A VISIT FROM BISHOP1 FRENCH
One matter of marked interest in the year 1887 was the retirement2 of Bishop French from the Bishopric of Lahore, and his return to the humbler post of simple Missionary4. This step appealed strongly to Miss Tucker’s sense of admiration5. On the 8th of October she wrote to Mrs. Hamilton:—
‘I have already, as you see, written a good deal by this mail, ... but I will not let the post for England go without at least a few loving lines to my own dearest sister. The dear good Bishop is resigning. I hear that he feels it sorely; but he has no intention of leaving work. He resigns the English part into what he feels to be stronger hands,—but will, I believe, continue Missionary work amongst Natives. He was first a Missionary; and—dear man!—it is not improbable that he will die a Missionary. To lay down a mitre is no degradation6!’
A few days later, having heard that the Bishop purposed paying her a little visit at Batala, she wrote to him direct:—
‘Batala, Oct. 20, 1887.
Revered8 Bishop,—Though I know not whether this will reach you till after your return from Batala, I cannot forbear thanking you for your affectionate letter, and intention of gratifying me by visiting my simple little Missionary home. I received your letter at Amritsar, having—for a wonder—left Batala to be present at the wedding of dear old Mr. Newton’s grandson at Ludhiana. This has occasioned a little delay in my replying. Mr. Corfield also was absent, having gone to[428] bring his wife from Dharmsala; but we expect him to-morrow morning, and then he shall know your wishes. I think that you will find the Ghurub-i-Aftab very quiet. You will see visitors or not, just as you please,—only give a hint of your wishes. When the dear Lord’s Servants honour me with a visit, I say that they gild9 my floors.
‘If it be not presumptuous10 in me to say so, I would express my feeling that there is something beautiful and elevating in the idea of one who was a Missionary before he was a Bishop, becoming a Missionary after leaving his Bishopric; laying down the crozier and mitre, to take up the simple Evangelist’s staff. Perhaps, my honoured Friend,—if permitted to call you so,—your grandest work is yet to come.—Yours with affectionate respect,
C. M. Tucker.
‘P.S.—Please offer my affectionate and grateful remembrances to dear Mrs. French.’
The Bishop’s visit came about, as hoped for; and it was a great pleasure to Miss Tucker to receive him. Although they might differ on certain points, they were one in absolute love and obedience11 to the same Lord and Master; and each thoroughly12 appreciated, thoroughly delighted in, the whole-hearted and single devotion of the other. In some respects the two were much alike. There was in both, as Dr. Weitbrecht has said, ‘a fiery13 impatience14 of difficulty or delay which sometimes led to mistakes.’ In both also there was a remarkable15 upliftedness,—if the word is permissible,—an absorption in things spiritual, which made earthly matters seem altogether unimportant by comparison.
The one drawback to Miss Tucker’s enjoyment16 was that she gave up to the Bishop her own little ‘house,’—and such changes had at her time of life grown to be somewhat of a trial. But she would not hear of a gentleman being permitted to sleep in ‘Sonnenschein,’ with the younger ladies,—not even her beloved and revered Bishop!! She had not perhaps entirely17 even yet lost sight of her old favourite idea of a home for Mission Miss Sahibas, into which a man’s foot might not enter. At all events, she[429] decided18 to sleep there herself, and to give up her little Sunset home to the Bishop. Which she did.
‘It was beautiful to see them together,’ Miss Dixie has said, when speaking of this visit, which lasted somewhat under a week. The Bishop and Miss Tucker went about in company, attended church together, and had many a long talk,—both of them white-haired, fragile in look, worn out with heavy toil19, aged20 beyond their years. Both would be so utterly21 absorbed in the subject under discussion, as to see nothing around, to hear nothing that went on. There was about each of them a remarkable Other-worldliness, to use a curious term, sometimes employed in this sense. They were citizens of Heaven, not of Earth; and they realised the fact to an extent not often equalled.
But with all her ‘Other-worldliness,’ Miss Tucker never lost the sense of fun and humour, as connected with the things of this world. One amusing little incident is told of the Bishop’s visit. He had brought with him a Muhammadan manservant. Miss Tucker habitually22 kept in her cupboard a small bottle of brandy, in case of need,—the brandy being well dosed with quinine, to render it unattractive. When the Bishop was gone, this little bottle was found to have vanished also. Miss Tucker, on making the discovery, went back to her friends, to exclaim, with an indescribable expression, ‘That greedy Muhammadan has taken the brandy?’—then bursting into a fit of laughter at the thought of his surprise on tasting the quinine. She often referred to this afterwards with great amusement.
It was remarkable in A. L. O. E. that she still, in old age, remembered and carefully followed in small matters her parents’ wishes. Not of course that her life was shaped by them. Probably old Mr. Tucker would have disapproved24 of few things more highly than of a woman undertaking25 such work as she undertook; but here she followed the dictates26 of her own conscience. In slighter questions,[430] where conscience was not involved, she loved to do what they had of old desired. Still, as always, she rose early to work, and went to bed in good time, according to the promise given long, long before. Still, when she drank afternoon tea, she always took something to eat with it, because ‘her Mother had liked her to do so.’ And often, though old and weak, when she caught herself to be stooping, she still would pull herself sharply upright, and say: ‘I remembered,—my dear Father always wanted me to sit straight.’
While habitually much interested in engagements and marriages, she was particular as to modes of speech on such subjects. Once or twice, when some girl-visitor spoke27 with what she considered an unbecoming lightness, upon some matter of love or love-making, Miss Tucker observed, after the girl’s departure,—‘My dear, what a vulgar person!!’
The same curious diversity of opinion as to particular points of Miss Tucker’s character which was observable in her English life, is also observable in her Indian life. Here again are opposite opinions. One says, ‘She was so peculiarly sympathetic!’ Another, with equally good opportunities for judging, says, ‘Exceedingly kind, but not sympathetic.’ One says, ‘She was so well able to put herself into the place of another in trouble!’ Another says, ‘No tact29; the kindest intentions, but she did not always know how to manage.’
The explanation lies, no doubt, at least in part, in her own many-sidedness, and in the very different manner in which she was affected30 by different people. Some appealed to her tenderness; some only called out her kindliness31. She could and did love intensely; but only in particular cases: and though to a wide outer circle she gave love, it was of a less ardent32 nature. Moreover, she could dislike people; and when she once took a marked dislike, though this was seldom, it would be not quite easy to make her view with fairness that person’s doings.
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She was very impulsive33 still; the same eager, enthusiastic warm-hearted being, who had lived in girlhood at No. 3,—modified, but not intrinsically different. Possibly, in old age, with weakened health, after living practically much alone, the natural tendency to hasty judgments34 may have somewhat increased. But if so, there was also an increase in the spirit of humility36, a far greater readiness than of old to acknowledge herself mistaken or in the wrong. By nature she was not gentle and had not self-control; and physical weakness doubtless often rendered the fight harder,—yet she persevered37 in the fight with never-failing resolution.
Sometimes she would hear of a thing done by one of the younger Missionaries38, and would at once condemn39 it, not waiting to learn all the circumstances, and speaking with some severity. A few days later something would turn up, explaining more fully23 the why and the wherefore of the action in question; and then she would say frankly40, ‘Well, I think I was wrong, after all! I think you were right to do as you did!’ A smaller and less noble nature would probably have refused to see the mistake, and would have clung obstinately41 to its own way of thinking.
Although she would occasionally speak hastily, she did not as a rule write hastily. If she could not in her letters praise a person, she would cease to bring forward that person’s name,—at all events in letters meant for general reading.
It may also be noted42 here that, as time went on, Charlotte Tucker, in her extreme desire for Missionary simplicity43 and economy, had become a little apt to push matters in that direction to an excess. Few people are constituted as she was, to toil hard and to live long upon the smallest possible minimum of food. As some of the weakness of old age crept over her, she was perhaps not always quite reasonable respecting Missionary requirements[432] and necessities. She would at times seem to expect others, for the sake of economy, to do with what she herself found sufficient, but which to their different constitutions meant something like semi-starvation. This at least is the impression of one who ought to be accounted a good judge, and it appears to have been in some degree a trouble to certain of her companions.
During all those long years of Indian life, amid the variety of people with whom she was thrown, while there were many whom she could love, and some whom she could love most warmly, there were also naturally a few who did not suit her, any more than she suited them. She may have been somewhat of a trial to them; and undoubtedly44 they were very much of a trial to her; yet despite all her natural impetuosity and impatience of disposition45, she bore long and patiently in such cases. As one says, who was with her in some of those later years, ‘Although sometimes hasty in judging, she was also capable of much forbearance.’
It is noticeable that one who knew her well speaks of a remarkable softening46 and increase of gentleness during the last three years of her life. Naturally very ‘up and down’ in her moods, she became then far more uniformly bright. The fruit was growing very ripe, almost ready to drop from the tree. Miss Wauton, too, tells of the growing loveliness of expression in her face, as the end drew nearer. But we have not yet quite arrived at those last three years.
By this time Miss Tucker was a little apt to fall behind in new methods of work, and to cling to what was old-fashioned. Needful changes in the High School were at first a trouble to her, even though they might be real improvements, tending to render the school more efficient. She liked, for instance, to drop in at odd hours, and to ‘take a class,’ after the manner of an English squire’s daughter dropping into the village school. As numbers and discipline increased it was found to be not always a[433] convenient plan, and objections were made. Miss Tucker one day, in a fit of depression at having to give up this and other things, is recorded to have said, ‘My work is done! I don’t care how soon I go now!’
This happily was a mere47 passing fit of sadness. It was soon after arranged that a Class of the older youths should go to her for instruction on Sunday afternoons; and in the class she found very great interest. She would also ask her ‘dear boys,’ a few at a time, to spend week-day evenings with her, for games of play, which she enjoyed fully as much as they did. She was very much beloved by the boys; and they were no less delighted to come to her than she was to have them. Her influence over these boys, over Indian Christians49 generally, and over most of the Missionaries with whom she came in contact, will never be forgotten.
The springy step of earlier years was not quite lost, even in old age. Another thing that she kept remarkably50 long was, as earlier stated, her voice for singing. It had of course grown thin and weak, and was now a good deal cracked; still she did not sing out of tune51; and her enjoyment in singing never failed. It was with her the natural expression of her feelings. When she sang in Church, and when she played the harmonium, her whole face would light up in a marvellous manner. Indians—not Christians—would walk long distances, and be present in Church, simply to look upon the face of the Buzurg Miss Sahiba, as she sang or played. Such an illumination on the face of a human being was counted well worth some exertion52 to see. Another account tells of a Native who would go to Church for the express purpose of watching her look, when she recited the Gloria. It was all so real to A. L. O. E. Her very smile was a sermon in itself.
All these years Zenana teaching went steadfastly53 on. She ever had before her mind a keen sense that her own[434] call might come before another morning’s dawn, and that the present might be her last opportunity of speaking. Sometimes she would be depressed54 when reading of others who had had more apparent results to their work; yet through countless55 discouragements she never slackened.
The same Native Christian48 from whom I have quoted earlier as to the non-success, in his opinion, of her Missionary labours, says also about Miss Tucker: ‘She was far from being a good judge of the Indian character. I remember her pointing to a Native Christian, and saying that the very light of Heaven was being reflected from his countenance56, when in fact he had almost apostatised.’ But this was simply a repetition of the old tendency to think always the very best of everybody,—the habit being cultivated to such an excess as materially to interfere57 with her powers of perception in particular cases. It does not touch the question of her general understanding of the Indian character. Penetration58, as to individuals, was hardly one of her gifts; and few would hesitate to agree to the assertion that she thought a great deal better of many Natives than, unfortunately, they deserved. Her eyes were opened slowly through bitter and repeated disappointments. But to the last she would probably have preferred to be sometimes deceived, rather than to be always suspecting.
In the continuous pressure of her work and trials, Charlotte Tucker was a woman of prayer. Not that she was given to long and wordy outpourings; but she lived on the border-land of the Unseen, and she held incessant59 intercourse60 with her Divine Master. Whatever she felt, whatever she wanted, when she was afraid, when she was depressed, when things went wrong, when she could not see her way, the first impulse of her heart was always—prayer! Then she would wait to see His Will.
Systematic61 as were the entries in her Journal, those last[435] few years of life, she was apt to be a little forgetful,—which no doubt was the very reason that she started the Journal. She would come in and say to Miss Dixie, ‘Such a sweet young Bibi in a Zenana to-day, dear. She wants to see you.’ When Miss Dixie asked where the young Bibi lived, her recollections were confused, and she could not say. The name of Bibi, husband, and house had all escaped. Miss Dixie would then have to question the bearers as to where they had taken Miss Tucker, and so find out particulars.
The writing of books and booklets still continued to some extent; indeed, it could not have been long before this that she achieved a good-sized volume for young English readers, called—Pictures of St. Peter in an English Home. As its name might imply, it was controversial in character, being written against the errors of the Roman Church. She could not, however, work so hard now with her pen as in earlier years. Dr. Weitbrecht states that ‘her books for publication in England, the proceeds of which went to support local work, were mostly written during her brief summer holiday. It was when she felt her powers failing in this line that she set aside part of her patrimony62 to endow the “Mission Plough.”’
The absence of allusions63 to her own writings in years of correspondence is remarkable. Once in a way she speaks of what she is doing, but this is quite the exception. Her natural reserve showed strongly here. She had also a curious dislike to being questioned—a fact noticed by relatives in her English life years before; and one of her Missionary companions tells of it also. If questions were put direct, she would say, ‘I am not your Mother-Superior; don’t appeal to me!’—when her questioner was longing64 to have the benefit of her years of experience. A story is told of one gentleman, who came from a considerable distance, on purpose to consult Miss Tucker about some books that he meant to publish. The call was[436] a failure. Instead of gradually getting into conversation, and luring65 her on to tell what she knew, he asked point-blank the things that he wanted to hear; and the result was nil66. On his way back to the station, he inquired whether Miss Tucker had not lost her memory. Not at all, he was told,—but direct questioning always checked information.
In the November of 1887 the small Star-Dispensary was opened by Dr. Weitbrecht, for Miss Dixie. She had undergone some training in England; and though not ‘qualified67,’ she had it in her power to do much more for the women and children of the neighbourhood than their own people could do for them. Many objections have been made to the idea of a Dispensary anywhere, without a properly qualified doctor; and no doubt as soon as possible the latter should in all cases be supplied. But where a doctor cannot be had, then in default of what is better, a trained nurse can do a great deal to help, in ordinary cases of sickness or accident. The reception given to this little Dispensary soon showed how much it was valued.
In a letter of December 9th are some words of depression under difficulties, especially the difficulty of finding a new master for the ‘Plough School,’ as the former master was going away.
‘I send you and dear Leila a few words of St. Paul’s which seem to me so sweet and restful,—a pillow for weary heads. “Beloved of God, called to be saints.” It is often difficult to realise that we are beloved of God, because conscience says we do not deserve to be so. I have often to fight against discouragements.’
On the 21st of January 1888 is a mention of the ‘Missionary Ladies’ Conference,’ to be held in Amritsar late in February, with a hope that all would be ‘as friendly and good-tempered’ as on the previous occasion, five years earlier. Towards the close of February comes her report of what had occurred:—
[437]
‘Feb. 24, 1888.—I found your letter awaiting me this evening, when I returned from the four days’ Conference of Lady Missionaries at Amritsar.... Conferences are rather tiring. Sittings each day from 10 to 1, and 2 to 4, and always something besides. We had about sixty ladies, of various Denominations68 and Societies and Nationalities too, English, German, American, Indian. On Thursday, after our Conference work, we went to Church, and had such a solemn spiritual sermon from our new Bishop.[121] It was the first time that I ever had seen him.
‘In the evening there was rather a large meeting of Christians, both white and brown, to meet the Bishop. I was introduced to him; and we had—in the midst of the room—a quiet talk, which I do not think that I shall ever forget. It was almost as if we could at once meet heart to heart.... I think that he takes up his high office more as a burden and a Cross than a dignity. I felt greatly drawn69 towards him, and thank the Lord for sending us a holy and humble3 man.’
‘Feb. 28.—I must tell my loved Laura a little about the Conference, and the characteristic way in which M., the real, took me down a peg70 this evening. The first day nice Mrs. Perkins, presided; on the second another nice lady; I was particularly requested to sit in the chair on the third and the first half of the fourth days.
‘Now on the second there had been rather a hot discussion. There had been a show of hands; but numbers were so closely divided that we had to go by ballot71. Even then there was only a majority of one; and some of the members were absent, and some imperfectly informed. In short, when Char28 succeeded to office, the question was brought up again by a strong lady on the one side,—and then a paper was read by a strong lady on the other,—and I proposed that votes should be taken again, which resulted in a majority of four, I being one of the four. A lady of the minority called out, “It does not matter what is voted; we will all do just the same as before,”—which was more true than polite. Then there was another lady, who got up time after time, to make impracticable propositions; and she got snubbed and sat down and cried.... Oh dear, it does not do to be so thin-skinned! So you see, dear, all did not go on quite smoothly72 while I sat in the chair, with the bonnet73 on my head which you wore at dear Fred’s wedding!
‘This evening ... Herbert asked M. about the Conference. “I thought the first day nice, when Mrs. Perkins presided,” said she. I laughed a little again, and, I think, complimented her on her[438] sincerity74.... It was clear that M. did not admire my way of presiding. Now, I had been voted thanks at the meeting; but dear M.’s honesty made me feel more than I had done before that I had not been very efficient. It is a good thing to know the truth.
‘Is not this a funny little glimpse of life?... I doubt myself that there is much use in Conferences, except that it is nice that some dear workers should meet and know each other. We had many very choice ones.’
More than a year later Miss Tucker referred again to this Conference, when writing to Mrs. Hamilton upon the subject of whether or not secular75 teaching in schools should be undertaken by Missionary ladies:—
‘I cannot explain to you all the difficulties that surround the question. We had a kind of wordy battle on the matter at the Ladies’ Conference; and it was no good! When a lady proposed another Conference after another five years, I suggested after ten, but no one seconded poor Char! I am not calm and phlegmatic76 enough for these discussions, and, I am afraid, do not always see both sides of a question. I more and more now mistrust my own judgment35, and sometimes feel rather disgusted with—myself!’
There are thousands of people who lack the power of looking on both sides of a question; but among them all few are humble enough to acknowledge the fact!—still more, to distrust their own judgment.
When the Conference was over, Miss Tucker remarked to one of her companions, ‘I proposed ten years, because I thought that then I should not be here.’ She was ‘here’ five years later, but was within a few months of her call Home.
‘March 17, 1888.—I will tell you of a curious surprise I had a few days ago. I was in my duli in one of the streets of Batala, when I met one of my most highly respected Native friends, the dear old Pandit, now the Rev7. K. S.... A crowded street is not the place for a talk. The Pandit asked me to go to his village, O——, and had evidently some particular reason for his request. As the next day was one of my village days, I promised to go then.... If I thought much about the cause of a visit being desired, I guessed[439] that it either concerned some Mission work, or the health of the good Bibi. But I was utterly wide of the mark, and so I think will my Laura and Leila be, if they take to guessing.
‘The dear couple had set their hearts on presenting me with a beautiful, richly embroidered77 white Cashmere shawl, which the Bibi, I know not how long ago, had bought ... from some one in distress78. In vain I expostulated, in vain said that the lovely shawl was fit for the Queen, and that it was not suitable for me to wear anything so handsome; that it might be sold for the Mission. Both the smiling husband and wife were determined79 to have it round my shoulders; and I had to go away wearing it, though I took it off in the duli, and took care of it, as if it had been a child. Now, the Pandit and his wife want nothing from me; this was no case of giving in hopes of receiving. The whole thing took me by surprise.’
‘April 21.—We are soon to go—all in the heat—to share a 3 P.M. dinner at the Corfields, and meet the Bishop, Mr. Clark, and dear Herbert,—such a galaxy80 of good men, that we won’t mind the heat, especially as my plump wadded umbrella is a real protection.
‘I am reading—slowly—like a child enjoying a cake, that delightful81 Life of Bishop Gobat. I mean to buy a copy for myself; it would be so good for lending or extracting from. It is such a humbling82 book too. I feel like a barn-door chicken looking up at an eagle, and chirping83, “I’m a bird too!” A pretty difference between them! Now to put on your sun-hat, and be off.’
‘April 26.—You are quite right if you think your unnamed convert’s idea of his baptism killing84 his mother a false one. It seems the regular trick here to draw back converts from Christ by telling them of a mother’s illness. We feel in such cases the force of our Lord’s words, “Let the dead bury their dead!” It seems hard at first; but experience shows us how needful is the caution.’
‘May 1.—Neither has April gone out smiling, nor did “May come laughing o’er the plain.” The one has gone out, the other came in,—in such a passion. It was so dark yesterday that I was reminded of a London fog. Minnie required a lamp to read by; a lamp, at 4? P.M. on a summer-day, shed its light on our dinner-table. This is my day for villages when I have extra kahars. I had ordered them not to come, should the day be as bad as yesterday; but come they did. Evidently these hardy85 fellows do not mind a dust-storm. They rather seem to enjoy it, ... and laughed merrily enough as we went along.’
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‘June 1, 1888.—I have to thank my sweet Laura for helping86 to provide me with a nice tussore dress for my visit to Murree. I cannot wear white there as I do in Batala, where it does not look odd, as almost every man, woman, and child appears in white. There is nothing like it for such hot weather. But in Murree, where there are many European ladies, I must dress more suitably, and also be prepared for any kind of weather, heat, cold, and torrents87 of rain. For my cold-weather apparel I have the very elegant grey dress, which dear W. and M. gave me a few years ago. When the weather is warmer my new tussore will be just the thing. I do not like writing so much about dress; but I wished to thank you for your kindness....
‘Excuse a short letter, love. I have so much writing in the way of thanking for gifts to the Mission. Friends are so very kind. I have asked a kind Station-lady, Mrs. G., whether she will help me to sell at Murree beautiful things sent from England for the Mission. I am a bad saleswoman myself. I sometimes feel inclined to tell people not to buy what they do not require.’
‘June 19, 1888.—I was so much interested to-day by our young Goorkha J.’s account of his own conversion88 and adventures, that I will try to write out the gist89 of it for you and dear Leila....
‘Born of a Brahmin family in Nepaul, our Goorkha thought of himself as a kind of god. He would motion to beings of lower dignity to sit at a little distance from him; he was not to be polluted by their touch. The child, however, attended a Mission School at D——, and came a good deal under the influence of a Christian Convert, a Pandit (learned man). At the age of about twelve the boy resolved to leave father, mother, all, for Christ. He was too young to be baptized without his parents’ permission, and was advised to go a long way off. To be able to do so, the boy sold his valuable gold earrings90 and bracelets91, and, having thus a good stock of rupees, he made his start, not by any direct route, but through wild, uninhabited jungle.
‘He was accompanied and helped by an older Hindu, a sad rogue92, who had his own object, it appears, in assisting the flight of the wealthy young Brahmin. The country was rocky and infested93 by wild beasts. For two nights the fugitives94 slept in the trees, for protection against leopards95, bears, and tigers. But this extreme discomfort96 could not be endured a third night; so they slept on the ground, after lighting97 fires to prevent any attack from fierce animals roaming about. The boy awoke,—I am not sure whether it was on that or a succeeding morning,—to find that the false Hindu had decamped with his money, clothes, etc. Happily, the boy-convert[441] had secreted98 on his own person fifteen or twenty rupees; and with these, in the torn dirty clothes left to him still, the Brahmin went on, and found his way to where some Hindus dwelt. These were kind, but tried to dissuade99 him from changing his religion. The Goorkha was, however, evidently a boy of strong character. He made his way to a train, the first which he had ever entered, and reached Calcutta at last.
‘Here he wandered from place to place, to find a school. Providence100 at last put the boy under the kind, almost paternal101, care of the Rev. —— B., who nursed him through illness, and fed him himself. The Brahmin at first chose only to drink milk; evidently he still clung to caste. However, his prejudices wore away. Mr. B. took the lad on an itinerating tour, and afterwards placed him at school, first at C——, afterwards at R——. At R—— our boy, after receiving more religious instruction,—for he says that he knew very little,—was baptized by the name of J. After a while he was sent to Batala.... I hope that after a while he will study at a Theological College, and become a Catechist and Missionary to his own people. J. has written two or three times to his parents, but his letters have been returned....
‘I am writing very early this week, as I propose starting for Murree to-morrow.’
‘Murree, July 11.—On Friday week I propose beginning my homeward flight to Batala. It will be a different sort of life at the Gurub-i-Aftab. Here there are morning callers, and afternoon visitors, and luncheons102, and tea-parties, and many a box-wala[122] or kapra-wala brings his wares103, to tempt104 us, spreading out a variety of pretty things.... One of my pleasures is to see the lovely fair blue-eyed children going about with their ayahs. I am so much accustomed to see brown babies, that some of the English ones look to me almost like cherubs105. The church-going is a great gratification; it is so nice to have prayers and sermon in English, and I greatly enjoy the hymns106.... I enjoy my quiet morning walks in the lovely wooded paths on the hills. This house is very conveniently situated107 near the church; so one does not require much mounting, which is tiring. I do not attempt long walks, but stroll about. My dear Rowland and Helen have had much anxiety about their little Robin108.’
‘Batala, Aug. 9, 1888.—As our Dr. Miss Sahiba, Minnie, is away, I have now and then to try my ‘prentice hand a little, but in a very[442] humble, cautious way. I have nothing to do with making pills, but have invested in big bottles of castor-oil and turpentine. I have quinine, of course, and ammonia in case of bites or stings. I don’t revel109 in physic, like Minnie; and dimness of sight and want of steadiness of hand do not serve to make me more fit to add Doctor to my name. What a blessing110 it is that some people actually like doctoring! I remember saying to my ... kind-hearted ——, now a doctor, that operations must be trying. “I like them,” was his simple, truthful111 reply. Well—Buckland liked playing with snails112 and snakes. De gustibus non disputandum!’
On September the 10th, speaking of a planned trip to Lahore, to see her nephew and niece, she continues:—
‘I propose after parting with the dear ones to sleep at the Mission House at Amritsar, and to-morrow go to the hospital, to see my dear ayah, Hannah, whom we sent there, not knowing that—as we fear—a deadly illness is on her. Dear, gentle, loving Hannah! she has served me faithfully for about seven years; and in all that time I cannot remember her doing one wrong thing, or saying one wrong word. A humble, gentle Christian, good wife, good mother,—ah! she is a sad loss to her family of seven, ... and also to your loving Char.’
‘Nov. 1. 1888.—The first of November, darling Laura, and I am preparing for cold weather. I have taken my chhota janwar[123] (little animal, alias113 dear Fred’s splendid foot-muff) out of its bag, to keep my feet warm in the morning, before my bath is ready. Eiderdown petticoat, etc., etc. O luxurious114 Char! It was a pleasure to me to-day to pay F., my new ayah, her first month’s wages; there was a pleasant, half-grateful look in her eyes.... I like paying wages.
‘My last dear ayah is not forgotten. I have given orders for a modest little monument of brick and mortar115, to mark where Hannah sleeps. We have no stones here. I went to the cemetery116 with the mason, ... to give directions, and was struck by finding a tiny but touching117 memorial already on the spot. A very little wooden Cross, covered with paper, to facilitate the writing of an inscription118. There was the date, of course in Urdu, and “Not dead, but sleepeth”; and “The Lord gave; the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the Name of the Lord.” This tribute of love had been placed over his dear Mother’s grave by J., the eldest119 son[443] here, a lad of about fourteen. I mean to keep to his inscription, when the humble monument is placed over Hannah’s dust. Dear woman! she was of the meek120 and quiet spirits who are precious to the Lord.’
‘Nov. 23.—The last mail brought me letters both from my loved Laura and dear Leila; to both many thanks. My sunstroke was nothing to tell you about; for though I was sickening two days, the illness only lasted about six hours, and left, thank God, no dregs behind. I awoke quite serene121 from the state which had so alarmed my good friends, was able that very day to hold a little Bible-meeting, and to go to my city-work next day.’
About this time Mrs. Herbert Weitbrecht, who was then in England, wrote to Mrs. Hamilton, upon the question of Miss Tucker being advised to go home. As will be seen from the following little extract, her view was strongly adverse122 to this step.
‘For one thing, the cold, in which Mrs. —— revels123, would try the Auntie very severely124. But there is more than this. You know she used to speak very freely to me; and I have a strong impression that she did not let you and her other friends at home know how much she suffered from the parting, how great a wrench125 it was to her. She used to say that she ... dreaded126 above everything the thought of having to go through such partings again.’
Probably no persuasions127 would have induced Miss Tucker to return. She had steadily128 made up her mind that in India she would live and die. Unless, indeed, she should be called elsewhere! At this very time she was deeply interested in the Andaman Islands, over which her nephew, Major Louis Tucker, had been appointed Chief Commissioner129. On learning that a Mission among the Convicts was sorely needed there, she is said to have offered herself for the purpose,—if she could do good by going. Probably she thought of it as merely a temporary thing; as inaugurating, not as carrying on permanently130, the work. But at her age, and in her feeble health, the very suggestion shows marvellous courage and energy.
[444]
The next letter is about a difficult case in England: a young Indian, with whom Mrs. Hamilton was acquainted:—
‘Dec. 1.—I have not answered your letter about poor Q. in haste. I received it the day before yesterday. Perhaps you will not like my thoughts; but you had better know them, sweet sister....
‘It is a characteristic of the Native character to have little sense of sin. A conscience seems a thing to be created. Q. does not seem to see how grievously he has sinned, is sinning. He is clearly denying the Lord Who bought him; and that for worldly gain. Darling Laura, have you quite realised the greatness of the sin? To my view it was a mistake to ask Q. to dinner. “With such an one, no, not so much as to eat.” Until Q. deeply repents131, he is not fit to sit at your table....
‘You may cite the Parable132 of the Prodigal133 Son. That is exactly what I would cite for my view of the subject. Poor Q., if a son, is the Prodigal Son, beginning to be in want, and hiring himself out,—feeding swine. If, when he was longing for even husks, he had been coaxed134 and asked out to dinner, would he ever have “come to himself,” would he ever have cried, “I will arise, and go to my Father?” Was it easy for him to go, in a far country, as he was? Was he not ready to sacrifice his pride, and go amongst his Father’s servants as a beggar? If Q. would have the Prodigal’s reception, he must do what the Prodigal did.
‘Perhaps my Laura will remind me of St. Paul’s injunction to the Corinthians to take back and “comfort” a gross sinner. But, remember, that man had first had some mysterious terrible punishment,—“delivered over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh,”—and he was so deeply penitent135, that there was danger of his being “swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.” When Q. repents like that, let us all receive him and comfort him.’
Some may count this letter stern, viewed in the light of modern lax and easy notions. But Charlotte Tucker knew what she was about. She was living, at Batala, in the First Century of Christianity. Things would often be very differently viewed by us in England, if we could see them from the standpoint of the First instead of the Nineteenth Century.
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1
bishop
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| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
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retirement
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| n.退休，退职 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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missionary
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| adj.教会的，传教(士)的；n.传教士 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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rev
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| v.发动机旋转，加快速度 | |
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revered
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| v.崇敬，尊崇，敬畏( revere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gild
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| vt.给…镀金，把…漆成金色，使呈金色 | |
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presumptuous
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| adj.胆大妄为的，放肆的，冒昧的，冒失的 | |
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obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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habitually
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| ad.习惯地，通常地 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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disapproved
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| v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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undertaking
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| n.保证，许诺，事业 | |
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dictates
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| n.命令，规定，要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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char
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| v.烧焦；使...燃烧成焦炭 | |
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tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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kindliness
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| n.厚道，亲切，友好的行为 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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impulsive
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| adj.冲动的，刺激的；有推动力的 | |
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judgments
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| 判断( judgment的名词复数 )； 鉴定； 评价； 审判 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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persevered
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| v.坚忍，坚持( persevere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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missionaries
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| n.传教士( missionary的名词复数 ) | |
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condemn
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| vt.谴责，指责；宣判(罪犯)，判刑 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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obstinately
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| ad.固执地，顽固地 | |
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noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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softening
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| 变软，软化 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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Christians
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| n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 ) | |
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50
remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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51
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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52
exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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53
steadfastly
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| adv.踏实地，不变地；岿然；坚定不渝 | |
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54
depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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55
countless
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| adj.无数的，多得不计其数的 | |
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56
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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57
interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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58
penetration
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| n.穿透，穿人，渗透 | |
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59
incessant
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| adj.不停的，连续的 | |
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60
intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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61
systematic
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| adj.有系统的，有计划的，有方法的 | |
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62
patrimony
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| n.世袭财产，继承物 | |
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63
allusions
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| 暗指，间接提到( allusion的名词复数 ) | |
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64
longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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65
luring
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| 吸引，引诱（lure的现在分词形式） | |
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nil
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| n.无，全无，零 | |
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qualified
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| adj.合格的，有资格的，胜任的，有限制的 | |
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denominations
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| n.宗派( denomination的名词复数 )；教派；面额；名称 | |
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69
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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70
peg
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| n.木栓，木钉；vt.用木钉钉，用短桩固定 | |
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71
ballot
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| n.（不记名）投票，投票总数，投票权；vi.投票 | |
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72
smoothly
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| adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地 | |
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73
bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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74
sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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75
secular
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| n.牧师，凡人；adj.世俗的，现世的，不朽的 | |
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76
phlegmatic
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| adj.冷静的，冷淡的，冷漠的，无活力的 | |
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77
embroidered
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| adj．绣花的 | |
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78
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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galaxy
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| n.星系；银河系；一群(杰出或著名的人物) | |
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81
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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82
humbling
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| adj.令人羞辱的v.使谦恭( humble的现在分词 )；轻松打败（尤指强大的对手）；低声下气 | |
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chirping
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| 鸟叫，虫鸣( chirp的现在分词 ) | |
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84
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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hardy
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| adj.勇敢的，果断的，吃苦的；耐寒的 | |
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86
helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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torrents
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| n.倾注；奔流( torrent的名词复数 )；急流；爆发；连续不断 | |
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conversion
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| n.转化，转换，转变 | |
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gist
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| n.要旨；梗概 | |
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90
earrings
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| n.耳环( earring的名词复数 )；耳坠子 | |
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bracelets
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| n.手镯，臂镯( bracelet的名词复数 ) | |
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92
rogue
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| n.流氓；v.游手好闲 | |
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93
infested
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| adj.为患的，大批滋生的（常与with搭配）v.害虫、野兽大批出没于( infest的过去式和过去分词 )；遍布于 | |
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fugitives
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| n.亡命者，逃命者( fugitive的名词复数 ) | |
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leopards
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| n.豹( leopard的名词复数 )；本性难移 | |
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discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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secreted
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| v.（尤指动物或植物器官）分泌( secrete的过去式和过去分词 )；隐匿，隐藏 | |
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dissuade
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| v.劝阻，阻止 | |
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100
providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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paternal
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| adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的 | |
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luncheons
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| n.午餐，午宴( luncheon的名词复数 ) | |
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wares
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| n. 货物, 商品 | |
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tempt
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| vt.引诱，勾引，吸引，引起…的兴趣 | |
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cherubs
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| 小天使，胖娃娃( cherub的名词复数 ) | |
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106
hymns
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| n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌( hymn的名词复数 ) | |
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situated
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| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
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robin
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| n.知更鸟，红襟鸟 | |
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109
revel
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| vi.狂欢作乐，陶醉；n.作乐，狂欢 | |
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110
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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truthful
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| adj.真实的，说实话的，诚实的 | |
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112
snails
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| n.蜗牛；迟钝的人；蜗牛( snail的名词复数 ) | |
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alias
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| n.化名；别名；adv.又名 | |
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luxurious
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| adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的 | |
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115
mortar
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| n.灰浆，灰泥；迫击炮；v.把…用灰浆涂接合 | |
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116
cemetery
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| n.坟墓，墓地，坟场 | |
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117
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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118
inscription
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| n.（尤指石块上的）刻印文字，铭文，碑文 | |
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119
eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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120
meek
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| adj.温顺的，逆来顺受的 | |
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121
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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122
adverse
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| adj.不利的；有害的；敌对的，不友好的 | |
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123
revels
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| n.作乐( revel的名词复数 )；狂欢；着迷；陶醉v.作乐( revel的第三人称单数 )；狂欢；着迷；陶醉 | |
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124
severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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125
wrench
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| v.猛拧；挣脱；使扭伤；n.扳手；痛苦，难受 | |
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126
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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127
persuasions
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| n.劝说，说服（力）( persuasion的名词复数 )；信仰 | |
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128
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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129
commissioner
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| n.（政府厅、局、处等部门）专员，长官，委员 | |
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130
permanently
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| adv.永恒地，永久地，固定不变地 | |
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131
repents
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| 对（自己的所为）感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的第三人称单数 ) | |
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132
parable
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| n.寓言，比喻 | |
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133
prodigal
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| adj.浪费的，挥霍的，放荡的 | |
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134
coaxed
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| v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的过去式和过去分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱 | |
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135
penitent
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| adj.后悔的；n.后悔者；忏悔者 | |
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