Of being cheated as to cheat.”— HUDIBRAS.
The history of human-kind to trace,
Since Eve — the first of dupes — our doom1 unriddled,
A certain portion of the human race
Has certainly a taste for being diddled.
Witness the famous Mississippi dreams!
A rage that time seems only to redouble —
The Banks, Joint-Stocks, and all the flimsy schemes,
For rolling in Pactolian streams,
That cost our modern rogues2 so little trouble.
No matter what — to pasture cows on stubble,
To twist sea-sand into a solid rope,
To make French bricks and fancy bread of rubble3,
Or light with gas the whole celestial4 cope —
Only propose to blow a bubble,
And Lord! what hundreds will subscribe5 for soap!
Soap! — it reminds me of a little tale,
Tho’ not a pig’s, the hawbuck’s glory,
When rustic6 games and merriment prevail —
But here’s my story:
Once on a time — no matter when —
A knot of very charitable men
Set up a Philanthropical Society,
Professing7 on a certain plan,
To benefit the race of man,
And in particular that dark variety,
Which some suppose inferior — as in vermin
The sable8 is to ermine,
As smut to flour, as coal to alabaster9,
As crows to swans, as soot10 to driven snow,
As blacking, or as ink, to “milk below,”
Or yet a better simile11 to show,
As ragman’s dolls to images in plaster!
However, as is usual in our city,
They had a sort of managing Committee,
A board of grave responsible Directors —
A Secretary, good at pen and ink —
A Treasurer12, of course, to keep the chink,
And quite an army of Collectors!
Not merely male, but female duns,
Young, old, and aged15" target="_blank">middle-aged14 — of all degrees —
With many of those persevering16 ones,
Who mite17 by mite would beg a cheese!
And what might be their aim?
To rescue Afric’s sable sons from fetters18 —
To save their bodies from the burning shame
Of branding with hot letters —
Their shoulders from the cowhide’s bloody19 strokes,
Their necks from iron yokes20?
To end or mitigate21 the ills of slavery,
The Planter’s avarice22, the Driver’s knavery23?
To school the heathen Negroes and enlighten ’em,
To polish up and brighten ’em,
And make them worthy24 of eternal bliss25?
Why, no — the simple end and aim was this —
Reading a well-known proverb much amiss —
To wash and whiten ’em!
They look’d so ugly in their sable hides:
So dark, so dingy26, like a grubby lot
Of sooty sweeps, or colliers, and besides,
However the poor elves
Might wash themselves,
Nobody knew if they were clean or not —
On Nature’s fairness they were quite a blot27!
Not to forget more serious complaints
That even while they join’d in pious28 hymn29,
So black they were and grim,
In face and limb,
They look’d like Devils, tho’ they sang like Saints!
The thing was undeniable!
They wanted washing! not that slight ablution
To which the skin of the White Man is liable,
Merely removing transient pollution —
But good, hard, honest, energetic rubbing
And scrubbing,
Sousing each sooty frame from heels to head
With stiff, strong, saponaceous lather30,
And pails of water — hottish rather,
But not so boiling as to turn ’em red!
So spoke31 the philanthropic man
Who laid, and hatch’d, and nursed the plan —
And oh! to view its glorious consummation!
The brooms and mops,
The tubs and slops,
The baths and brushes in full operation!
To see each Crow, or Jim or John,
Go in a raven32 and come out a swan!
While fair as Cavendishes, Vanes, and Russels,
Black Venus rises from the soapy surge,
And all the little Niggerlings emerge
As lily-white as mussels.
Sweet was the vision — but alas33!
However in prospectus35 bright and sunny,
To bring such visionary scenes to pass
One thing was requisite36, and that was — money!
Money, that pays the laundress and her bills,
For socks and collars, shirts and frills,
Cravats37 and kerchiefs — money, without which
The negroes must remain as dark as pitch;
A thing to make all Christians38 sad and shivery,
To think of millions of immortal39 souls
Dwelling40 in bodies black as coals,
And living — so to speak — in Satan’s livery!
Money — the root of evil — dross41, and stuff!
But oh! how happy ought the rich to feel,
Whose means enable them to give enough
To blanch42 an African from head to heel!
How blessed — yea, thrice blessed — to subscribe
Enough to scour43 a tribe!
While he whose fortune was at best a brittle44 one,
Although he gave but pence, how sweet to know
He helped to bleach45 a Hottentot’s great toe,
Or little one!
Moved by this logic46, or appall’d,
To persons of a certain turn so proper,
The money came when call’d,
In silver, gold, and copper47,
Presents from “Friends to blacks,” or foes48 to whites,
“Trifles,” and “offerings,” and “widows’ mites,”
Plump legacies49, and yearly benefactions,
With other gifts
And charitable lifts,
Printed in lists and quarterly transactions.
As thus — Elisha Brettel,
An iron kettle.
The Dowager Lady Scannel,
A piece of flannel50.
Rebecca Pope,
A bar of soap.
The Misses Howels,
Half-a-dozen towels.
The Master Rush’s,
Two scrubbing-brushes.
Mr. T. Groom51,
A stable broom,
And Mrs. Grubb,
A tub.
Great were the sums collected!
And great results in consequence expected.
But somehow, in the teeth of all endeavor,
According to reports
At yearly courts,
The blacks, confound them! were as black as ever!
Yes! spite of all the water sous’d aloft,
Soap, plain and mottled, hard and soft,
Soda52 and pearlash, huckaback and sand,
Brooms, brushes, palm of hand,
And scourers in the office strong and clever,
In spite of all the tubbing, rubbing, scrubbing,
The routing and the grubbing,
The blacks, confound them! were as black as ever!
In fact in his perennial53 speech,
The Chairman own’d the niggers did not bleach,
As he had hoped.
From being washed and soaped,
A circumstance he named with grief and pity;
But still he had the happiness to say,
For self and the Committee,
By persevering in the present way
And scrubbing at the Blacks from day to day,
Although he could not promise perfect white,
From certain symptoms that had come to light,
He hoped in time to get them gray!
Lull’d by this vague assurance,
The friends and patrons of the sable tribe
Continued to subscribe,
And waited, waited on with much endurance —
Many a frugal54 sister, thrifty55 daughter —
Many a stinted56 widow, pinching mother —
With income by the tax made somewhat shorter,
Still paid implicitly58 her crown per quarter,
Only to hear as ev’ry year came round,
That Mr. Treasurer had spent her pound;
And as she loved her sable brother,
That Mr. Treasurer must have another!
But, spite of pounds or guineas,
Instead of giving any hint
Of turning to a neutral tint57,
The plaguy Negroes and their piccaninnies
Were still the color of the bird that caws —
Only some very aged souls
Showing a little gray upon their polls,
Like daws!
However, nothing clashed
By such repeated failures, or abashed59,
The Court still met; — the Chairman and Directors,
The Secretary, good at pen and ink,
The worthy Treasurer, who kept the chink,
And all the cash Collectors;
With hundreds of that class, so kindly60 credulous61,
Without whose help, no charlatan62 alive,
Or Bubble Company could hope to thrive,
Or busy Chevalier, however sedulous63 —
Those good and easy innocents in fact,
Who willingly receiving chaff64 for corn,
As pointed65 out by Butler’s tact66,
Still find a secret pleasure in the act
Of being pluck’d and shorn!
However, in long hundreds there they were,
Thronging67 the hot, and close, and dusty court,
To hear once more addresses from the Chair,
And regular Report.
Alas! concluding in the usual strain,
That what with everlasting68 wear and tear,
The scrubbing-brushes hadn’t got a hair —
The brooms — mere13 stumps69 — would never serve again —
The soap was gone, the flannels70 all in shreds71,
The towels worn to threads,
The tubs and pails too shattered to be mended —
And what was added with a deal of pain,
But as accounts correctly would explain,
Tho’ thirty thousand pounds had been expended72 —
The Blackamoors had still been wash’d in vain!
“In fact, the Negroes were as black as ink,
Yet, still as the Committee dared to think,
And hoped the proposition was not rash,
A rather free expenditure73 of cash —”
But ere the prospect34 could be made more sunny —
Up jump’d a little, lemon-colored man,
And with an eager stammer74, thus began,
In angry earnest, though it sounded funny:
“What! More subscriptions75! No — no — no — not I!”
“You have had time — time — time enough to try!
They WON’T come white! then why — why — why — why,
More money?”
“Why!” said the Chairman, with an accent bland76,
And gentle waving of his dexter hand,
“Why must we have more dross, and dirt, and dust,
More filthy77 lucre78, in a word, more gold —
The why, sir, very easily is told,
Because Humanity declares we must!
We’ve scrubb’d the negroes till we’ve nearly killed ’em,
And finding that we cannot wash them white,
But still their nigritude offends the sight,
We mean to gild79 ’em!“
点击收听单词发音
1 doom | |
n.厄运,劫数;v.注定,命定 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2 rogues | |
n.流氓( rogue的名词复数 );无赖;调皮捣蛋的人;离群的野兽 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3 rubble | |
n.(一堆)碎石,瓦砾 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4 celestial | |
adj.天体的;天上的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5 subscribe | |
vi.(to)订阅,订购;同意;vt.捐助,赞助 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6 rustic | |
adj.乡村的,有乡村特色的;n.乡下人,乡巴佬 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7 professing | |
声称( profess的现在分词 ); 宣称; 公开表明; 信奉 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8 sable | |
n.黑貂;adj.黑色的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9 alabaster | |
adj.雪白的;n.雪花石膏;条纹大理石 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10 soot | |
n.煤烟,烟尘;vt.熏以煤烟 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11 simile | |
n.直喻,明喻 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12 treasurer | |
n.司库,财务主管 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14 middle-aged | |
adj.中年的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15 aged | |
adj.年老的,陈年的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16 persevering | |
a.坚忍不拔的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17 mite | |
n.极小的东西;小铜币 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18 fetters | |
n.脚镣( fetter的名词复数 );束缚v.给…上脚镣,束缚( fetter的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19 bloody | |
adj.非常的的;流血的;残忍的;adv.很;vt.血染 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20 yokes | |
轭( yoke的名词复数 ); 奴役; 轭形扁担; 上衣抵肩 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21 mitigate | |
vt.(使)减轻,(使)缓和 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22 avarice | |
n.贪婪;贪心 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23 knavery | |
n.恶行,欺诈的行为 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25 bliss | |
n.狂喜,福佑,天赐的福 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26 dingy | |
adj.昏暗的,肮脏的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27 blot | |
vt.弄脏(用吸墨纸)吸干;n.污点,污渍 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28 pious | |
adj.虔诚的;道貌岸然的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29 hymn | |
n.赞美诗,圣歌,颂歌 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30 lather | |
n.(肥皂水的)泡沫,激动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32 raven | |
n.渡鸟,乌鸦;adj.乌亮的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35 prospectus | |
n.计划书;说明书;慕股书 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36 requisite | |
adj.需要的,必不可少的;n.必需品 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37 cravats | |
n.(系在衬衫衣领里面的)男式围巾( cravat的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38 Christians | |
n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39 immortal | |
adj.不朽的;永生的,不死的;神的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40 dwelling | |
n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41 dross | |
n.渣滓;无用之物 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42 blanch | |
v.漂白;使变白;使(植物)不见日光而变白 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43 scour | |
v.搜索;擦,洗,腹泻,冲刷 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44 brittle | |
adj.易碎的;脆弱的;冷淡的;(声音)尖利的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45 bleach | |
vt.使漂白;vi.变白;n.漂白剂 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46 logic | |
n.逻辑(学);逻辑性 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47 copper | |
n.铜;铜币;铜器;adj.铜(制)的;(紫)铜色的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48 foes | |
敌人,仇敌( foe的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49 legacies | |
n.遗产( legacy的名词复数 );遗留之物;遗留问题;后遗症 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50 flannel | |
n.法兰绒;法兰绒衣服 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51 groom | |
vt.给(马、狗等)梳毛,照料,使...整洁 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52 soda | |
n.苏打水;汽水 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53 perennial | |
adj.终年的;长久的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54 frugal | |
adj.节俭的,节约的,少量的,微量的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
55 thrifty | |
adj.节俭的;兴旺的;健壮的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
56 stinted | |
v.限制,节省(stint的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
57 tint | |
n.淡色,浅色;染发剂;vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
58 implicitly | |
adv. 含蓄地, 暗中地, 毫不保留地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
59 abashed | |
adj.窘迫的,尴尬的v.使羞愧,使局促,使窘迫( abash的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
60 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
61 credulous | |
adj.轻信的,易信的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
62 charlatan | |
n.骗子;江湖医生;假内行 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
63 sedulous | |
adj.勤勉的,努力的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
64 chaff | |
v.取笑,嘲笑;n.谷壳 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
65 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
66 tact | |
n.机敏,圆滑,得体 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
67 thronging | |
v.成群,挤满( throng的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
68 everlasting | |
adj.永恒的,持久的,无止境的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
69 stumps | |
(被砍下的树的)树桩( stump的名词复数 ); 残肢; (板球三柱门的)柱; 残余部分 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
70 flannels | |
法兰绒男裤; 法兰绒( flannel的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
71 shreds | |
v.撕碎,切碎( shred的第三人称单数 );用撕毁机撕毁(文件) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
72 expended | |
v.花费( expend的过去式和过去分词 );使用(钱等)做某事;用光;耗尽 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
73 expenditure | |
n.(时间、劳力、金钱等)支出;使用,消耗 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
74 stammer | |
n.结巴,口吃;v.结结巴巴地说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
75 subscriptions | |
n.(报刊等的)订阅费( subscription的名词复数 );捐款;(俱乐部的)会员费;捐助 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
76 bland | |
adj.淡而无味的,温和的,无刺激性的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
77 filthy | |
adj.卑劣的;恶劣的,肮脏的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
78 lucre | |
n.金钱,财富 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
79 gild | |
vt.给…镀金,把…漆成金色,使呈金色 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |