v.(挖)沟，(挖)战壕

参考例句：

• The soldiers recaptured their trench.兵士夺回了战壕。
• The troops received orders to trench the outpost.部队接到命令在前哨周围筑壕加强防卫。

32 projector   

n.投影机，放映机，幻灯机

参考例句：

• There is a new projector in my office.我的办公室里有一架新的幻灯机。
• How long will it take to set up the projector?把这个放映机安放好需要多长时间？

33 quay   

n.码头，靠岸处

参考例句：

• There are all kinds of ships in a quay.码头停泊各式各样的船。
• The side of the boat hit the quay with a grinding jar.船舷撞到码头发出刺耳的声音。

34 puffs   

n.吸( puff的名词复数 )；（烟斗或香烟的）一吸；一缕（烟、蒸汽等）；（呼吸或风的）呼v.使喷出( puff的第三人称单数 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧

参考例句：

• We sat exchanging puffs from that wild pipe of his. 我们坐在那里，轮番抽着他那支野里野气的烟斗。 来自辞典例句
• Puffs of steam and smoke came from the engine. 一股股蒸汽和烟雾从那火车头里冒出来。 来自辞典例句

35 analyzed   

v.分析( analyze的过去式和过去分词 )；分解；解释；对…进行心理分析

参考例句：

• The doctors analyzed the blood sample for anemia. 医生们分析了贫血的血样。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The young man did not analyze the process of his captivation and enrapturement, for love to him was a mystery and could not be analyzed. 这年轻人没有分析自己蛊惑著迷的过程，因为对他来说，爱是个不可分析的迷。 来自《简明英汉词典》

36 gravy   

n.肉汁；轻易得来的钱，外快

参考例句：

• You have spilled gravy on the tablecloth.你把肉汁泼到台布上了。
• The meat was swimming in gravy.肉泡在浓汁之中。

37 anecdotes   

n.掌故，趣闻，轶事( anecdote的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• amusing anecdotes about his brief career as an actor 关于他短暂演员生涯的趣闻逸事
• He related several anecdotes about his first years as a congressman. 他讲述自己初任议员那几年的几则轶事。 来自《简明英汉词典》

38 fiddle   

n.小提琴；vi.拉提琴；不停拨弄，乱动

参考例句：

• She plays the fiddle well.她小提琴拉得好。
• Don't fiddle with the typewriter.不要摆弄那架打字机了。

39 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

40 potent   

adj.强有力的，有权势的；有效力的

参考例句：

• The medicine had a potent effect on your disease.这药物对你的病疗效很大。
• We must account of his potent influence.我们必须考虑他的强有力的影响。

41 hush   

int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静

参考例句：

• A hush fell over the onlookers.旁观者们突然静了下来。
• Do hush up the scandal!不要把这丑事声张出去！

42 snarling   

v.（指狗）吠，嗥叫， （人）咆哮( snarl的现在分词 )；咆哮着说，厉声地说

参考例句：

• "I didn't marry you," he said, in a snarling tone. “我没有娶你，"他咆哮着说。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
• So he got into the shoes snarling. 于是，汤姆一边大喊大叫，一边穿上了那双鞋。 来自英汉文学 - 汤姆历险

43 bosom   

n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的

参考例句：

• She drew a little book from her bosom.她从怀里取出一本小册子。
• A dark jealousy stirred in his bosom.他内心生出一阵恶毒的嫉妒。

44 pangs   

突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 )； 悲痛

参考例句：

• She felt sudden pangs of regret. 她突然感到痛悔不已。
• With touching pathos he described the pangs of hunger. 他以极具感伤力的笔触描述了饥饿的痛苦。

45 ration   

n.定量(pl.)给养，口粮；vt.定量供应

参考例句：

• The country cut the bread ration last year.那个国家去年削减面包配给量。
• We have to ration the water.我们必须限量用水。

46 civic   

adj.城市的，都市的，市民的，公民的

参考例句：

• I feel it is my civic duty to vote.我认为投票选举是我作为公民的义务。
• The civic leaders helped to forward the project.市政府领导者协助促进工程的进展。

47 dread   

vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧

参考例句：

• We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
• Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。

48 mare   

n.母马，母驴

参考例句：

• The mare has just thrown a foal in the stable.那匹母马刚刚在马厩里产下了一只小马驹。
• The mare foundered under the heavy load and collapsed in the road.那母马因负载过重而倒在路上。

49 monstrous   

adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的

参考例句：

• The smoke began to whirl and grew into a monstrous column.浓烟开始盘旋上升，形成了一个巨大的烟柱。
• Your behaviour in class is monstrous!你在课堂上的行为真是丢人！

50 countless   

adj.无数的，多得不计其数的

参考例句：

• In the war countless innocent people lost their lives.在这场战争中无数无辜的人丧失了性命。
• I've told you countless times.我已经告诉你无数遍了。

51 squatting   

v.像动物一样蹲下( squat的现在分词 )；非法擅自占用（土地或房屋）；为获得其所有权；而占用某片公共用地。

参考例句：

• They ended up squatting in the empty houses on Oxford Road. 他们落得在牛津路偷住空房的境地。
• They've been squatting in an apartment for the past two years. 他们过去两年来一直擅自占用一套公寓。 来自《简明英汉词典》

52 demon   

n.魔鬼，恶魔

参考例句：

• The demon of greed ruined the miser's happiness.贪得无厌的恶习毁掉了那个守财奴的幸福。
• He has been possessed by the demon of disease for years.他多年来病魔缠身。

53 bestowed   

赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• It was a title bestowed upon him by the king. 那是国王赐给他的头衔。
• He considered himself unworthy of the honour they had bestowed on him. 他认为自己不配得到大家赋予他的荣誉。

54 orators   

n.演说者，演讲家( orator的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The hired orators continued to pour forth their streams of eloquence. 那些雇来的演说家继续滔滔不绝地施展辩才。 来自辞典例句
• Their ears are too full of bugles and drums and the fine words from stay-at-home orators. 人们的耳朵被军号声和战声以及呆在这的演说家们的漂亮言辞塞得太满了。 来自飘（部分）

55 gravies   

n.肉汁( gravy的名词复数 )；肉卤；意外之财；飞来福

参考例句：

• Other culprits to blame for dingy teeth include colas, gravies, and dark juices. 咎取暗黑色牙齿的其它罪魁祸首包括可乐、肉汤和深色果汁。 来自互联网