Miss Brontë gives the following reasons as those which prevented Emily’s remaining at school, and caused the substitution of her younger sister in her place at Miss W---’s:—
“My sister Emily loved the moors. Flowers brighter than the rose bloomed in the blackest of the heath for her;—out of a sullen5 hollow in a livid hill-side, her mind could make an Eden. She found in the bleak6 solitude7 many and dear delights; and not the least and best-loved was—liberty. Liberty was the breath of Emily’s nostrils8; without it she perished. The change from her own home to a school, and from her own very noiseless, very secluded9, but unrestricted and unartificial mode of life, to one of disciplined routine (though under the kindest auspices), was what she failed in enduring. Her nature proved here too strong for her fortitude11. Every morning, when she woke, the vision of home and the moors rushed on her, and darkened and saddened the day that lay before her. Nobody knew what ailed10 her but me. I knew only too well. In this struggle her health was quickly broken: her white face, attenuated12 form, and failing strength, threatened rapid decline. I felt in my heart she would die, if she did not go home, and with this conviction obtained her recall. She had only been three months at school; and it was some years before the experiment of sending her from home was again ventured on.”
This physical suffering on Emily’s part when absent from Haworth, after recurring14 several times under similar circumstances, became at length so much an acknowledged fact, that whichever was obliged to leave home, the sisters decided15 that Emily must remain there, where alone she could enjoy anything like good health. She left it twice again in her life; once going as teacher to a school in Halifax for six months, and afterwards accompanying Charlotte to Brussels for ten. When at home, she took the principal part of the cooking upon herself, and did all the household ironing; and after Tabby grew old and infirm, it was Emily who made all the bread for the family; and any one passing by the kitchen-door, might have seen her studying German out of an open book, propped16 up before her, as she kneaded the dough17; but no study, however interesting, interfered19 with the goodness of the bread, which was always light and excellent. Books were, indeed, a very common sight in that kitchen; the girls were taught by their father theoretically, and by their aunt, practically, that to take an active part in all household work was, in their position, woman’s simple duty; but in their careful employment of time, they found many an odd five minutes for reading while watching the cakes, and managed the union of two kinds of employment better than King Alfred.
Charlotte’s life at Miss W---’s was a very happy one, until her health failed. She sincerely loved and respected the former schoolmistress, to whom she was now become both companion and friend. The girls were hardly strangers to her, some of them being younger sisters of those who had been her own playmates. Though the duties of the day might be tedious and monotonous21, there were always two or three happy hours to look forward to in the evening, when she and Miss W--- sat together—sometimes late into the night—and had quiet pleasant conversations, or pauses of silence as agreeable, because each felt that as soon as a thought or remark occurred which they wished to express, there was an intelligent companion ready to sympathise, and yet they were not compelled to “make talk.”
Miss W--- was always anxious to afford Miss Brontë every opportunity of recreation in her power; but the difficulty often was to persuade her to avail herself of the invitations which came, urging her to spend Saturday and Sunday with “E.” and “Mary,” in their respective homes, that lay within the distance of a walk. She was too apt to consider, that allowing herself a holiday was a dereliction of duty, and to refuse herself the necessary change, from something of an over-ascetic spirit, betokening22 a loss of healthy balance in either body or mind. Indeed, it is clear that such was the case, from a passage, referring to this time, in the letter of “Mary” from which I have before given extracts.
“Three years after—” (the period when they were at school together)—“I heard that she had gone as teacher to Miss W---’s. I went to see her, and asked how she could give so much for so little money, when she could live without it. She owned that, after clothing herself and Anne, there was nothing left, though she had hoped to be able to save something. She confessed it was not brilliant, but what could she do? I had nothing to answer. She seemed to have no interest or pleasure beyond the feeling of duty, and, when she could get, used to sit alone, and ‘make out.’ She told me afterwards, that one evening she had sat in the dressing-room until it was quite dark, and then observing it all at once, had taken sudden fright.” No doubt she remembered this well when she described a similar terror getting hold upon Jane Eyre. She says in the story, “I sat looking at the white bed and overshadowed walls—occasionally turning a fascinated eye towards the gleaming mirror—I began to recall what I had heard of dead men troubled in their graves . . . I endeavoured to be firm; shaking my hair from my eyes, I lifted my head and tried to look boldly through the dark room; at this moment, a ray from the moon penetrated24 some aperture25 in the blind. No! moon light was still, and this stirred . . . prepared as my mind was for horror, shaken as my nerves were by agitation26, I thought the swift-darting beam was a herald27 of some coming vision from another world. My heart beat thick, my head grew hot; a sound filled my ears which I deemed the rustling28 of wings; something seemed near me.” {4}
“From that time,” Mary adds, “her imaginations became gloomy or frightful29; she could not help it, nor help thinking. She could not forget the gloom, could not sleep at night, nor attend in the day.
“She told me that one night, sitting alone, about this time, she heard a voice repeat these lines:
“‘Come thou high and holy feeling,
Shine o’er mountain, flit o’er wave,
“There were eight or ten more lines which I forget. She insisted that she had not made them, that she had heard a voice repeat them. It is possible that she had read them, and unconsciously recalled them. They are not in the volume of poems which the sisters published. She repeated a verse of Isaiah, which she said had inspired them, and which I have forgotten. Whether the lines were recollected31 or invented, the tale proves such habits of sedentary, monotonous solitude of thought as would have shaken a feebler mind.”
Of course, the state of health thus described came on gradually, and is not to be taken as a picture of her condition in 1836. Yet even then there is a despondency in some of her expressions, that too sadly reminds one of some of Cowper’s letters. And it is remarkable32 how deeply his poems impressed her. His words, his verses, came more frequently to her memory, I imagine, than those of any other poet.
“Mary” says: “Cowper’s poem, ‘The Castaway,’ was known to them all, and they all at times appreciated, or almost appropriated it. Charlotte told me once that Branwell had done so; and though his depression was the result of his faults, it was in no other respect different from hers. Both were not mental but physical illnesses. She was well aware of this, and would ask how that mended matters, as the feeling was there all the same, and was not removed by knowing the cause. She had a larger religious toleration than a person would have who had never questioned, and the manner of recommending religion was always that of offering comfort, not fiercely enforcing a duty. One time I mentioned that some one had asked me what religion I was of (with the view of getting me for a partizan), and that I had said that that was between God and me;—Emily (who was lying on the hearth-rug) exclaimed, ‘That’s right.’ This was all I ever heard Emily say on religious subjects. Charlotte was free from religious depression when in tolerable health; when that failed, her depression returned. You have probably seen such instances. They don’t get over their difficulties; they forget them, when their stomach (or whatever organ it is that inflicts33 such misery34 on sedentary people) will let them. I have heard her condemn35 Socinianism, Calvinism, and many other ‘isms’ inconsistent with Church of Englandism. I used to wonder at her acquaintance with such subjects.”
“May 10th, 1836.
“I was struck with the note you sent me with the umbrella; it showed a degree of interest in my concerns which I have no right to expect from any earthly creature. I won’t play the hypocrite; I won’t answer your kind, gentle, friendly questions in the way you wish me to. Don’t deceive yourself by imagining I have a bit of real goodness about me. My darling, if I were like you, I should have my face Zion-ward, though prejudice and error might occasionally fling a mist over the glorious vision before me—but I am not like you. If you knew my thoughts, the dreams that absorb me, and the fiery36 imagination that at times eats me up, and makes me feel society, as it is, wretchedly insipid38, you would pity and I dare say despise me. But I know the treasures of the Bible; I love and adore them. I can see the Well of Life in all its clearness and brightness; but when I stoop down to drink of the pure waters they fly from my lips as if I were Tantalus.
“You are far too kind and frequent in your invitations. You puzzle me. I hardly know how to refuse, and it is still more embarrassing to accept. At any rate, I cannot come this week, for we are in the very thickest melée of the Repetitions. I was hearing the terrible fifth section when your note arrived. But Miss Wooler says I must go to Mary next Friday, as she promised for me on Whit-Sunday; and on Sunday morning I will join you at church, if it be convenient, and stay till Monday. There’s a free and easy proposal! Miss W--- has driven me to it. She says her character is implicated39.”
Good, kind Miss W---! however monotonous and trying were the duties Charlotte had to perform under her roof, there was always a genial40 and thoughtful friend watching over her, and urging her to partake of any little piece of innocent recreation that might come in her way. And in those Midsummer holidays of 1836, her friend E. came to stay with her at Haworth, so there was one happy time secured.
Here follows a series of letters, not dated, but belonging to the latter portion of this year; and again we think of the gentle and melancholy42 Cowper.
“My dear dear E.,
“I am at this moment trembling all over with excitement, after reading your note; it is what I never received before—it is the unrestrained pouring out of a warm, gentle, generous heart . . . I thank you with energy for this kindness. I will no longer shrink from answering your questions. I do wish to be better than I am. I pray fervently43 sometimes to be made so. I have stings of conscience, visitings of remorse44, glimpses of holy, of inexpressible things, which formerly45 I used to be a stranger to; it may all die away, and I may be in utter midnight, but I implore46 a merciful Redeemer, that, if this be the dawn of the gospel, it may still brighten to perfect day. Do not mistake me—do not think I am good; I only wish to be so. I only hate my former flippancy47 and forwardness. Oh! I am no better than ever I was. I am in that state of horrid48, gloomy uncertainty49 that, at this moment, I would submit to be old, grey-haired, to have passed all my youthful days of enjoyment50, and to be settling on the verge51 of the grave, if I could only thereby52 ensure the prospect53 of reconciliation54 to God, and redemption through his Son’s merits. I never was exactly careless of these matters, but I have always taken a clouded and repulsive55 view of them; and now, if possible, the clouds are gathering56 darker, and a more oppressive despondency weighs on my spirits. You have cheered me, my darling; for one moment, for an atom of time, I thought I might call you my own sister in the spirit; but the excitement is past, and I am now as wretched and hopeless as ever. This very night I will pray as you wish me. May the Almighty57 hear me compassionately58! and I humbly59 hope he will, for you will strengthen my polluted petitions with your own pure requests. All is bustle60 and confusion round me, the ladies pressing with their sums and their lessons . . . If you love me, do, do, do come on Friday: I shall watch and wait for you, and if you disappoint me I shall weep. I wish you could know the thrill of delight which I experienced, when, as I stood at the dining-room window, I saw ---, as he whirled past, toss your little packet over the wall.”
Huddersfield market-day was still the great period for events at Roe Head. Then girls, running round the corner of the house and peeping between tree-stems, and up a shadowy lane, could catch a glimpse of a father or brother driving to market in his gig; might, perhaps, exchange a wave of the hand; or see, as Charlotte Brontë did from the window, a white packet tossed over the avail by come swift strong motion of an arm, the rest of the traveller’s body unseen.
“Weary with a day’s hard work . . . I am sitting down to write a few lines to my dear E. Excuse me if I say nothing but nonsense, for my mind is exhausted61 and dispirited. It is a stormy evening, and the wind is uttering a continual moaning sound, that makes me feel very melancholy. At such times—in such moods as these—it is my nature to seek repose62 in some calm tranquil63 idea, and I have now summoned up your image to give me rest. There you sit, upright and still in your black dress, and white scarf, and pale marble-like face—just like reality. I wish you would speak to me. If we should be separated—if it should be our lot to live at a great distance, and never to see each other again—in old age, how I should conjure64 up the memory of my youthful days, and what a melancholy pleasure I should feel in dwelling65 on the recollection of my early friend! . . . I have some qualities that make me very miserable66, some feelings that you can have no participation67 in—that few, very few, people in the world can at all understand. I don’t pride myself on these peculiarities68. I strive to conceal69 and suppress them as much as I can; but they burst out sometimes, and then those who see the explosion despise me, and I hate myself for days afterwards . . . I have just received your epistle and what accompanied it. I can’t tell what should induce you and your sisters to waste your kindness on such a one as me. I’m obliged to them, and I hope you’ll tell them so. I’m obliged to you also, more for your note than for your present. The first gave me pleasure, the last something like pain.”
* * * * *
The nervous disturbance70, which is stated to have troubled her while she was at Miss W---’s, seems to have begun to distress71 her about this time; at least, she herself speaks of her irritable72 condition, which was certainly only a temporary ailment73.
“You have been very kind to me of late, and have spared me all those little sallies of ridicule74, which, owing to my miserable and wretched touchiness75 of character, used formerly to make me wince76, as if I had been touched with a hot iron; things that nobody else cares for, enter into my mind and rankle77 there like venom78. I know these feelings are absurd, and therefore I try to hide them, but they only sting the deeper for concealment79.”
Compare this state of mind with the gentle resignation with which she had submitted to be put aside as useless, or told of her ugliness by her school-fellows, only three years before.
“My life since I saw you has passed as monotonously80 and unbroken as ever; nothing but teach, teach, teach, from morning till night. The greatest variety I ever have is afforded by a letter from you, or by meeting with a pleasant new book. The ‘Life of Oberlin,’ and ‘Leigh Richmond’s Domestic Portraiture,’ are the last of this description. The latter work strongly attracted and strangely fascinated my attention. Beg, borrow, or steal it without delay; and read the ‘Memoir of Wilberforce,’—that short record of a brief uneventful life; I shall never forget it; it is beautiful, not on account of the language in which it is written, not on account of the incidents it details, but because of the simple narrative81 it gives of a young talented sincere Christian82.”
* * * * *
About this time Miss W--- removed her school from the fine, open, breezy situation of Roe Head, to Dewsbury Moor4, only two or three miles distant. Her new residence was on a lower site, and the air was less exhilarating to one bred in the wild hill-village of Haworth. Emily had gone as teacher to a school at Halifax, where there were nearly forty pupils.
“I have had one letter from her since her departure,” writes Charlotte, on October 2nd, 1836: “it gives an appalling83 account of her duties; hard labour from six in the morning to eleven at night, with only one half-hour of exercise between. This is slavery. I fear she can never stand it.”
* * * * *
When the sisters met at home in the Christmas holidays, they talked over their lives, and the prospect which they afforded of employment and remuneration. They felt that it was a duty to relieve their father of the burden of their support, if not entirely84, or that of all three, at least that of one or two; and, naturally, the lot devolved upon the elder ones to find some occupation which would enable them to do this. They knew that they were never likely to inherit much money. Mr. Brontë had but a small stipend85, and was both charitable and liberal. Their aunt had an annuity86 of 50l., but it reverted87 to others at her death, and her nieces had no right, and were the last persons in the world to reckon upon her savings88. What could they do? Charlotte and Emily were trying teaching, and, as it seemed, without much success. The former, it is true, had the happiness of having a friend for her employer, and of being surrounded by those who knew her and loved her; but her salary was too small for her to save out of it; and her education did not entitle her to a larger. The sedentary and monotonous nature of the life, too, was preying89 upon her health and spirits, although, with necessity “as her mistress,” she might hardly like to acknowledge this even to herself. But Emily—that free, wild, untameable spirit, never happy nor well but on the sweeping90 moors that gathered round her home—that hater of strangers, doomed91 to live amongst them, and not merely to live but to slave in their service—what Charlotte could have borne patiently for herself, she could not bear for her sister. And yet what to do? She had once hoped that she herself might become an artist, and so earn her livelihood92; but her eyes had failed her in the minute and useless labour which she had imposed upon herself with a view to this end.
It was the household custom among these girls to sew till nine o’clock at night. At that hour, Miss Branwell generally went to bed, and her nieces’ duties for the day were accounted done. They put away their work, and began to pace the room backwards93 and forwards, up and down,—as often with the candles extinguished, for economy’s sake, as not,—their figures glancing into the fire-light, and out into the shadow, perpetually. At this time, they talked over past cares and troubles; they planned for the future, and consulted each other as to their plans. In after years this was the time for discussing together the plots of their novels. And again, still later, this was the time for the last surviving sister to walk alone, from old accustomed habit, round and round the desolate94 room, thinking sadly upon the “days that were no more.” But this Christmas of 1836 was not without its hopes and daring aspirations95. They had tried their hands at story-writing, in their miniature magazine, long ago; they all of them “made out” perpetually. They had likewise attempted to write poetry; and had a modest confidence that they had achieved a tolerable success. But they knew that they might deceive themselves, and that sisters’ judgments98 of each other’s productions were likely to be too partial to be depended upon. So Charlotte, as the eldest99, resolved to write to Southey. I believe (from an expression in a letter to be noticed hereafter), that she also consulted Coleridge; but I have not met with any part of that correspondence.
On December 29th, her letter to Southey was despatched; and from an excitement not unnatural100 in a girl who has worked herself up to the pitch of writing to a Poet Laureate and asking his opinion of her poems, she used some high-flown expressions which, probably, gave him the idea that she was a romantic young lady, unacquainted with the realities of life.
This, most likely, was the first of those adventurous101 letters that passed through the little post-office of Haworth. Morning after morning of the holidays slipped away, and there was no answer; the sisters had to leave home, and Emily to return to her distasteful duties, without knowing even whether Charlotte’s letter had ever reached its destination.
Not dispirited, however, by the delay, Branwell determined102 to try a similar venture, and addressed the following letter to Wordsworth. It was given by the poet to Mr. Quillinan in 1850, after the name of Brontë had become known and famous. I have no means of ascertaining103 what answer was returned by Mr. Wordsworth; but that he considered the letter remarkable may, I think, be inferred both from its preservation104, and its recurrence105 to his memory when the real name of Currer Bell was made known to the public.
“Haworth, near Bradford,
“Yorkshire, January 19, 1837.
“Sir,—I most earnestly entreat106 you to read and pass your judgment97 upon what I have sent you, because from the day of my birth to this the nineteenth year of my life, I have lived among secluded hills, where I could neither know what I was, or what I could do. I read for the same reason that I ate or drank; because it was a real craving107 of nature. I wrote on the same principle as I spoke108—out of the impulse and feelings of the mind; nor could I help it, for what came, came out, and there was the end of it. For as to self-conceit, that could not receive food from flattery, since to this hour, not half a dozen people in the world know that I have ever penned a line.
“But a change has taken place now, sir: and I am arrived at an age wherein I must do something for myself: the powers I possess must be exercised to a definite end, and as I don’t know them myself I must ask of others what they are worth. Yet there is not one here to tell me; and still, if they are worthless, time will henceforth be too precious to be wasted on them.
“Do pardon me, sir, that I have ventured to come before one whose works I have most loved in our literature, and who most has been with me a divinity of the mind, laying before him one of my writings, and asking of him a judgment of its contents. I must come before some one from whose sentence there is no appeal; and such a one is he who has developed the theory of poetry as well as its practice, and both in such a way as to claim a place in the memory of a thousand years to come.
“My aim, sir, is to push out into the open world, and for this I trust not poetry alone—that might launch the vessel110, but could not bear her on; sensible and scientific prose, bold and vigorous efforts in my walk in life, would give a farther title to the notice of the world; and then again poetry ought to brighten and crown that name with glory; but nothing of all this can be ever begun without means, and as I don’t possess these, I must in every shape strive to gain them. Surely, in this day, when there is not a writing poet worth a sixpence, the field must be open, if a better man can step forward.
“What I send you is the Prefatory Scene of a much longer subject, in which I have striven to develop strong passions and weak principles struggling with a high imagination and acute feelings, till, as youth hardens towards age, evil deeds and short enjoyments111 end in mental misery and bodily ruin. Now, to send you the whole of this would be a mock upon your patience; what you see, does not even pretend to be more than the description of an imaginative child. But read it, sir; and, as you would hold a light to one in utter darkness—as you value your own kindheartedness—return me an answer, if but one word, telling me whether I should write on, or write no more. Forgive undue112 warmth, because my feelings in this matter cannot be cool; and believe me, sir, with deep respect,
“P. B. Brontë”
The poetry enclosed seems to me by no means equal to parts of the letter; but, as every one likes to judge for himself, I copy the six opening stanzas—about a third of the whole, and certainly not the worst.
Amid his Paradise of light
Oh, why may I not be?
Oft when awake on Christmas morn,
Strange thoughts have o’er my mind been borne,
How he has died for me.
Have I awaked myself with crying
Upon the accursed Tree.
And often has my mother said,
While on her lap I laid my head,
She feared for time I was not made,
So “I can read my title clear,
And let me bid farewell to fear,
And wipe my weeping eyes.”
I’ll lay me down on this marble stone,
And set the world aside,
To see upon her ebon throne
The Moon in glory ride.
Soon after Charlotte returned to Dewsbury Moor, she was distressed122 by hearing that her friend “E.” was likely to leave the neighbourhood for a considerable length of time.
“Feb. 20th.
“What shall I do without you? How long are we likely to be separated? Why are we to be denied each other’s society? It is an inscrutable fatality123. I long to be with you, because it seems as if two or three days, or weeks, spent in your company would beyond measure strengthen me in the enjoyment of those feelings which I have so lately begun to cherish. You first pointed124 out to me that way in which I am so feebly endeavouring to travel, and now I cannot keep you by my side, I must proceed sorrowfully alone. Why are we to be divided? Surely, it must be because we are in danger of loving each other too well—of losing sight of the Creator in idolatry of the creature. At first, I could not say ‘Thy will be done!’ I felt rebellious125, but I knew it was wrong to feel so. Being left a moment alone this morning, I prayed fervently to be enabled to resign myself to every decree of God’s will, though it should be dealt forth109 by a far severer hand than the present disappointment; since then I have felt calmer and humbler, and consequently happier. Last Sunday I took up my Bible in a gloomy state of mind: I began to read—a feeling stole over me such as I have not known for many long years—a sweet, placid126 sensation, like those, I remember, which used to visit me when I was a little child, and, on Sunday evenings in summer, stood by the open window reading the life of a certain French nobleman, who attained128 a purer and higher degree of sanctity than has been known since the days of the early martyrs129.”
“E.’s” residence was equally within a walk from Dewsbury Moor as it had been from Roe Head; and on Saturday afternoons both “Mary” and she used to call upon Charlotte, and often endeavoured to persuade her to return with them, and be the guest of one of them till Monday morning; but this was comparatively seldom. Mary says:—“She visited us twice or thrice when she was at Miss W---’s. We used to dispute about politics and religion. She, a Tory and clergyman’s daughter, was always in a minority of one in our house of violent Dissent130 and Radicalism131. She used to hear over again, delivered with authority, all the lectures I had been used to give her at school on despotic aristocracy, mercenary priesthood, &c. She had not energy to defend herself; sometimes she owned to a little truth in it, but generally said nothing. Her feeble health gave her her yielding manner, for she could never oppose any one without gathering up all her strength for the struggle. Thus she would let me advise and patronise most imperiously, sometimes picking out any grain of sense there might be in what I said, but never allowing any one materially to interfere18 with her independence of thought and action. Though her silence sometimes left one under the impression that she agreed when she did not, she never gave a flattering opinion, and thus her words were golden, whether for praise or blame.”
“Mary’s” father was a man of remarkable intelligence, but of strong, not to say violent prejudices, all running in favour of Republicanism and Dissent. No other county but Yorkshire could have produced such a man. His brother had been a détenu in France, and had afterwards voluntarily taken up his residence there. Mr. T. himself had been much abroad, both on business and to see the great continental133 galleries of paintings. He spoke French perfectly134, I have been told, when need was; but delighted usually in talking the broadest Yorkshire. He bought splendid engravings of the pictures which he particularly admired, and his house was full of works of art and of books; but he rather liked to present his rough side to any stranger or new-comer; he would speak his broadest, bring out his opinions on Church and State in their most startling forms, and, by and by, if he found his hearer could stand the shock, he would involuntarily show his warm kind heart, and his true taste, and real refinement135. His family of four sons and two daughters were brought up on Republican principles; independence of thought and action was encouraged; no “shams” tolerated. They are scattered136 far and wide: Martha, the younger daughter, sleeps in the Protestant cemetery137 at Brussels; Mary is in New Zealand; Mr. T. is dead. And so life and death have dispersed138 the circle of “violent Radicals139 and Dissenters” into which, twenty years ago, the little, quiet, resolute140 clergyman’s daughter was received, and by whom she was truly loved and honoured.
January and February of 1837 had passed away, and still there was no reply from Southey. Probably she had lost expectation and almost hope when at length, in the beginning of March, she received the letter inserted in Mr. C. C. Southey’s life of his Father, vol. iv. p. 327.
After accounting141 for his delay in replying to hers by the fact of a long absence from home, during which his letters had accumulated, whence “it has lain unanswered till the last of a numerous file, not from disrespect or indifference142 to its contents, but because in truth it is not an easy task to answer it, nor a pleasant one to cast a damp over the high spirits and the generous desires of youth,” he goes on to say: “What you are I can only infer from your letter, which appears to be written in sincerity143, though I may suspect that you have used a fictitious144 signature. Be that as it may, the letter and the verses bear the same stamp, and I can well understand the state of mind they indicate.
* * * * *
“It is not my advice that you have asked as to the direction of your talents, but my opinion of them, and yet the opinion may be worth little, and the advice much. You evidently possess, and in no inconsiderable degree, what Wordsworth calls the ‘faculty145 of verse.’ I am not depreciating146 it when I say that in these times it is not rare. Many volumes of poems are now published every year without attracting public attention, any one of which if it had appeared half a century ago, would have obtained a high reputation for its author. Whoever, therefore, is ambitious of distinction in this way ought to be prepared for disappointment.
“But it is not with a view to distinction that you should cultivate this talent, if you consult your own happiness. I, who have made literature my profession, and devoted147 my life to it, and have never for a moment repented148 of the deliberate choice, think myself, nevertheless, bound in duty to caution every young man who applies as an aspirant149 to me for encouragement and advice, against taking so perilous150 a course. You will say that a woman has no need of such a caution; there can be no peril151 in it for her. In a certain sense this is true; but there is a danger of which I would, with all kindness and all earnestness, warn you. The day dreams in which you habitually152 indulge are likely to induce a distempered state of mind; and in proportion as all the ordinary uses of the world seem to you flat and unprofitable, you will be unfitted for them without becoming fitted for anything else. Literature cannot be the business of a woman’s life, and it ought not to be. The more she is engaged in her proper duties, the less leisure will she have for it, even as an accomplishment153 and a recreation. To those duties you have not yet been called, and when you are you will be less eager for celebrity154. You will not seek in imagination for excitement, of which the vicissitudes155 of this life, and the anxieties from which you must not hope to be exempted156, be your state what it may, will bring with them but too much.
“But do not suppose that I disparage157 the gift which you possess; nor that I would discourage you from exercising it. I only exhort158 you so to think of it, and so to use it, as to render it conducive159 to your own permanent good. Write poetry for its own sake; not in a spirit of emulation160, and not with a view to celebrity; the less you aim at that the more likely you will be to deserve and finally to obtain it. So written, it is wholesome161 both for the heart and soul; it may be made the surest means, next to religion, of soothing162 the mind and elevating it. You may embody163 in it your best thoughts and your wisest feelings, and in so doing discipline and strengthen them.
“Farewell, madam. It is not because I have forgotten that I was once young myself, that I write to you in this strain; but because I remember it. You will neither doubt my sincerity nor my good will; and however ill what has here been said may accord with your present views and temper, the longer you live the more reasonable it will appear to you. Though I may be but an ungracious adviser164, you will allow me, therefore, to subscribe165 myself, with the best wishes for your happiness here and hereafter, your true friend,
“ROBERT SOUTHEY.”
* * * * *
I was with Miss Brontë when she received Mr. Cuthbert Southey’s note, requesting her permission to insert the foregoing letter in his father’s life. She said to me, “Mr. Southey’s letter was kind and admirable; a little stringent166, but it did me good.”
It is partly because I think it so admirable, and partly because it tends to bring out her character, as shown in the following reply, that I have taken the liberty of inserting the foregoing extracts from it.
“Sir, March 16th.
“I cannot rest till I have answered your letter, even though by addressing you a second time I should appear a little intrusive167; but I must thank you for the kind and wise advice you have condescended168 to give me. I had not ventured to hope for such a reply; so considerate in its tone, so noble in its spirit. I must suppress what I feel, or you will think me foolishly enthusiastic.
“At the first perusal170 of your letter, I felt only shame and regret that I had ever ventured to trouble you with my crude rhapsody; I felt a painful heat rise to my face when I thought of the quires of paper I had covered with what once gave me so much delight, but which now was only a source of confusion; but after I had thought a little and read it again and again, the prospect seemed to clear. You do not forbid me to write; you do not say that what I write is utterly171 destitute172 of merit. You only warn me against the folly173 of neglecting real duties for the sake of imaginative pleasures; of writing for the love of fame; for the selfish excitement of emulation. You kindly174 allow me to write poetry for its own sake, provided I leave undone175 nothing which I ought to do, in order to pursue that single, absorbing, exquisite176 gratification. I am afraid, sir, you think me very foolish. I know the first letter I wrote to you was all senseless trash from beginning to end; but I am not altogether the idle dreaming being it would seem to denote. My father is a clergyman of limited, though competent income, and I am the eldest of his children. He expended177 quite as much in my education as he could afford in justice to the rest. I thought it therefore my duty, when I left school, to become a governess. In that capacity I find enough to occupy my thoughts all day long, and my head and hands too, without having a moment’s time for one dream of the imagination. In the evenings, I confess, I do think, but I never trouble any one else with my thoughts. I carefully avoid any appearance of preoccupation and eccentricity178, which might lead those I live amongst to suspect the nature of my pursuits. Following my father’s advice—who from my childhood has counselled me, just in the wise and friendly tone of your letter—I have endeavoured not only attentively179 to observe all the duties a woman ought to fulfil, but to feel deeply interested in them. I don’t always succeed, for sometimes when I’m teaching or sewing I would rather be reading or writing; but I try to deny myself; and my father’s approbation180 amply rewarded me for the privation. Once more allow me to thank you with sincere gratitude181. I trust I shall never more feel ambitious to see my name in print: if the wish should rise, I’ll look at Southey’s letter, and suppress it. It is honour enough for me that I have written to him, and received an answer. That letter is consecrated182; no one shall ever see it, but papa and my brother and sisters. Again I thank you. This incident, I suppose, will be renewed no more; if I live to be an old woman, I shall remember it thirty years hence as a bright dream. The signature which you suspected of being fictitious is my real name. Again, therefore, I must sign myself,
“C. Brontë.
“P.S.—Pray, sir, excuse me for writing to you a second time; I could not help writing, partly to tell you how thankful I am for your kindness, and partly to let you know that your advice shall not be wasted; however sorrowfully and reluctantly it may be at first followed.
“C. B.”
I cannot deny myself the gratification of inserting Southey’s reply:—
“Keswick, March 22, 1837.
“Dear Madam,
“Your letter has given me great pleasure, and I should not forgive myself if I did not tell you so. You have received admonition as considerately and as kindly as it was given. Let me now request that, if you ever should come to these Lakes while I am living here, you will let me see you. You would then think of me afterwards with the more good-will, because you would perceive that there is neither severity nor moroseness183 in the state of mind to which years and observation have brought me.
“It is, by God’s mercy, in our power to attain127 a degree of self-government, which is essential to our own happiness, and contributes greatly to that of those around us. Take care of over-excitement, and endeavour to keep a quiet mind (even for your health it is the best advice that can be given you): your moral and spiritual improvement will then keep pace with the culture of your intellectual powers.
“And now, madam, God bless you!
“Farewell, and believe me to be your sincere friend,
“ROBERT SOUTHEY.
Of this second letter, also, she spoke, and told me that it contained an invitation for her to go and see the poet if ever she visited the Lakes. “But there was no money to spare,” said she, “nor any prospect of my ever earning money enough to have the chance of so great a pleasure, so I gave up thinking of it.” At the time we conversed184 together on the subject we were at the Lakes. But Southey was dead.
This “stringent” letter made her put aside, for a time, all idea of literary enterprise. She bent185 her whole energy towards the fulfilment of the duties in hand; but her occupation was not sufficient food for her great forces of intellect, and they cried out perpetually, “Give, give,” while the comparatively less breezy air of Dewsbury Moor told upon her health and spirits more and more. On August 27, 1837, she writes:—
“I am again at Dewsbury, engaged in the old business,—teach, teach, teach . . . When will you come home? Make haste! You have been at Bath long enough for all purposes; by this time you have acquired polish enough, I am sure; if the varnish186 is laid on much thicker, I am afraid the good wood underneath187 will be quite concealed188, and your Yorkshire friends won’t stand that. Come, come. I am getting really tired of your absence. Saturday after Saturday comes round, and I can have no hope of hearing your knock at the door, and then being told that ‘Miss E. is come.’ Oh, dear! in this monotonous life of mine, that was a pleasant event. I wish it would recur13 again; but it will take two or three interviews before the stiffness—the estrangement189 of this long separation—will wear away.”
About this time she forgot to return a work-bag she had borrowed, by a messenger, and in repairing her error she says:—“These aberrations190 of memory warn me pretty intelligibly191 that I am getting past my prime.” AEtat 21! And the same tone of despondency runs through the following letter:—
“I wish exceedingly that I could come to you before Christmas, but it is impossible; another three weeks must elapse before I shall again have my comforter beside me, under the roof of my own dear quiet home. If I could always live with you, and daily read the Bible with you—if your lips and mine could at the same time drink the same draught192, from the same pure fountain of mercy—I hope, I trust, I might one day become better, far better than my evil, wandering thoughts, my corrupt193 heart, cold to the spirit and warm to the flesh, will now permit me to be. I often plan the pleasant life which we might lead together, strengthening each other in that power of self-denial, that hallowed and glowing devotion, which the first saints of God often attained to. My eyes fill with tears when I contrast the bliss194 of such a state, brightened by hopes of the future, with the melancholy state I now live in, uncertain that I ever felt true contrition195, wandering in thought and deed, longing41 for holiness, which I shall never, never obtain, smitten196 at times to the heart with the conviction that ghastly Calvinistic doctrines197 are true—darkened, in short, by the very shadows of spiritual death. If Christian perfection be necessary to salvation198, I shall never be saved; my heart is a very hotbed for sinful thoughts, and when I decide on an action I scarcely remember to look to my Redeemer for direction. I know not how to pray; I cannot bend my life to the grand end of doing good; I go on constantly seeking my own pleasure, pursuing the gratification of my own desires. I forget God, and will not God forget me? And, meantime, I know the greatness of Jehovah; I acknowledge the perfection of His word; I adore the purity of the Christian faith; my theory is right, my practice horribly wrong.”
The Christmas holidays came, and she and Anne returned to the parsonage, and to that happy home circle in which alone their natures expanded; amongst all other people they shrivelled up more or less. Indeed, there were only one or two strangers who could be admitted among the sisters without producing the same result. Emily and Anne were bound up in their lives and interests like twins. The former from reserve, the latter from timidity, avoided all friendships and intimacies199 beyond their family. Emily was impervious200 to influence; she never came in contact with public opinion, and her own decision of what was right and fitting was a law for her conduct and appearance, with which she allowed no one to interfere. Her love was poured out on Anne, as Charlotte’s was on her. But the affection among all the three was stronger than either death or life.
“E.” was eagerly welcomed by Charlotte, freely admitted by Emily, and kindly received by Anne, whenever she could visit them; and this Christmas she had promised to do so, but her coming had to be delayed on account of a little domestic accident detailed202 in the following letter:—
“Dec. 29, 1837.
“I am sure you will have thought me very remiss203 in not sending my promised letter long before now; but I have a sufficient and very melancholy excuse in an accident that befell our old faithful Tabby, a few days after my return home. She was gone out into the village on some errand, when, as she was descending204 the steep street, her foot slipped on the ice, and she fell; it was dark, and no one saw her mischance, till after a time her groans205 attracted the attention of a passer-by. She was lifted up and carried into the druggist’s near; and, after the examination, it was discovered that she had completely shattered and dislocated one leg. Unfortunately, the fracture could not be set till six o’clock the next morning, as no surgeon was to be had before that time, and she now lies at our house in a very doubtful and dangerous state. Of course we are all exceedingly distressed at the circumstance, for she was like one of our own family. Since the event we have been almost without assistance—a person has dropped in now and then to do the drudgery206, but we have as yet been able to procure207 no regular servant; and consequently, the whole work of the house, as well as the additional duty of nursing Tabby, falls on ourselves. Under these circumstances I dare not press your visit here, at least until she is pronounced out of danger; it would be too selfish of me. Aunt wished me to give you this information before, but papa and all the rest were anxious I should delay until we saw whether matters took a more settled aspect, and I myself kept putting it off from day to day, most bitterly reluctant to give up all the pleasure I had anticipated so long. However, remembering what you told me, namely, that you had commended the matter to a higher decision than ours, and that you were resolved to submit with resignation to that decision, whatever it might be, I hold it my duty to yield also, and to be silent; it may be all for the best. I fear, if you had been here during this severe weather, your visit would have been of no advantage to you, for the moors are blockaded with snow, and you would never have been able to get out. After this disappointment, I never dare reckon with certainty on the enjoyment of a pleasure again; it seems as if some fatality stood between you and me. I am not good enough for you, and you must be kept from the contamination of too intimate society. I would urge your visit yet—I would entreat and press it—but the thought comes across me, should Tabby die while you are in the house, I should never forgive myself. No! it must not be, and in a thousand ways the consciousness of that mortifies208 and disappoints me most keenly, and I am not the only one who is disappointed. All in the house were looking to your visit with eagerness. Papa says he highly approves of my friendship with you, and he wishes me to continue it through life.”
A good neighbour of the Brontës—a clever, intelligent Yorkshire woman, who keeps a druggist’s shop in Haworth, and from her occupation, her experience, and excellent sense, holds the position of village doctress and nurse, and, as such, has been a friend, in many a time of trial, and sickness, and death, in the households round—told me a characteristic little incident connected with Tabby’s fractured leg. Mr. Brontë is truly generous and regardful of all deserving claims. Tabby had lived with them for ten or twelve years, and was, as Charlotte expressed it, “one of the family.” But on the other hand, she was past the age for any very active service, being nearer seventy than sixty at the time of the accident; she had a sister living in the village; and the savings she had accumulated, during many years’ service, formed a competency for one in her rank of life. Or if, in this time of sickness, she fell short of any comforts which her state rendered necessary, the parsonage could supply them. So reasoned Miss Branwell, the prudent209, not to say anxious aunt; looking to the limited contents of Mr. Brontë’s purse, and the unprovided-for-future of her nieces; who were, moreover, losing the relaxation210 of the holidays, in close attendance upon Tabby.
Miss Branwell urged her views upon Mr. Brontë as soon as the immediate211 danger to the old servant’s life was over. He refused at first to listen to the careful advice; it was repugnant to his liberal nature. But Miss Branwell persevered212; urged economical motives213; pressed on his love for his daughters. He gave way. Tabby was to be removed to her sister’s, and there nursed and cared for, Mr. Brontë coming in with his aid when her own resources fell short. This decision was communicated to the girls. There were symptoms of a quiet, but sturdy rebellion, that winter afternoon, in the small precincts of Haworth parsonage. They made one unanimous and stiff remonstrance214. Tabby had tended them in their childhood; they, and none other, should tend her in her infirmity and age. At tea-time, they were sad and silent, and the meal went away untouched by any of the three. So it was at breakfast; they did not waste many words on the subject, but each word they did utter was weighty. They “struck” eating till the resolution was rescinded215, and Tabby was allowed to remain a helpless invalid216 entirely dependent upon them. Herein was the strong feeling of Duty being paramount217 to pleasure, which lay at the foundation of Charlotte’s character, made most apparent; for we have seen how she yearned218 for her friend’s company; but it was to be obtained only by shrinking from what she esteemed219 right, and that she never did, whatever might be the sacrifice.
She had another weight on her mind this Christmas. I have said that the air of Dewsbury Moor did not agree with her, though she herself was hardly aware how much her life there was affecting her health. But Anne had begun to suffer just before the holidays, and Charlotte watched over her younger sisters with the jealous vigilance of some wild creature, that changes her very nature if danger threatens her young. Anne had a slight cough, a pain at her side, a difficulty of breathing. Miss W--- considered it as little more than a common cold; but Charlotte felt every indication of incipient220 consumption as a stab at her heart, remembering Maria and Elizabeth, whose places once knew them, and should know them no more.
Stung by anxiety for this little sister, she upbraided221 Miss W--- for her fancied indifference to Anne’s state of health. Miss W--- felt these reproaches keenly, and wrote to Mr. Brontë about them. He immediately replied most kindly, expressing his fear that Charlotte’s apprehensions222 and anxieties respecting her sister had led her to give utterance223 to over-excited expressions of alarm. Through Miss W---’s kind consideration, Anne was a year longer at school than her friends intended. At the close of the half-year Miss W--- sought for the opportunity of an explanation of each other’s words, and the issue proved that “the falling out of faithful friends, renewing is of love.” And so ended the first, last, and only difference Charlotte ever had with good, kind Miss W ---.
Still her heart had received a shock in the perception of Anne’s delicacy224; and all these holidays she watched over her with the longing, fond anxiety, which is so full of sudden pangs225 of fear.
Emily had given up her situation in the Halifax school, at the expiration226 of six months of arduous227 trial, on account of her health, which could only be re-established by the bracing228 moorland air and free life of home. Tabby’s illness had preyed229 on the family resources. I doubt whether Branwell was maintaining himself at this time. For some unexplained reason, he had given up the idea of becoming a student of painting at the Royal Academy, and his prospects230 in life were uncertain, and had yet to be settled. So Charlotte had quietly to take up her burden of teaching again, and return to her previous monotonous life.
Brave heart, ready to die in harness! She went back to her work, and made no complaint, hoping to subdue231 the weakness that was gaining ground upon her. About this time, she would turn sick and trembling at any sudden noise, and could hardly repress her screams when startled. This showed a fearful degree of physical weakness in one who was generally so self-controlled; and the medical man, whom at length, through Miss W---’s entreaty232, she was led to consult, insisted on her return to the parsonage. She had led too sedentary a life, he said; and the soft summer air, blowing round her home, the sweet company of those she loved, the release, the freedom of life in her own family, were needed, to save either reason or life. So, as One higher than she had over-ruled that for a time she might relax her strain, she returned to Haworth; and after a season of utter quiet, her father sought for her the enlivening society of her two friends, Mary and Martha T. At the conclusion of the following letter, written to the then absent E., there is, I think, as pretty a glimpse of a merry group of young people as need be; and like all descriptions of doing, as distinct from thinking or feeling, in letters, it saddens one in proportion to the vivacity233 of the picture of what was once, and is now utterly swept away.
“Haworth, June 9, 1838.
“I received your packet of despatches on Wednesday; it was brought me by Mary and Martha, who have been staying at Haworth for a few days; they leave us to-day. You will be surprised at the date of this letter. I ought to be at Dewsbury Moor, you know; but I stayed as long as I was able, and at length I neither could nor dared stay any longer. My health and spirits had utterly failed me, and the medical man whom I consulted enjoined234 me, as I valued my life, to go home. So home I went, and the change has at once roused and soothed235 me; and I am now, I trust, fairly in the way to be myself again.
“A calm and even mind like yours cannot conceive the feelings of the shattered wretch37 who is now writing to you, when, after weeks of mental and bodily anguish236 not to be described, something like peace began to dawn again. Mary is far from well. She breathes short, has a pain in her chest, and frequent flushings of fever. I cannot tell you what agony these symptoms give me; they remind me too strongly of my two sisters, whom no power of medicine could save. Martha is now very well; she has kept in a continual flow of good humour during her stay here, and has consequently been very fascinating . . . ”
“They are making such a noise about me I cannot write any more. Mary is playing on the piano; Martha is chattering237 as fast as her little tongue can run; and Branwell is standing238 before her, laughing at her vivacity.”
Charlotte grew much stronger in this quiet, happy period at home. She paid occasional visits to her two great friends, and they in return came to Haworth. At one of their houses, I suspect, she met with the person to whom the following letter refers—some one having a slight resemblance to the character of “St. John,” in the last volume of “Jane Eyre,” and, like him, in holy orders.
“March 12, 1839.
. . . “I had a kindly leaning towards him, because he is an amiable239 and well-disposed man. Yet I had not, and could not have, that intense attachment240 which would make me willing to die for him; and if ever I marry, it must be in that light of adoration241 that I will regard my husband. Ten to one I shall never have the chance again; but n’importe. Moreover, I was aware that he knew so little of me he could hardly be conscious to whom he was writing. Why! it would startle him to see me in my natural home character; he would think I was a wild, romantic enthusiast169 indeed. I could not sit all day long making a grave face before my husband. I would laugh, and satirize242, and say whatever came into my head first. And if he were a clever man, and loved me, the whole world, weighed in the balance against his smallest wish, should be light as air.”
So that—her first proposal of marriage—was quietly declined and put on one side. Matrimony did not enter into the scheme of her life, but good, sound, earnest labour did; the question, however, was as yet undecided in what direction she should employ her forces. She had been discouraged in literature; her eyes failed her in the minute kind of drawing which she practised when she wanted to express an idea; teaching seemed to her at this time, as it does to most women at all times, the only way of earning an independent livelihood. But neither she nor her sisters were naturally fond of children. The hieroglyphics243 of childhood were an unknown language to them, for they had never been much with those younger than themselves. I am inclined to think, too, that they had not the happy knack244 of imparting information, which seems to be a separate gift from the faculty of acquiring it; a kind of sympathetic tact201, which instinctively245 perceives the difficulties that impede246 comprehension in a child’s mind, and that yet are too vague and unformed for it, with its half-developed powers of expression, to explain by words. Consequently, teaching very young children was anything but a “delightful247 task” to the three Brontë sisters. With older girls, verging248 on womanhood, they might have done better, especially if these had any desire for improvement. But the education which the village clergyman’s daughters had received, did not as yet qualify them to undertake the charge of advanced pupils. They knew but little French, and were not proficients249 in music; I doubt whether Charlotte could play at all. But they were all strong again, and, at any rate, Charlotte and Anne must put their shoulders to the wheel. One daughter was needed at home, to stay with Mr. Brontë and Miss Branwell; to be the young and active member in a household of four, whereof three—the father, the aunt, and faithful Tabby—were past middle age. And Emily, who suffered and drooped250 more than her sisters when away from Haworth, was the one appointed to remain. Anne was the first to meet with a situation.
“April 15th, 1839.
“I could not write to you in the week you requested, as about that time we were very busy in preparing for Anne’s departure. Poor child! she left us last Monday; no one went with her; it was her own wish that she might be allowed to go alone, as she thought she could manage better and summon more courage if thrown entirely upon her own resources. We have had one letter from her since she went. She expresses herself very well satisfied, and says that Mrs. --- is extremely kind; the two eldest children alone are under her care, the rest are confined to the nursery, with which and its occupants she has nothing to do . . . I hope she’ll do. You would be astonished what a sensible, clever letter she writes; it is only the talking part that I fear. But I do seriously apprehend251 that Mrs. --- will sometimes conclude that she has a natural impediment in her speech. For my own part, I am as yet ‘wanting a situation,’ like a housemaid out of place. By the way, I have lately discovered I have quite a talent for cleaning, sweeping up hearths252, dusting rooms, making beds, &c.; so, if everything else fails, I can turn my hand to that, if anybody will give me good wages for little labour. I won’t be a cook; I hate soothing. I won’t be a nurserymaid, nor a lady’s-maid, far less a lady’s companion, or a mantua-maker253, or a straw-bonnet maker, or a taker-in of plain work. I won’t be anything but a housemaid . . . With regard to my visit to G., I have as yet received no invitation; but if I should be asked, though I should feel it a great act of self-denial to refuse, yet I have almost made up my mind to do so, though the society of the T.’s is one of the most rousing pleasures I have ever known. Good-bye, my darling E., &c.
“P. S.—Strike out that word ‘darling;’ it is humbug254. Where’s the use of protestations? We’ve known each other, and liked each other, a good while; that’s enough.”
Not many weeks after this was written, Charlotte also became engaged as a governess. I intend carefully to abstain255 from introducing the names of any living people, respecting whom I may have to tell unpleasant truths, or to quote severe remarks from Miss Brontë’s letters; but it is necessary that the difficulties she had to encounter in her various phases of life, should be fairly and frankly256 made known, before the force “of what was resisted” can be at all understood. I was once speaking to her about “Agnes Grey”—the novel in which her sister Anne pretty literally describes her own experience as a governess—and alluding257 more particularly to the account of the stoning of the little nestlings in the presence of the parent birds. She said that none but those who had been in the position of a governess could ever realise the dark side of “respectable” human nature; under no great temptation to crime, but daily giving way to selfishness and ill-temper, till its conduct towards those dependent on it sometimes amounts to a tyranny of which one would rather be the victim than the inflicter258. We can only trust in such cases that the employers err23 rather from a density259 of perception and an absence of sympathy, than from any natural cruelty of disposition260. Among several things of the same kind, which I well remember, she told me what had once occurred to herself. She had been entrusted261 with the care of a little boy, three or four years old, during the absence of his parents on a day’s excursion, and particularly enjoined to keep him out of the stable-yard. His elder brother, a lad of eight or nine, and not a pupil of Miss Brontë’s, tempted96 the little fellow into the forbidden place. She followed, and tried to induce him to come away; but, instigated262 by his brother, he began throwing stones at her, and one of them hit her so severe a blow on the temple that the lads were alarmed into obedience263. The next day, in full family conclave264, the mother asked Miss Brontë what occasioned the mark on her forehead. She simply replied, “An accident, ma’am,” and no further inquiry265 was made; but the children (both brothers and sisters) had been present, and honoured her for not “telling tales.” From that time, she began to obtain influence over all, more or less, according to their different characters; and as she insensibly gained their affection, her own interest in them was increasing. But one day, at the children’s dinner, the small truant266 of the stable-yard, in a little demonstrative gush267, said, putting his hand in hers, “I love ‘ou, Miss Brontë.” Whereupon, the mother exclaimed, before all the children, “Love the governess, my dear!”
“The family into which she first entered was, I believe, that of a wealthy Yorkshire manufacturer. The following extracts from her correspondence at this time will show how painfully the restraint of her new mode of life pressed upon her. The first is from a letter to Emily, beginning with one of the tender expressions in which, in spite of ‘humbug,’ she indulged herself. ‘Mine dear love,’ ‘Mine-bonnie love,’ are her terms of address to this beloved sister.
“June 8th, 1839.
“I have striven hard to be pleased with my new situation. The country, the house and the grounds are, as I have said, divine; but, alack-a-day! there is such a thing as seeing all beautiful around you—pleasant woods, white paths, green lawns, and blue sunshiny sky—and not having a free moment or a free thought left to enjoy them. The children are constantly with me. As for correcting them, I quickly found that was out of the question; they are to do as they like. A complaint to the mother only brings black looks on myself, and unjust, partial excuses to screen the children. I have tried that plan once, and succeeded so notably268, I shall try no more. I said in my last letter that Mrs. --- did not know me. I now begin to find she does not intend to know me; that she cares nothing about me, except to contrive269 how the greatest possible quantity of labour may be got out of me; and to that end she overwhelms me with oceans of needle-work; yards of cambric to hem20, muslin nightcaps to make, and, above all things, dolls to dress. I do not think she likes me at all, because I can’t help being shy in such an entirely novel scene, surrounded as I have hitherto been by strange and constantly changing faces . . . I used to think I should like to be in the stir of grand folks’ society; but I have had enough of it—it is dreary270 work to look on and listen. I see more clearly than I have ever done before, that a private governess has no existence, is not considered as a living rational being, except as connected with the wearisome duties she has to fulfil . . . One of the pleasantest afternoons I have spent here—indeed, the only one at all pleasant—was when Mr. --- walked out with his children, and I had orders to follow a little behind. As he strolled on through his fields, with his magnificent Newfoundland dog at his side, he looked very like what a frank, wealthy, Conservative gentleman ought to be. He spoke freely and unaffectedly to the people he met, and, though he indulged his children and allowed them to tease himself far too much, he would not suffer them grossly to insult others.”
(WRITTEN IN PENCIL TO A FRIEND.)
“July, 1839.
“I cannot procure ink, without going into the drawing-room, where I do not wish to go . . . I should have written to you long since, and told you every detail of the utterly new scene into which I have lately been cast, had I not been daily expecting a letter from yourself, and wondering and lamenting272 that you did not write; for you will remember it was your turn. I must not bother you too much with my sorrows, of which, I fear, you have heard an exaggerated account. If you were near me, perhaps I might be tempted to tell you all, to grow egotistical, and pour out the long history of a private governess’s trials and crosses in her first situation. As it is, I will only ask you to imagine the miseries273 of a reserved wretch like me, thrown at once into the midst of a large family, at a time when they were particularly gay—when the house was filled with company—all strangers—people whose faces I had never seen before. In this state I had charge given me of a set of pampered274, spoilt, turbulent children, whom I was expected constantly to amuse, as well as to instruct. I soon found that the constant demand on my stock of animal spirits reduced them to the lowest state of exhaustion275; at times I felt—and, I suppose, seemed—depressed. To my astonishment276, I was taken to task on the subject by Mrs. --- with a sternness of manner and a harshness of language scarcely credible277; like a fool, I cried most bitterly. I could not help it; my spirits quite failed me at first. I thought I had done my best—strained every nerve to please her; and to be treated in that way, merely because I was shy and sometimes melancholy, was too bad. At first I was for giving all up and going home. But, after a little reflection, I determined to summon what energy I had, and to weather the storm. I said to myself, ‘I have never yet quitted a place without gaining a friend; adversity is a good school; the poor are born to labour, and the dependent to endure.’ I resolved to be patient, to command my feelings, and to take what came; the ordeal278, I reflected, would not last many weeks, and I trusted it would do me good. I recollected the fable279 of the willow280 and the oak; I bent quietly, and now, I trust, the storm is blowing over me. Mrs. --- is generally considered an agreeable woman; so she is, I doubt not, in general society. She behaves somewhat more civilly to me now than she did at first, and the children are a little more manageable; but she does not know my character, and she does not wish to know it. I have never had five minutes’ conversation with her since I came, except while she was scolding me. I have no wish to be pitied, except by yourself; if I were talking to you I could tell you much more.”
(TO EMILY, ABOUT THIS TIME.)
“Mine bonnie love, I was as glad of your letter as tongue can express: it is a real, genuine pleasure to hear from home; a thing to be saved till bedtime, when one has a moment’s quiet and rest to enjoy it thoroughly281. Write whenever you can. I could like to be at home. I could like to work in a mill. I could like to feel some mental liberty. I could like this weight of restraint to be taken off. But the holidays will come. Coraggio.”
Her temporary engagement in this uncongenial family ended in the July of this year; not before the constant strain upon her spirits and strength had again affected271 her health; but when this delicacy became apparent in palpitations and shortness of breathing, it was treated as affectation—as a phase of imaginary indisposition, which could be dissipated by a good scolding. She had been brought up rather in a school of Spartan282 endurance than in one of maudlin283 self-indulgence, and could bear many a pain and relinquish284 many a hope in silence.
After she had been at home about a week, her friend proposed that she should accompany her in some little excursion, having pleasure alone for its object. She caught at the idea most eagerly at first; but her hope stood still, waned285, and had almost disappeared before, after many delays, it was realised. In its fulfilment at last, it was a favourable286 specimen287 of many a similar air-bubble dancing before her eyes in her brief career, in which stern realities, rather than pleasures, formed the leading incidents.
“July 26th, 1839.
“Your proposal has almost driven me ‘clean daft’—if you don’t understand that ladylike expression, you must ask me what it means when I see you. The fact is, an excursion with you anywhere,—whether to Cleathorpe or Canada,—just by ourselves, would be to me most delightful. I should, indeed, like to go; but I can’t get leave of absence for longer than a week, and I’m afraid that would not suit you—must I then give it up entirely? I feel as if I could not; I never had such a chance of enjoyment before; I do want to see you and talk to you, and be with you. When do you wish to go? Could I meet you at Leeds? To take a gig from Haworth to B., would be to me a very serious increase of expense, and I happen to be very low in cash. Oh! rich people seem to have many pleasures at their command which we are debarred from! However, no repining.
“Say when you go, and I shall be able in my answer to say decidedly whether I can accompany you or not. I must—I will—I’m set upon it—I’ll be obstinate288 and bear down all opposition289.
“P.S.—Since writing the above, I find that aunt and papa have determined to go to Liverpool for a fortnight, and take us all with them. It is stipulated290, however, that I should give up the Cleathorpe scheme. I yield reluctantly.”
I fancy that, about this time, Mr. Brontë found it necessary, either from failing health or the increased populousness291 of the parish, to engage the assistance of a curate. At least, it is in a letter written this summer that I find mention of the first of a succession of curates, who henceforward revolved292 round Haworth Parsonage, and made an impression on the mind of one of its inmates293 which she has conveyed pretty distinctly to the world. The Haworth curate brought his clerical friends and neighbours about the place, and for a time the incursions of these, near the parsonage tea-time, formed occurrences by which the quietness of the life there was varied294, sometimes pleasantly, sometimes disagreeably. The little adventure recorded at the end of the following letter is uncommon295 in the lot of most women, and is a testimony296 in this case to the unusual power of attraction—though so plain in feature—which Charlotte possessed297, when she let herself go in the happiness and freedom of home.
“August 4th, 1839.
“The Liverpool journey is yet a matter of talk, a sort of castle in the air; but, between you and me, I fancy it is very doubtful whether it will ever assume a more solid shape. Aunt—like many other elderly people—likes to talk of such things; but when it comes to putting them into actual execution, she rather falls off. Such being the case, I think you and I had better adhere to our first plan of going somewhere together independently of other people. I have got leave to accompany you for a week—at the utmost a fortnight—but no more. Where do you wish to go? Burlington, I should think, from what M. says, would be as eligible298 a place as any. When do you set off? Arrange all these things according to your convenience; I shall start no objections. The idea of seeing the sea—of being near it—watching its changes by sunrise, sunset, moonlight, and noon-day—in calm, perhaps in storm—fills and satisfies my mind. I shall be discontented at nothing. And then I am not to be with a set of people with whom I have nothing in common—who would be nuisances and bores: but with you, whom I like and know, and who knows me.
“I have an odd circumstance to relate to you: prepare for a hearty299 laugh! The other day, Mr. ---, a vicar, came to spend the day with us, bringing with him his own curate. The latter gentleman, by name Mr. B., is a young Irish clergyman, fresh from Dublin University. It was the first time we had any of us seen him, but, however, after the manner of his countrymen, he soon made himself at home. His character quickly appeared in his conversation; witty300, lively, ardent301, clever too; but deficient302 in the dignity and discretion303 of an Englishman. At home, you know, I talk with ease, and am never shy—never weighed down and oppressed by that miserable mauvaise honte which torments304 and constrains305 me elsewhere. So I conversed with this Irishman, and laughed at his jests; and, though I saw faults in his character, excused them because of the amusement his originality306 afforded. I cooled a little, indeed, and drew in towards the latter part of the evening, because he began to season his conversation with something of Hibernian flattery, which I did not quite relish307. However, they went away, and no more was thought about them. A few days after, I got a letter, the direction of which puzzled me, it being in a hand I was not accustomed to see. Evidently, it was neither from you nor Mary, my only correspondents. Having opened and read it, it proved to be a declaration of attachment and proposal of matrimony, expressed in the ardent language of the sapient308 young Irishman! I hope you are laughing heartily309. This is not like one of my adventures, is it? It more nearly resembles Martha’s. I am certainly doomed to be an old maid. Never mind. I made up my mind to that fate ever since I was twelve years old.
“Well! thought I, I have heard of love at first sight, but this beats all! I leave you to guess what my answer would be, convinced that you will not do me the injustice310 of guessing wrong.”
On the 14th of August she still writes from Haworth:—
“I have in vain packed my box, and prepared everything for our anticipated journey. It so happens that I can get no conveyance311 this week or the next. The only gig let out to hire in Haworth, is at Harrowgate, and likely to remain there, for aught I can hear. Papa decidedly objects to my going by the coach, and walking to B., though I am sure I could manage it. Aunt exclaims against the weather, and the roads, and the four winds of heaven, so I am in a fix, and, what is worse, so are you. On reading over, for the second or third time, your last letter (which, by the by, was written in such hieroglyphics that, at the first hasty perusal, I could hardly make out two consecutive312 words), I find you intimate that if I leave this journey till Thursday I shall be too late. I grieve that I should have so inconvenienced you; but I need not talk of either Friday or Saturday now, for I rather imagine there is small chance of my ever going at all. The elders of the house have never cordially acquiesced313 in the measure; and now that impediments seem to start up at every step, opposition grows more open. Papa, indeed, would willingly indulge me, but this very kindness of his makes me doubt whether I ought to draw upon it; so, though I could battle out aunt’s discontent, I yield to papa’s indulgence. He does not say so, but I know he would rather I stayed at home; and aunt meant well too, I dare say, but I am provoked that she reserved the expression of her decided disapproval314 till all was settled between you and myself. Reckon on me no more; leave me out in your calculations: perhaps I ought, in the beginning, to have had prudence315 sufficient to shut my eyes against such a prospect of pleasure, so as to deny myself the hope of it. Be as angry as you please with me for disappointing you. I did not intend it, and have only one thing more to say—if you do not go immediately to the sea, will you come to see us at Haworth? This invitation is not mine only, but papa’s and aunt’s.”
However, a little more patience, a little more delay, and she enjoyed the pleasure she had wished for so much. She and her friend went to Easton for a fortnight in the latter part of September. It was here she received her first impressions of the sea.
“Oct. 24th.
“Have you forgotten the sea by this time, E.? Is it grown dim in your mind? Or can you still see it, dark, blue, and green, and foam-white, and hear it roaring roughly when the wind is high, or rushing softly when it is calm? . . . I am as well as need be, and very fat. I think of Easton very often, and of worthy316 Mr. H., and his kind-hearted helpmate, and of our pleasant walks to H--- Wood, and to Boynton, our merry evenings, our romps317 with little Hancheon, &c., &c. If we both live, this period of our lives will long be a theme for pleasant recollection. Did you chance, in your letter to Mr. H., to mention my spectacles? I am sadly inconvenienced by the want of them. I can neither read, write, nor draw with comfort in their absence. I hope Madame won’t refuse to give them up . . . Excuse the brevity of this letter, for I have been drawing all day, and my eyes are so tired it is quite a labour to write.”
But, as the vivid remembrance of this pleasure died away, an accident occurred to make the actual duties of life press somewhat heavily for a time.
“December 21st, 1839
“We are at present, and have been during the last month, rather busy, as, for that space of time, we have been without a servant, except a little girl to run errands. Poor Tabby became so lame132 that she was at length obliged to leave us. She is residing with her sister, in a little house of her own, which she bought with her savings a year or two since. She is very comfortable, and wants nothing; as she is near, we see her very often. In the meantime, Emily and I are sufficiently318 busy, as you may suppose: I manage the ironing, and keep the rooms clean; Emily does the baking, and attends to the kitchen. We are such odd animals, that we prefer this mode of contrivance to having a new face amongst us. Besides, we do not despair of Tabby’s return, and she shall not be supplanted319 by a stranger in her absence. I excited aunt’s wrath320 very much by burning the clothes, the first time I attempted to iron; but I do better now. Human feelings are queer things; I am much happier black-leading the stoves, making the beds, and sweeping the floors at home, than I should be living like a fine lady anywhere else. I must indeed drop my subscription321 to the Jews, because I have no money to keep it up. I ought to have announced this intention to you before, but I quite forgot I was a subscriber322. I intend to force myself to take another situation when I can get one, though I hate and abhor323 the very thoughts of governess-ship. But I must do it; and, therefore, I heartily wish I could hear of a family where they need such a commodity as a governess.”
点击收听单词发音
1 literally | |
adv.照字面意义,逐字地;确实 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2 roe | |
n.鱼卵;獐鹿 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3 moors | |
v.停泊,系泊(船只)( moor的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4 moor | |
n.荒野,沼泽;vt.(使)停泊;vi.停泊 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6 bleak | |
adj.(天气)阴冷的;凄凉的;暗淡的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7 solitude | |
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8 nostrils | |
鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9 secluded | |
adj.与世隔绝的;隐退的;偏僻的v.使隔开,使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10 ailed | |
v.生病( ail的过去式和过去分词 );感到不舒服;处境困难;境况不佳 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11 fortitude | |
n.坚忍不拔;刚毅 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12 attenuated | |
v.(使)变细( attenuate的过去式和过去分词 );(使)变薄;(使)变小;减弱 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13 recur | |
vi.复发,重现,再发生 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14 recurring | |
adj.往复的,再次发生的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16 propped | |
支撑,支持,维持( prop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17 dough | |
n.生面团;钱,现款 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18 interfere | |
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19 interfered | |
v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 );调停;妨碍;干涉 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20 hem | |
n.贴边,镶边;vt.缝贴边;(in)包围,限制 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21 monotonous | |
adj.单调的,一成不变的,使人厌倦的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22 betokening | |
v.预示,表示( betoken的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23 err | |
vi.犯错误,出差错 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24 penetrated | |
adj. 击穿的,鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25 aperture | |
n.孔,隙,窄的缺口 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27 herald | |
vt.预示...的来临,预告,宣布,欢迎 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28 rustling | |
n. 瑟瑟声,沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29 frightful | |
adj.可怕的;讨厌的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30 dome | |
n.圆屋顶,拱顶 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31 recollected | |
adj.冷静的;镇定的;被回忆起的;沉思默想的v.记起,想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33 inflicts | |
把…强加给,使承受,遭受( inflict的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35 condemn | |
vt.谴责,指责;宣判(罪犯),判刑 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36 fiery | |
adj.燃烧着的,火红的;暴躁的;激烈的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37 wretch | |
n.可怜的人,不幸的人;卑鄙的人 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38 insipid | |
adj.无味的,枯燥乏味的,单调的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39 implicated | |
adj.密切关联的;牵涉其中的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40 genial | |
adj.亲切的,和蔼的,愉快的,脾气好的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41 longing | |
n.(for)渴望 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42 melancholy | |
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43 fervently | |
adv.热烈地,热情地,强烈地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44 remorse | |
n.痛恨,悔恨,自责 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45 formerly | |
adv.从前,以前 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46 implore | |
vt.乞求,恳求,哀求 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47 flippancy | |
n.轻率;浮躁;无礼的行动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48 horrid | |
adj.可怕的;令人惊恐的;恐怖的;极讨厌的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49 uncertainty | |
n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50 enjoyment | |
n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51 verge | |
n.边,边缘;v.接近,濒临 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54 reconciliation | |
n.和解,和谐,一致 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
55 repulsive | |
adj.排斥的,使人反感的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
56 gathering | |
n.集会,聚会,聚集 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
57 almighty | |
adj.全能的,万能的;很大的,很强的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
58 compassionately | |
adv.表示怜悯地,有同情心地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
59 humbly | |
adv. 恭顺地,谦卑地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
60 bustle | |
v.喧扰地忙乱,匆忙,奔忙;n.忙碌;喧闹 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
61 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
62 repose | |
v.(使)休息;n.安息 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
63 tranquil | |
adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
64 conjure | |
v.恳求,祈求;变魔术,变戏法 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
65 dwelling | |
n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
66 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
67 participation | |
n.参与,参加,分享 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
68 peculiarities | |
n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
69 conceal | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
70 disturbance | |
n.动乱,骚动;打扰,干扰;(身心)失调 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
71 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
72 irritable | |
adj.急躁的;过敏的;易怒的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
73 ailment | |
n.疾病,小病 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
74 ridicule | |
v.讥讽,挖苦;n.嘲弄 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
75 touchiness | |
n.易动气,过分敏感 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
76 wince | |
n.畏缩,退避,(因痛苦,苦恼等)面部肌肉抽动;v.畏缩,退缩,退避 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
77 rankle | |
v.(怨恨,失望等)难以释怀 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
78 venom | |
n.毒液,恶毒,痛恨 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
79 concealment | |
n.隐藏, 掩盖,隐瞒 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
80 monotonously | |
adv.单调地,无变化地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
81 narrative | |
n.叙述,故事;adj.叙事的,故事体的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
82 Christian | |
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
83 appalling | |
adj.骇人听闻的,令人震惊的,可怕的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
84 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
85 stipend | |
n.薪贴;奖学金;养老金 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
86 annuity | |
n.年金;养老金 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
87 reverted | |
恢复( revert的过去式和过去分词 ); 重提; 回到…上; 归还 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
88 savings | |
n.存款,储蓄 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
89 preying | |
v.掠食( prey的现在分词 );掠食;折磨;(人)靠欺诈为生 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
90 sweeping | |
adj.范围广大的,一扫无遗的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
91 doomed | |
命定的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
92 livelihood | |
n.生计,谋生之道 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
93 backwards | |
adv.往回地,向原处,倒,相反,前后倒置地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
94 desolate | |
adj.荒凉的,荒芜的;孤独的,凄凉的;v.使荒芜,使孤寂 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
95 aspirations | |
强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 ); 志向; 发送气音; 发 h 音 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
96 tempted | |
v.怂恿(某人)干不正当的事;冒…的险(tempt的过去分词) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
97 judgment | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
98 judgments | |
判断( judgment的名词复数 ); 鉴定; 评价; 审判 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
99 eldest | |
adj.最年长的,最年老的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
100 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
101 adventurous | |
adj.爱冒险的;惊心动魄的,惊险的,刺激的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
102 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
103 ascertaining | |
v.弄清,确定,查明( ascertain的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
104 preservation | |
n.保护,维护,保存,保留,保持 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
105 recurrence | |
n.复发,反复,重现 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
106 entreat | |
v.恳求,恳请 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
107 craving | |
n.渴望,热望 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
108 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
109 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
110 vessel | |
n.船舶;容器,器皿;管,导管,血管 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
111 enjoyments | |
愉快( enjoyment的名词复数 ); 令人愉快的事物; 享有; 享受 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
112 undue | |
adj.过分的;不适当的;未到期的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
113 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
114 reigns | |
n.君主的统治( reign的名词复数 );君主统治时期;任期;当政期 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
115 starry | |
adj.星光照耀的, 闪亮的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
116 sleepless | |
adj.不睡眠的,睡不著的,不休息的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
117 twilight | |
n.暮光,黄昏;暮年,晚期,衰落时期 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
118 chamber | |
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
119 beheld | |
v.看,注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 );瞧;看呀;(叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现)哎哟 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
120 eternity | |
n.不朽,来世;永恒,无穷 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
121 mansions | |
n.宅第,公馆,大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
122 distressed | |
痛苦的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
123 fatality | |
n.不幸,灾祸,天命 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
124 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
125 rebellious | |
adj.造反的,反抗的,难控制的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
126 placid | |
adj.安静的,平和的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
127 attain | |
vt.达到,获得,完成 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
128 attained | |
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
129 martyrs | |
n.martyr的复数形式;烈士( martyr的名词复数 );殉道者;殉教者;乞怜者(向人诉苦以博取同情) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
130 dissent | |
n./v.不同意,持异议 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
131 radicalism | |
n. 急进主义, 根本的改革主义 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
132 lame | |
adj.跛的,(辩解、论据等)无说服力的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
133 continental | |
adj.大陆的,大陆性的,欧洲大陆的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
134 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
135 refinement | |
n.文雅;高尚;精美;精制;精炼 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
136 scattered | |
adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
137 cemetery | |
n.坟墓,墓地,坟场 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
138 dispersed | |
adj. 被驱散的, 被分散的, 散布的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
139 radicals | |
n.激进分子( radical的名词复数 );根基;基本原理;[数学]根数 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
140 resolute | |
adj.坚决的,果敢的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
141 accounting | |
n.会计,会计学,借贷对照表 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
142 indifference | |
n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
143 sincerity | |
n.真诚,诚意;真实 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
144 fictitious | |
adj.虚构的,假设的;空头的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
145 faculty | |
n.才能;学院,系;(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
146 depreciating | |
v.贬值,跌价,减价( depreciate的现在分词 );贬低,蔑视,轻视 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
147 devoted | |
adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
148 repented | |
对(自己的所为)感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
149 aspirant | |
n.热望者;adj.渴望的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
150 perilous | |
adj.危险的,冒险的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
151 peril | |
n.(严重的)危险;危险的事物 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
152 habitually | |
ad.习惯地,通常地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
153 accomplishment | |
n.完成,成就,(pl.)造诣,技能 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
154 celebrity | |
n.名人,名流;著名,名声,名望 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
155 vicissitudes | |
n.变迁,世事变化;变迁兴衰( vicissitude的名词复数 );盛衰兴废 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
156 exempted | |
使免除[豁免]( exempt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
157 disparage | |
v.贬抑,轻蔑 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
158 exhort | |
v.规劝,告诫 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
159 conducive | |
adj.有益的,有助的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
160 emulation | |
n.竞争;仿效 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
161 wholesome | |
adj.适合;卫生的;有益健康的;显示身心健康的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
162 soothing | |
adj.慰藉的;使人宽心的;镇静的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
163 embody | |
vt.具体表达,使具体化;包含,收录 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
164 adviser | |
n.劝告者,顾问 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
165 subscribe | |
vi.(to)订阅,订购;同意;vt.捐助,赞助 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
166 stringent | |
adj.严厉的;令人信服的;银根紧的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
167 intrusive | |
adj.打搅的;侵扰的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
168 condescended | |
屈尊,俯就( condescend的过去式和过去分词 ); 故意表示和蔼可亲 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
169 enthusiast | |
n.热心人,热衷者 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
170 perusal | |
n.细读,熟读;目测 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
171 utterly | |
adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
172 destitute | |
adj.缺乏的;穷困的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
173 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
174 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
175 undone | |
a.未做完的,未完成的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
176 exquisite | |
adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
177 expended | |
v.花费( expend的过去式和过去分词 );使用(钱等)做某事;用光;耗尽 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
178 eccentricity | |
n.古怪,反常,怪癖 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
179 attentively | |
adv.聚精会神地;周到地;谛;凝神 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
180 approbation | |
n.称赞;认可 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
181 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
182 consecrated | |
adj.神圣的,被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣,给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 );奉献 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
183 moroseness | |
参考例句: |
|
|
184 conversed | |
v.交谈,谈话( converse的过去式 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
185 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
186 varnish | |
n.清漆;v.上清漆;粉饰 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
187 underneath | |
adj.在...下面,在...底下;adv.在下面 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
188 concealed | |
a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
189 estrangement | |
n.疏远,失和,不和 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
190 aberrations | |
n.偏差( aberration的名词复数 );差错;脱离常规;心理失常 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
191 intelligibly | |
adv.可理解地,明了地,清晰地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
192 draught | |
n.拉,牵引,拖;一网(饮,吸,阵);顿服药量,通风;v.起草,设计 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
193 corrupt | |
v.贿赂,收买;adj.腐败的,贪污的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
194 bliss | |
n.狂喜,福佑,天赐的福 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
195 contrition | |
n.悔罪,痛悔 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
196 smitten | |
猛打,重击,打击( smite的过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
197 doctrines | |
n.教条( doctrine的名词复数 );教义;学说;(政府政策的)正式声明 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
198 salvation | |
n.(尤指基督)救世,超度,拯救,解困 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
199 intimacies | |
亲密( intimacy的名词复数 ); 密切; 亲昵的言行; 性行为 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
200 impervious | |
adj.不能渗透的,不能穿过的,不易伤害的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
201 tact | |
n.机敏,圆滑,得体 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
202 detailed | |
adj.详细的,详尽的,极注意细节的,完全的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
203 remiss | |
adj.不小心的,马虎 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
204 descending | |
n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
205 groans | |
n.呻吟,叹息( groan的名词复数 );呻吟般的声音v.呻吟( groan的第三人称单数 );发牢骚;抱怨;受苦 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
206 drudgery | |
n.苦工,重活,单调乏味的工作 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
207 procure | |
vt.获得,取得,促成;vi.拉皮条 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
208 mortifies | |
v.使受辱( mortify的第三人称单数 );伤害(人的感情);克制;抑制(肉体、情感等) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
209 prudent | |
adj.谨慎的,有远见的,精打细算的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
210 relaxation | |
n.松弛,放松;休息;消遣;娱乐 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
211 immediate | |
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
212 persevered | |
v.坚忍,坚持( persevere的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
213 motives | |
n.动机,目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
214 remonstrance | |
n抗议,抱怨 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
215 rescinded | |
v.废除,取消( rescind的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
216 invalid | |
n.病人,伤残人;adj.有病的,伤残的;无效的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
217 paramount | |
a.最重要的,最高权力的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
218 yearned | |
渴望,切盼,向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
219 esteemed | |
adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 );敬重;认为;以为 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
220 incipient | |
adj.起初的,发端的,初期的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
221 upbraided | |
v.责备,申斥,谴责( upbraid的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
222 apprehensions | |
疑惧 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
223 utterance | |
n.用言语表达,话语,言语 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
224 delicacy | |
n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
225 pangs | |
突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 ); 悲痛 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
226 expiration | |
n.终结,期满,呼气,呼出物 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
227 arduous | |
adj.艰苦的,费力的,陡峭的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
228 bracing | |
adj.令人振奋的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
229 preyed | |
v.掠食( prey的过去式和过去分词 );掠食;折磨;(人)靠欺诈为生 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
230 prospects | |
n.希望,前途(恒为复数) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
231 subdue | |
vt.制服,使顺从,征服;抑制,克制 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
232 entreaty | |
n.恳求,哀求 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
233 vivacity | |
n.快活,活泼,精神充沛 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
234 enjoined | |
v.命令( enjoin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
235 soothed | |
v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 );抚慰;使舒服;减轻痛苦 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
236 anguish | |
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
237 chattering | |
n. (机器振动发出的)咔嗒声,(鸟等)鸣,啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的,啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
238 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
239 amiable | |
adj.和蔼可亲的,友善的,亲切的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
240 attachment | |
n.附属物,附件;依恋;依附 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
241 adoration | |
n.爱慕,崇拜 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
242 satirize | |
v.讽刺 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
243 hieroglyphics | |
n.pl.象形文字 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
244 knack | |
n.诀窍,做事情的灵巧的,便利的方法 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
245 instinctively | |
adv.本能地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
246 impede | |
v.妨碍,阻碍,阻止 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
247 delightful | |
adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
248 verging | |
接近,逼近(verge的现在分词形式) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
249 proficients | |
精通的,熟练的( proficient的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
250 drooped | |
弯曲或下垂,发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
251 apprehend | |
vt.理解,领悟,逮捕,拘捕,忧虑 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
252 hearths | |
壁炉前的地板,炉床,壁炉边( hearth的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
253 maker | |
n.制造者,制造商 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
254 humbug | |
n.花招,谎话,欺骗 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
255 abstain | |
v.自制,戒绝,弃权,避免 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
256 frankly | |
adv.坦白地,直率地;坦率地说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
257 alluding | |
提及,暗指( allude的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
258 inflicter | |
加害者,惩罚者 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
259 density | |
n.密集,密度,浓度 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
260 disposition | |
n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
261 entrusted | |
v.委托,托付( entrust的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
262 instigated | |
v.使(某事物)开始或发生,鼓动( instigate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
263 obedience | |
n.服从,顺从 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
264 conclave | |
n.秘密会议,红衣主教团 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
265 inquiry | |
n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
266 truant | |
n.懒惰鬼,旷课者;adj.偷懒的,旷课的,游荡的;v.偷懒,旷课 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
267 gush | |
v.喷,涌;滔滔不绝(说话);n.喷,涌流;迸发 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
268 notably | |
adv.值得注意地,显著地,尤其地,特别地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
269 contrive | |
vt.谋划,策划;设法做到;设计,想出 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
270 dreary | |
adj.令人沮丧的,沉闷的,单调乏味的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
271 affected | |
adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
272 lamenting | |
adj.悲伤的,悲哀的v.(为…)哀悼,痛哭,悲伤( lament的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
273 miseries | |
n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 );痛苦的事;穷困;常发牢骚的人 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
274 pampered | |
adj.饮食过量的,饮食奢侈的v.纵容,宠,娇养( pamper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
275 exhaustion | |
n.耗尽枯竭,疲惫,筋疲力尽,竭尽,详尽无遗的论述 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
276 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
277 credible | |
adj.可信任的,可靠的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
278 ordeal | |
n.苦难经历,(尤指对品格、耐力的)严峻考验 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
279 fable | |
n.寓言;童话;神话 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
280 willow | |
n.柳树 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
281 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
282 spartan | |
adj.简朴的,刻苦的;n.斯巴达;斯巴达式的人 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
283 maudlin | |
adj.感情脆弱的,爱哭的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
284 relinquish | |
v.放弃,撤回,让与,放手 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
285 waned | |
v.衰落( wane的过去式和过去分词 );(月)亏;变小;变暗淡 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
286 favourable | |
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
287 specimen | |
n.样本,标本 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
288 obstinate | |
adj.顽固的,倔强的,不易屈服的,较难治愈的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
289 opposition | |
n.反对,敌对 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
290 stipulated | |
vt.& vi.规定;约定adj.[法]合同规定的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
291 populousness | |
人口稠密 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
292 revolved | |
v.(使)旋转( revolve的过去式和过去分词 );细想 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
293 inmates | |
n.囚犯( inmate的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
294 varied | |
adj.多样的,多变化的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
295 uncommon | |
adj.罕见的,非凡的,不平常的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
296 testimony | |
n.证词;见证,证明 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
297 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
298 eligible | |
adj.有条件被选中的;(尤指婚姻等)合适(意)的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
299 hearty | |
adj.热情友好的;衷心的;尽情的,纵情的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
300 witty | |
adj.机智的,风趣的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
301 ardent | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,强烈的,烈性的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
302 deficient | |
adj.不足的,不充份的,有缺陷的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
303 discretion | |
n.谨慎;随意处理 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
304 torments | |
(肉体或精神上的)折磨,痛苦( torment的名词复数 ); 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
参考例句: |
|
|
305 constrains | |
强迫( constrain的第三人称单数 ); 强使; 限制; 约束 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
306 originality | |
n.创造力,独创性;新颖 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
307 relish | |
n.滋味,享受,爱好,调味品;vt.加调味料,享受,品味;vi.有滋味 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
308 sapient | |
adj.有见识的,有智慧的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
309 heartily | |
adv.衷心地,诚恳地,十分,很 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
310 injustice | |
n.非正义,不公正,不公平,侵犯(别人的)权利 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
311 conveyance | |
n.(不动产等的)转让,让与;转让证书;传送;运送;表达;(正)运输工具 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
312 consecutive | |
adj.连续的,联贯的,始终一贯的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
313 acquiesced | |
v.默认,默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
314 disapproval | |
n.反对,不赞成 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
315 prudence | |
n.谨慎,精明,节俭 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
316 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
317 romps | |
n.无忧无虑,快活( romp的名词复数 )v.嬉笑玩闹( romp的第三人称单数 );(尤指在赛跑或竞选等中)轻易获胜 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
318 sufficiently | |
adv.足够地,充分地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
319 supplanted | |
把…排挤掉,取代( supplant的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
320 wrath | |
n.愤怒,愤慨,暴怒 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
321 subscription | |
n.预订,预订费,亲笔签名,调配法,下标(处方) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
322 subscriber | |
n.用户,订户;(慈善机关等的)定期捐款者;预约者;签署者 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
323 abhor | |
v.憎恶;痛恨 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |